Afleveringen
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In this episode, I open up about my journey with softness, vulnerability, and discovering my fearful-avoidant attachment style. I share how those patterns showed up in datingâespecially with one man I really wanted but pulled away fromâand the self-sabotage loop I didnât even know I was stuck in.
Weâll talk about what softness is (and what itâs not), how femininity is rooted in our relationship with God, and what it takes to let go of old patterns so you can attract love that actually aligns with your desires.
If youâve ever found yourself retreating just when love gets close, this episode will help you see the pattern, name it, and start breaking free.
In this episode of The Bougie Dating Coach Podcast, Stacey explores:
đ¸ What softness really means (beyond pastel colors and pretty aesthetics)
đ đ˝ââď¸ The myths around femininity and vulnerability
đ How her fearful-avoidant attachment style led to pulling away from a man she actually wanted
đ The âSelf-Sabotage Loopâ that keeps women stuck in cycles of retreat and protection
⨠The counteractions you can take to interrupt those patterns and invite real connection
đđ˝ Why softness is not weakness but a spiritual posture rooted in God
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For years, I believed a lie that left me chasing after the âperfectâ man who didnât exist. The truth? No one gives you 100%. Even the healthiest relationships are an 80/20 splitâ80% of what you need, 20% of what you wonât. In this episode, I share how letting go of that lie shifted my dating perspective, why character matters more than butterflies, and how to identify your core values so you stop settling for less (or holding out for what doesnât exist).
What Youâll Learn in This Episode:
Why the âI deserve it allâ mindset can keep you single and frustrated
The 80/20 rule for dating and how to apply it
The difference between attraction and characterâand why both matter
How to identify your core values so you stop dating in circles
The one question to ask yourself before deciding to stay or leave a relationship
Resources Mentioned:
[The List Ebook] (Click Here) â Your guide to identifying red, yellow, and green flags so you date with clarity.
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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Thereâs a shift happening in meâand maybe in you too. A divine nudge to slow down, pull back, and let go of the checklist Iâve clung to for most of my life.
In this episode, Iâm sharing what it feels like to sit in the in-between: the space where desire is loud, but Godâs instruction is ârest.â Where everything in me wants answers, timelines, and actionâbut God keeps inviting me into stillness and trust.
Iâll talk about:
The emotional tug of letting go of a life plan that wasnât mine
How Iâm learning to trust that pulling back isnât punishmentâitâs positioning
The grief, frustration, and peace that coexist in the pause
Why your checklist might be keeping you from your clarity
This episode is a permission slipâfor the woman whoâs tired of striving, whoâs ready to hear from God again, and whoâs brave enough to believe that waiting well is still movement.
Youâre not stuck.
Youâre not late.
Youâre being prepared. -
Sis, hereâs the truth: God is specific. So why are we still being vague when it comes to what we desire in a man?
In this episode, Iâm inviting you into the exact conversation I had with God about my desiresâno filters, no shame. From the pressures of the invisible clock to the temptation to "settle just a little," weâre talking about it all.
Weâll walk through:
Why vague prayers lead to vague results
The Exodus blueprint that inspired The List
What it looks like to cancel out confusion and only entertain clarity
How to reject âIâm just trying to seeâ energyâbecause youâre not a maybe
And the real reason specificity builds belief
Plus, Iâll share 3 tangible ways Iâm showing up in dating now that Iâve gotten clearâwith myself, with God, and with potential partners.
đ ď¸ Resources Mentioned:đ The List E-Book: Your guided tool to name your dating desires with clarity & boldness (https://www.colormetherapyllc.com/shop)
đŹ Join the Bold Dating Community: [Insert link]
đ§ Share this with a friend whoâs tired of dating in limbo
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Youâve been praying⌠faithfully, tearfully, hopefully. But letâs be honestâitâs starting to feel like your love life is on permanent do not disturb mode. If you grew up in the church, youâve likely heard, âJust pray and trust God,â but when it comes to your romantic desires, the silence can feel deafening.
In this episode, weâre reviving your prayer lifeânot with empty platitudes, but with purpose, clarity, and faith that doesnât waver when things get dry. Iâm breaking down how to shift your prayer language, what it means to truly ask for a Boaz and be ready for him, and why consistency in your spiritual ask is just as important as alignment in your daily actions.
This is not about begging or bargaining with God. Itâs about standing in bold belief, refining your request, and praying like a woman who knows she's already heard.
What Youâll Learn in This Episode:
Why your love life feels stuck even though youâve been praying
How to get clear and specific in your request to God (no more vague or fear-filled prayers)
The mindset shift from desperation to confident expectation
The importance of language in your prayersâwhat youâre really saying vs. what you think youâre saying
How to remain persistent without growing weary or discouraged
Connect With Me:
đ˛ Follow me on IG https://www.instagram.com/staceybessard/
đ Book your Discovery Call Staceybessard.com -
Girl, if you're waiting for a man to start living your lifeâyouâre doing it backwards.
In this episode, Iâm breaking down the one date that will change your confidence, your magnetism, and your standardsâand it doesnât involve a man at all.Weâre talking about solo datingâwhat it is, why it matters, and why you might be avoiding it. Whether itâs lack of time, not knowing where to go, or lowkey being bitter about doing it aloneâthis episode is your loving push to reclaim your time, your joy, and your standards.
I even share my personal solo adventure to Madrid and how it unlocked a version of me I wouldâve never met if I waited for a relationship.
By the end of this episode, youâll be ready to put on your cute dress, plan a date with YOU, and show up for yourself in a whole new way.
In this episode, we dive into:
Why solo dating increases your magnetism
The real reason you say you âdonât have timeâ
How past generations missed out on this confidence tool
3 reasons you may be avoiding solo dates (and how to shift that today)
Staceyâs story of solo traveling to Madrid after heartbreakâand why sheâs better for it
What solo dates teach you that brunch and scrolling never will
đĽ DOWNLOAD THISđ Grab your Free Solo Date Ideas List with 20+ cute date ideas from easy to adventurous: [ Date You First: Solo Date Experience Guide]
đ Letâs Stay ConnectedIf this episode blessed you, screenshot and share it on IG stories and tag me [@staceybessard]!
And if you're ready to go deeper in discovering your magnetic presence, check out my 12-week coaching program: Magnetic Presence -
Tired of hearing âJust waitâGod will bring him when you least expect itâ? Sis, letâs be real: that phrase is starting to sound more like a band-aid than a breakthrough. In todayâs episode, Iâm unpacking why your wait on God might feel frustrating and how to actually shift into a season of magnetic, aligned actionâwithout losing hope.
This isnât about striving, performing, or being busy for the sake of it. Itâs about stepping into alignment with who God has called you to beâso what youâre waiting for is drawn to you naturally, not stressfully.
đ What Youâll Learn:What waiting on God isâand what it isnât
How spiritualized procrastination may be keeping you stuck
Why inner posture matters more than passive positioning
A powerful story of what happened when I aligned with my authentic self
How to prepare for love while still living fully
Practical ways to fill your calendar with aligned, magnetic moments
A presence practice you can use this week to move from frustration to flow
đ§ Journal Prompts to Reflect On:What am I doing in my life right now that reflects trust in Godâs timing?
Have I unintentionally used âwaiting on Godâ as a spiritual excuse to hide?
What are five things I love doing that bring me joy outside of dating?
How can I start showing up in those spaces more often?
Am I aligned with the version of me my future partner is praying for?
⨠Mini Challenge:Create your magnetic moment calendar.
đ Mentioned in This Episode:
List your top 5 interests. Find events, classes, or experiences aligned with them. Add at least one to your calendar this week. Then goâand be fully present.Elegance Unleashed Coaching â 1:1 support to align with the woman who attracts what she desires
Real-life story: How I met a guy when I wasnât lookingâbut was in full alignment
IG Poll results: What women really think about waiting on God
đ˛ Stay Connected:Letâs keep the conversation going:
đ§ Listen Now:
â IG: @staceybessard
â DM me âWAITINGâ if this episode hit home and youâre ready for your magnetic shift.Apple Podcasts | Spotify
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Are you staying in again this weekend, hoping love will just knock on your door? Sis, it's time to get up, get dressed, and get in position. In this episode, Iâm sharing three intentional places to go EACH DAY this weekend that will help you increase your chances of meeting a man who actually matches your lifestyle and valuesâwithout having to sacrifice your standards or your sanity.
This episode is perfect for the woman who:
Feels like she has âno timeâ to dateIs tired of going to loud bars and forced eventsWants to meet quality men organically, while enjoying life on her termsYouâll hear:
Where to go Friday, Saturday, and Sunday (plus a Sabbath-friendly bonus idea)What to wear so you feel confident, feminine, and like herEasy ways to start a conversationâeven if it feels awkwardWhy these locations work, even if you donât meet âthe oneâ this weekendBecause dating doesnât have to be a drag. It can be joyful, elegant, and completely in alignment with the woman youâre becoming.
đĄ Takeaways:Dating works when you are present, positioned, and playful.
Itâs not about chasing, itâs about placing yourself where alignment lives.
Even if you donât meet âhimâ this weekend, you build confidence, joy, and self-trust by showing up for you.
đ Resources Mentioned:Episode: Flirting 101 â 3 Tips to Be Magnetic Today
Local event sites (search your cityâs museum events, hotel bar calendars, and farmers markets)
đŹ Letâs Connect!đ Join my email list for bold dating tips and resources
đ¸ Follow me on Instagram: @thebougiedatingcoach
đ Book a session or join one of my live workshops at www.staceybessard.com
đ§ Listen now and turn your boring weekend into a bougie love-magnet adventure. You deserve a love that feels aligned, exciting, and deeply satisfying.
đ Stay Bougie & Happy Dating,
Stacey -
Sis, are you confusing friendliness with flirtation? If youâve ever left a conversation wishing youâd shown your interest instead of freezing upâthis episode is for you. In this juicy and practical lesson, Iâm teaching you how to flirt like the bold, bougie, and God-aligned woman you are. Weâre talking soft eyes, gentle smiles, and the flirty finesse that invites the right kind of masculine attention.
Letâs make sure you're not sending friend vibes when your heart is ready for something more.
⨠What Youâll Learn in This Episode
Why you might be coming off more âchurch professionalâ than magnetic and flirty
My Signature Flirt Combo: soft eyes, a gentle smile, a caught-off-guard compliment, and a light touch
How to create flirtatious moments that feel natural, not forced
The exact phrases to use that open the door without chasing
The difference between being inviting vs. being too guarded
Why you must align with your most authentic self to attract aligned connections
đĄ Power Takeaways
Flirting is not performance, itâs energy: When you soften your body, energy, and toneâyou create space for a man to pursue.
Soft eyes are your secret weapon: Learn to drop the forehead tension and let your feminine energy lead.
Compliments are conversation starters: Use unexpected compliments to open the doorâwithout losing your mystery.
Confidence is magnetic: You donât have to prove anything. Your presence is the message.
đ đ˝ Bougie Bonus Tip
âFlirting isnât about doing moreâitâs about doing less with more intention.â
Inside Elegance Unleashed, I teach my clients how to embody softness, boldness, and alignment in their dating lives. We practice this on live calls until it becomes second nature. Want in? [staceybessard.com]đ Links & Resources
đ Apply for Elegance Unleashed: [Apply Here]
đ Join my email list for weekly bougie dating gems: [https://stacey-bessard.kit.com/2d88ae710e]
đąFollow me on IG: @stacey.bessard
đ§ Listener Love?
If this episode helped you see flirting differently, leave a 5-star rating and share it with a friend who's ready to be seen and pursued!
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In this episode, weâre calling out a silent saboteur in your dating life: hyper-independence. That âIâll do it myselfâ energy and go-go-go lifestyle might be great for your career, but it could be quietly blocking the very relationship youâre praying for.
We explore how your money mindset and overworking habits are linked to unhealed woundsâand how those wounds are dimming your magnetism. Youâll learn how constantly being in provider mode can put you in a masculine energy loop that repels the kind of love you desire.
If your schedule is full but your heart feels disconnected, this is your gentle nudge to pause, reflect, and release. Letâs talk about surrender, softness, and creating space for the love you truly want.
JOIN my Newsletter: Join The Elegance Unleashed Community- https://stacey-bessard.kit.com/2d88ae710e
Follow Me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/staceybessard/
Book a Discovery Call: staceybessard.com
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Sign up today! Elegance Unleashed 12-week Dating Coach Program- staceybessard.com
Follow me on IG- https://www.instagram.com/staceybessard/
Follow me on TIKTOK- https://www.tiktok.com/@datingwithstacey?lang=en
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Episode Notes: Itâs Okay to Take Your Time
In this episode of The Bougie Dating Coach Podcast, weâre tackling the pressure to rush your dating journey and settling into the peace of Godâs perfect timing. Stacey Bessard shares biblical insights, real-life truths, and practical advice to help you embrace patience while remaining intentional and confident.
What Youâll Learn in This Episode:
The importance of not rushing through your dating journey by drawing lessons from the story of Mary and Martha.Why youâre not desperateâand how to stand in your worth without settling.How to release the scarcity mindset and trust that the inventory isnât running out.Why itâs not about finding everyoneâitâs about finding the one.Actionable ways to make the most of your season:Be present for yourself now.Take intentional breaks when dating feels overwhelming.Create a life and environment that reflects the future youâre building.Quotes to Remember:
âYouâre not desperate. Youâre already whole, worthy, and enough.ââThe right person for you isnât running outâtheyâre aligning with your journey.ââGood things take time. Great things take intention. And all you need is one.âYour Next Steps:
Reflect on your own dating journey. Are you rushing, or are you present?Start making intentional changes to align with the life and love you desire.Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear that itâs okay to slow down.Resources for You:
Elegance Unleashed â Elevate your magnetism and prepare for the love you deserve.Follow Stacey on Instagram @StaceyBessard for more dating tips and inspiration.Connect with Stacey:
Instagram: @StaceyBessardWebsite: StaceyBessard.comEmail: [email protected]Donât forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode to spread the love and help more women date boldly and unapologetically!
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⨠Listener Challenge: Write down your top three non-negotiables. Reflect on whether youâre honoring them and identify one action you can take to uphold them starting today.
đ˘ Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Dating Glow Up Masterclass: Ready to elevate your magnetism and create a dating life that reflects your highest self? Join us for this transformative experience! Registration Opening soon!Letâs Connect:
Follow me on Instagram: [@StaceyBessard]Share your top non-negotiables with meâtag me in your posts or stories!Subscribe and leave a review if this episode resonated with you.New episodes drop every Thursday! Letâs keep building a bold, colorful, and aligned dating life together. đ
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Key Takeaways:
Why focusing solely on marriage can lead to frustration and neglecting yourself.How prioritizing your growth and fulfillment enhances your magnetism and clarity.Practical steps to focus on you, including setting boundaries, detoxing your life, and pursuing your passions.Encouragement to trust Godâs timing and embrace the beauty of your current season.Vision Board Material Links:
https://a.co/d/eBlXfAV
https://a.co/d/jciledl
https://a.co/d/0ga0j6r
FB Community: Elegance Unleashed
https://www.facebook.com/share/g/15UGFXwJMR/
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In this episode, we dive deep into the reasons why we feel the urge to reconnect with an ex and how to build resilience to move forward with clarity and confidence. Whether itâs about overcoming emotional habits, breaking unhealthy cycles, or standing firm in your decision to move on, this episode is packed with practical advice and heartfelt encouragement.
Key Takeaways
Why We Reach Back to an Ex:
Emotional bonds and familiarity can feel safe, even if theyâre unhealthy.Nostalgia and selective memory can cloud our judgment and make the past seem better than it was.Fear of loneliness often convinces us to settle rather than face the uncertainty of new beginnings.Staying Strong and Moving On:
Set Boundaries: Create space by limiting or eliminating contact with your ex.Challenge Your Perspective: Reflect on why the relationship ended and what you truly need in a healthy connection.Prioritize Self-Care: Reclaim your energy by focusing on personal growth and fulfilling activities.Lean on Your Support System: Surround yourself with friends, family, or a therapist for accountability and encouragement.Envision Your Future: Stay grounded in your worth and focused on the relationship you deserve.Featured Highlights:
A heartfelt listener story about breaking free from the âon-again, off-againâ cycle.A guided exercise to help you detach emotionally and create a vision for your future relationships.Practical tools for overcoming moments of weakness when tempted to reach back.Episode Challenge
This weekâs challenge is to take a step toward closure. Write a list of the top three reasons your last relationship ended and how letting go aligns with your future goals. Share your progress on Instagram using the hashtag #SoberFromTheEx and tag me for a chance to be featured!
Resources Mentioned:
Book Recommendation: Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Findâand KeepâLove by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller.Thank you for listening! Donât forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.
Follow me:
Instagram: @coachstaceybPodcast Page: Bougie Dating Coach Podcast -
Episode Title:
Red Flags and Green Lights in Dating: How to Spot the Difference and Choose Alignment
Episode Overview:In this episode, weâre exploring the subtle yet powerful signals that guide our dating journeys. From recognizing the red flags that disrupt our peace to embracing the green lights we often overlook, this conversation will help you navigate dating with clarity, confidence, and intention.
Main Topics Covered:1. Understanding Red Flags
Definition: Behaviors or patterns that indicate misalignment, disrespect, or potential harm.Common Red Flags:Inconsistency (words donât match actions).Disregard for boundaries.Emotional unavailability or defensiveness.Lack of accountability or dismissive behavior.Reflection:Red flags often align with unresolved issues in ourselves.Are you tolerating red flags because they feel familiar or because youâre avoiding loneliness?2. Decoding Green Lights
Definition: Traits and behaviors that reflect stability, kindness, and alignment.Common Green Lights:Emotional availability and open communication.Consistency in words and actions.Respect for boundaries and values.Encouragement and support for your growth.Why We Ignore Them:They may feel âboringâ compared to drama-filled connections.Low self-worth can make us question whether we deserve such positive treatment.3. Mindset Shifts for Dating with Clarity
Embracing Your Desires: Itâs okay to want stability and peace in your relationships.Self-Worth and Deserving Love: How opening your heart to yourself first helps you stop settling for less.Trusting Your Intuition: Your gut often spots red flags before your heart does â listen to it.Key Takeaways:Red Flags: Acknowledge and act on them early â they signal whatâs not aligned with your values and needs.Green Lights: Start celebrating them! Healthy relationships donât have to be boring â theyâre where true love grows.Focus on Alignment: Prioritize partners who reflect the love, respect, and peace youâve cultivated within yourself.Call to Action:Reflect on the red flags and green lights youâve encountered in your past relationships.Ask yourself: What am I attracting based on my own internal positioning?Share your thoughts or stories on social media and tag me @CoachstaceybResources
Access the e-book "The List: Getting to know you, while finding the one for you
https://www.colormetherapyllc.com/shop
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Episode Summary
In this episode of The Bougie Dating Coach, Stacey Bessard explores what it means to date boldly and confidently in your 30s. She shares personal stories, practical advice, and faith-based insights to help single Christian women navigate dating with clarity and intention. This episode covers how to own your journey, the power of clarity, and how faith can be a guiding force in dating decisions. If youâre ready to embrace this phase with a strong sense of self and purpose, tune in and take your dating life to the next level!
Key Takeaways
Confidence as a Superpower: Walk into dates knowing your worth. Confidence doesnât mean arrogance; itâs about understanding your value and aligning with people who appreciate it.Clarity Attracts Alignment: Be clear about what you want in a relationship. Communicating your values and boundaries up front can save time and help you find the right match.Embrace the Process: Remember, dating is a journey. Each date offers a chance to learn more about yourself and refine your relationship goals.Faith and Boldness: Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to trust in Godâs plan. Relying on faith and praying for discernment can help you make empowered, spiritually aligned decisions.Listener Question
âHow do I stay motivated to keep dating when I feel like Iâm not meeting anyone who aligns with my values?â
Staceyâs Advice: Take breaks when you need them, but stay open. Every experience is part of the journey, and Godâs timing is always perfect.Episode Highlights
[2:00] - Staceyâs personal story about learning clarity and alignment on a date in her 30s.[8:15] - Tips on dating boldly: confidence, clarity, and embracing the journey.[14:30] - How faith shapes our dating approach as Christian women.[18:00] - Listener question about staying motivated in dating and Staceyâs response.Quotes
âDating boldly is about standing in your truth and knowing your worth.ââClarity attracts clarity. Be clear about your values and boundaries.ââTrust that Godâs timing is perfect, and Heâs guiding you to the right person at the right time.âResources Mentioned
Bible Verse: Proverbs 3:5-6 â Trusting in Godâs guidance and timing.Follow Stacey on Instagram: @CoachStaceyB for more dating tips and inspiration.Next Episode
Tune in next week as Stacey dives into âRed Flags and Green Lights: How to Spot the Difference in Dating.â Youâll learn to spot the signs that show whether someone is aligned or notâan episode you wonât want to miss!
If you enjoyed todayâs episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends. Donât forget to follow Stacey on Instagram @CoachStaceyb for more insights and updates. Stay bold, live colorfully, and keep attracting what aligns!
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In this episode of The Bougie Dating Coach, Stacey Bessard dives into the power of dating authentically and unapologetically—on your own terms. With societal and family pressures all around, it can be challenging to stay true to what you genuinely want in a relationship. Stacey explores how to define your unique values and standards, recognize and set boundaries, and confidently ignore external expectations. Listeners will come away inspired to embrace their individuality, trust their intuition, and pursue relationships that align with who they truly are. This episode is your guide to finding love by staying true to yourself every step of the way.
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Welcome to The Bougie Dating Coach with Stacey Bessard, where we empower successful, single Christian women to date boldly, embrace their colorful individuality, and attract the love that truly aligns. In each episode, Stacey combines insight, faith, and real talk to break down common dating challenges, shatter limiting beliefs, and inspire you to hold out for high-quality connections. With practical tips and fun, relatable advice, Stacey will guide you toward authentic, fulfilling relationships—on your own terms. Hit subscribe and join us on this journey to dating with elegance, confidence, and a whole lot of faith!
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