Afleveringen
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Sanjay grew up near Compton, California, surrounded by drugs and violence. Today he shares his insights and experience to help men going through life transitions and mid-life crises.
Sanjay's background includes investment banking at J.P. Morgan, business development, film and television production, and much more. He is the author of five award winning children’s books, and he started his own publication company. His books celebrate zen principles and female empowerment, as he has twin daughters.
Sanjay’s passion is coaching men on spirituality, emotional well being, nutrition and physical health, creativity, communication, and regaining a sense of self and fun. On today's episode, the Dads and Sanjay discuss overcoming stress and dissatisfaction through identifying the problem, and taking the steps to achieving a successful, happy, and fulfilled adult life.
Links
https://sanjaynambiarcoaching.com/
Videos
Email Sanjay
Thank you for your support. If you like what you hear, please leave us a review. It helps get the word out.
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This week the Dads share strategies on how to respectfully communicate and divvy up chores and responsibilities in the home. A lot of fights in marriage are due to poor communication, and resentment often builds up when we feel we are doing more than our partners. 50/50 in a marriage is ideal, but oftentimes life throws us curve balls and we have to pick up the slack. Learn some strategies and tips on how to plan, communicate, and share the load around the house. The Dads get personal this week with stories from their own lives. You won’t want to miss this week’s episode of The ADHDads.Make sure to check out TheADHDads.com for more episodes and content.And thanks for your support.Show NotesThe Fair Play Game
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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Today the Dads welcome back superstar Shell Mendelson! Shell is an ADHD career coach who has trained with Richard Bolles, author of What Color is Your Parachute? She helps adults with ADHD navigate career decisions and transitions. She published A Course for ADHD Adults and Teens: Unlock Your Career Path. Mendelson has been on numerous podcasts and helps individuals unlock their purpose and discover true happiness in their careers. This week the Dads discuss with Shell the benefits of advocating for ourselves in our path toward a career, as well as in the workplace. If there's one thing we can stress, it's to advocate for your best self wherever you are, and when you're an adult, you're often at the office. Shell shares with the Dads some strategies to discovering our paths, and making them work for us.
Website
www.careercoachingwithshell.com
Your Next Career Move MasterClass
A Course for ADHD Adults and Teens: Unlock Your Career Path
Purchase on Amazon
We are incredibly grateful for Shell's return to the podcast. If you feel moved to purchase her incredible workbook, please let us know. And as always, thank you for your support!
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Dr. Janie Funk is the clinical director of Behaven Kids, which focuses on building hope through mental wellness in children. They work with families and children to teach effective skills for succeeding in life and concentrate on ABA therapy, or Applied Behavior Analysis, which helps reinforce learning techniques around improving social skills in functional communication, as well as helping to decrease challenging behaviors and help educate parents on neurodiversity and ASD.
Dr. Funk discusses with the Dads the benefits of ABA therapy, as well as multi-disciplinary methods for success. Creating consistency and predictability is valuable for any neurodiverse person, but is it all that one needs? Listen to our discussion to learn more.
behavenkids.com
Behaven Kids on Facebook
Behaven Kids on Instagram
Behaven Kids on LinkedIn
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Becca Lory Hector was diagnosed on the autism spectrum as an adult and has since become a dedicated autism and neurodiversity advocate, researcher, consultant, speaker, and author. She now teaches a course called “Self Defined Living: A Path to a Quality Autistic Life,” which focuses on autism and neurodiversity consulting which promotes an active and positive lifestyle.
On this episode, Becca discusses with the Dads how a diagnosis can change one's life, bringing peace and understanding where there once was misunderstanding and loss of direction.
We appreciate your listening to this important, deep discussion on the value of learning and knowing oneself. As always, thank you for your support, and for more, check out theadhdads.com.
Links
https://beccalory.com/
https://www.trulyinclusiveleadership.com/
Becca on LinkedIn
Becca on Instagram
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This week the Dads dive into how to press that ol’ restart button on your emotions. We all get triggered and have bad days, but what does accountability and forgiveness look like? How do we reset and forge a new path? Well, this week the guys give some strategies around just that. Learn how to hold yourself accountable, make amends, and plan for next steps. We all fall, but how we get back up and push forward is what really teaches our kids resilience. You don’t want to miss this week’s episode of The ADHDads.
For more content check out TheADHDads.com
And thanks for your support!
CJ’s 5 steps to a reset
Journaling
Get all of your thoughts out. Keep writing all of the good, bad, and the ugly. Get it all out on a page and purge your troubled mind.
Reflection
Reflect on your journaling and decide which areas you need to take accountability for and which actions you consider wins.
Accountability
Make amends, to not only your peers, family, or friends, but yourself as well. Apologize and add other perspectives to your experience by talking with others you have affected.
Planning
Strategize and plan how you will handle triggering scenarios moving forward. What tools, tips, tricks, or techniques will you implement when you feel emotions rise?
Grace and forgiveness
Check in with yourself and others regularly and offer grace and forgiveness as you learn a new behavior and way of responding.
The six elements of an effective apology, according to science (osu.edu)
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Today the Dads talk about how to "choose your hard." They discuss strategies they've used in their own situations to navigate difficult life choices, where facing a challenge was and is the only option. Choosing your hard doesn't mean bad, but rather is an opportunity for growth.
Choose your hard is a motivational statement that encourages you to be proactive in facing challenges and difficulties inherent in life. It doesn't imply that life will be without difficulties, but rather that you have some agency in choosing which challenges you will confront. Here are some key aspects of this concept:
1. Acknowledging Difficulty
Life is full of challenges, and "choose your hard" acknowledges this reality. It recognizes that pursuing goals, making changes, or simply living authentically will often involve overcoming difficulties.
2. Proactive Choice
While we cannot control all circumstances, this phrase emphasizes that we have some level of control over which difficulties we face. It encourages us to consider different options and their potential consequences, allowing us to choose the path that aligns with our values and goals, even if it presents challenges.
3. Comparison and Awareness
"Choose your hard" can also encourage us to compare the potential difficulties of different choices. For instance, staying in a stagnant job might be comfortable in the short term, but it could lead to long-term dissatisfaction and lack of growth. Conversely, pursuing a career change might be initially difficult, but it could ultimately lead to greater fulfillment and personal satisfaction.
4. Growth Mindset
This phrase often aligns with a growth mindset, which believes that skills and abilities can be developed through effort and perseverance. Choosing a "hard" path often involves learning new things, stepping outside your comfort zone, and facing setbacks. However, the potential for growth and personal development can be greater on this path compared to one that avoids challenges altogether.
5. Embracing the Journey
While acknowledging the difficulty, "choose your hard" doesn't glorify suffering. It's about accepting challenges as part of the journey and focusing on the potential outcomes and growth that they can bring.
It's important to remember that "choose your hard" is not a universal prescription for all situations. External factors and circumstances can significantly limit individual agency in choosing their "hard." However, it can be a helpful framework for individuals who feel stuck or unsure when faced with life's complexities, encouraging them to consider their options, take ownership of their choices, and embrace the growth that comes with overcoming challenges.
Referenced in this episode
Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy
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Andrew Kirkaldy is a father, lacrosse coach, recovering alcoholic, and pursuer of growth. In the latest episode of the Dad Den, the Dads discuss the evolution of men, from influences and inspirational figures in our childhood, to redemption through divorce and addiction. Life lessons can be learned and taught simultaneously, as the Dads dive into showing up for our kids with transparency and compassion while experiencing the highs and lows.
This episode is a raw and real conversation. You don't have to be an addict, or a divorcee, or even a father to gain valuable takeaways for yourself and your relationships in this conversation with coach Kirkaldy. Thank you for listening, supporting, and contributing to the ADHDads!
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Dan Mitchell is one of our favorite talented and successful imports. He found a great opportunity with his company to move his family to the States years ago, and they have called America home for some time. In the years following the move, Dan reflects on the work that needed to be done within himself, and within his family. The Dads discuss today the importance of finding happiness for oneself, and for our families as they evolve into the space of co-parenting.
This episode is important not just for people who are separated with kids, but also for any person interested in finding a path in their personal growth so they can, in turn, find success in their relationships by developing core values and confidence.
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Leanne Pritchett is a veteran Special Education Teacher and Advocate for the past 17 years. She is currently employed as a Teacher of the Visually Impaired and as an Orientation and Mobility Specialist. Along with teaching third year Hebrew, she is a licensed Speech-Language Pathology Assistant. She works with students that range from ages 3 to 22 that have numerous diagnoses that range from Autism, Cerebral Palsy, Learning Disabilities, to Physical Abnormalities, and kids who are Severely Emotionally Disturbed. The list goes on and on..
She’s also recently started a micro podcast at Swellcast, which focuses on educating the public about Special Needs and how to see the child, NOT the diagnosis. Our conversation today takes a special focus on how we see our kids and not their diagnoses.
Linktree
Swellcast
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Let's be honest, no one can be the ideal role model at all times. Expecting perfection is a recipe for disappointment. In fact, perfectionism often pushes us further away from success. In this episode, we confess some of our recent failures, and we lift each other up through grace. Being the example is near and dear to our hearts, because we deeply care for our children and loved ones. In this first episode in a series of being the example, we will share some valuable tips, as well as what to look out for, on the path to being a good model for our kids. Stay tuned for more episodes on being the example.
Being the ideal example for your kids isn't about achieving perfection, but about living with intention and showing them values you consider important. Here are some ways to approach it:
Lead by example:
Integrity: Show that your words and actions align. Keep promises, admit mistakes, and treat others with fairness and respect. This teaches them honesty, accountability, and empathy. Kindness: Spread kindness throughout your interactions. Be helpful, compassionate, and understanding. Encourage them to do the same towards others, fostering a caring environment. Resilience: When faced with challenges, don't give up easily. Show them how to find solutions, learn from mistakes, and persevere through difficulties. This builds their confidence and problem-solving skills. Growth mindset: Embrace lifelong learning and encourage curiosity. Explore new things, ask questions, and be open to different perspectives. This fosters a love of learning and a growth mindset in your kids. Healthy habits: Prioritize good sleep, nutritious food, regular exercise, and stress management. This teaches them the importance of taking care of themselves, both physically and mentally.Open communication:
Talk openly about your values: Explain why certain things are important to you and how they guide your decisions. This helps them understand your perspective and develop their own values. Listen actively: Pay attention to their thoughts and feelings, validate their experiences, and create a safe space for open dialogue. This builds trust and encourages them to communicate honestly with you. Acknowledge their efforts: Celebrate their achievements, big and small. Offer constructive feedback when needed, focusing on progress and learning opportunities. This fosters their confidence and encourages them to keep trying.Remember:
Be authentic: You don't need to be perfect. Show your kids that it's okay to make mistakes, learn from them, and keep growing. Focus on progress: Set achievable goals and celebrate progress along the way. It's a journey, not a destination. Be patient: Change takes time. Be patient with yourself and your kids as you work towards building a positive and healthy environment.Most importantly, show your kids love and understanding. Let them know you are there for them, no matter what. Being a good role model is about creating a nurturing environment where they can learn, grow, and become the best versions of themselves.
Thank you for your support! Check out theadhdads.com for more.
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Have you caught yourself in an argument with your kids, and you know the only way out of it is frustration? As parents, we are modeling behavior for our children in every moment. When our kids are arguing with each other, they’re learning how to strengthen their position as well as how to navigate opposition. When our kids argue with, we teach them boundaries, listening, curiosity, and peaceful disagreement. Or, at least that’s what we should be teaching them!
In this episode, the Dads talk about parental strategies for having peaceful disagreements with our children, as well as how to argue with our neurodiverse kids. Here are some strategies for those times we find ourselves locked into an argument:
Be Clear About Rules
Parents should be clear about what the parameters look like. Make it clear as soon as possible what is negotiable, and what is not.
Positive, Difficult, Positive
Our kids will have strong emotions and opinions. They should have the space to express how they are feeling. That doesn’t mean they should get that space whenever they want.
Ask your child to state something positive, then explain why they are upset. Finish again with something positive.
Pause and Designate Time/Space for Upset
Basically, there should be a clear understanding about where and how they can voice their upset. It limits the chances of a circular argument. Does your child really want to keep asking questions to understand where you’re coming from, or are they asking questions because they are arguing for what they want? Let them have space and time to work through the upset, and give them the space to do that with you as well.
Set Clear Boundaries Before Any Argument is On the Radar
“If you interrupt repeatedly, I will tell you as calmly as possible that the conversation must continue another time. If that also isn’t respected, we will instill a consequence, or I will simply walk away and explain why.”
Affirm and Acknowledge
When an argument is being respected by your children, acknowledge their thoughts, feelings, and points to show them you also respect them. Model positive disagreements.
Focus on Good Behaviors
Give power to the good choices. Be specific when giving praise.
Links
Siblings without Rivalry by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
As always, thank you for your support! We are into our second year of the podcast! If you would be so generous to consider a contribution to the show, or to simply buy us a meal, we'd be so grateful. We are excited to hear from you this year!
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Steve Anderson is a Life Coach for fathers, a stepfather, husband, the former executive director of the Boys to Men Mentoring Network of Minnesota from 2011 to 2022, and he has led men and boys through transformative weekends in multiple states across the U.S. and internationally. He is a Certified Professional Coach and completed the Certificate Program in Applied Neuroscience from The Neuroscience School.
For this first conversation with Steve, the Dads discuss the benefits, power, and privilege of carrying the title “Father.” To be able to embrace fatherhood regardless of our biology is an honor, and something not to be taken lightly. If you are a step or “bonus” parent, be sure to listen to this episode.
We also discuss the importance of self care. As fathers, we can find ourselves wanting to serve and provide for our families without taking into consideration our own well-being. But as we know, extending ourselves too far can take its toll at home as well as at work. In this first part of our talk with Steve on self care, we begin to affirm fathers and what we can do to strengthen ourselves to best show up at home.
You can reach out to Steve at his website, https://steveanderson.coach/. Steve’s program, The Best Dad Program, will move you from feeling hopeless to empowered to become the father you are meant to be, and build and maintain healthy relationships with your children.
About Steve
My dad wasn’t around much when I was a teenager, but I thought that was normal. He’d come home angry from work, go to his home office, and that was it. I started to get angry. I wanted a dad who was there for me, but I wasn’t the one who could make that happen. When I was 15, he had a nervous breakdown from stress at work, but it made little difference to me if he was at work, in his office, or detained for his own safety in a mental institution. Absent was absent. I realized I was on this path to manhood on my own.
When I was in my 30s, I was in a toxic relationship, and I realized that something needed to change, but I just didn’t have the strength or know-how to do so. I started on what was to be a long journey of self-discovery, with the help of many courses, support groups, counseling, and qualifications. Eventually, I had the strength to leave that toxic relationship.
My life changed from that moment on. I met and married a wonderful woman who already had two boys, aged 4 and 9. I adopted them after their biological father drank himself to death a few years later. This was hard for them, but I was able to be there and support them.
Being a son or daughter is hard, no matter what kind of parents one has. We are all shaped by our past and current circumstances. We are not trapped by them. I’ve spent the last 15 years developing the skills, knowledge, and experience to help men become better fathers.
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It's been a year since we started The ADHDads podcast. Thank you for your support! In today's episode, we reflect on our first year, what we've learned, and how we grew through the process. We discuss the benefits of receiving a diagnosis and the support that can come with it. With all we've learned, we have so much more in store, with deep dives into neurodiversity, skills building, family and interpersonal relationships, and so much more.
Thank you for your support during this first year of the podcast! We are grateful to continue to deliver to you a glimpse into life from our places in the world, and the major life lessons that we all grow from. You can support our podcast by leaving a review, or accessing the link below.
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Genevieve King is the founder and CEO of Origins Curriculum, a program developed to provide innovative eco-conscious education solutions that inspire and equip schools and educators in environmental awareness and sustainability. She is a long-time entrepreneur from the Flathead Reservation in beautiful western Montana where she grew up immersed in and connected to nature. Genevieve has over 25 years experience in early childhood education and an extensive background in environmental sustainability. She majored in Environmental Journalism and obtained her CDA credentials as well as her Preschool Teaching Certification.
Today Genevieve discusses with the Dads the major benefits of interconnected education, sustainability, and connecting with nature. How does this type of education, whether at school or at home, help our children with neurodiversity? Genevieve provides some great insights that we and our children can all benefit from exploring.
Origins Curriculum is currently having a December sale. You can choose either 20% off for four months, or first month free as well as 15% off items in their store. Please access the following links for more:
EXLORATORY COURSES (Masterclass for Kids Collaboration)
ECO EDUCATOR COURSE (for parents and educators of all ages)
https://www.instagram.com/origins.curriculum
https://www.tiktok.com/@origins.curriculum
https://www.facebook.com/origins.curriculum
https://www.linkedin.com/in/genevieveking/
DECEMBER SALE
Thank you for your support during our first year as The ADHDads! If you like the show, and would be so kind to give us a positive review on your platform of choice, it would help us to find a larger audience. If you have an idea you’d like to hear us discuss, or would like to contribute in any way, please reach out to us at theadhdads.com. Happy holidays!
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Today the Dads welcome Emma Leigh Rivera to the show. Emma provides a glimpse into what it looks like for her to navigate and view the world post autism diagnosis as an adult. She also provides us with a look into the past and how an autism diagnosis plays a part in living out memories.
Emma found a great opportunity in theater and writing that helped her navigate social dynamics, past traumas, and more. Be sure to listen to what owning and learning about your autism means to Emma.
Thank you for your support. We are excited for the holidays, and are in a season of gratitude. We appreciate the time you spend with us each week. For more, check out theadhdads.com.
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Kristen Carder is an ADHD expert, a top podcast host, and an internationally-recognized life coach for adults with ADHD. She joins the Dads for an intimate and personal discussion on ADHD.
What does treatment for ADHD look like? How do we make the treatment “worth it?” What support do you have in your life? Is ADHD a superpower? Be sure to listen to our conversation with Kristen as we directly address these very important matters and misconceptions in the world of ADHD, and discuss why we must take great care of what we say and believe.
Kristen’s extensive experience supporting people with ADHD began in 2012, and for the last four years she has provided coaching and consulting to thousands of ADHD adults.
ADHD is not a buzz word to Kristen Carder, it's her life's work. She started studying ADHD and its effect on adults long before it was trending on TikTok, and has had the privilege of learning directly from the leading psychiatrists and psychologists in the ADHD industry.
Kristen’s life’s purpose is to help adults with ADHD accept themselves and move from Point A to Point B. She does this through the I Have ADHD Podcast and her group coaching program, FOCUSED.
You can use your gifts to be awesome in this life. To also have the privilege of great support will only further your strengths. We are grateful to share this wonderful conversation with Kristen today. As always, thank you for your support. For more, check out theadhdads.com.
ihaveadhd.com
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What tools and strategies do you use when teaching and practicing empathy? How do you encourage empathy in your neurodiverse children? This week the guys continue discussing empathy. As any parent of a neurodiverse kid knows, encouraging empathy can be a challenge. The guys dive into useful tools and resources that have helped them along their journey, and offer tips and tricks for planting a seed of empathy in our kiddos and having the patience and persistence to watch it grow.
For more content check out TheADHDads.com.
And thanks for your support!
Links:
The Color Monster: A Story About Emotions by Anna Llenas
Slumberkins
Marriage Be Hard by Kevin and Melissa Fredericks
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Never Split The Difference by Chris Voss -
Do your relatives misunderstand your neurodiverse kids and mistreat them?
Do you ever feel like you need to protect your kids from your relatives?
On today's episode, the Dads talk strategies, scenarios, and scripts to help you navigate the holidays with solid boundaries with family and neurodiversity.
Some things to consider saying in your script:
We all are excited to have a good time together. Here’s what I would love from you to my family in order for that to become successful.
Here’s what our day tends to look like, and here’s what our family looks like in that.
The change in routine and level of excitement will be, at times, overwhelming, and here are some things we say and do to help moments of heightened sensation.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or concerned, I’d love for you to talk with me about it rather than with my kids. (We want the tension to be handled with the adults first so we understand each other)
I’m the one my kid trusts the most, and I’m the parent, so the discipline is most safely understood when coming from me. It means the most for you and for my kid when you enjoy each other rather than having you discipline him.
My kid has certain needs that might not always fall in line with others’ expectations. For example, he needs to get up and move rather than sit at the table for a set period of time.
Have someone else who understands the situation be there to offer safety and calm as well.
Other things to keep in mind:
If I don’t speak up for my child, then they will experience a loss of safety.
It’s impossible to know how things will go, so apply grace, especially to yourself. If you need to give yourself some time to center, don’t feel guilty about it. Take that time if you can get it so you can best show up for yourself and your family.
Consider whether visiting family is in fact in your best interest.
Don’t forget to have realistic expectations.
Relatives might say they understand neurodiversity, but the truth is that we are still loving an individual. Self-control looks different for everyone, and in every situation.
As always, thank you so much for your support. We will get through the holidays together! For more, check out theadhdads.com, and visit us on all the socials.
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Distancing language is any type of language that creates a sense of emotional or interpersonal distance between the speaker and the topic being discussed. It can be used intentionally or unintentionally, but it can often have negative consequences, such as making the speaker seem less empathetic or trustworthy.
Here are some examples of distancing language:
Using the passive voice: Instead of saying "I made a mistake," someone might say "A mistake was made." This can make it seem like the speaker is not taking responsibility for their actions.
Using vague or impersonal language: Instead of saying "I'm feeling sad," someone might say "I'm not feeling my best." This can make it difficult for others to connect with the speaker's emotions.
Using euphemisms: Instead of saying "The company is laying off workers," someone might say "The company is rightsizing its workforce." This can be used to downplay or desensitize a difficult situation.
Using third-person pronouns: Instead of saying "I think this is a good idea," someone might say "One might think this is a good idea." This can make the speaker seem less committed to their opinion.
Using hedging language: Instead of saying "I'm sure this will work," someone might say "I hope this will work." This can make the speaker seem less confident.
Blame shifting, or minimizing role: “I could have been better, but…” This creates distance between the speaker and the conflict and outcome, passing the blame to someone else.
To avoid using distancing language, try to be as direct and honest as possible. Use the active voice, specific and personal language, and state your opinions clearly. Be mindful of your emotions and try to express them in a way that others can understand.
Here are some tips for avoiding distancing language:
Use the active voice whenever possible. This means that the subject of the sentence is performing the action. For example, instead of saying "The dishes were washed," say "I washed the dishes."
Use specific and personal language. Instead of saying "Some people think this is a good idea," say "I think this is a good idea."
State your opinions clearly and avoid hedging language. For example, instead of saying "I hope this will work," say "I'm confident that this will work."
Be mindful of your emotions and try to express them in a way that others can understand. For example, instead of saying "I'm not feeling my best," say "I'm feeling sad today."
Take whole ownership of your role and action steps moving forward. For example, “I became defensive and expressed my anger in a hurtful way. I will explain my emotions in the future, and be open to hearing the other person’s perspective.”
By avoiding distancing language, you can communicate more effectively and build stronger relationships with others.
Thanks for your support! To support the Dads and the podcast, please use the link below, or visit theadhdads.com.
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