Afleveringen
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The Dad Joke King Episode 11...Intro...
This is the Real Kevin Richardson and welcome to The Dad Joke King. The home of the sometimes funny dad joke, but I wouldn't count on it.
Today's show is the birthday episode, that's right this is my birthday week, so I have birthday jokes. I also have several guests today telling a joke, and as always stick around for the after show.
Joke one...My wife tole me to forget about the past, you can't change it. Forget about the future, you can't predict it. Forget about the present, I didn't get you one.
Joke two...I want you to know there's nothing better than the presence of friends and family on your birthday, except the presents from friends and family on your birthday.
Dad Joke of the week...Seth London sent in this dad joke this week... Do you know why ducks are born depressed? Because they were born with bills.
Dad Joke Medley... Birthday Edition....How do pickles celebrate birthdays? They relish them. You know what they say about more candles... a bigger with!I'm not old. I'm aged to perfection. Statistics show that whose who have the most birthdays live the longest. Why do we put candles on top of the birthday cake? it's too hard to put them on the bottom.Be careful. Too many birthdays will kill you!My wife hired a clown for my birthday party. I told her thanks, I really do appreciate the jester. I was born a pessimist. My blood type is B negative. This whole birthday thing is getting old, don't you think?--------As promised I have several people that sent in dad jokes this week. There was a big response and some people sent in multiple jokes, so if you don't here all your jokes in this episode they will be on future episodes-----------
Guest Joke Tellers (Listen to hear the joke)Jacob Bell - A bearKade West - CricketsDayna Thornburg - A dryerNiki Richardson - Will SmithKat Deford - The OfficeCole Thornburg - A skeletonNorah Buikstra - Oklahoma SucksDilan - A SpoilerMeghan Breinig - A Dad Joke
Birthday Marriage Advice...The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once!
Call to action...Your challenge this week is a shameless plug for you to visit me at DadJokeKing.com and buy me a cup of coffee by clicking on the yellow coffee cup at the bottom or by clicking the donate tab for my birthday. Don't worry, I like cheap $2 coffee.
Outro...Outro Thanks for listening to The Dad Joke King. Visit The Dad Joke King website for more sometimes funny dad jokes, but I wouldn't count on it. See Ya!
Welcome to the After Show...Listen to the podcast to hear another joke and for me to talk about what I like on my birthday.
Copyright 2022 Kevin Richardson
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The Dad Joke King Episode 10...Intro...
This is the Real Kevin Richardson and welcome to The Dad Joke King. The home of the sometimes funny dad joke, but I wouldn't count on it.
In today's show, I have something to say to the person that stole my jacket, I also have a joke about golf and something to say about rising crime in the area. Then we've got the rapid fire dad joke medley, a little advice and a joke from Bob W. Stick around for the after show to hear a birthday announcement.
Joke one...To the person on crutches that stole my camouflage jacket: You can hide, but you can't run!
Joke two...Do you know why dads always carry an extra pair of socks when they play golf? Incase they get a hole in one.
Dad Joke of the week...After a series of crimes in the area, the police reported they were looking for a lady with one eye. I told them they should start looking with both eyes.
Dad Joke Medley...Milk is the fastest liquid on earth. It's pasteurized before you even see it. What do you call a bear who's lost all his teeth? A gummy bear. Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot. The scarecrow won an award because he was outstanding in his field. I know they say money talks, but all mine says is 'goodbye.'The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast. The problem isn't obesity runs in my family. It's that no one runs in my family. A blind man walked into a bar... and a table... and a chair. Last night my wife was complaining that I never listen to her... or something like that.
A Joke From Bob W...My friend told me to meet him at the music store in 45, I met him there in 33. To me that's record speed.
Advice...Always borrow money from a pessimist. They'll never expect it back.
Call to action...Your challenge this week is to visit me at DadJokeKing.com and click on the "Tell a dad joke" button and tell me a dad joke just like Bob W. did. Be like Bob.
Outro...Outro Thanks for listening to The Dad Joke King. Visit The Dad Joke King website for more sometimes funny dad jokes, but I wouldn't count on it. See Ya!
Welcome to the After Show...Listen to the podcast to hear about a birthday announcement for next week's episode.
Copyright 2022 Kevin Richardson
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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The Dad Joke King Episode 9...Intro...
This is the Real Kevin Richardson and welcome to The Dad Joke King. The home of the sometimes funny dad joke, but I wouldn't count on it.
In today's show I have bad news about my hearing, I have more bad news about my job. To make myself feel better I do have a joke about my wife and dog. Then to cheer me up we've got the rapid fire dad joke medley, a parenting tip and a joke from my daughter. Oh yeah, stick around for the after show to hear about married life.
Bad News...I do have bad news... I went to the doctor the other day and he tole me I was going deaf. It was hard to hear.
More Bad News...And in other bad news... I just got fired today from my job at a calendar factory. They fired me for taking a couple of days off.
Dad Joke of the week...My wife Niki asked me this evening if I had seen the dog bowl. I said no, I didn't know he could.
Dad Joke Medley...When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent. Why can't a leopard hide? Because he's always spotted. How does a penguin build a house? Igloos it together. What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad!What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick. There's something about subtraction that doesn't add up. Do you know what the leading cause of dry skin is? Towels!What do lawyers where to work? Law suits. How do lawyers say goodbye? We'll be suing ya!
A Joke From Kori Richardson...What's black and read all over? A newspaper!
Parenting Advice...A spinning ceiling fan will not support the weight of a child on a swing while your wife is having a girls night out. Trust me on this one.
Call to action...Your challenge this week is to visit me at DadJokeKing.com and click on the "Tell a dad joke" button and tell me a dad joke just like my daughter did because she felt sorry for me. You should feel sorry for me too. Yes you, because you haven't told me a dad joke yet, so go to dadjokeking.com and do it.
Outro...Outro Thanks for listening to The Dad Joke King. Visit The Dad Joke King website for more sometimes funny dad jokes, but I wouldn't count on it. See Ya!
Welcome to the After Show...Listen to the podcast to hear about Married life.
Copyright 2022 Kevin Richardson
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The Dad Joke King Episode 8...Intro...
This is the Real Kevin Richardson and welcome to The Dad Joke King. The home of the sometimes funny dad joke, but I wouldn't count on it.
In today's show, I have a joke about France and Greece. I also have a joke about a cliff hanger. Then I've got a story about getting pulled over by the police. Then we've got the rapid fire dad joke medley, a Saint Paddy's Day joke and a parenting tip that you will not want to miss. Oh yeah, stick around for the after show to hear about Dr. O'Malley.
French Fries...Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece!
Cliff Hangers...You know what they say about cliff hangers...
Dad Joke of the week...I got pulled over by the police today. He looked at my license and said your supposed to be wearing glasses. I said I have contacts. He said, I don't care who you know.
Dad Joke Medley...?How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.Can February March? No, but April May.What did the baby corn ask mama corn? Where's my pop corn?I used to believe that all things pass-until I got stuck behind a school bus. Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents. Two men walk into a bar. You'd think at least one of them would have ducked.What do you call a guy who's had too much to drink? A cab.Why did the rooster cross the road? To prove he wasn't a chicken.The trouble with getting to work on time is that it makes the day so long.
Parenting Advice...One word...Alcohol!
Call to action...Your challenge this week is to visit me at DadJokeKing.com and click on the "Tell a dad joke" button and tell me a dad joke. Yes, I am speaking to YOU! Let me speak slower... tell...me...a...dad...joke.
Knock Knock Joke
Outro...Outro Thanks for listening to The Dad Joke King. Visit The Dad Joke King website for more sometimes funny dad jokes, but I wouldn't count on it. See Ya!
Welcome to the After Show...Listen to the podcast to hear if I found any money this past week and a joke about Doctor O'Malley.
Copyright 2022 Kevin Richardson
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The Dad Joke King Episode 7...Intro...
This is the Real Kevin Richardson and welcome to The Dad Joke King. The home of the sometimes funny dad joke, but I wouldn't count on it.
In Today's show, I have news about the oldest man to hike the Appalachian trail. I have jokes about astronauts and I have to share about being robbed at the gas station. Then we've got the rapid fire dad joke medley and a parenting tip you will not want to miss. Oh yeah, stick around for the after show to hear about how I helped a little girl.
The Oldest Man...In today's news... an 83 year old man has become the oldest man to hike the Appalachian trail. He dedicated the hike to his wife that died a few miles back.
Astronaut...Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed some space.
Dad Joke of the week...I was robbed at the gas station today. When the police officer arrived asked me if I knew who did it, I said yes, Pump #4
Dad Joke Medley...If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I'll let you know. What's an astronaut's favorite part of a computer? The space bar.What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? They work on many levels.I failed math so many times in school, I can't even count.My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my food down.I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
Parenting Advice...If you are having trouble getting your child's attention. Do this... sit down and look comfortable. It works every time.
Call to action...Your challenge this week is to visit me at DadJokeKing.com and click on the "Tell a dad joke" button and tell me a dad joke. We have a growing community on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube and this podcast and I do want to hear from you.
Outro...Outro Thanks for listening to The Dad Joke King. Visit The Dad Joke King website for more sometimes funny dad jokes, but I wouldn't count on it. See Ya!
Welcome to the After Show...Listen to the podcast to hear about a girl that was lucky to meet me this week....
Copyright 2022 Kevin Richardson
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The Dad Joke King Episode 6
This is the Real Kevin Richardson and welcome to The Dad Joke King. The home of the sometimes funny dad joke, but I wouldn't count on it.
In today's show, I have a joke about my dry sense of humor and a joke about butter. I also have a joke about tacos. Then we've got the rapid fire dad joke medley and a parenting tip that you will not want to miss.
People say I have a dry sense of humor. It must be why I find dry erase boards remarkable. Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I 'm not going to spread it!
Dad joke of the weekAlright, it's now time for the dad joke of the week...
My Kids said the tacos I made were bad. So, I did what any good dad would do. I threw them out. I will miss those kids.
Dad Joke MedleyIt's now time for the dad joke medley...
I didn't think orthopedic shoes would help, but I stand corrected. What's the best way to talk to a giant? Use big words. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it. Why did the math book look so sad? Because of all of it's problems.What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!What kind of shoes do ninja's wear? Sneakers!I'm reading a book about antigravity. It's impossible to put down. I've got a great joke about construction, but I'm still working on it. I finally have the body I've always dreamed of, it's in my basement.
Parenting AdviceBefore we go, let me give you some advice...
If your child asks you to check under their bed for a monster. Tell them to leave you out of this. The monster is after you not me. I guarantee this will help them fall to sleep.
ChallengeYour challenge this week is to visit me at DadJokeKing.com and click on the "Tell a dad joke" button and tell me a dad joke. We have a growing community on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube and this podcast and I do want to hear from you.
OutroThanks for listening to The Dad Joke King. Visit DadJokeKing.com for more sometimes funny dad jokes, but I wouldn't count on it. See Ya!
--- Stick around for the After Show
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The Dad Joke King Episode 5
This is the Real Kevin Richardson and welcome to the dad joke king. The home of the sometimes-funny dad joke, but I wouldn’t count on it.
In todays show, I have sad news to share. I have a joke about a cross eyed teacher and a girl who broke up with me. Then we’ve got the rapid fire dad joke medley and a parenting tip about reading to your toddler that you will not want to miss.
Let’s do that thang...
Before we get started I wanted to do something a little different and take time to share with you, that’s right…. I have sad news. My maintenance man lost his legs at work. Now he is just a handy man.
Did you hear about the crossed eye teacher? He couldn’t control his pupils.
Alright, here is the Dad joke of the week…My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheel chair. Don’t worry! She’ll come crawling back!
It’s now time for the dad joke medley…. What did Tennessee, the same thing Arkansas.What is the biggest pencil in the world? Pennsylvania. What did Delaware? Her New Jersey. What country do cows love to visit? Moo Zealand. What state does the most laundry? Washington. What is the biggest pan in the world? Japan. Where do hamsters come from? Hamsterdam. What kind of cows do you find in Alaska? Eskimoos!Ireland’s capital is the fastest growing city. Every year it’s Dublin.Before we go let me give you some advice.
Your parenting tip of the week is…To make yourself seem like a better dad, tell your toddler that you wrote every book that you ever read to them. They are not that smart.
Your challenge is to Visit me at DadJokeKing.com and click on the tell a dad joke button and tell me a dad joke. We have a growing community on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube and this podcast and I want to hear from you.
Thanks for listening to the Dad Joke King. Visit DadJokeKing.com for more sometimes funny dad jokes, but I wouldn’t count on it. See ya!
After ShowCongratulations you made it to the after show or maybe I should say I’m sorry. This is where I talk about nothing so feel free to skip if you do not want to hear me ramble on. This past week I had a scary and stressful time as a dad. That’s right, I took my 16 year old daughter to take her drivers test. Of course I was worried that she may wreck or that she would do something that would cause her to fail the test, but I may have been more worried about did I do enough to teach her how to drive or to get her ready for the test. So, right before the test I was doing a crash course on parking. Okay, crash course is a poor choice of words, but I was trying to make sure she was really comfortable parking, but it turns out the test was just a quick loop on the road and didn’t really involve any parking, so she passed. Now she has to pass me much harder test before I let her drive by herself and she also has to be 40.
I want to thank Haley Snow for leaving a 5 star review and I want to thank you for being here. You make this fun.
Don’t forget to visit dadjokeking.com and click on the button to tell me your favorite dad joke. See you next week.
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The Dad Joke King Episode 4
Title: Switzerland, The English language, Feeling Down and What a Cowboy Did in Texas. Plus The Dad Joke Medley.
This is the Real Kevin Richardson and welcome to the Dad Joke King. The home of the sometimes funny dad joke, but I wouldn’t count on it.
In today’s show, I have a joke about Switzerland, also a joke about the thesaurus and the dictionary. I will tell you about a time I was feeling down. Then we’ve got the rapid fire dad joke medley and a parenting tip about getting your kids to bed on time that you will not want to miss. Oh yeah, stick around for the after show to hear a story about what a cowboy done in Texas.
(Let’s do that thang)
Do you know what the best thing about living in Switzerland is? I’m not sure either, but the flag is a big plus.
I bought the thesaurus I’ve always wanted, but when I opened it, all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am. And my mom bought me a cheap dictionary for my birthday. I couldn’t find the words to thank her
Alright, here is the dad joke of the week…When I was feeling down, my friend told me, “It could be worse. You could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.” I knew he meant well.
It’s now time for the dad joke medley…The shovel was a ground breaking invention.I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. I threw butter out the window because I wanted to see a butterfly. Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana. I wanted to wear my camo pants today, but I couldn’t find them. I just learned sign language, it’s pretty handy. How do billboards communicate? Sign Language.What is the least spoken language? Again, sign language.How does a pig write home? Sign language… just kidding, with a pig pen.(applause)
Before we go, let me give you some advice, your parenting tip of the week is…
Put your kids to bed at 5:00pm and the time they actually go to bed will be 9:00pm. You’re welcome!
This is not a joke, but dad joke t-shirts are now available at dadjokeking.com, Click on the store tab and check them out.
Thanks for listening to The Dad Joke King. Visit dadjokeking.com for more sometimes funny dad jokes, but I wouldn’t count on it. See ya!
(After show)Thanks for sticking around. This week I have another story I heard….
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.
He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.
“Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!” he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answer.
“Alright, I’m gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don’t like to have to do what I dun in Texas!”
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town.
The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say partner, before you go… what happened in Texas?”
The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”
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The Dad Joke King Episode 3This is the Real Kevin Richardson and welcome to the dad joke king. The home of the sometimes-funny dad joke, but I wouldn’t count on it.
In todays show, I have a joke about a kidnapping, but I warn you there is nothing really funny about kidnapping. Also a joke about walking to the bar. Then we’ve got the rapid fire dad joke medley and a parenting tip about the Tooth Fairy you will not want to miss. Oh yeah, I also have a story in the after show about a girl who can predict the future that you won’t believe.
(Let’s do that thang)
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don’t worry, the teacher woke him up.
The Dad Joke of the weekAlright, here is the Dad joke of the week…
It takes me ten minutes to walk to the bar, but an hour to walk home. The difference is staggering.
The Dad Joke MedleyIt’s now time for the dad joke medley…
Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella? Fo’ Drizzle You know it’s cold outside, when you go outside and it’s cold.I’m terrified of elevators. I’m going to take steps to avoid them. I also don't really trust stairs. They're always up to something.What's brown and sticky? A stick.I was accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine. What smells better than it tastes? A nose! What did one eye say to the other eye? “Between you and me, something smells.”Why can’t you have a nose that is twelve inches long? Because then it would be a foot.(applause)
Parenting Tip of the WeekBefore we go let me give you some advice. Your parenting tip of the week is…
Make sure your kids have a piggy bank they put cash in. That way, when you forget cash for the Tooth Fairy, you always have some handy.
Visit me at DadJokeKing.com and click on the links to follow me on Instagram and TikTok. If you enjoyed the show you can also buy me a cup of coffee by clicking on the yellow coffee cup at the bottom or by clicking the donate or buy me a cup of coffee button. Don’t worry, I like cheap $2 coffee.
And speaking of coffee…
What do you do to stop getting told a ton of coffee jokes? Use a coffee filter!
Outro - Thanks for listening to the Dad Joke King. Visit DadJokeKing.com for more sometimes funny dad jokes, but I wouldn’t count on it. See ya!
The After showThanks for sticking around… before I share this story that I heard. I want to thank you again for listening to the show. I mentioned before you can buy me a cup of coffee. If I am not worth the $2 bucks then you can also go to dadjokeking.com and help me out by clicking on the tell a dad joke button and tell me your favorite dad joke. I know your joke will be much better than mine. So prove it!
Alright, I heard this story...
A father put his three-year-old daughter to bed, told her a story, and listened to her say her prayers, which she ended by saying
"God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma, and good-bye grandpa.
Father said, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"
The little girl said, "I don't know, daddy. It just seemed like the thing to do."
The next day grandpa died. Father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later, the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this: "God bless mommy, God bless daddy and good-bye grandma.
The next day the grandmother died.
"My gosh," thought the father, "this kid is in contact with the other side.
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed, the dad heard her say "God bless...
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The Dad Joke King Episode 2
This is the Real Kevin Richardson and welcome to the dad joke king. The home of the sometimes-funny dad joke, but I wouldn’t count on it.
In todays show, I have a public service announcement about my Microsoft Office. I have a joke about LEGO’s Then we’ve got the rapid fire dad joke medley and a few other fun things and a parenting tip you will not want to miss.
Before we actually get started, I have a public service announcement… To the person that stole my copy of Microsoft Office. I will find you. You have my Word.
Alright, here is the Dad joke of the week…
The re-opening of the Lego stores in 2020 was a big event! Oh yeah! People were lined up for blocks!
It’s now time for the dad joke medley…
o So many people these days are too judgmental, I can tell just by looking at them.
o I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!
o What is the best time on the clock? 6:30 hands down.
o What did the taxi driver say to the wolf? Where wolf?
o I was addicted to soap, but I am clean now.
o It takes guts to be an organ donor.
o What did daddy bullet say to mommy bullet? Wanna Bang?
o What did mama bullet say to papa bullet? We’re having a BB!
o I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed
(applause)
Your parenting tip of the week is…
If you want to take a nap while the kids are at home, just say “wake me up in 20 minutes so we can clean the house.” They will do anything to avoid waking you.
Before we go, I want to give a big thank you and shout out to Haley Snow for buying me a cup of coffee. You to can buy me a cup of coffee and get mentioned on the show by going to DadJokeKing.com and by clicking on the yellow coffee cup on the left bottom of the page. I do like coffee!
Did you hear about the hipster who burnt his tongue? He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
Right now go to DadJokeKing.com and click on the “tell a dad joke” button and tell me your favorite dad joke and it could be played on a future episode.
You know, I like telling dad jokes and sometimes he laughs.
Outro - Thanks for listening to the Dad Joke King. Visit DadJokeKing.com for more sometimes funny dad jokes, but I wouldn’t count on it. See ya!
After show
Listen to the podcast directly to hear the after show.
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The Dad Joke King episode 1 - DadJokeKing.com
This is the Real Kevin Richardson and welcome to The Dad joke King. The home of the sometimes funny dad joke, but I wouldn't count on it.
In today's show, I have a joke about a virgin, but it's now what you think. Also a joke about my daughter upsetting me. Then we've got the rapid fire dad joke medley and a parenting tip you will not want to miss.
Virgin JokeDid you know there are no canaries in the Canary Islands? And the same thing applies to the Virgin Islands; there are no canaries there either.
Dad Joke of the WeekMy daughter asked me, can I have a bookmark? That really upset me! My daughter is 14 years old and she still doesn't know my name is Kevin.
Dad Joke Medley I bought Shoes from a drug dealer once. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!I was going to learn how to juggle, but I just didn't have the balls. Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet. What happens when you touch Dwayne Johnson's butt? You hit rock bottom.Someone asked me to name two structures that hold water. I was like well dam. I saw an old man fall into a well today. I guess he couldn't see that well. I used to be addicted to the Hokey-Pokey, but then I turned myself around. My recliner and I go way back. What's blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!
Parenting Tip of the WeekAfter your first child is born, go buy 20 years worth of poster board. This will save you countless 10pm trips to CVS.
Follow me on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube for more dad jokes. My user name on all three is RealKevinRichardson. I am also creating accounts under TheDadJokeKing on TikTok and Instagram, so follow those too. You can find all of these links and other info at DadJokeKing.com
Thank you for listening to The Dad Joke King!
After showListen to the podcast for the after show and a quick introduction.
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Trailer Episode 0 - The Dad Joke King
This is The Real Kevin Richardson and welcome to The Dad Joke King, The Home of the sometimes funny dad joke, but I wouldn't count on it.
The Dad Joke King podcast is hosted by a real dad with plenty of eye rolling dad joke experience. The show is released every Wednesday morning to make your hump day just a little better.
If you have a dad, know a dad or if you are a dad who likes dad jokes, then this show is for you. In each fast-moving episode you will find a mixture of dad jokes, parenting tips and other funny life advice including the Dad Joke Medley. Oh yeah, be sure to stick around for the after show where you will find something a little different each week.
Check out the show at DadJokeKing.com and just so you know, I like telling dad jokes and sometimes he laughs. (Rim Shot)
