Afleveringen
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Today's podcast episode came about from a conversation I recorded with Paul Telford, the CEO of Emotional Bliss, a company focused on sexual pleasure. Paul has made it his mission to support older women in attaining sexual satisfaction. I was introduced to Paul by another guest, Kelly Connell, who suggested we discuss Paul's interest in how orgasms can help alleviate menopause symptoms. While I don't completely dismiss this idea, I believe that anything that feels good raises dopamine levels and enhances physical connection with a partner benefits both physical and mental health.
Originally from Yorkshire, Paul may not be the person you would immediately associate with someone who cares about women's sexual health. However, his perspective changed after a conversation with a sex therapist.
According to Paul, "During that encounter, I discovered that a significantly higher number of women rely on antidepressants compared to men. This is because men self-medicate throughout their lives, and it's even encouraged, while most women do not."
Paul began collaborating with leading sex therapists, as well as mechanical and electrical engineers. This collaboration led to the creation of Emotional Bliss, which developed prototypes of intimate massagers for women. After extensive work to find the best shapes, contact areas, textures, and vibrations, they received feedback and now offer a range of products with innovative features. These include incorporating heat and specific low vibrations that are ideal for targeting the larger clitoral nerves.
I hope you’ll enjoy this episode, and if you’d like to win an Emotional Bliss Intimate Massager, we have two to give away. All you have to do is refer your friends to this newsletter. The one who generates the most sign-ups by 30th June will win a vibrator.
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In this week’s episode, I interview Erika Shershun, a licensed therapist specialising in working with sexual trauma survivors, the author of the Healing Sexual Trauma Workbook and facilitator of the PESI Sexual Trauma Clinical Training.
Erika has counselled numerous older people who have had symptoms worsen later in life and is now seeking healing for sexual trauma from years earlier. Often, they’ve been in therapy prior but didn’t get the results they were looking for.
There is no expiry date when it comes to learning how to heal from any form of sexual trauma that may have taken place when a child, a teenager or in adulthood. And, as I’ve heard from specialists working in this area, the more we work through issues from our past, the more likely we will have a fulfilling relationship in the future.
Erika, herself a survivor of sexual trauma, talks about her own healing journey and about how she goes about helping others to “reclaim the life they were meant to live.” She is based in California.
Erika Shershun, MA, LMFT (she/her) Author of the Healing Sexual Trauma Workbook PESI Sexual Trauma Clinical TrainingHealing Sexual Trauma Journey ErikaShershunTherapy.com | HealingSexualTrauma.com
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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Welcome to Episode 90! It's wonderful to have you here. What started back in 2022 as a bit of a lark with (who now edits every episode) has turned into a chart-topping podcast, featured in The Guardian, The Telegraph, and multiple women's magazines. Along the way, I've learned more about sex than I thought possible, interviewed amazing experts from all walks of life, and hopefully opened your mind to deepening your own intimacy, whether with yourself or a partner.
This week, I'm in conversation with Colin Richards, whom I first heard about through a friend who had trained with him in sensual massage and spoke highly of him. Colin is well-known in the media, having helped over 8,000 clients since he started his practice back in 2005, to improve their sexual confidence and "gain a broader understanding of their partner's and others' sexuality to enhance their personal and intimate lifestyles."
During our discussion, we explore how intimate massage can be a gateway to understanding one's own erogenous zones and how, by allowing oneself to be pleasured by another with no need for reciprocation, we can experience the sexual pleasure we all deserve. I'm a firm believer that finding one's way to a happy, healthy sex life can happen at any stage of life, and intimate massage can be one way to understand one's own body. I'm looking forward to experiencing one of Colin's divine massages firsthand in a couple of weeks and will report back to paid subscribers.
Speaking of which, many thanks to those of you who have taken up a paid subscription. I truly appreciate it, and I have a backlog of toy reviews to catch up on, which you can look forward to if you're one of those who have chosen to pay £4.99/month. I'll also be sharing details of my holiday in Cap d'Agde, the world's largest naturist village, where I'm currently enjoying a break for a few days. It's a whole lot of fun here!
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You can find Colin Richards at:
Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/Intimacymatters
Twitter; https://twitter.com/IntimacyMatters
Website: https://www.intimacymatters.co.uk
Colin is a member of The Association of Somatic & Integrative Sexologists
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This week, I had the privilege of speaking with Dr. Rebbeca Lahann, a licensed psychotherapist since the late 1990s who has recently become a certified sex therapist. Her resume is impressively extensive.
Dr. Lahann has delivered many keynote addresses, and our conversation previews her upcoming talk, "Are Your Client's Sexual Values Aligned, or in a 69?", which she will present at the AASECT 2024 Annual Conference in St. Louis, Missouri, on June 12.
As we discussed, personal values serve as a compass that guides our lives and helps us understand and appreciate our self-development. However, when it comes to our sexual values, they may not always be aligned. How many of us, for example, would value honesty but feel reluctant to be completely transparent with our sexual partners?
Alternatively, if our first experiences of sex were non-consensual or shaped by the lens of pornography, how much does this create conflict or misalignment between our sexual values and our personal values? If that is the case, what do we need to do to help align our sexual values with our personal values?
It’s a weighty and multi-layered subject and one I certainly had not considered before.
You can find more information about Dr Lahann on her website here.
https://linktr.ee/DrRebbecaLahann
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This week's podcast discusses how relationships can recover after one person has had an affair. It also explores how one's upbringing can contribute to the ability to have a healthy, loving relationship.
Thomas Gagliano speaks with authority as a person who has battled his own demons and, as an addict in recovery, discusses how family dynamics can lead to a less-than-ideal foundation for building a strong relationship.
Gagliano focuses on helping individuals and families navigate difficult situations and relationships through empathy, understanding, and personal growth in his professional practice.
Working with men in groups, couples, and individuals, he guides his clients to understand how to have uncomfortable conversations, unlearn behaviors that no longer serve them well, and repair relationships that may have come apart.
Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
Thomas Gagliano is the author of The Problem Was Me”
IG: @theproblemwasme
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Website – Theproblemwasme.com
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Firstly, I want to warmly welcome all my new subscribers. Thanks to a recent article in The Guardian about sex among individuals over 50, many of you have joined. I'm glad to have you here, and I encourage you to explore the previous episodes of my podcast. They cover a wide range of topics, including exploring tantra in later life, discussing kinks, various sexual health dysfunctions, online dating, and much more.
Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
This week's podcast features a fascinating conversation with Tiffany Zahara. Tiffany specialises in assisting businesses that face censorship due to societal stigmas and government regulations. She provides comprehensive support to help these businesses focus on their areas of expertise and maximise their impact on the world.
In addition to her professional work, Tiffany has personal experience as a sex worker. She writes and speaks about the importance of normalising conversations around controversial topics such as intimacy and pleasure, which are often subjected to stigma, shame, and censorship.
During our conversation, we delved into the practical aspects of sex work, its role in maintaining long-term relationships, what typically happens during a session, and where to find workers who cater to specific preferences. We also discussed the significance of decriminalization and the need to protect the rights of sex workers.
You can find more information about Tiffany here.
I encourage you to subscribe and share this post/podcast, which I have created to help more older people to have a happy and healthier sex life. If you know of someone who would make a great guest or would like to nominate yourself, let me know. I have also opened up the chat function for paid subscribers whom are free to ask questions.
Subscribing costs a very reasonable £4.99 per month or £49.99 per year and goes towards the various costs I incur as a result of doing this such as hosting, recording software, social media tools. I welcome your contribution.
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This week, I had a lot of fun exploring with Ralph the concept of kinkiness and how older individuals can embrace their kinkier side later in life.
Ralph is a multi-talented professional who works as a writer and musician in both mainstream and adult content industries. He is the co-host of the "Licking Non-Vanilla" podcast, an anthologist, editor, columnist, blogger, produced playwright, adult scene scriptwriter, toy reviewer, SEO web writer, kink convention teacher, press agent, and interviewer. Needless to say, he possesses extensive knowledge about kink.
Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
Speaking from my personal experience, as someone who discovered kink in my forties, I may be a bit biased, but I believe it is one of the most inclusive lifestyles I have encountered. When I delved into the world of BDSM, for example, I noticed that people of all ages and abilities were present. It was within the kink community that I began to comprehend the relationship between pain and pleasure, the role of role-playing and fantasies in safely exploring forbidden topics, and how to establish deeper connections with partners beyond traditional sexual intercourse.
Ralph is entertaining, and you’ll love listening to him.
If you want to hear more from Ralph, check out his podcast, Licking Non-Vanilla, here.
I like Ralph's six-part series on Love, Sex & Kink here.
If you’d like to book a 1:2:1 coaching session with me, click the link below. If you’re seeking the voice of experience over academic qualifications related to all things sexual, I’m your gal. Discretion assured.
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You're never too old to engage in sexual activity, although in a care home setting, it may seem otherwise due to staff often neglecting the need for intimacy in later life.
In this episode, I interview Kelly Connell, a sex educator who has worked in various settings, including retirement communities and community centers for older individuals. It is fascinating to hear her perspective on the challenges she encounters in her work and the types of questions that older people ask her about sex and dating, which highlights the lack of available information.
The main focus of this podcast has always been to support older people in having satisfying sexual experiences, based on their own preferences. It is important to acknowledge that sexual activity can continue until the end of our lives, if desired.
However, my conversation with Kelly clearly indicates that there is still much work to be done to ensure that older people, particularly those in care home settings, are not deprived of their sexual autonomy, and that their relatives and staff are there to offer support.
www.kellyconnellconsulting.com
Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. We rely on your contributions to continue to pay for the hosting and other costs of maintaining this podcast.
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Trigger Warning: This episode addresses sensitive topics related to male sexual abuse, grooming, and rape.
The inspiration for this episode came from watching the popular Netflix TV show "Baby Reindeer," which is based on a true story. It follows a struggling comedian who becomes the target of a mentally unstable woman. Simultaneously, he seeks the attention of a successful comedy writer who ends up abusing him. While the series explores various issues, one aspect that stood out to me was the intense shame experienced by the character due to the abuse. Additionally, it delves into the confusion surrounding his sexuality and the shame he carries due to the events that took place.
It wasn't until I embarked on my own sexual journey in my forties, exploring alternative lifestyles and having conversations with men, that I began to comprehend the prevalence of sexual abuse experienced by older men. Often, these traumatic experiences occurred during their time in boarding schools or within the Catholic church. I heard their stories so often, that I began to believe that anyone aged 50+ who had not suffered abuse, whether sexual or emotional, was the exception that proved the rule.
In this candid discussion with Dr. Graham Stevenson, an intimacy and relationship coach, we delve into his own childhood experience of sexual abuse. Dr. Stevenson shares the personal work he has undertaken to overcome his own shame and how he has assisted others in their healing journeys. We also explore how unresolved trauma can profoundly affect one's interpersonal relationships.
Among the podcasts I have hosted, I firmly believe it is crucial to foster an environment where we can openly share our experiences. By doing so, we can offer support to others who may be facing similar challenges.
https://www.doctorgraham.co.uk/
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Christine Baumgartner was an experienced dating and relationship coach when her husband died six years ago. Little did she realize back then that her own experience navigating grief, confusion, and reconnection would ultimately lead her to coach other widowers.
In this episode, we discuss the unique experience of dating after loss, especially around body confidence and sexual dysfunction. Christine offers great tips on overcoming feelings of not feeling as fit and frisky as earlier in life, and how she works with both men and women to help them stop chasing unsuitable partners and find "the perfect catch."
The good news is that many of Christine's clients have discovered there are safe and proactive ways to re-enter the dating world that truly work.
Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
The Perfect Catch/Facebook
Christine Baumgartner/LinkedIn
@coachchristinebaumgartner/ Instagram
@ThePerfectCatch)/Twitter
Coach Christine Baumgartner/ YouTube
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In this week's episode, I delve into the topic of finding love as a woman aged 50 and above. Joining me as a guest is Lisa Copeland, a dating coach and the founder of Find a Quality Man, based in Cleveland, Ohio. Lisa brings her firsthand experience of seeking love later in life, having been married for over 20 years.
Having spent more than 20 years navigating the world of dating, I understand that at this stage in life, we may seek a different kind of relationship than our younger years. However, it's common to fall into the trap of holding onto the old Cinderella concept, believing in instant attraction and the idea that someone out there will sweep us off our feet.
Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
During my conversation with Lisa, I thoroughly enjoyed exchanging dating stories and gaining insights on avoiding online dating scams. We also discussed strategies for navigating the crucial first date and the essential questions to ask during that initial meeting.
Ultimately, it boils down to knowing what you truly desire. If you're uncertain about your own wants and needs, it's unlikely that you'll find a high-quality partner. So, to all the single individuals out there, I wish you fruitful searching, and I hope you find value in this episode!
https://findaqualityman.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisacopelanddatingcoach
Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/lisaacopeland/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/copelandlisa
Instagram: www.instagram.com/over50datecoach
YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKghu6KAXE2TecDc7SGygZg
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This week, I'm having a conversation with sex coach Marie Morice, who uses the female archetype of Lilith to help women embrace their sexuality. I'm familiar with Lilith because I've read Monique Roffey's book, 'The Tryst.' It's a modern fable where Lilah's arrival transforms a couple's relationship, loosely based on Lilith's persona. So I was curious to talk to Marie and learn about her perspective on Lilith and how it influences her work.
Marie is based in London and works with many older women. Some of her clients want to gain sexual confidence, while others who are in relationships want to enhance their sexual experiences.
I encourage you to listen to the conversation, and if you have any questions or comments for Marie or me, please let me know!
As always, I appreciate your support. I'll be adding an extra post each week exclusively for paid subscribers. These posts will usually be sex toy reviews, but they could also be answers to your questions. Do consider supporting Sex Advice for Seniors via a paid subscription if possible.
You can read about Marie’s forthcoming novel: https://manhuntinginmanhattan.com/
Find Marie’s website here: lilithyourlife.com
Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
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In this week's episode, we interview Suki Dunham, the creator of the first device that combines music and vibrations, developed in 2006. Since then, she has developed a wide range of innovative sexual pleasure products under her brand, OhMiBod.
During the interview, we discuss Suki's career journey, from her time at Apple to her decision to start a sex tech business. We also delve into her latest creation, the Lovelife Rev, a specially designed toy for older individuals or those who may experience arthritis. Lastly, we touch upon the importance of being cautious when purchasing a sex toy to ensure that the materials used are safe and won't cause harm.
We are thrilled to announce that OhMiBod is now a sponsor of Sex Advice for Seniors. Both OhMiBod and our team believe in spreading the message that people can enjoy fulfilling sexual experiences, regardless of their age.
If you’d like to help us spread the word and keep Sex Advice for Seniors going, click on any of our affiliate links in the shop section. We’ll receive a small commission for anything you purchase.
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I came across Maria Cyndi's Instagram profile recently, where she has started advocating for and celebrating the sexual rights of disabled people. I immediately felt that we should have her on our show. In the past, when Peter was a co-host, we did touch upon this topic, mainly from a male perspective as he lives with MS.
However, we believed it was important to approach the subject again, this time from a female point of view. During our conversation with Maria, we discussed many aspects that we hadn't previously explored.
One clear observation we made is that when it comes to inclusivity, particularly regarding sexual rights, older disabled women face significant challenges. There seems to be an assumption that they are asexual. Maria shared her personal experiences, including a visit to the doctor for a smear test that left her feeling uncertain, as well as another instance where her disability made it difficult for the radiographer to obtain a complete picture of her breasts during a mammogram.
If you want to follow Maria on Instagram and support her work, you can do so here:
https://instagram.com/maria_cyndi02
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This week’s fascinating guest is Dr. Eliot Justin, CEO and founder of FirmTech, a wearable tech company which has created an innovative cock ring, that provides men with information about their nocturnal erections, a leading indicator of vascular health.
Did you know that a healthy man will have 3-5 nocturnal erections each night? And that erectile dysfunction is not just a later-in-life problem; 30% of men at the age of 30 suffer from ED. This number increases by 10% every decade of age. As Dr. Justin explains, ED can be caused by several factors including taking antidepressants and other medication, but several studies have shown that a man with ED has a greater risk of having heart disease.
We’ve spoken about penis pumps as a way to improve penile health, but cockrings have also been shown to help maintain the blood in the penis, leading to longer-lasting erections. While most are quite rudimentary in design, FirmTech is producing something quite superior, with its MaxPR product, featuring an innovative easy on/off hook and latch design that can be comfortably worn for up to 90 minutes.
We hope you enjoy this episode as much as we enjoyed recording it with Eliot.
If you want to test any of FirmTech’s products, use the code SEXWITHNOBLE to get 10% off any product from their site here.
* Website – myfirmtech.com
* LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/elliot-justin-md/
* Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/myfirmtech/
* Code – “SEXWITHNOBLE” to receive 10 per cent off their next order
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Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later, and it happened this week. I found myself being targeted by a group of (I assume) Far Right, conservative men who took offence to my suggestion that excessive consumption of pornography could have negative effects on one's sex life.
As one would expect, this rather unremarkable and self-evident observation triggered a barrage of abusive comments. Fortunately, those comments have been deleted, and the individuals responsible have been blocked. This all unfolded on Facebook because TikTok has a more effective system for removing hate speech compared to Meta.
Despite claiming that I didn't care and wasn't paying attention, I couldn't help but notice as the notifications kept pouring in, one after another, each one mentioning my supposed lack of attractiveness, my delivery style being off-putting, or whatever else these trolls deemed worthy of commenting on.
This week has been significant in various ways, mostly positive. A writer from the Mail newspaper featured me as a "granfluencer," even though I don't have grandchildren. Additionally, the Sun newspaper wrote today about my passion for experiencing orgasms, with or without a partner.
Furthermore, we have secured a sponsor who will assist in covering the costs of running this podcast, and we will be collaborating with them on TikTok. The sponsor is OhmiBod, and together we aim to "Shift the Evolution of Pleasure." I'll be trying out some of their products, including the Lovelife Rev, which boasts an innovative design that is particularly suitable for women with arthritis. Go and check them out.
All of these topics and more are discussed in this week's episode. Listen in and if you fancy subscribing for £4.99/month or £49.99/year to support our work and because you believe that what we do to help older people have a healthier sex life is worth the price of a cup of coffee, do consider becoming a paid subscriber. Every penny counts.
Suzanne
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We were delighted to have a very special guest on the show this week, Dr. Lauren Streicher MD, talking primarily about the research findings from the recently published ‘Kinsey Institute survey, executed in exclusive partnership with Cosmopolitan, in which a national demographically representative sample of 3,001 women in the U.S. ages 60 and up come clean about everything from their desire for sex to their deepest fantasies.’
Dr Streicher is a gynaecologist and sexual health expert. She is an associate clinical professor of obstetrics and gynaecology at Northwestern University's Feinberg School of Medicine. She is also a Senior Research Fellow of the Kinsey Institute of Indiana University and the Medical Director of Patient Education and Community Outreach for Midi Health. She hosts her podcast, Dr. Streicher’s Inside Information
https://www.drstreicher.com/about
https://www.drstreicher.com/podcast#episodes
LinkedIn @DrStreicher
Instagram @DrSTREICH
@MidiHealth
Facebook @DrStreicher
Dr. Streicher’s Inside Information books
Midi Health
We need your help! Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Every new subscriber is two fingers up to a society who continue to ignore the sexual rights of older people.
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Avoiding pornography is nearly impossible nowadays, unlike in the past when it was only accessible in XXX cinemas or hidden behind the counter in seedy magazine shops. Today, it's readily available on your phone, laptop, and home computer, allowing you to find whatever you desire with just a few keystrokes.
While there's a lot of discussion about how young people are learning about sex from pornography, there's not as much focus on the harm it can cause to older individuals, both those in long-term relationships and those entering the dating scene. Particularly for men, if they've been without a partner for a significant amount of time, pornography can serve as a way to relieve sexual frustration. This doesn't mean that women aren't affected by it as well, but the statistics suggest that it's more of a problem for men.
The Sex Advice for Seniors TikTok channel has received numerous comments from women over the past 18 months, asking for advice on how to prevent their male partners from watching porn. In this episode, we discuss how to identify a porn addiction and the steps you can take to rebuild intimacy in your relationship.
Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, pay for our ongoing running costs, why not become a free or paid subscriber?
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One of the most popular questions we have been asked is how do you keep sex alive in a long-term relationship? As Zoe says, when you’ve known someone for 150 years, and they are no longer mysterious, it’s common for sex to go out the window. And this is especially true if your bodies are no longer the shape they were when you met your partner, and your libido isn’t what it used to be either.
But, as the cliche goes, if there’s a will, there’s a way. And couples that want to have more sex, or any sex at all, are in a far better position to make that happen than those for whom it’s no longer critical (which is fine, by the way, too).
It's important to remember that sex in a long-term relationship is not solely defined by novelty or physical appearance. While maintaining a passionate and fulfilling sex life can be challenging over time, it is undoubtedly possible with open communication, creativity, and a willingness to adapt.
Prioritising intimacy and emotional connection outside the bedroom can significantly enhance sexual intimacy. Ultimately, the key is to accept that the person you are now is different to the person you were in your earlier years. By understanding and accepting your older sexual self, you can discover new ways to be intimate in later life.
Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This covers our ongoing costs for recording software Riverside.fm, and subscriptions to platforms such as Podstatus, Databox, and Repurpose.io, which keep the engine running. We don’t pay ourselves but that would be welcome in the future as it all takes time.
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If you’ve ever wondered what a sexologist actually does, you’re about to find out as co-host Zoe Kors explains her work as a sex and intimacy coach.
While she explains that sometimes issues, such as a mismatched libido, may be relatively easy to solve (in some cases), in most cases, having better sex can mean overcoming shame, trauma or abuse. Better sex is usually about more than technique, but in becoming liberated from whatever hangups, compulsions or fears may be preventing you from being fully present with yourself or another.
It’s work that is varied and complex, not easy to categorise as it traverses psychotherapy and sexual therapy.
If you’re struggling to have a healthy sex life or want a better sex life, she currently has a few slots open for new clients.
Listen and learn. :)
If you are seeking couples coaching or want to an individual session with Zoë Kors, you can find her at:
https://www.zoekors.com/
Buy her book Radical Intimacy from Amazon here.
Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This covers our ongoing costs for recording software Riverside.fm, and subscriptions to platforms such as Podstatus, Databox, and Repurpose.io, which keep the engine running. We don’t pay ourselves but that would be welcome in the future as it all takes time.
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