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ā¢Family comes first.
ā¢Blood is thicker than water.
ā¢Iām your mother/Father (which means Iām your superior to always be referenced even when Iām wrong or abusive.).
ā¢You donāt abandon family
If I were an abuser, wouldnāt it benefit me to get you to believe that I come before everyone or everything else?? Even your safety and well being.
These sayings which are messages have an ability to condition you to believe family is the only source of abuse that should always be tolerated and excused.
The issue with this conditioning is you will tolerate and excuse abuse from others, because most if not all our conditioning begins in the home and is mirrored back to us in our worldly encounters.
This is why a man who has a poor relationship with his mother often times will have a poor relationship with his girlfriend, wife, or women.
This is why women who have daddy issues often times have relationship issues with men.
The cycle of abuse ends when you decide it will not be tolerated any longer.
It begins with you. #changethenarrative
#selfhealingjourney #lettinggoofthepast #familydynamics #dysfunctionalfamily #toxicfamily #abusers #emotionalabuse #emotionaldamage #childhoodtraumarecovery
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Donāt forget to book a complimentary discovery call
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Self love, intuition and how to restore your self confidence.
Hey yāall š£ļø
In todayās live, we were talking about self love, intuition, and how to restore our self-confidence.
I talk a little bit about how energy is our first language, and how overtime our intuitive voice becomes silenced the more we reject the voice of intuition to embrace the voice of fear.
I give thorough examples of what this looks like.
I also share tips on how to restore self confidence, build a healthy relationship with yourself, and what that looks like.
You donāt want to miss this live check it outšÆāØ
TalkOnTopiczš§
#selfconfident #selfloveandacceptance #selfdiscoveryjourney #selfdiscipline #womeninblue #meninwhite #healthyrelationshipSupport the Show.
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In this episode Iām talking about how our relationship pallet is created, how to discover your relationship pattern and the tools to cultivate a new relationship standard.
If youāre tired of dating the same woman or man in a different bodysuit, repeating unhealthy relationship pattern and want a new perspectiveā¦. Iāve got the tips in this episode to set you free.
Did this episode resonate with you?
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Anxiety is rooted in fear.
We have anxiety when we feel there is a perceived threat.
Fear is rooted in unworthiness.
Intuition is rooted in self value and worth.
Fear feels like confusion and chaos to the body.
It triggers our fight, flight and freeze responses.
When it comes to intuition, Intuition is calm, confident and gentle.
Intuition reminds you of your worth and value. What you deserve.
Intuition always wants what is best for you.
Donāt forget to book a complimentary discovery call
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Healing cognitive distortions:
In our childhood we can unconsciously create stories or cognitive distortions about ourselves in an effort to make sense of the neglect, harsh words or punishment, and abuse weāve experienced from our parent or caregiver.
These distortions were created in an effort to protect you and/or because you were unable to articulate with your childlike mind the harshness, the neglect, the abuse from people you were also supposed to look to for protection and trust.
Because our immature, under developed mind could not make sense of those harsh experiences, as children we often blamed ourselves for the way our parents treated us. As our parents are our first models of relationship and how we are to interact (what we should or shouldnāt tolerate) in relationship.
Those cognitive distortions may have been effective in your childhood environment, however it is most likely hindering you in your adult relationships. As an adult we must put away childish thinking and think with our adult logical mind and stop replaying messages from the past that no longer serve us and are hindering us from living our best lives.
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A breakup can feel so detrimental that weāre unable to clearly articulate or fathom that there could be something positive or a win for us by this ending.
its only when we are able to self reflection and become aware of ourselves that we can develop a higher perspective to see the endless possibilities that are before us.
Everything that ends doesnt have to be a sad ending; especially if it releases you from continual pain, abuse and neglect. That partner most likely wasnt in alignment with your relationship values or goals and the universe has given you an opportunity with this ending to have the relationship you deserve and desire. When we are looking backwards itās difficult to see forward, to see repurpose, realignment and redirection.
Alot of the mental narratives can deter us from the limitless possibilities before us. Believing thoughts that tell us, no one will love you, accept you, provide for you, grow with you. Of course someone will.
However, take a moment and self reflectā¦how are you a direct reflection of your experiences?
How are you in your own way?
How could you contribute to your goals?
What actions could you take or what actions could you eliminate to reach your goals?
What is the next best step.
Donāt forget to book a complimentary discovery call
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Healing the invisible child.
This is the child who grew up with narcissistic, egocentric or abusive parents and were extremely neglected and almost forgotten.
This child is neglected or abused because the child doesnāt serve functions that their parent(s) want or need, or the child may not make the parent look good.
Or this child may have a parent who is neglectful and resist the demands of parenting. Doing the bare minimum and resent any demands on their time or interest from the child.
These children are often unseen and their needs are overlooked.
The child may become introverted and feel like a throw away.
The child may feel like remaining invisible and out of the way is what the parent(s) want and may negatively internalize this and feel as if their interest arenāt worth while.
This becomes part of their identity.
Theyāre reluctant to try new things, or other personal risk.
They dress/present themselves in a way that wouldnāt cause notice from the world.
The child may feel like being unseen is safer than being the object of embarrassment, abuse or harsh remarks.
This can shape the invisible childās self esteem into believing they arenāt worthy of being seen, valued or protected. ā itās okay I can do it, or itās okay, you can skip over me.ā
Does this post resonate with you?
Have you been classified as shy, extremely independent or socially anxious?
Are you struggling to feel seen and heard in your adult life?
This may look like advocating for your needs and wants, asking for help or simply establishing healthy boundaries.
Do you feel often neglected, forgotten or like you donāt fit in?
TalkOnTopiczš§Support the Show.
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People pleasing is really an attempt to control someone elseās perception of you and reality.
This is a form of gaslighting and manipulation.
This is actually a detriment to yourself. The sooner you show up as your true self the sooner you get to know their true intentions for you. That way you can determine and decide if you want this personās company or not. But when you pretend to be something that you arenāt you attract inauthentic people which creates an inauthentic experience because you werenāt being your authentic self.
This also creates a lack of connection as the disconnection in the relationship perpetuates the loneliness you feel when you arenāt able to authentically connect with your partner due to your inauthenticity.Support the Show.
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Moving beyond my pain.
Stepping into purpose.
Healing the past.
Growing beyond my experiences and expectations.
Creating my life.
Choosing my tribe.
Living for me.Support the Show.
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Healing after abuse is a process. 3 things Iāve done after #covertnarcabusesurvivor is
1. Gone #nocontactnarc If this person couldnāt value and respect me in an intimate relationship, he doesnt deserve any of my time as a friend. His time is used up and so is the hope for any type of continual access to a me. #queen
2. Spent quality time with myself. This looks like self reflective journal writing, meditation, #mirrorhealing
3. Rebuilding self trust. This looks like keeping my promises to myself. Operating in integrity with self.
These few things have really transformed my healing journeySupport the Show.
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