Afleveringen
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Christmas can be a difficult time whether you are a targeted parent or not.
This episode first aired in Christmas 2022 and it highlights 12 ways to help you cope with #ParentalAlienation or #FamilyCourt
We have episodes published and planned with experts in their fields to go into depth in specific areas but for now I wanted to give a quick list of many things you can try.
In my experience nothing works all the time but many things work at different times and that's fine. As John Lennon said 'Whatever gets you through the night'.
This is the seventh Christmas for my case. By Christmas 2018 I hadn't seen my child for over 2 months. It was terrible but, little did I know, the abuse was only just beginning. Despite a solicitors letter my abuser wouldn't allow even a moment with our child. Are abusers oblivious to the heartbreak that causes or do they revel in it?
I am no expert in the ideas in this episode but I have tried many of them and found they help. This episode is just a quick surface run through which may provide you a springboard to try them or find out more by searching the internet or Youtube.
Whether you are seeing your children or not, have a good Christmas. The system is broken and causes harm to us and the children but change will come in time. Parts of the world are improving so there is hope. Above all stay strong for your children.
Many listeners are suffering alienation because a co-parent has taken their children. Others are going through divorce and suffering stress and an uncertain outcome. Many are suffering psychological abuse. If you are still living with your co-parent and are suffering physical abuse seek immediate help.
If your life is in danger through physical or psychological abuse, assault or suicide please contact support services whether it is the police or suicide prevention charities. Do what you can. Look after yourself for your children.
Links to the personal development leaders mentioned:
https://www.tonyrobbins.com
https://www.jimrohn.com
https://www.naphill.org
https://www.josephmcclendon.com
https://www.melrobbins.com -
Episode 60 is a look back at episodes 51 to 59. Thanks to all the fantastic guests and listeners. The podcast is nothing without you.
As I often say, if someone wants to take over presenting this podcast let me know and I will be glad to go back behind the scenes.
This episode is a compilation of clips but is not exactly a ‘best of’ as that would differ from listener to listener. The episode is for regular listeners and also a taster for people new to the podcast. It covers these episodes:
Episode 51 - Authorities: How They Fail Us In Life And Court
Episode 52 - Story: Dave Bond’s Astonishing Family Court Journey (Part 1)
Episode 53 - Story: Dave Bond’s Astonishing Family Court Journey (Part 2)
Episode 54 - Replay: Books - Anna Maria DiDio Discusses Adoption
Episode 55 - Replay: Meditation - Orsi Discusses Using Meditation And Yoga To Help Cope
Episode 56 - Replay: Coalition - Mike Bell of FCRC.uk Discusses Reform
Episode 57 - Censorship - Some People Want To Cancel This Podcast
Episode 58 - Replay: Trauma - Jodee Gibson MA PCC Discusses Trauma and Coping
Episode 59 - Positive: A Wide Ranging Discussion with Professor Ben Hine
Many thanks to everyone who took part and listened. Here's to the next 10 episodes.
Please note (December 2024): My Twitter X page now has a donation icon in the profile. If you would like to help with my struggle, legal costs and podcast you can use it to donate. At the moment it only works with crypto but I will add other methods in time. All contributions of any size are gratefully received. Thank you.
The sound effects used are:
https://pixabay.com/users/cristian_changing-30278997
https://pixabay.com/users/muzaproduction-24990238 -
Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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Today our guest is Professor Ben Hine PhD, CPsychol, FHEA
Ben is a psychologist and Professor of Applied Psychology and Head of the School of Human and Social Sciences at the University of West London.
He is a Chartered Psychologist with the British Psychological Society and has a BSc in Psychology and a PhD from Royal Holloway, University of London.
He has published numerous articles in peer-reviewed journals on these topics and has presented his research at conferences around the world. He is a Fellow of the Higher Education Academy and has won several awards for his teaching and contributions to the field of psychology.
His work has explored topics such as implicit bias, prejudice, and discrimination.
He has published numerous articles in top-tier academic journals, including the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, and the European Journal of Social Psychology.
In addition to his research, Professor Hine is also an accomplished teacher and mentor. He has won several awards for his teaching, including the Vice Chancellor's Teaching Excellence Award at the University of Winchester.
His research is wide ranging, including a focus on gender within the criminal justice system and includes two large-scale projects assessing police officers' beliefs and judgements, and rape case reviews in collaboration with the Mayor's Office for Policing and Crime (MOPAC). He has also worked in collaboration with charities Safelives and The Mankind Initiative to conduct large scale case reviews to illuminate the needs of domestic violence victims.
He now leads the Evidence-Based Domestic Abuse Research Network (EBDARN) bringing together researchers from several UK institutions to deliver this work.
He has also researched the impact of family breakdown and experience with institutions such as the family court.
He is a co-founder of the Men and Boys coalition, a network of organisations, academics, journalists, professionals, and leaders committed to highlighting and acting on the gender-specific issues that affect men and boys such as the high male suicide rate, the boy’s educational crisis, and fatherhood.
He also acts as a trustee to The Mankind Initiative, and within the School of Human and Social Sciences, he acts as the Lead for Research and Enterprise.
In this wide ranging discussion Ben discusses Shared Parenting, Family Court and change initiatives and much more.
Links
Twitter/X - https://x.com/ProfHine
Ben’s page at the University of West London website - https://www.uwl.ac.uk/staff/ben-hine
Tedx Talk - How Can We Separate Better - https://drbenhine.co.uk/tedx-talk-how-can-we-separate-better/
Book - Parental Alienation: A Contemporary Guide for Parents, Practitioners, and Policymakers -
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Parental-Alienation-Contemporary-Practitioners-Policymakers/dp/B0C9KMYD27 -
This is an episode from the Replay series in which we look back at past episodes for those new to the podcast.
Today we look back at my discussion with Jodee Gibson about trauma and coping, which was originally published on 22nd January 2023.
It’s a really good episode, thanks to Jodee, who is a human behaviour expert and master coach.
Jodee is based in Michigan. Her work is deeply layered in developmental psychology, NLP, neuroscience, consciousness, trauma, levels of energy and intention. The intersection she created between these is fascinating. Being a Detroit native, her approach is always practical and conversational.
Jodee coaches and speaks worldwide.
Jodee's book "Healing Your Map: A Guide to Understanding Discernment, Trauma and Human Behavior" is available now (https://a.co/d/eix3SkT) with an audiobook available early 2023.
Many parents suffer trauma through alienation, false allegations and the Family Court system. We discuss this and some methods for coping including NLP, the work of both Richard Bandler and Tony Robbins, Jodee's ideas and her book.
Some of Jodee’s Qualifications
Master's Degree in Organizational Leadership
Licensed NLP Trainer • The Society of NLP
Certified Hypnotherapist
Certified Professional Coach (iPEC)
Professional Certified Coach (ICF)
Certified Trauma & Resilience Practitioner • Starr
Trauma-Certified Practitioner • HeartMath
ELI Master Practitioner (iPEC)
COR.E Dynamics Leadership Specialist
ICF Michigan Executive Board Member
Former ICF Michigan President
Jodee’s links
Website: https://www.jodeegibson.coach/about
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodeegibson/
Her Book: https://a.co/d/eix3SkT
Short video on NLP: https://www.jodeegibson.coach/what-is-nlp -
I discuss a recent episode I recorded and attempts by some people to cancel it afterwards. I also cover my abuser's demand to cancel all episodes as well as my X account, book and documentary. Finally I mention some of the recent events happening more widely around censorship that are happening to many others.
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This is an episode from the Replay series in which we look back at past episodes for those new to the podcast.
Today we look back at my discussion with Mike Bell of the Family Court Reform Coalition (FCRC), which was originally published as episode 11, on 27th November 2022.
Many people, including judges and MPs, have described flaws in the family law system. The flaws seem well known but they persist and harm parents and children.
Mike brought some people together to produce a report of solid proposals suggesting ways to reform to the system.
In a short space of time the report has been seen by MPs, Sir Andrew McFarlane, Sir Graham Brady and has been sent to the Minister of Justice and the new Home Secretary, Suella Braverman.
We talk about this work, the aims and hopes for the future. We also explore how other people can get involved.
The report can be read here: https://fcrc.uk/final-report
It can be endorsed here: https://fcrc.uk/support-fcrc
The report can also be shared and forwarded to MPs, Lords and people in the system to help change.
Mike’s Links:
https://fcrc.uk
https://twitter.com/FCRCUK
https://equi-law.uk
https://twitter.com/GenderParityUK -
This is an episode from the Replay series in which we look back at past episodes for those new to the podcast.
Today we look back at my discussion with Orsi, which was originally published on 5th February 2023.
We discuss how meditation and yoga can help cope. Methods for coping with trauma are vital when going through alienation, family court or other stress. Orsi has great practical advice which is why this episode was picked to air again.
It originally aired as episode 12, way back on 5th February 2023. Here are the show notes from that show:
Today we talk with Orsi, a meditation and yoga teacher about using them to help cope with trauma.
There is lots of content out there but I want to discuss meditation and yoga in the context of parents going through hell and how it can help. Some parents may not have considered meditation due to lack of time or stress so, for our listeners, I wanted to raise it as a tool to try.
The family court is brutal for parents and children. It shouldn’t be but it is.
Children and parents can be in limbo for years and suffer alienation. Parents can also suffer false allegations and financial hardship. Servere trauma can result.
One thing I want the podcast to look at is ways to cope. We need ways to cope because family law is a long way from perfect and legal professionals can be detached from empathy and understanding.
There are many tools we can use and today we look at meditation and yoga.
Both are used increasingly these days. Many top people use meditation for business, sport and wellness. We need to try and stay well throughout the court process or while being abused so this episode is in the context of using these tools to help parents cope.
Orsi discusses also discusses how meditation and yoga can help children, whether they are stressed by court or just to help with life in general. Meditation and yoga can help in so many situations.
Orsi’s links are:
Website: https://femininetothrive.co.uk
Youtube yoga and meditations: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLHo4kISYHjzR8qMstfdOI6ZnFuS64QqOg -
This is an episode from the Replay series in which we look back at past episodes for those new to the podcast.
Today we look back at my discussion with Anna Maria DiDio, originally published on 23rd June 2023.
Anna Maria lives in Philadelphia. She holds a BA in Psychology from Villanova University and an MSW in Family Specialization from the University of Pennsylvania.
For over twenty years, she has devoted time to non-profit organizations, locally and globally. She has served as President of Women International Leaders (WIL) of Greater Philadelphia, which provides micro-finance loans and empowerment grants to women in under-resourced countries. She is also on the board of Impact100 Philly.
Her parenting journey began with infertility struggles, which were isolating and sent her into depression. After two miscarriages, she was blessed with a baby girl, but adding to her family proved impossible.
That's how she found herself at an orphanage in Mexico, to meet a six-year-old girl who she adopted. Inspired by that journey, she wrote a memoir called Love at the Border, An Adoption Adventure.
Traditionally orphanages are portrayed negatively however Anna Maria speaks warmly of her experience in Mexico and of the Ministerios de Amor shelters which have changed the way Mexico cares for children.
She has also written the ‘L.I.F.E. Adventures’ series of children's books, featuring stories about adoption and foster care. The books cover topics such as trauma, attachment, identity, and grief. Anna Maria’s mission is for parents and educators to use these stories as an effective tool to open up the discussion about adoption, foster care and the love within blended families.
Anna Maria’s Links
Website - https://AMDiDio.com
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/anna.m.didio
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/amdidio
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/annamariadidio
Book 'Love at the Border: An Adoption Adventure' - https://www.amazon.com/dp/1737703505
Book 'How I Wonder Where You Are' - https://www.amazon.com/dp/1737703521
Book 'Many People to Love' - https://www.amazon.com/dp/1737703513
Twitter - https://twitter.com/amdidio
Impact 100 Philly - https://impact100philly.org -
Today we talk with Dave Bond who, by any measure, has had an astonishing time in the family courts of the UK and USA.
It’s an incredible journey and one that no good parent and child should have to go through.
Dave has a crowdfunding effort (link below) and he is writing a book. Personally, I think his story would make a good film. What has happened is astonishing.
It's a long conversation so it’s being published in 2 parts. Part 2 is today and part 1 was last time.
Links
There is lots of information at Dave's Linktree: https://linktr.ee/justice4keanu
Twitter: @Justice4Keanu
Crowdfunding - https://www.gofundme.com/f/justice4keanuPetition - https://www.change.org/p/justice-for-keanu-end-forced-adoption-demand-reunification-of-father-and-son -
Today we talk with Dave Bond who, by any measure, has had an astonishing time in the family courts of the UK and USA.
Dave has a crowdfunding effort (link below) and he is writing a book. Personally, I think his story would make a good film. What has happened is astonishing.
It's a long conversation so it’s being published in 2 parts, with part 1 today and part 2 next time.
Links
There is lots of information at Dave's Linktree: https://linktr.ee/justice4keanu
Twitter: @Justice4Keanu
Crowdfunding - https://www.gofundme.com/f/justice4keanuPetition - https://www.change.org/p/justice-for-keanu-end-forced-adoption-demand-reunification-of-father-and-son -
Today I look at a few recent examples of many at how authorities fail the public. This may put in context part of why Family Court is so bad.
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Episode 50 is a look back at episodes 41 to 49. Thanks to all the fantastic guests and listeners. The podcast would be nothing without you.
As I often say, if someone wants to take over presenting this podcast let me know and I will be glad to go back behind the scenes.
This episode is a compilation of episode clips rather than a ‘best of’ clips as that is individual choice. It is for regular listeners and also a taster for people new to the podcast. It covers these episodes:
Episode 41 - Change: Britain’s NHS Bans Blockers
Episode 42 - Protests: Outcry At The Garrick Club
Episode 43 - Replay: Dr. Marni Hill Foderaro Discusses Alienation
Episode 44 - Fallible: Do We Expect Too Much From Experts?
Episode 45 - Paternity: Test Issues for Mums, Dads and Children
Episode 46 - Documentaries: Telling Your Story
Episode 47 - Replay: Inception - Derick McDuff on Parenting and Child Separation in the Movies
Episode 48 - Replay: Interstellar - Derick McDuff on Parenting and Child Separation in the Movies
Episode 49 - Accountability: Is There Any In Family Law?
Many thanks to everyone who took part and listened. Here's to the next 10 episodes.
The sound effects used are:
https://pixabay.com/users/cristian_changing-30278997
https://pixabay.com/users/muzaproduction-24990238 -
Many of us have ours and our children’s futures decided by the family law system, not just courts but other decision makers i.e. guardians, child solicitors, social workers, etc.
In practise none of them are really accountable for bad outcomes and there is no measuring of outcomes. These are 2 serious flaws I discuss that in this episode. -
This is an episode from the Replay series in which we look back at past episodes for those new to the podcast.
Today we look back at episode 5 which originally aired on 30th October 2022.
It was the second episode discussing parenting in Christopher Nolan films with @DerickMcduff from the Underrated podcast (@undercastco).
This was a meandering hoot with lots of offshoots! We discuss @Interstellar and also talk music: @Trevor_Horn_, Steve Lipson and @HansZimmer. We also discuss @mrbobodenkirk, @BetterCallSaul and other movies and TV shows.
It was very enjoyable talking with Derick about parenting themes in Christopher Nolan films. I hope you enjoy listening!
Two quick corrections to things I said in this episode:
1. I mentioned Steve Lipson produced Hans Zimmer’s James Bond soundtrack. He co-produced the theme song, not the soundtrack, but Steve Lipson has produced other Hans Zimmer soundtracks.
2. When discussing Hans Zimmer I remembered his Top of the Pops performance incorrectly. If you search on YouTube, he was performing Living in the Plastic Age not Video Killed the Radio Star, although he does appear in the music video for Video Killed The Radio Star briefly. See if you can spot him!
One warning: if you haven’t seen the movies mentioned, this episode may contain spoilers!
Derick’s links are:
Twitter: @DerickMcduff
https://linktr.ee/derickmcduff
https://letterboxd.com/derick89
https://www.instagram.com/dericks_photos
The Underrated podcast:
Twitter @undercastco
https://linktr.ee/Undercastcompany
The original episode aired on 30th October 2022 as episode 5:
https://audioboom.com/posts/8175651-interstellar-derick-mcduff-on-parenting-and-child-separation-in-the-movies
There is a companion episode which looks at another Christopher Nolan movie, Interstellar, as well as lots of other films and music. It is episode 5:
https://audioboom.com/posts/8162825-inception-derick-mcduff-on-parenting-and-child-separation-in-the-movies -
This is an episode from the Replay series in which we look back at past episodes for those new to the podcast.
Today we look back at my discussion with Derick McDuff about parenting and child separation in the movies, which much of the talk about Christopher Nolan’s film Inception. We also cover other movies and music. This originally aired as episode 3, way back on 2nd October 2022. If you like today's episode you may also like episode 5 which covered the movie Interstellar (link below).
In this episode we talk movies with Derick McDuff from the Underrated podcast. We discuss Inception as well as E.T., A.I., Minority Report and more.
You may be wondering why we are talking movies on a parenting podcast. In some episodes I want to discuss parenting and parental alienation themes in movies, books and music.
Art is one of the most beautiful and powerful things in life and revisiting art can help us get through the dark times of abuse and parental alienation.
Over 2 episodes we discuss 2 Christopher Nolan films. In this episode we talk @Inception and the next episode will cover @Interstellar.
This episode we also discuss parenting themes in Steven Spielberg’s movies E.T., A.I. and @TomCruise’s role in Minority Report. Finally we touch on @HansZimmer’s music and Groundhog Day. It’s a packed episode!
I had a lot of fun discussing these movies and it was great to get Derick’s insights.
There are many parental themes in these movies. More than you may think!
One warning: if you haven’t seen the movies mentioned, this episode may contain spoilers!
Derick’s links are:
https://twitter.com/derickmcduff
https://linktr.ee/derickmcduff
https://letterboxd.com/derick89
https://www.instagram.com/dericks_photos
The Underrated podcast:
https://twitter.com/undercastco
https://linktr.ee/Undercastcompany
The Fair Parenting Podcast:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/FairParentingUK
Email: [email protected]
The original episode aired on 2nd October 2022 as episode 3:
https://audioboom.com/posts/8162825-inception-derick-mcduff-on-parenting-and-child-separation-in-the-movies
There is a companion episode which looks at another Christopher Nolan movie, Interstellar, as well as lots of other films and music. It is episode 5:
https://audioboom.com/posts/8175651-interstellar-derick-mcduff-on-parenting-and-child-separation-in-the-movies -
I have been approached by someone from a documentary maker about my story.
I am deciding whether to take part but I am often contacted by parents who want to get their stories out and there are pros and cons to doing so, hence this episode.
If any listeners want me to pass on your details, DM or email me and I will.
Links
Episode 14 - https://audioboom.com/posts/8234043-stories-telling-your-story -
In the light of a recent news story, I look at paternity testing and whether dads should be able to get a test outside of court proceedings.
Some people might see this as an issue for men but it is wider. I discuss how testing has issues for mums, dads and children, including how paternity tests can improve health outcomes for children.
Links
I mention a recent video from a judge which went viral. Here is one of many links to it: https://twitter.com/VetFather_Bill/status/1758955451167723961 -
This episode I look at the word ‘expert’, not so much to do with court as more widely in society.
In many areas of life, experts affect us and sometimes spectacularly let us down. I look at some examples.
We need experts but there are few people who really know what they are doing well enough to advise the way experts do and I think we need to be realistic about experts and the word itself. Perhaps it's time for a rebalancing of how experts are perceived across all fields and industries.
I think the term ‘expert’ is overused and overvalued and should be viewed as what it often is - an educated guess that often comes without accountability. I discuss this and look at examples. -
Occasionally I want to look back at past episodes for those new to the podcast. Today is one such episode. I wanted to revisit my discussion with Dr. Marni Hill Foderaro from episode 8. I hope you enjoy listening to it.
It's one of my favourite episodes and even before today (April 14th 2024) is already the 8th most popular episode ever.
It was a wide-ranging and interesting discussion with Dr. Marni who was a fantastic guest. I enjoyed talking with her a lot. Here are the show notes from the episode:
In this episode we welcome Dr Marni Hill Foderaro and talk about her alienation story, path to growth and book series “True Deceit False Love” which addresses domestic violence, narcissistic abuse, parental alienation and intergenerational family trauma.
Dr Marni earned her doctorate in education from Northern Illinois University and completed postdoctoral studies at Harvard during a very successful and rewarding 35-year career as a high school special education teacher, with 12 years as a university adjunct graduate school professor.
Many alienation cases involve young children but Dr Marni’s children were in their 20s when alienation occurred and we discuss this.
Her books provide a creative response and resources to help understand a variety of challenging family dynamics, including parental alienation.
Dr Marni gives talks on these topics and in January 2022 Marni was inducted into the Bestselling Authors International Organization.
I enjoyed greatly talking with Dr Marni. I found it illuminating to hear her inspirational story of self-care, her journey out of trauma and into book writing as well as her insights on healing, generational trauma and alienation.
Links
Dr Marni isn’t on social media but her web links are:
Website: https://www.GodCameToMyGarageSale.com
Books: https://www.amazon.com/author/drmarnihillfoderaro
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnhsXs98ops
The original episode aired as episode 8 on 11th December 2022:
https://audioboom.com/posts/8175647-books-dr-marni-hill-foderaro-discusses-alienation -
In this episode I discuss lawyers and MPs protesting about The Garrick Club and how this relates to family law.
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