Afleveringen
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In this one, James Lark returns to discuss Chapters 15 thru 19 of The Amulet of Samarkand by Jonathan Stroud. In these chapters, Bartimaeus gets in over his head. Nathaniel feels trapped.
Please join our Discord server and get to know the fam!
https://discord.gg/vtJnpkhd
Possible Show Titles
It's a Mid Bridge
An Amorous Pidgeon
Lark's Tongue
Mango Chutney Territory
Vegetable Teacher
One of the Good Ones
Jeff's podcasts
Shattered Worlds RPG
Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?
Omniversal Escapades (Jeffâs livestreaming RPG show)
James Lark (composer, podcaster) wrote the theme song for the show Licensed for show use, copyright 2024
Hereâs James website for all his activities:
jameslark.co.uk
Social Media
Jeff Richardson
@eljefetacoma on Facebook, Bluesky, Instagram, and Mastodon
James Lark
@worksoflark on Instagram and @jameslark on Twitter
Recommendations
The Substance
Who Back When: A Doctor Who Podcast
Adam Richard Has a Theory
Severance
Anti-Recommendation
Section 31
Links
Doctor Who
"Joy to the World"
Michaelmas
Autumn or Fall?
Sword of Damocles
Luke Skywalker
Steve Martin
Only Murders in the Building
Who's Who
Guiness World Records
Wisden's Cricketer's Almanack
World Book Encyclopedia
The State of the Union
State Opening of Parliament
Blackfriars Bridge
Tasmanian Devil
Larks' tongues
Picadilly Circus
Jermyn Street
Duke Street
Fortnum and Mason
Harrods
Gummi Bears
Nefertiti
A Tale of Two Cities
Boston Tea Party
Boston Massacre
Autons
Mondasian cybermen
Odo from Deep Space 9
Nutella
Tim Burton dresses
Samarkand
Cocaine in Parliament report
Beer Hall Putsch
Bean Dad
The Fly
Malcolm Hulke
"The Doctor's Daughter"
"Planet of the Daleks"
Russel T Davies
David Tennant
-
In this one, Jeff goes to the Doctor Who convention, Gallifrey One in Los Angeles, California!
Jeff's podcasts
Shattered Worlds RPG
Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?
Omniversal Escapades (Jeffâs livestreaming RPG show)
James Lark (composer, podcaster) wrote the theme song for the show Licensed for show use, copyright 2024
Hereâs James website for all his activities:
jameslark.co.uk
Social Media
Jeff Richardson
@eljefetacoma on Facebook, Bluesky, Instagram, and Mastodon
-
Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
-
In this episode, Jayme returns to discuss John Carpenter's In the Mouth of Madness starring Sam Neill.
Please join our Discord server and get to know the fam!
https://discord.gg/vtJnpkhd
Possible Show Titles
Jayme 2
Double Dream
Just Be a Quatto
Evil Cathedral
My Heebies are Jeebed Enough!
The Death of the Author
Swings Down the Ass
Jeff's podcasts
Shattered Worlds RPG
Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?
Omniversal Escapades (Jeffâs livestreaming RPG show)
James Lark (composer, podcaster) wrote the theme song for the show Licensed for show use, copyright 2024
Hereâs James website for all his activities:
jameslark.co.uk
Recommendations
The Thing
They Live
Needful Things
Legend of the Condor Heroes
Social Media
Jeff Richardson
@eljefetacoma on Facebook, Bluesky, Instagram, and Mastodon
Jayme Antrim
Brandoff Offbrand on Facebookinks
The Mangler
Jurassic Park
Omen 3: The Final Conflict
James Bond
Stephen King
Cast a Deadly Spell
Angelheart
Call of Cthulhu
The Apocalypse Trilogy
Prince of Darkness
Wing Commander
House of the Dead (film)
Dreamcast
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me
The Seventh Sign
Beverly Hills Cop 2
Demi Moore
Dune (Lynch)
Das Boot
Scrooged
Payback
Gremlins 2: The New Batch
The Carpenters
The Addams Family
The Lawnmower Man
Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare
H.P. Lovecraft
Halloween
The Sixth Sense
An American Werewolf in Paris
The Ring
Michael Wayland
Event Horizon
Happy Gilmore
https://ghostbusters.fandom.com/wiki/Vigo
Clippy
Voldemort
that guy named Quill?
Entertainment Tonight
Kuato
Will Ferrell Emma Thompson movie
Germ theory
Dan Harmon
Rick and Morty
The Hollow Earth Theory
The Dark Tower
Large Marge
Mystery Science Theater 3000
The Robot Monster
9:17
Ridiculously Photogenic Jogger
Canadian bus attack
Evil Dead 2
Army of Darkness
Friday the 13th
Banshee Chapter
Lord of Illusions
House of Leaves
Southern Reach Series
Akira
Fallout
Semiosis
Conan
Warlord
Big Trouble in Little China
Daniel York Loh on Everything is Awesome
Enter the Dragon
Sesame Street
-
In these chapters, Miles and Gregor meet some very dangerous people. Jeff and Sofia have a ton of tangents but it sure ain't cuz these chapters are boring! Is this our longest ep to date?
Possible Show Titles
I Forbid It
Tonguewrangler
Two Separate Hats
Jeff's podcasts
Shattered Worlds RPG
Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?
Omniversal Escapades (Jeffâs livestreaming RPG show)
James Lark (composer, podcaster) wrote the theme song for the show Licensed for show use, copyright 2024
Hereâs James website for all his activities:
jameslark.co.uk
Recommendations
The Peace War
A Lot Like Christmas
Unspoiled!
Spoil Me
Social Media
Jeff Richardson
@eljefetacoma on Facebook, Bluesky, Instagram, and Mastodon
Links
Deism
Culture Series
Garfield alarm clock
Em Dash
Red Rising Saga
Artemis Fowl
The Prisoner's Dilemma
Patton
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18423.The_Left_Hand_of_Darkness
Murderbot
Ann Leckie
Neopronouns
A Song of Ice and Fire
Batman Returns
Game of Thrones
James Bond
Ethan of Athos
Ghost Story
Deep Blue Sea
The Stand
A Deepness in the Sky
Connie Willis
Bellwether
Blackout/All Clear
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Mistborn
The Lost Metal
Lucid City
R'lyehwatch
-
In this episode, Jeff is joined by author Kris M Smith to discuss his book, DeForest Kelley: Up Close and Personal. The conversation ranges far and wide from topics as diverse as animal rights, transgender issues, caring for terminal loved ones, and Star Trek's beloved Dr McCoy, DeForest Kelley!
Contact Info for Kris M Smith
KrisMSmith in Tacoma on Facebook
email: [email protected]
Jeff's podcasts
Shattered Worlds RPG
Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?
Omniversal Escapades (Jeffâs livestreaming RPG show)
James Lark (composer, podcaster) wrote the theme song for the show Licensed for show use, copyright 2024
Hereâs James website for all his activities:
jameslark.co.uk
Possible Show Titles
Literally Shakin' in My Boots
The Warriors and the Peacemakers
A Ritual of Love
A Total Earthling on the Enterprise
A Fan's Fantasy
The Reel McCoy
The Best Boss I Ever Had
Recommendations
Lakewood Playhouse
Robert Reich
Inequality Media
Heather Cox-Richardson
King's Books in Tacoma
Bookshop.org
Libro.fm
Links
Roy Rogers
Star Trek: The Motion Picture
Dave Barry
Asimov
James Blish
Brad Barry
Ursula K LeGuin
Lucy and Desi
Dick Van Dyke
the salt monster
the horta
Harlan Ellison
City on the Edge of Forever
Star Trek: The Next Generation
Gene Roddenberry
Wagon Train
Joseph Campbell
Yaysayers and Good Guides
Leon Uris
James Michener
The Waltons
Star Trek: Discovery
African serval
DeForest Kelley: Up Close and Personal
the one where the shuttle is underpowered
From Sawdust to Stardust
TOS: "The Empath"
TOS: "City on the Edge of Forever"
TOS: "For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky"
TOS: "Bread and Circuses"
Apache Uprising
The Law and Jake Wade
Warlock
The Virginian: "Man of Violence"
Bonanza: "The Honor of Cochise"
"The Decision"
Star Trek: TNG "Encounter at Farpoint"
TOS: "The Mantrap"
John Hoyt
Midday Colorado (tv show?)
Paul Winfield
TV Guide
Gunfight at the OK Corral
Hollywood Walk of Fame
A.C. Lyles
Ron Hawk
Lorraine Day
Raintree County
Lee Marvin
Clark Gable
Elizabeth Taylor
2:00:00 - trans talk
Intersex
Womb Man
Gender Justice League
Rainbow Center in Tacoma
The Actor's Prayer
Leonard Nimoy
George Takei
Kelley Phone Tag
The Enduring Legacy of DeForest Kelley
Ted Trail's Apetalk and Whalespeak
Animal Protection Institute
Lakewood Playhouse
Robert Reich
Inequality Media
Heather Cox-Richardson
The Diary of Anne Frank
The Miracle
Fiddler on the Roof
-
Dave and Jeff welcome Rhianna and Ashlyn of The Duras Sisters Podcast to discuss Season 1, Episode 3 of Star Trek: Lower Decks. It's called Temporal Edict and it's a blast! We have a long and fruitful discussion that ranges from the Prime Directive to Mistborn and everything between!
Favorite References
Everyone: Chief Miles Edward OâBrien
Possible Show Titles
Podcasting!
I'm Not Bragging, I'm Just Musing
Please join our Discord server and get to know the whole podcasting family!
https://discord.gg/vtJnpkhd
Jeff's podcasts
Shattered Worlds RPG
Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?
Omniversal Escapades (Jeffâs livestreaming RPG show)
James Lark (composer, podcaster) wrote the theme song for the show Licensed for show use, copyright 2024
Hereâs James website for all his activities:
jameslark.co.uk
Recommendations
Brandon Sanderson's Cosmere
Wind and Truth
The Message by Ta-Nehisi Coates
Starship Tempest
Star Trek Adventures
DeForest Kelley: Up Close and Personal
Social Media
Jeff Richardson
@eljefetacoma on Facebook, Bluesky, Instagram, and Mastodon
The Duras Sisters Podcast
@thedurassisterspodcast on Instagram, Threads, and Bluesky
Links
Prime Directive
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Star Trek: The Original Series
Star Trek: Voyager
The Greatest Generation
How I Met Your Mother
DeForest Kelley
The Grinder
Star Trek: Prodigy
The Venture Bros.
Firefly
Quantum Leap (2022)
Piranesi
Susanna Clarke
Doctor Strange & Mr Norrell
The Thing
The Thing (2011)
The Thing boardgame
The Thing video game
Who Goes There?
Parks and Recreation
Memory Alpha
Tasha Yar's sister
Section 31
Traitors
Star Trek: Discovery
Shattered Worlds RPG
The Office
The Twilight Zone
M*A*S*H
Andy Griffith
The Silence of the Lambs
Sherlock Holmes
Star Trek: Shattered Universe
Young Han Solo
Harrison Ford
Percy Jackson
Young James Bond
Doctor Who
Akira
Star Trek: The Motion Picture
Star Trek (2009)
Ghost in the Shell
Battle Angel Alita
Dropout: Dirty Laundry with Lower Decks cast
Star Trek: The Next Generation
TNG "The Host"
TERFs
Irish Unification in 2024
The Boys
Master of None
Mission: Chicago
Rick & Morty
The Lion King
TNG "Redemption, Part 1 and 2"
Star Trek "Relics"
The Boondock Saints
Star Trek "The Trouble With Tribbles"
Star Trek: Voyager "Remember"
Star Trek: Discovery "Kobayashi Maru"
Star Trek Beyond
Doctor Who "Frontier in Space"
Star Trek: The Next Generation "Sub Rosa"
Mistborn
The Lost Metal
From Sawdust to Stardust
Star Trek "Spectre of the Gun" and "Shore Leave"
Everything is Awesome Podcast
Gallifrey One
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds
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In this episode, Sofia B returns to talk about chapters 10 and 11 of Lois McMaster Bujold's science fiction masterpiece, The Vor Game, featuring our favorite young hero, Miles Vorkosigan!
Possible Show Titles
Maximum Friction
Tongue-Slashing Gloves
Bahbla
Jeff's podcasts
Shattered Worlds RPG
Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?
Omniversal Escapades (Jeffâs livestreaming RPG show)
James Lark (composer, podcaster) wrote the theme song for the show Licensed for show use, copyright 2024
Hereâs James website for all his activities:
jameslark.co.uk
Recommendations
City of Girls
What We Do in the Shadows
Who Back When: A Doctor Who Podcast
Social Media
Jeff Richardson
@eljefetacoma on Facebook, Bluesky, Instagram, and Mastadon
Links
Halliburton electrocutions in Iraq
Jeff Bezos's penis rocket
The Dollop episode about the hydroplane guy
Altered Carbon
Top Secret
Airplane!
The Simpsons
can you talk without a tongue?
Flowbee
A Song of Ice and Fire
Game of Thrones
-
In this episode, Sofia B returns to talk about chapters 8 and 9 of Lois McMaster Bujold's science fiction masterpiece, The Vor Game, featuring our favorite young hero, Miles Vorkosigan!
Possible Show Titles
Ghost Narrator
Jeff's podcasts
Shattered Worlds RPG
Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?
Omniversal Escapades (Jeffâs livestreaming RPG show)
James Lark (composer, podcaster) wrote the theme song for the show Licensed for show use, copyright 2024
Hereâs James website for all his activities:
jameslark.co.uk
Recommendations
The Bean Trees
Star Trek: Lower Decks
Links
Star Trek
The Dresden Files
James Bond
Altered Carbon
-
Here's part two of our wide-ranging discussion with Lois McMaster Bujold, author of the Vorkosigan Saga and the Five Gods series!
Possible show titles
Emo Gregor
Recommendations
The Untamed
Xianxia
Hotel Del Luna
Mushi-Shi
A Hero Born
Fallout (TV show)
The Doctor's Watcher podcast
Classic Doctor Who on Britbox
Jeff's podcasts
Shattered Worlds RPG
Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?
Omniversal Escapades (Jeffâs livestreaming RPG show)
James Lark (composer, podcaster) wrote the theme song for the show Licensed for show use, copyright 2024
Hereâs James website for all his activities:
jameslark.co.uk
Links
Hiroshima and Nagisaki
polygraph tester who used his system on plants
Doctor Who episode: "The Giggle"
Poul Anderson
Fred Pohl
Harlan Ellison
Jo Walton
Among Others
Sylvia Kelso
SIFF/Nebula
Mary Robinette Kowal
The Calculating Stars
Shades of Milk and Honey
Sorcery and Cecilia: or The Enchanted Cooking Pot
Caroline Stevermer
Death of the Author
Bujold's Goodreads blog
Stephen King vs The Shining
Soleil's The Warrior's Apprentice
Vorkosigan Saga GURPS Sourcebook
Steve Jackson Games
Car Wars
Illuminati: The Game of Conspiracy
Sherlock Holmes
Horatio Hornblower
Lord of the Rings
James H Schmitz - Telzey Amberdon
Cordwainer Smith - worlds of the Instrumentality
CJ Cherryh
Gate of Ivrel
The Dark Tower
The Rise of Skywalker
Diplomatic Immunity
Captain Vorpatril's Alliance
Gentleman Jole and the Red Queen
uterine replicators
Brave New World
Japanese guy busted for hiring multiple surrogate mothers
Swedish childrens' rights to access their biological parents
Isaac Asimov
the Amazon island trope
bioweapons
the Haut (pronounced hawt)
-
Legendary SF author, Lois McMaster Bujold, joins Sofia and Jeff to cover all manner of fascinating subjects, including the Vorkosigan Saga and the Five Gods series. You won't be disappointed! Stay tuned for Part 2!
Jeff's podcasts
Shattered Worlds RPG
Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?
Omniversal Escapades (Jeffâs livestreaming RPG show)
James Lark (composer, podcaster) wrote the theme song for the show Licensed for show use, copyright 2024
Hereâs James website for all his activities:
jameslark.co.uk
Possible show titles
Emo Gregor
Links
The Wonderful Flight to the Mushroom Planet
Robert Heinlein juveniles
Star Trek
Forbidden Planet
The Vor Game
The Greatest Generation
Doctor Who
The Incomparable
Shards of Honor
The Warrior's Apprentice
tight third-person
Pat Wrede "writers get different things for free"
carbon copies
Alexandre Dumas
Ethan of Athos
Lillian Stewart Carl
Dreamweaver's Dilemma
Proto Zoa
Coleco Adam
Worldcon
Betsy Mitchell
Baen Books
Patrick Nielsen Hayden
Analog Magazine
Hugo Awards
The Whole Man
The Ship Who Sang
Falling Free
Barrayar
Borders of Infinity
Brothers in Arms
Toni Weisskopf
On Strategy: The Vietnam War in Context
Roman story about Christian martyrs frozen on a lake
Ender's Game
Prisoner's Dilemma
Ron Miller
Spockinalia
John Ayotte
in medias res
-
In this episode, James Lark returns to discuss chapters 11 thru 14 of Jonathan Stroud's fantasy masterpiece, The Amulet of Samarkand. In these chapters, we discuss Peter Rabbit, Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle, being handcuffed to your enemy, the election of popes, and more!
Please join our Discord server and get to know the fam!
https://discord.gg/vtJnpkhd
Recommendations
Conclave (2024)
Blue Velvet
Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (2016)
Citadel Diana
Possible Show TitlesA Noble Entity From Another Place
Unwillingly Entwined
Suppress the Fanboy
Obscene and Fetid and Fug
Jeff's podcasts
Shattered Worlds RPG
Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?
Omniversal Escapades (Jeffâs livestreaming RPG show)
James's podcast
Neurotic Literature
James Lark (composer, podcaster) wrote the theme song for the show Licensed for show use, copyright 2024
Hereâs James website for all his activities:
jameslark.co.uk
Social Media
Jeff Richardson
@eljefetacoma on Facebook, Twitter, Bluesky, Instagram, and Mastadon
James Lark
@worksoflark on Instagram and @jameslark on Twitter
Links
"Resurrection of the Daleks" - Doctor Who
Joe Ford, podcaster extraordinaire
genius loci from Dresden Files
Mills and Boone romance novels
American Psycho
the real Gladstone and Disraeli
Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle
Nicholas Nickleby
The Jungle by Upton Sinclair
Hugo
The Avengers
Lois McMaster Bujold
Strictly Come Hamster
Gary Russell
election of a pope
Isabella Rossellini
Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (2016)
Peter Rabbit
Watership Down
Dirk Gently (2010)
Sherlock
Douglas Adams
Life, the Universe and Everything
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Doctor Who (TV movie)
"Web of Fear" - Doctor Who
Extended Notes
Chapter 11
B is impressed that N is framing his master
N denies it
B explains how unusual it is to target your own master, especially so early in your education
B explains how apprenticeship is meant to work
"Since the days of the Median Magi, students have always lived alone in their mentorsâ houseâone master to one pupil, conducting their lessons with secrecy and stealth. From ziggurat to pyramid, from sacred oak to skyscraper, thousands of years pass and things donât change."
B likes that the kid is so ambitious, willing to get his master killed
B hadnt heard of Underwood so he figured he was a lowlevel nobody. This suggests that B has been summoned in the past few decades (unless wizards have extra long lifespans)
"he had all the time-honored attributes that other humans associate with great and powerful magic: a mane of unkempt hair the color of tobacco ash, a long whitish beard that jutted outward like the prow of a ship, and a pair of particularly bristly eyebrows."
Martha is fully dressed and B is relieved. He must not like female nudity - that or hes not into older women
Underwood complains about the spider (B) to Martha
B goes to study, sees a pentacle on the door
B puts on a shield
the amulet sucks up the fire from the trap
he slips in and sees the study
he remarks that the security is pretty weak
he goes into the cabinet and is underwhelmed by the objects inside
he slides the amulet behind a bird token
B goes up stairs but stops when he sees Mrs U leading N down
N knows hes screwed because B is supposed to quietly stick near to him until summoned
U is so rude to N and his wife
B hears Nathaniels name!
B studies the boys appearance and manner
B capers to attract Ns attention
Underwood complains about the PM hanging with Makepeace, who writes misonformation into his plays
he thinks the PM should help the interior dept instead of socializing
U says N has done well enough to perform his first summoning
U thinks the boy is scared of summoning but its actually cuz N is tripping about B hearing his real name
the plan is to summon a natterjack impling or a mouler. B is unimpressed
Ns contact lenses have arrived
N hears a noise at the door
U disregards it
he wants N to bring a book of names
N clearly can tell B got his name
The boots were on the other eight feet now
Chapter 12
He complains about U not teaching him enough
he says how hes read all these books
N says its peaceful and he likes the statue. Who is it?
Its Gladstone!
he was a powerful PM
fought duel with Disraeli over a woman
he gets shirty about it and starts ranting about how good the govt is
she explains that some countries dont need magicians
he says she doesnt know anything because shes a commoner
she says commoners can be smart
he asks if she wanted to be a wizard
she says no and shes happy to be an art teacher
N is surprised she has other pupils
it makes me feel queasy
Mrs U blows in frantic
Apparently U wants him to meet some guests
Miss L thinks this is good news
U is daunted by the thought of meeting all these magicians
they dont look like magicians
N is underwhelmed
U is schmoozing
when he sees N he waves him over
meets three wizards
old tomato face
clammy doughboy
slickback big teeth aka simon lovelace
doughboy has a question
big teeth is super rude
N contradicts one of them
U sends him away
BT observes that hes not afraid of his elders
perhaps you dont think we're your betters?
N doesnt answer cuz hes confused
BT demands a quiz from N
U isnt protecting him at all
N answers all the questions right
Simon asks him about six words of direction
U objects because he shouldnt know that yet
N does it
men are impressed
SL says some rude shit and N claps back
calls him a sore loser
SL has demons attack the boy
everyone is staring at N
he looks to U who is mad at him instead of SL?
he leaves and goes upstairs
he runs into Mrs U
he asks her who the bigteeth guy is
she says its Simon Lovelace
repetition of You're capable of nothing. You're helpless. You're too weak to fight back
does James ever use this technique?
he goes to the workroom and grabs the box of mites
the party is breaking up, with wizards at the door.
N says the words and smashes the box with a hammer
the six mites go for the magicians
Simon bats his away
dough face falls down outside and gets a couple attacking his skin
old man barely reacts, sending his into the carpet, where Simon smashes it with his foot
U is shocked. He goes to doughface and deactivates the mites
N rushes to the schoolroom
Ms Lutyens is there
she realizes N is upset and goes to comfort him
SL uses magic to lift N into the air, tips him up butt first, and spanks him repeatedly until he loses all sense
hes stuck in his room for a month, punished severely. he hd no lessons and could only sit in his room and look out the window
he finds a pen and starts sketching the outside. then he begins intricately plotting his revenge
did you plot anything at age 10? seems unusual
Mrs U is forbidden from talking to him
when school starts again he learns that Ms Lutyens has been fired
chapter 13
he spends a lot of time in the garden, plotting revenge or reading books
he looks to the statue of Gladstone for inspiration, to keep his determination up
he plans to emulate Gladstone by punishing his enemies
N decides to come at Lovelace with sneakiness and trickery, not head on
N pretends to be reformed, wearing a meek and pliant mask
he controls his face just like a master liar/sociopath
he doesnt see U as his master anymore
Underwood not defending him made N lose all respect. A master should treat an apprentice like their child
why didnt U protect him? because hes a coward afraid of Lovelace's power
did you ever have a situation like that?
sacking Ms Lutyens was among U's worst crimes
N could not forgive U for this
Mrs U was his only light, but he couldnt be totally honest with her
he doesnt have his own lenses yet so he used the masters to summon an imp
he makes a polished bronze disc
he waits until the Us leave for a trip
he makes a circle and uses a bowl of rowan wood and hazel
he steps into his circle and begins
he starts his incantation and wishes he had some water
once you start you cant safely stop
a naked baby with yellow eyes and red lips appears
N confines it into the disc
N can now spy all over the place. he keeps the disc hidden under the roof tiles
first he spies on his masters office, but gives up after seeing how boring it is
he spies on Ms Lutyens and her pupil
N orders imp to spy on Lovelace. it balks at this given how powerful S is
this job its not impossible, just difficult
he sees SL typing on a computer
imp is getting bored, N orders him to stay
he says a word that causes the imp pain
he cant get too near in case Lovelaces defenses twig
this brings us to the introduction of the scary huge beardo
L is startled by the mans appearance, suggesting that the guy bypassed all his security. how does he do that?
L whips out a bunch of cash
Imp warns him that a watcher is on its way
N tells him to stay until the last second
L reaches out for his prize
Big Beardo gives him a small parcel, which he frantically unwraps
imp dips out but before he does N sees the amulet
hes being annoying but N demands to know what he saw and heard
L was super eager
Big Beardo says "the Amulet of Samarkand is yours, Lovelace."
six months pass while he prepares his plan. the imp cant get that close again
U is still slowrolling him, thinking hes too dull to teach new things
chapter 14
Bartimaeus decides to manifest as a human next time hes summoned
he decides to look like Ptolemy, a fourteen year old Egyptian boy. he thought it would inspire the boys jealousy and rivalry
B is stoked cuz he has a handle on the kid now
N goes to his circle
B appears in London gear
N tries to order B
Bs like give over, kid
N is losing his cool
Nathaniel goes for the Systemic Vise
Bartimaeus intones Nathaniel's name, followed by a counter-spell
the kid cancels the spell before it can rebound on him
Bartimaeus keeps flippin shit
B says he'll go back to his bag of tricks
the kid busts out the Stimulating Compass
B launches this one back and nearly kills the kid a second time
Bartimaeus is like careful your master will come up to see what youre doing
N isnt worried
he realizes that B learned his name and thats how he could counterspell
(but didnt he already show that he was anxious about it in the scene with the master about getting his name?)
N gets mad when B talks like a teen
he starts to get into a fighting stance, B follows his lead
Ptolemy was very similar in look to Nathaniel, though much better looking (I'm wondering if Bartimaeus's love for him is sexual as well as filial)
N ponders how he can break Bartimaeus without being countered
B hopes that he can exhaust the boy by making him angry
B finds out that N isnt working for anyone else, he's doing it on his own
B tells him some girl tried to take the amulet
N is intrigued, but charges on
he tells B about big beardo
about how he was covered in blood
he thinks Lovelace is up to some bad business
N starts to give B new orders but B explains how he has no leverage
he tells N that he could spill Ns name to friends and enemies
N decides to pull that move where you send multiple copies of the blackmail info to your attorney to be mailed to the media in the event of your death
it works!
B gives in and agrees to continue working
-
In this episode, Sofia B returns to talk about chapters 6 and 7 of Lois McMaster Bujold's science fiction masterpiece, The Vor Game, featuring our favorite young hero, Miles Vorkosigan!
The Vor Game, Chapters 6 and 7 with Sofia B
Jeff's podcasts
Shattered Worlds RPG
Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?
Omniversal Escapades (Jeffâs livestreaming RPG show)
James Lark (composer, podcaster) wrote the theme song for the show Licensed for show use, copyright 2024
Hereâs James website for all his activities:
jameslark.co.uk
Recommendations
Kaikeyei (Vaishanavi Patel)
Interference (an 8th Doctor novel)
Social Media
Jeff Richardson
@eljefetacoma on Facebook, Twitter, Bluesky, Instagram, and Mastadon
Links
the starship Enterprise
Spontaneous human combustion
The Warrior's Apprentice
The Expanse
Medea
Wicked
Shards of Honor
Extended Notes
its autumn in Vorbarr Sultana
earth import trees
"Miles glimpsed one such tree. An Earth maple, with carnelian leaves and a silver-gray trunk, across the street. Then the door closed. Miles held that tree before his mindâs eye, trying to memorize it, just in case he never saw it again."
hes taken upstairs in impsec to see the boss, Simon Illyan
Overhult is unsure about leaving Miles alone with Simon
Simon is unconcerned
Miles looks like absolute shit
Simon looks him over
it gives Miles some deja vu
this is an easter egg for those whove read the warriors apprentice
People fear Illyan, but a lot of that is the office
hes been in the job20 years
screwed up during the soltoxin attack
illyan is only afraid of Miles's mom
apparently because of "vivid first impressions"
impressions plural?
Miles used to call him Uncle Simon. now its sir
Simon looks utterly exhausted
"them. The facts appear to be mutating every forty minutes, like bacteria. I donât suppose you could have picked some more public way to self-destruct? Attempted to assassinate the Emperor with your pocketknife during the Birthday Review, say, or raped a sheep in the Great Square during rush hour?â"
he doesnt understand how Miles could have betrayed his father like this
Miles doesnt think he really did
Count V and aide walk in
Miles is jealous of how brilliant respected tall and handsome Jole is (Vs aide)
"Jole was even worse than Ivan, who while darkly handsome had never been accused of brilliance."
Simon turns off recording equipment
his father hugs him - its quite touching
Miles explains the incident
CV is fiddling with a light pen
Miles is annoyed by this
CV must notice his reaction because he puts it away
this shows he is cognizant of his actions and doesnt want to annoy his subordinates (or his son)
what a contrast with Metzov
CV is furious that Metzov dragooned trainees for the firing squad
"General Metzov, by your account,â said Admiral Vorkosigan, âdragged a platoon of eighteen-year-olds into what came within a hair of being a mass torture-murder.â
Miles nodded in memory. His body still twinged with assorted agonies.
âFor that sin, there is no hole deep enough to hide him from my wrath. Metzov will be taken care of, all right.â"
Miles explains that half the techs were Greekies
Illyan is stunned to see that Metzov had no concern for the fallout
Miles says he thought itd be a problem, but he wasnt conscious of it until after the fact
but that doesnt stop him from spinning
"It . . . occurred to me, that if I died with them, at least it would be crystal clear that it hadnât been some plot of your government or the Vor oligarchy. So that if I lived, I won, and if I died, I won too. Or at least served. Strategy, of sorts.â"
Miles asks if he'll be charged with treason
Illyan says no, but mentions its the second time...
he plans to hide M until it blows over
Miles asks for mercy for the mutineers, since they were in it together
CV explains that if he lets them off, Miles's career will be ruined
"Miles exhaled, a long breath. âIn a weird sense, they were my men. Do it. Kill the charges.â
âWill you resign your commission, then?â demanded Illyan. He looked sick.
Miles felt sick, nauseous and cold. âI will.â"
Illyan asks how Miles knew about Metzovs actions during the Komarr revolt
M explains that he and Ivan did it
hes annoyed that Ivan didnt tell Illyan
Miles is trippin so he sits down cross legged
his dad thinks about helping but doesnt
he recommends they fast-penta Ahn
Miles explains how he and Ivan did the research
CV almost laughs
"Airtight security, you said,â murmured Count Vorkosigan, unsuccessfully suppressing a wheezing laugh. âThe most expensive yet devised. Proof against the cleverest viruses, the most sophisticated eavesdropping equipment. And two ensigns waft right through it?â
Goaded, Illyan snapped, âI didnât promise it was idiot-proof!â"
Illyan is so over Miles's bullshit
"This, on top of your earlier escapade with those damned mercenaries, on top of it allâhouse arrest isnât enough. I wonât sleep through the night till I have you locked in a cell with your hands tied behind your back.â"
CV proposes that Illyan bring Miles into ImpSec
Illyan realizes no one will have Miles but himself
"None that I could, in honor, lean on to take him. Excepting yourself. I have alwaysââ Count Vorkosigan flashed a peculiar grinââleaned on you, Simon.â"
they plan to hide him - true exile but not disgrace
"Security can use his talents. Security more than any other department needs his talents.â
âTo see the obvious?â
âAnd the less obvious. Many officers may be trusted with the Emperorâs life. Rather fewer with his honor.â"
CV suggests Miles go to infirmary
he asks about Kyril Island
"The climate was ferocious, the terrain was lethal, a third of the population including my immediate superior was dead drunk most of the time. The average IQ equaled the mean temperature in degrees cee, there wasnât a woman for five hundred kilometers in any direction, and the base commander was a homicidal psychotic. Other than that, it was lovely.â"
Miles is surprised to learn CV once commanded the base
"Howâd you like it?â
âI canât remember much. I was drunk most of the time. Everybody finds their own way of dealing with Camp Permafrost. I might say, you did rather better than I."
Miles has one more question
"Miles looked up at his father. âDid I do the right thing, sir? Last night?â
âYes,â said the Count simply. âA right thing. Perhaps not the best of all possible right things. Three days from now you may think of a cleverer tactic, but you were the man on the ground at the time. I try not to second-guess my field commanders.â
Milesâs heart rose in his aching chest for the first time since heâd left Kyril Island. He nodded, satisfied."
Miles goes downstairs to infirmary
the surgeon seems awed by CV
Miles knows the real CV, the one who came home for lunch every day to spend quality time with his son
"Only Miles knew the interior view of those hours, how the big man in the green uniform would bolt a sandwich in five minutes and then spend the next hour and a half down on the floor with his son who could not walk, playing, talking, reading aloud."
when Miles didnt want to do PT, CV would spur him forward
"'You are Vor. You must not frighten your liege people with this show of uncontrol, Lord Miles.â"
M realizes that with CV in his life, no wonder he wasnt awed by Metzov
He's treated for five days in the infirmary then released
"Why can't I go home?" Miles complained to his mother on her next visit. "Nobody's telling me anything. If I'm not under arrest, why can't I take home leave? If I am under arrest, why aren't the doors locked? I feel like I'm in limbo."
"Countess Cordelia Vorkosigan vented an unladylike snort. "You are in limbo, kiddo."
we get a great description of Lady Vorkosigan
he thinks about how she was a captain on an astronomical survey, an explorer, brave
she moves through Barrayaran society with aplomb
"It was the casual fearlessness, Miles decided, that made his mother so unsettling."
Miles complains about not being let out.
Lady V explains the fallout
annoying bit of unnecessary exposition: "Think of it as a funny reservist." She would know this already
Metzov is getting booted by with no court martial.
Miles is still in limbo tho
the plan is for the Barrayaran militaristss to settle down before letting him out
"It all seems so unreal." He hunched back into his pillow. "I only wanted to serve."
She suggests that he could up Vorness and see the galaxy
he counters with why don't you do that?
"Ah." She smiled bleakly at the touche. "Some people's needs are more compelling than guns."
turns out the Count cant come see him to make it look like he's angry
unnecessary exposition: the thing about Aral's high hopes in Miles around his congenital injuries. clearly they both have talked about this already
"Miles sighed glumly. "I want something to do. I want my clothes back."
Ivan doesnt want Miles's limbo stuck on him (like a button on the episode)
Chapter 7
Miles is led to his protected witnesses apartment
he thinks about being a political nonperson
"Was it possible life in limbo was having a chameleon effect, rendering him translucent?"
he has all his stuff from Kyril Island
he looks around. ordinary stuff
there must be bugs all over
Miles didn't have any neighbors
he wanders around but gets gently directed back to his area
he thinks about rappeling down the outside
Miles gets enough food tokens for a month and shudders
He cleans all his stuff and gets dressed
he pretends he's in a cabin on a starship
Someone comes to his door
its a guard, scanning for whatnot
in comes a man, the emperor gregor vor barra
Miles gestures him to sit
asks if Emperor has bugs running
he says he asked for none but who knows with Illyan
Emperor has wine, the private reserve "elegant anesthesia"
Gregor cant stay too long, but they have time to pound a couple bottles
he references Cordelia's religion - what is it?
Mom put Gregor up to it, even provided the wine
calls it ambrosia
made me wish i could still drink wine
Miles thinks about growing up with Gregor, tho he was five years older than Miles Ivan and Elena
Gregor gives sympathy about Miles's military career
he complains about his dull service
he talks about their forebears, how active they were militarily
Miles says they were flung into situations
Mad Yuri killed most of CVs family
Gregors melancholy, Miles wonders if he's thinking about how bad his father was, or if he even knew the truth about Serg's evil
"Nobody who'd known Serg talked about him, Count Vorkosigan least of all. Miles had met one of Serg's victims. Miles hoped Gregor never would."
Miles asks about Gregor's birthday
Gregor says folks are all trying to get him to marry
Miles is like go for it dude, have a son and settle all this schemery
Gregors like you could be one of the schemers
Miles is like have you seen me? bro i look wack. get married have kids
Gregor ponders running away
Miles does not like where this is going
Gregor asks about the chinese emperor who swept up somewhere
Miles is like no dude youre Vor, you cant wander off
Miles tries to distract by playing tacti-go even though he doesn't want to
Gregor tries to beat Miles. Miles goes easy on him, but not too obviously. Gregors having fun
they drink more
"I don't think I've beaten you at this since you were fourteen," sighed Gregor, concealing secret satisfaction at the low point spread of that last round. "You should be an officer, dammit"
Miles explains that the game isnt analogous to real battle. Miles likes it for not being so chaotic
Gregors like wtf why did they send you there, mentions the time Miles commanded a space fleet
Miles is like chill dude thats a secret
also he didnt prove he could obey, only command
Gregor says he doesnt know why Illyan didnt do more with them
he likes that Miles brought them secretly into Barrayar's service
Miles thinks Illyan took the deal to keep them from working for Barrayar's enemies
explains their size and function
Miles sort of tells the story of sneaking in and tricking them all into serving him
he thinks about how wild it was
hes not fond of heights? how has this not come up
Gregor ass ghow Kyril Island compared to battle with the Dendarii?
"Oh, there were certain parallels," Miles admitted. "Both were jobs I wasn't trained for, both were potentially lethal, I got out of both by my skin - lost some skin. The Dendarii episode was....worse."
Miles should have put on tunes, the silence is oppressive
Miles asks Gregor to get him out
Gregor admits that he feels compelled to do what Illyan and Vorkosigan suggest he do
Illyan wants him kept out of sight so thats that
"How much time? Dammit, if I don't get something to do soon, I'm going to be the first case of human spontaneous combustion recorded on vid."
they still havent proven that that is a thing, hilarious
Miles is way drunk now, says they're treating him like a mascot
Gregor knocks over a stack of chips
"Being a mascot isn't bad work, if you can get it." He promises to talk to Illyan about it
Miles gets a job! He's administrative assistant to the guard commander for the building
he's there a month and so over it
he wonders if he'll get out before Winterfair
another month
he starts to watch every training vid in the library
gets halfway before being called to Illyan's office
There he meets his superior, Captain Ungari
specialist in military evaluation
Illyan surprises Miles to report any news on the Dendarii Mercenaries
he only got a bday message from Elena
Simon puts up a holodisplay of wormholes, tells Miles to evaluate the scenario
Miles proves he's got the goods to analyze the data and complete an assessment
this also introduces us to the locations the story will be taking us, a bit of table setting
that ends in a reminder of whats up with Cetaganda
Simon explains their focus
"Wormhole strategy. The devilâs catâs cradle,â Illyan muttered editorially. He squinted at his glowing schematic. âFour players, one game-board. It ought to be simple. . . ."
theres an arms race developing in the Hegen Hub, planetary governments hiring mercs and building armed jump stations and the like
the Dendarii have been contracted by Aslund to cover while they build a station
we learn that the Dendarii have changed their name back to the Osserin Fleet
Vervain hired someone called Randall's Rangers
Illyan moves on to Cetaganda
he suggests that Pol might react badly to learning Barrayar and the Dendarii have a link
they might turn to Cetaganda
Illyan wants information
"Illyan, generally, wanted information with the same passion that a strung-out juba freak craved a spike. He turned now to Ungari. âSo what do you think, Captain? Will he do?â"
"Heâs more physically conspicuous than Iâd realized.â
âAs camouflage, thatâs not necessarily a disadvantage. In his company you ought to be nearly invisible. The stalking goat and the hunter.â"
turns out CV thinks they should send Miles out to ascertain info on the Dendarii and the situation in general
asks if Miles could be Naismith again
"To activate that suppressed persona again . . . It wasnât just a part, Illyan. âI could play Naismith again, sure. Itâs stopping playing Naismith that scares me.â"
Miles is freaking out inside but keeping cool
Illyan sends him out to be on hand if they need him to take control of the Dendarii
money to bribe them away from the Hub
Hell be Naismith, keeping it cool
"You will, of course, obey Captain Ungariâs orders. That goes without saying.â Illyanâs direct stare was chill as a Kyril Island midnight.
Miles smiled dutifully, to show he took the hint. Iâll be good, sirâlet me off-planet! From ghost to goatâwas this a promotion."
-
Dean Eaton is back and ready to go! This second half was somewhat less hilarious only because the film itself was less so and we seemed to be sapped of energy because of it. But don't worry! We made it work! As always, we knuckled down and made ourselves presentable because damnit we're professionals and that's just how we do it. End of.
Please join our Discord server and get to know the fam!
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Dean's livestream
Omniversal Escapades
Jeff's podcasts/livestreams
Shattered Worlds RPG
Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?
Omniversal Escapades (Jeffâs livestreaming RPG show)
James Lark (composer, podcaster) wrote the theme song for the show Licensed for show use, copyright 2024
Hereâs James website for all his activities:
jameslark.co.uk
Possible show titles
Daft Cows
A Wizard Did It
Something Said at an Orgy
Tempting Fate
[Jeff: we didn't say this but it struck me funny so I put it here] A Concept of a Planet
Making a Movie is Hard
Recommendations
Interior China - Jimmy O Yang
Til Death Do Us Til Blart
Altered Carbon
Omniversal Escapades
Social Media
Jeff Richardson
@eljefetacoma on Facebook, Twitter, Bluesky, Instagram, and Mastadon
Dean Eaton
@geekusdean on the various socials\
Links
Tupac hologram
Tim Curry quits acting
The Simpsons
Lucy Lawless: "A wizard did it"
The MCU
Shang-Chi: Legend of the Ten Rings
Captain America: Civil War
Spiderman: Far From Home
Creed
Evil Dead
Bruce Campbell
Ronnie Chang
Chloe Bennett
Extended Notes
Atun the turtle knows why he's going near a star
no one else knows
the octavo is taking action, its pedestal is shaped like discworld and tilts to move the turtle
rincewind falls - and doesnt die!
shot of wizards tower why?
"did i just leave the world only to fall back on it again?"
2:30 "is that me, or is it getting bigger?"
protestors mobbing against wizards
"wizards out, wizards out!"
TC puts on big hat, getting inducted
"one small step for a wizard into the unseen, one giant leap for the unseen university"
TC is pretty chill about the unrest
"i propose that we perform the rite of Ashkente"
barbarian soldier types
theyre talking pillaging
one eyed guest whose name is legend explains his secret of longevity
"hot water, good dentistry, and soft lavatory paper"
big chest has toilet paper he uses to lure the one eyed guy
is he smoking weed?
he has a horse
back at the tower, Ashkente rite takes place
death shows up
"i was at a party, you know"
TC asks why the red star is getting bigger
its because the turtle is moving towards it
the octavo needs the eighth spell which is why it turned to grab rincewind
all spells must be said together at solstice or many worlds will die
where is rincewind?
"in the forest of skund, rimward of the ramtop mountains, feeling very sorry for himself"
death thinks the party will go downhill at midnight
trymon talks to the orangutan librarian
"whoever says all the spells when the disc is in danger will gain ultimate power...to save the world. Yes, and that."
Trymon tells Horace not to tell anyone else about this secret. He gives H a banana. He says rincewind must not die until they get him back and empty his head
Tourist shows up. RW doesnt want him to haunt him
turns out hes still alive and dangling from a tree
"the turtle must have caught us somewhere?" why? who knows
where are we? tourist sees a stonehenge
Trymon says get rw alive to save the world
old one eye sees the chest open show the gold and keep moving
2f and rw are seeing nature sscrifice thing
sex and violence usually at the same time
2f sees the cult coming, they hide
old one eye and chest arrive
about the chest:
"hes very loyal. if loyaltys what you need in a suitcase"
theyre going to sacrifice hottie
2f steps in to disrupt the party
old one eye moves in, grabs rw, demands info
"his name is 2f and hes not from these parts"
old one eye wants the chest
star is getting bigger
"you ever done this sort of thing before? rushed into a temple, killed the priest, got the gold, and saved the girl? not in too many words no. you do it like this."
one eye rushes in
rw encourages 2f to go, he rescues hottie instead. shes not that into it. she didnt eff for eight years so she could be with moon goddess and they messed it up
rw gets kncoed out, one eye stabs priest
rw is dreaming, weird visuals he hs a very important task
"its not even a flesh wound"
girl wont let then rescue her. one eye disagrees
"dont just lie there you daft cow, help me up"
the seven spells want him to come back and return the eighth. he mustnt let the wrong wizards get his spell
he must bring it back at the solstice. hes mad at them for ruining his life. he will be a real wizard again if he turns over the spell
2f wants to stay for the druid rite but rw tells him the solstice festival is best in Ankh Morpork
he wants to see the temple at bel shamharoth. where no one has returned alive
the river snarl runs right past it on our way to the celebrations at ankh morpork
they do their bro handshake
wizards attack, they hide in sacrifical altar
rince and tourist make it to a sacrificial pyre and the wizards are outside telling him theyve come for him
RW: "even by wizard standard, trymon is a nasty piece of work"
"if that star is an omen, were all going to die. how about the death star?"
they roll out action hero style, wizards stormtrooper shoot them until one goes right for rw. 2f takes the shot
back to the protest
trymon dumps some piss on the lead organizer
wizards havent been able to find rincewind
one eye kills a guy
rw drags knocked out 2f, props him up
who saved them? cohen the barbarian
hottie is way into it
its him but hes gotten super old
hottie: "Bards still sing songs about you. I never get anyroyalties."
80 years in the business and what do i have to show for it? 100 recipes for soup
hes bemoaning being too old to get respect
rw has a cough
2f isnt exactly dead, hes just gone
a necromancer
"whats neck romance?" "no necromancy is talking to the dead"
rw doesnt believe ittarot cards, 1st is the star
four of elephants
ace of turtles
death
"is he really dead?"
lady makes a sort of medicine. he needs to drink it
rw drinks
he freezes and leaves his body
where am i going?
weird black and white death zone, hourglasses of rw and 2f
rw arrives in driveway of big house
he looks for 2f
sees a big pendulum blade
2f is watching it
"where are we exactly?"
"were sort of informally dead"
rw drags him out
death says
"i so seldom have company"
"ive never been in deaths door before"
they run down the drive
death rides up with a scythe
hottie wakes up rw
2f hugs rincewind for saving his life
"the horse people are very suspicious"
picture guy paints whats really there, rw didnt like what he saw
back at the wizards, trymon burned a magical chair. he goes over the agenda
rw is item 1
star is item 2
trymon sent a hero to find rincewind
wizards find that ridiculous
a heroine named Herrena is coming to grab rincewind
cohen says horse people have decided to give the team mounts and horses to get to the river
rincewind decides to split with cohen
cohen doesnt know how to deal with sincerit
rincewind explains how 2f always focuses on the positive wherever they go
cohen likes his eyes
"they can see for 50 years"
cohen agrees to travel with 2f, hottie comes with
"in case Cohen needs anything rubbed"
star even bigger, 2f asks if theyll be burnt up, rw doesnt know
rw says hottie has taken a shine to cohen
cohen says hes 87
2f says "who could possibly attack us now?"
Herrena continues to follow
big vistas and generic music
near the troll bone mountains
2f tells cohen about dentures
Herrena knocks out the crew and brings them to a big rock cave
2f and rw argue because the ladies ruin rincewinds cunning lie
old troll mountain - really old trolls turn to stone
fire is going to upset him because theyre all standing on his tongue
troll waking up is a real nightmare
rw and 2f are still tied, runningish
troll moves in their direction
boys fall down
wait how does sun work if discworld is freely moving through space?
rw tells 2f what he really thinks
the goons are back and have the boys
cut to clamoring peasants outside university
destroy false wizards!
the trouble is the archchancellor just isnt a team player
lesser wizards plot to kill the AC
theyll do it all together
they do a trap with a banana component
looks like AC got covered by drywall yogurt
he escapes!
then has a growly freakout
they bang a gong to get the ferryman ove
its foggy
ferryman is hooded
"youre not the usual ferryman"
Herrena orders men to grab Cohen
he pops out and demolishes everyone
Rws fight is so dumb
he gets knocked out twice then bonked by the chest
2f is cheering on the fight
cohen hurts his back
Herrena preps to stab
hottie cracks her on the head with a stick
hottie and cohen are getting married
rw thinks its a bit odd
wonders how cohen will have the stamina
cohen agrees with the concern, but he thought rw was talking about her
octavo is itchy
AC growls some more
AC is pissed about hero not getting rw
so hes going to consult the octavo
"we have gone beyond wisdom"
aint that right
hottie is bethann
people are going bugfuck
rw asks why
guy says disc is going to hit the star
the spell speaks thru rw and says the star is life not death
cohen gets trolls teeth dentures
Bethan his betrothed
he wants a wedding dress and a steak
rw and 2f come across rubes burning magic books
people decide to slowly advance on rw
AC enters octavo room
orders wizards to unlock the chain
rw tries to do magic, but cant
2f hypes him up
guy says all the magics gone
rw does a wind spell that pokes a guy
then rw faints
"I have a wizard!"
luggage returns and breaks up the mob
wizards get the chain off
AC grabs the book and heads to the great hall, locking the other wizards inside the room
the star has other worlds around it
2f called them spots
rw says no, but doesnt have a name for them, knows theyre things floating around the star
he just jacked someones fur off their stand and they didnt even react
they get to the lower cellars
we hear wizards shouting
upstairs AC is climbing up
RW goes to the octavo room door and sees that its the other wizards
the masters of wizardry are in there
rincewind tries to open door but the guy says he doesnt have the magic for it
rw tries to prove him wrong
blue magic floats out and turns the lock
door opens
the wizards fill him in
people are screaming so the wizards go to check it out
are demons coming through? guy says no but worse
2f runs madly into the tower
he just jacked a guys sword no problem
rw has to follow
2f: "this is an adventure, isnt it?"
book comes down
octavo is done
2f picks it up
RW takes it and goes up top
he says im not crazy and then talks to himself
AC greets him and welcomes him to enter
his eyes are green flames briefly
"the 8th spell, give it to me"
AC tries to kill Rincewind but the big book blocks the shot
chimp librarian climbs tower
"these statues look like wizards. "they are the wizards! there are? they were."
2f is looking for sword
rw tries to crush AC with book
then falls down
ac falls on a banana peel and the spell hits him in the mouth, turns him to stone
rw is inside the book
rw is actually hanging off the stone
rw drops
cohen grabs him
death is annoyed again
rw returns the spells to the book
isnt all this magic exciting?
cohen isnt impressed, he likes stage magic
book floats up and vanishes
suddenly worlds move towards the disc
theyre all new turtles with discs!
theyre itty bitty
"thats 2flower, he just appreciates beautiy in his own way"
sleepy Atun looks kinda suss
theres a turtle flying up over the sunset
why only 8 and not hundreds like actual turtles
magical octavo drops and lands in the luggage
it wouldnt tell 2flower where it had put it
poor Trymon fell over and broke
2flower is going home
rw is upset
"you havent really been anywhere until you get back home"
Cohen and Bethan got hitched
he stole the dress for her
they go to do their homey shake
rw hugs him instead
it feels like the end of a summer love affair
the tourist knows he'll never come this way again
if he goes again he'll go somewhere else
i wish he wasnt so closed off a character
the patrician!
he peers out of his litter, confirms that 2f is leaving, and bows his head
the luggage arrives to assist rw
he doesnt want it but eventually caves
Cohen and Bethan wave as the ship floats along the pier
the real ship and dock would be all shouting, instead its all serene
the scientists from the start do a joke and thats it
its all a question of perspective?
-
James Lark is back and we're talking music teaching, conducting, the trials of poor Nathaniel, and the struggles of being a budding wizard with a cowardly master.
Please join our Discord server and get to know the fam!
https://discord.gg/vtJnpkhd
Jeff's podcasts
Shattered Worlds RPG
Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?
Omniversal Escapades (Jeffâs livestreaming RPG show)
James's podcast
Neurotic Literature
Music
James Lark (composer, podcaster) wrote the theme song for the show Licensed for show use, copyright 2024
Hereâs James website for all his activities:
jameslark.co.uk
Possible show titles
An Untidy Sheaf
Spread That Wadge
Everyone Can Be an Alexander
Recommendations
Wolf Hall
Coda: The Final Conflict (Big Finish Audio)
Social Media
Jeff Richardson
@eljefetacoma on Facebook, Twitter, Bluesky, Instagram, and Mastadon
James Lark
@James Lark on Twitter, @worksoflark on Instagram
Links
The Huglife Podcast
Alexander the Great
Frederick the Great
Monica Nevi
brown eyes vs blue eyes
blind waiters in dark restaurant
Rachmaninoff's 2nd Symphony
Stenhammer's 2nd Piano Concerto
Rimsky-Korsakov
Whiplash
Princess Mononoke
music before the age of mechanical reproduction
Ted Kennedy
George W Bush
No Child Left Behind
David Copperfield
Trafalgar Square
US Republican Party
London weather
Schindler's List
Doctor Who
The Temptation of Jesus
Howl's Moving Castle
Ponyo
Hayao Miyazaki
The Golden Compass
Milton's Fallen
is Milton speculative fiction?
Highgate
Highgate Cemetery
Karl Marx
Douglas Adams
Georgian houses
Bath
Regency style
Brazil
Ministers Questions thing from UK Parliament
Oxford and Cambridge debating societies
Houses of Parliament
The Twilight Zone "To Serve Man"
a wadge
Oliver!
Homosexuality decriminalized in Isle of Man in 1992
The Docklands
Crystal Palace
Alexandra Palace
Man in the High Castle
Azerbaijan
Aaron Sorkin
Jerry Lee Lewis
The Isle of Wight
Westminster Abbey
Charles Dickens
George Frideric Handel
Isaac Newton
Stephen Hawking
The Dresden Files
Roald Dahl
James and the Giant Peach
Thomas Cromwell
Just War (A Bernice Summerfield book)
Hitler and art school
The Thing
Ennio Morricone
Hogfather
The Colour of Magic
The Weird Sisters
Extended Notes
Chapter 7
9
B leaves the square looking for a good alley. he really wants to toss the amulet but he cant without putting himself more in Ns power
10
2 footnote - because a master forcing his djinn to attack another resulted in a massive explosion in Baghdad, now magicians choose not to pit djinn directly against each other
"Cities get me down, almost as if I am underground. London is particularly badâcold, gray, heavy with odors and rain.
It makes me long for the south, for the deserts and the blank blue sky."
he finds a dry alcove and takes a seat
11
he ponders the situation
"At dawn I would hand over the Amulet and escape this sorry mess for good.
Except for my business with the boy. Heâd pay for it, big time. You didnât reduce Bartimaeus of Uruk to dossing in a West End back alley and expect to get away with it. First Iâd find out his name, thenâ"
booted feet show up at the end of the alley. who is it? he wonders if the police sniffed him out or the orbs found him
12
the kids from t square
five boys, one commanding girl
black leather jacket and flared pants
13
one of the boys senses B
girl orders them to subdue him
three big boys go to town on him
B tries a mini-detonation but it doesnt hurt anyone
he tries another and it sets off a bunch of car alarms
"I repeated the effect with greater emphasis. Car alarms in the next street started ringing. This time, I confess, I expected to be left in the charcoally grip of three charred corpses."
boys keep holding on, unharmed
14
girl says she wants the amulet
B guesses she's thirteen, with a strong authoritative voice
she calls him a cretin and he doesnt clap back
"You donât really know who I am, do you?â I made it sound damn casual, with a side helping of menace. âYouâre not a magician.â
âToo right Iâm not.â
He starts to flex his mighty voice
15
"Would a magician do so well against your wickedness?â
She had a point there."
magicians would stay away, and if they didnt theyd need imps and djinn to defeat him
he's too tired to do a full demo
he offers to assist her (Jesus tempted by the devil)
16
"To my disappointment, the girl clamped her hands over her ears. âDonât give me your weasel words, demon!â she said. âI wonât be tempted.â
he explains that he could bring the night police down on them
"Donât be naĂŻve,â I said. âThink about it. Youâre trying to rob me of a very powerful object. It belongs to a terrible magician. If you so much as touch it, heâll find you and nail your skin to his door.""
he was getting to her, making her reconsider
17
she reaches for the chain
he turns into a Nile crocodile and scares off the boys, then wacks the boys with his tail
18
right as a boy throws a silver object, B turns into a fox and slips away. the sphere buries itself into the wall
B runs and jumps into a bin, narrowly avoiding the police
19
some commotion happens and the fox waits, listening
Chapter 8
1
We learn about Ns master Arthur Underwood and his wife
tall Georgian house in Highgate
Underwood didnt want an apprentice but apparently its mandatory
one day the ministry of employment assigns him one
2
this place has a real Brazil feel to it
Arthur comes to the clerks desk, finds out he'll be signing forns and meeting the boy
boy is 5, very bright
"a wodge of paper"?
3
turns out his parents bolted, barely said anything
his birth records will destroyed
our first glimpse of Nathaniel
"He passed down a series of silent corridors and through a heavy, paneled door to a brightly painted room that had been filled with toys for the entertainment of unhappy children. There, between a grimacing rocking horse and a plastic wizard doll wearing a comedy conical hat, he found a small pale-faced boy. It had been crying in the recent past, but had now fortunately desisted."
4
Underwood tells him who he is then takes him to his car
he tried to talk to N but no dice
we meet Mrs Martha Underwood. shes amazing, so sweet and kind
5
Martha puts her arm around N and convinces him to share the secret of his birth name
6
Martha expresses her concern for Nathaniel and disapproval of the system of apprenticeship
"think itâs disgraceful, ripping a child from his home so young.â
âThatâs how itâs always been done, Martha. Apprentices have to come from somewhere.â
Underwood is very frank about the reasons for the rules
"His birth name must be forgotten, or else future enemies will use it to harm him. How can it be forgotten if his family keeps in contact? Besides, no one has forced his parents to part with their brat."
if apprentices make it they get to work for the government
7
Martha wishes they could have a child
something happened in Italy when they let magicians have kids
N's bedroom is in the attic
he can see London out the window
he can see the crystal palace radio mast on a good day
is the crystal palace radio mast a real thing?
8
M puts fresh flowers on his desk every week
she often uses Ns birth name, despite Arthurs disapproval
she refuses to be moved, despite the risk
"Whoâs going to notice?â she protested. âNo one. It gives the poor lad comfort.â"
other people call him Underwood and Arthur
calls him boy.
Nathaniel is devoted to her
she gave him a painting of boats
the woman is extraordinary
9
"Youâre to be a magician, Nathaniel,â she said, âand that is the greatest privilege that any boy or girl could have. Your parents have made the ultimate sacrifice by giving you up for this noble destiny. No, donât cry, dear. So in turn you must be strong, strive as hard as you can, and learn everything your tutors ask of you. By doing that you will honor both your parents and yourself."
10
most magicians work at Whitehall and she expects he will too.
he determines to make her proud and make it to the government
he eventually stopped thinking of his parents and accepted life with the Underwoods
11
the "mouth not toes" story
he keeps himself looking neat and tidy
pale face
Martha helps him with his homework
12
hes learning geography
she explains why its important
she tells him about the djinn
13
Walter Purcell, Ns non magical teacher
horrible ties
twitchy, honest, snippy
14
Purcell explains why we need a government
protection in a time of war
tho it sounds like theyre whipping czechs butt
if magicians werent in charge it would be commoners
"All that stands between us and anarchy is our leaders. This is what you should aspire to, boy. To be a part of the Government and rule honorably. Remember that.â"
15
"Honor is the most important quality for a magician,â Mr. Purcell went on. âHe or she has great power, and must use it with discretion. In the past, rogue magicians have attempted to overthrow the State: they have always been defeated. Why? Because true magicians fight with virtue and justice on their side.â
16
he learns to swim
at eight hes avoided and left alone
he has a music teacher, Mr Sindra
Sindra gets super angry
apparently music is used in summoning
17
N is hopeless at music
his drawing teacher mrs lutyens is great tho
she asks for his name and he gives it
18
he wishes he could draw fun stuff instead
of symbols and diagrams
she explains that he needs to do this extremely well to be amagician
19
hes made mistakes
she explains that in magic he cant afford to make a single mistake
Nathaniel goes out to the garden
20
theres a cool statue of a guy in the garden
he asks Martha who it is
"Ask your master,â she said. âHe knows everything.â
But Nathaniel had not dared ask."
N comes here to compose himself
Chapter 9
1
nathaniel would be summoned to the master office
he sits on a cushion
2
Underwood would quiz him on all he was learning
sometimes he would talk about magic
he explains that magicians can be bad or good, but what they must not be is incompetent. Loss of control is unacceptable.
"Providing the magician remains in control of the forces he has set to work, he remainsâwhat does he remain?â
3
Safe, secret, strong
the great secret - that demons (or spirits) are very wicked and will hurt you if they can
he explains that you cant mispronounce anything
demons will exploit any failure
hes almost nine
4
magic lessons begin twice a week
he loved being telling about his day with Martha, then dreaming about going to the government
5
master takes N to his office
he shows him a case of books he must learn before his 12th birthday
he asks if then he'll be a magician
6
Master points at bookcase with hundreds of books
he wont be allowed to look at those till 13
next they go to a creepy workroom
6
M has him put on the spectacles
Master show him his contact lenses
7
when hes 12 he'll get a new name
8
M explains the need for secrecy
demons and also bed magicians can use him name to pull shenanigans
N gets to wear spectacles but not outside the workroom
explains that there are different layers to reality
9
Master pulls down a dead rat
tells N to look at it closely
puts on specs
sees an imp
a "Scarlet Vexation"
10
its a spreader of pestilence
he shows N a box full of tiny lil demon guys
simplest minded demons
orange stings beneath their tails
11
these mites will mess up your enemies
""We have dangerous tools that we must control. We shall now begin learning how to protect ourselves.â"
he learned all the skills necessary to do magic
12
not once does Underwood summon anything
he does as much extra work as he can
he wants those spectacles damnit
he tells Lutyens
"'Patience,â she told him. âPatience is the prime virtue. If you hurry, you will fail. And failure is painful. You must always relax and concentrate on the task in hand.'"
Underwood summons a creature but wont let N see it
13
the master and he stand in circles and the demon should be appearing in the other one
a wind knocks over candles, starting a fire
N goes to extinguish him but Master shouts him down
Master says seven words of dismissal
burning papers vanish, candles are back upright
14
Master admonishes him for falling for the demons trick
some demons adopt cute animal guises
some make nasty smells
one made a shower of apple blossom
some had nice perfume
some were scary sounds
15
he kept it together
a year later he was able to wear the specs and see the demons
he was kicking ass at all his studies
just before age 11, something terrible happens
Chapter 10
1
Bartimaeus complains about his terrible ordeal, camped out on the roof of Westminster Abbey waiting for the summons
amulet flashes in the sunlight
2
the spheres didnt find him because of the artifacts in the graves
the boy still hasnt woken up
he restates his belief that N is being exploited by a more powerful magician
3
clearly several magicians took part in the search, suggesting the amulet was necessary to some larger plan
Simon Lovelace is powerful
"The fact that he was able to employ (and restrain) both Faquarl and Jabor proved as much. I did not relish the urchinâs chances when the magician caught up with him."
its been several centuries since B has run into humans that are immune to magic
the kids dont seem to grasp the implications
B cant figure how the girl is related
the summons feels super painful
4
B is annoyed by N
"I order you, Bartimaeus, to reveal whether you have diligently and wholly carried out your chargeââ
âOf course I haveâwhat do you think this is, costume jewelry?â"
"The Amulet of Samarkand. It was Simon Lovelaceâs. Now it is yours. Soon it will be Simon Lovelaceâs again."
the kid has drawn Adelbrand's Pentacle
kids shouldnt be able to smirk
5
As P is trouble
B pretends that N has done the circle wrong trying to spook him
"The kidâs face went an interesting mix of white and red; his lower lip wobbled; his eyes bulged from their sockets. He looked very much like he wanted to run for it, but he didnât, so my plan was foiled."
N calls him Recreant demon
B admits he lied
N says put the amulet in the bowl
6
instead N uses a stick
N has a smart way to transfer the amulet from one circle to another
this isnt like the dresden files where crossing the boundary of a circle breaks the spell
N doesnt like how it smells
B explains what he had to do to avoid capture
"You were pursued?â He sounded almost eager. Wrong emotion, kidâtry fear.
âBy half the demonic hordes of London.â"
B warns N that they are coming for him
He tries to trick N into releasing him again
N doesnt bite
"Do you take me for a fool?â
âThe amulet in your hands answers that."
7
Nathan tries to banish B but B resists
"You cannot depart! I have other work for thee.â More than the renewed captivity, it was these occasional archaisms that annoyed me so much. Thee, recreant demonâI ask you! No one used language like that anymore, and hadnât for two hundred years. Anyone would think he had learned his trade entirely out of some old book."
haha! dramatic irony
As P lets you hold on to a demon and continue their service
"It was a complex magical formula that required adult stamina and concentration, and this gave me ammunition for my next attack."
8
B asks where Ns master is
N seems stung by this
B says its a sort of prank
N laughs, then puts amulet back in the bowl
9
He sends amulet back to B
B says he'll give amulet to Simon Lovelace
the boys coat is three sizes too large
"It had evidently once belonged to a very careless magician, since, although heavily patched, it still displayed the unmistakable ravages of fire, blood, and talon. I wished the boy similar fortune."
the kid has a scrying glass
he starts to cast a spell
10
the boy uses the glass
B looks around the room
he wants a clue as to the boys official name
(which is funny because N doesnt have one yet)
a cracked glass vase with fresh flowers
somebody liked him
Kid orders B to hide the amulet in Underwoods office
"Very well. Where does this unfortunate magician reside?â
The boy smiled thinly. âDownstairs.â"
-
In this episode, Dave H returns to discuss the first two episodes of Lower Decks, "Second Contact" and "Envoys". Hilarity ensues.
Please join our Discord server and get to know the fam!
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Favorite References
Jeff: when she asks if he knows Kirk, Sulu, etc
Dave: the bucket of contraband
Plugs
Jeff's podcasts
Shattered Worlds RPG
Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?
Omniversal Escapades (Jeffâs livestreaming RPG show)
Music
James Lark (composer, podcaster) wrote the theme song for the show Licensed for show use, copyright 2024
Hereâs James website for all his activities:
jameslark.co.uk
Possible show notes
Protect This Slime
Recommendations
Monk and Robot
Wayfarers
Ducktales (2017)
Social Media
Jeff Richardson
@eljefetacoma on Facebook, Twitter, Bluesky, Instagram, and Mastadon
Dave is on Discord: The USS Hood @cthulhucalamari
Links
TOS episode "Miri"
Star Trek: The Motion Picture
Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan
Star Trek 3: The Search for Spock
Star Trek 4: The One With the Whales
The Greatest Generation
Star Trek: The Next Generation
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Buffalo jeans
Star Trek: Prodigy
Star Trek: Discovery
Star Trek: Picard
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds
Saved!
Star Trek: The Animated Series
"The Naked Now"
the TNG episode where Riker is in a holocave with a kid who says he's his dad
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
General Order 5?
12 hours of warp core
The Monkees "I'm a Believer"
South Park zombies
the guy who did choreo for The Matrix (Yuen Woo-ping)
Phil Lamar
MadTV
Futurama
Pulp Fiction
Lower Decks: Warp Your Own Way
Spock clock
Maid Marian from Disney's Robin Hood
Noel Wells
"The Game" TNG
Starfleet dress uniform
Gene Roddenberry
Khan's "Moons of Nibia" speech
TNG episode where Jake takes a shuttle
Ford Windstar
The Janeway Protocol
Anbo-jyutsu
American Gladiators
Morn
Kirk hands
"A Fistful of Datas"
Graham Greene
Yamok sauce episode
Soundbite: Ransom shouts "did I eat flesh? how much did I eat?"
Mariner: "We're gonna get your butt in a captain's chair!" 1:04:38
1:21:25 Mariner: "Up and down with the blast shield!"
Show Pic: Boimler saying "Female outside feces feces"
1:36:25 Shapeshifter child: "I'm a little boy!"
Show Pic: "He likes jamaharon!"
18:24 Boimler: "I should just study bugs on a far off planet!"
Show Pic: Boimler with his pants down
Episode 1 "Second Contact"
space station and ships pan into view
a male voice gives a captains log
the Cerritos looks cool as hell
douglas station
cool layers, plenty of depth
great depth of field, fuzzy people in bg and fg
"our specialty is second contact"
black lady opens the door and clowns on purple haired guy for doing a captains log in a closet
shes drunk, busting on him for being a nerd
romulan whiskey is blue
phg says its against regulation, black lady doesnt care
she starts swinging a batleth, cant remember what its called
"i got it from an old guy with an eyepatch"
could it be Martok? surely shed recognize him since hes the chancellor
"worf worf worf i love honor! i demand honor!"
she hacks his thigh, they both scream
credits
beautiful scenery
rocks hit ship (shouldnt the deflector block those)
the ship sees borgs fighting roms and dips out
its got a space whale!
looks so good!
shuttle lands
theres a geordi visor!
an Orion officer
Ensign dvana tendi
shes jacked
blonde guy tells her to keep moving
phg, boimler, is only getting bananas
shes science, boims and mariner are command
"i love science. Uh, its so sciency" is boimler horny for Tendi?
Beckett Mariner
"i cant believe were gonna serve side by side, scientists and commanders, an elite team" shes clearly very into drama
tendi def wants to be CMO
Mariner does not want to be senior (odd then that shes in the command track)
she was promoted, then thought for herself so got demoted
Mariner doesnt like giving the tour but she does need help with contraband
Boims is not amused
Boimler points out places on the map
Mariner clearly has heard Boimlers jokes and is bored with it
Boims thinks bridge is cool
Mariner does not
Rutherford the engineer has a vulcan implant thats goofing up
Ruthy has a date with ensign barnes
M says shes crazy hot
ruthys implant keeps suppressing his emotions
Ruthy is naturally anxious, pukes when stressed?
Mariner pretends not to know what rooms are, Boims calls her out
M "And this is Boims's hidey closet where he pretends to be a captain like a big boy."
B "this is not a good tour!"
they sleep in a hallway
sleep near a shower
Tendi is loving being on a ship seeing the warp trails
its holodeck time!
(i am skeptical that an ensign wouldnt have used a holodeck before. im sure they use them to do the kobayashi maru)
Boims is crazy for warp core
M does not care
Tendi doesnt know about sand? nonsense
also surely Orions have holodecks at least to practice their piracy
Tendis impressed that B gets to go to the bridge
M downplays it
all nude olympic training facility
M should be reported to hr for this one
Galardonian shuttles are badass
Gs themselves are little purple seahorse pigs, some with horns
Ransom, buff white dude, gets bit by insect
R and mustache man are real bros
Boims tries to manage hair unsuccessfully
he enters the bridge in severe anxiety
Black woman captain gives Boims a special assignment
keep an eye on ensign mariner
"i like my crew working in lockstep"
Barnes and Ruthy's date
apparently Billups doesnt know how to talk to women (with future knowledge we have an idea why)
Rs implant makes him harshly vulcan for a sec
her dad was a cyborg
"Shaxs drop his latte again? Guy's got baby hands" would be funnier if wed gotten his name yet, clearly a second watch joke
B is clearly feeling bad and suss
he sees Mariner run off and get in a truck
he follows
Ransom goes nuts
zombie virus, spewing black goo and chewing on a guys neck
B and R still do date even during this madness
disease is either airborne or transferred by goo
cat doctor
T "i was supposed to be assisting Nurse Westlake" cat points at guy on bed snarling "that is nurse westlake!"
B is behind a bush, peeking
he sees Mariner offering starfleet tech to two Galardonians
the planet is so beautiful, yellow sky, reddish brown leaves, pea soup green dirt, fungus balls and tall grass
B jumps out and scares Mariner
he accuses her of selling weapons, she tries to shut him down
Gs try to leave, B shoots the ground
B reads the rulebook
she busts back with more knowledge
its farm equipment
hes surprised
Gs run through gate, leave it open
huge spider breaks out
giant spider is shooting butt webbing
M and B behind bush
M defends herself, saying the farmers were starving so she gave some help
he asks how she knew they exist
she was here last year on the quito before she got demoted to the cerritos
B didnt know her backstory
she was
trapped in a sentient cave
"thats a dark place that knows things"
head taken off by a singing crystal
klingon prison where she had to fight a yeti for her own shoes for no reason.
"he was just being a dick!"
hes only been to five planets including earth and vulcan
he only knows what in the manuals so he should follow her lead
they cant leave because the farmers need the spider
general order 5
"We'll just stun it." "No could spoil the milk."
B dismisses this, but as i thought about it i realized she saw only one get out which suggests the animal isnt for meat but for some other purpose, its a short leap to milk
"Five ships, yeti shoes, i am always right, take them off now!"
two puppets of them for spider to attack
its going to town on Bs uniform
M is stoked
shes ready to jump on its back
he wants it to destroy both uniforms first
why did she yell Mark before jumping?
she jumps, then B
he gets nabbed by spider which starts gooping and sucking him
he says phaser it
farmers begs her not to
M says we cant let it eat him
farmer says its just suckling for moisture
M yells to Boimler
"its just suckling you, youre fine"
Boimler has funny scream. M tries to encourage him
"go to your happy place! oo think about the warp core!"
B and M spacewalk to get to the rally point
it looks totally awesome
their suits are low on oxygen? they should be rated for 24 hours or more if show canon is to be believed. how long were Belanna and Tom out there?
she likes The Monkees, Ruthy is into it
"Lets just say I'm a Believer"
Great shot thru window of Shaxs wasting fools as they ascend
B and R are wicked at action stuff
weirdly a hatch wont open for them
i like how he thumbs up for her to move through maintenance hatch then jumps in after, good teamwork during retreat
they take off helmets and kiss
shes like hows it goin
and hes like these doors are messed up
she is not into boring details and walks off
Tendi in sickybay
"pump this, dont pass out. nobodys authorized to pass out"
M havin some wilk while B gets milked
she pulls him out of sleepy spider
"my bones..."
"but im naked"
they drive back thru idyllic landscape with lovely tune
"i think we make a pretty good team, Boimler"
he admits he was told to spy on her
she doesnt get why he worships them
he starts to defend captain but stops
hes going to report her
they get to rally point and beam to ship
everyone is in transporter room
DR taana swipes bs face and analyEs
spider milk
dr t says they should get B to sickbak
"what makes him so special? nothing. its the slime, Captain"
"everyone, protect. this. slime!"
Shaxs bursts through door, carrying B
crew makes it to sickbay
milk will neutralize rage effect
T says Cap doesnt have nuch time. M yells
"oo shouldve washed those hands, captain!"
Ransom is cured
"where am i? did i eat flesh?" "hardly any" "how much did i eat?!"
T sprays purple gas through ship
captain congratulates Dr t
she makes a bad joke, senior staff laugh
M tries to explain that B saved them
Tendi stoked cuz she got to
hold a heart
cap says in report that only dr t saved everyone
she asks B what mariner did
he says she was fine
"maybe that goo that saved the ship messed with my memory"
even now hes trying to correct the record
admiral so and so calls her
"ransom tried to eat a guy. we're
fine"
she wants to throw Mariner in the brig
she loves the brig
T asks R about his date
he praises her but hes not seeing her again
she had zero interest in why a red alert messed with the hatch lock
"who has time for romance when theres a level two diagnostic just sitting there waiting to be run?"
"mm mm dont have to tell me twice i am right there"
B praises M
"starfleet is better with you in it"
B didnt sell her out
she praises him
"were gonna get your butt in a captains chair. guess what mm im your new mentor. boom. surprise bitchh its done how does it feel?"
lower decks cheer
"youre gonna be my chadeetch from now on baby"
she mentions spocks rebirth in star trek 3
mentions khan and space whales
how bout sulu do yiu know kirk my man worf gary mitchell, do you know deanna troi her body be bangin, she went from a jumpsuit
episode 2"Envoys"
cerritos floats above red planet
pale blue sphere enters the hull imto a storage room
M suggests drinkin and gettin a dude all worked up
Tendi doesnt get it
energy sphere appears
"supplicate yourselves!"
Mariner grabs it and tells Tendi to bring a canister
"we can use this thing for all sorts of cool stuff"
she starts to push it into a canister
he says he can grant wishes
Mariners listening
she demands a tricorder with a purple stripe
he loses a bunch of power
she wants a power pack
it gets even smaller
Captain Freeman rolls up and it just darts into her chest shouting "die, mortal!"
T and M are watching video of admiral falling
B comes in with news of his mission
hes talking about someone
they speculate who it might be
Castro, enterprise
Pjoq, what a snack
its Boimler!
piloting general Korin
decorated warrior
they all have an apostrophe
M thinks the cargo bay is exotic
R shows up
hes been in ducts for a week
"thats another three, four days in the tubes!"
R says he'll switch his career to change shifts
B comes into the shuttle bay
Mariners in the shuttle!
shes already there eating ramen and spilling
shes the pilot
he has a dress uniform
blast field down and up with songs
Rutherford tells Billups hes transferring
Billups is totally cool about it
they chant his name
on the shuttle M is passed out
"buried alive
marooned for eternity
moons of nibia"
Bs been studying Korin
deference and respect
M kicks his ass
"Starfleet has made you soft, Mariner!"
"i must update
you on my many sexual contests, Mariner!
What, both of them?"
Korin wants to be landed in Little Kronos
Bs like what?
"I got chewed out, but he got his ass chewed Uuuup"
why is console hot?
multispecies hang spot
unsecured district
theyre blood bonded he passed out on his sword
Korin jakes the shuttle
Mariner laughs "classic Korin"
"did you even read the mission brief?"
"im sorry i skimmed most of it, and read some of the captions"
Boimler is speed walking to conserve energy
"this is serious! i think were violating the Khitomer accords"
"he went north in search of stronger ales!"
so were federation dogs, huh?
"hey if it got us what we needed woof woof"
Ransom does command trainer 43 with Rutherford
captain were being drawn into a temporal rift?
"casualties 105 percent
wait how did i kill more than the whole crew?"
Ransom mentions the Janeway protocol
command trainer 4
should they hit the asteroid?
Janeway protocol?
"all the ships children have been ejected into space."
"all those kids..."
M and B talk philosophy of training
Boimler meets a lady in red
shes real sensual
Mariner washes it off of Brad
"i know you still want it! I can hear your nasty boy thoughts!"
it was an anobaj
weakminded? lol
"An andorian in the bathroom said the generals in a bar down the road"
hes relating engineering to bodies
taana is supportive
she orders him to chat with the guy and keep him distracted
instead R makes him freak out
"Those are dilithium burns? how are you still alive, man? you should be dead!"
"that robot said i was dying"
he joins security
bunch of borgs
program smorgasborg
he uses his implant to be a super kickpuncher
M cautions B to be chill
he gets all huffy
Boimler sees a man being menaced
he runs in
Mariner says no
old guy whines
other guy goes to kick him
B shoots
"Starfleet! I order you to step away from the elder! You idiot thats no elder!"
its a weird little monster - Vendorian shapeshifter
they start a barfight
theres a Morn!
Boimler objects
"this is a violation of the Tulganan neutrality pact"
Mariner jumps up "Kirk hands"
has phaser
she pays for five rounds
"sir i dont know you, thats starfleet property youre handling"
Boimler looks like shit. He feels inadequate because of Mariners awesomeness
"all that studying and where did it get me?"
"i should just turn in my uniform and go work on a research asteroid!"
Mariner is horrified
"do not even joke about that"
17:45 soundbite: Boimler does the shaky video log bit
Mariner says starfleet needs booksmart people like B
he flips his communicator and runs off
Rutherford is in security. Shaxs is giving a speech
"no greater honor than to die beside you in battle."
Rutherford decides to go back to engineering. he needs those tubes
"Got to be true to yourself. am i right bears? oo rah!" Rutherford "Aw, bears!"
ferengi bit
Mariner pretends hes a Bolean
"hey ferengi, get out of here, get get!"
they drag drunk Korin out of the shuttle
"Fetch me my drinking horn, i need ale"
Mariner pretends to have not known the ferengi thing
B promises not to tell anyone
smash cut to him telling everyone
"Muah muah hoo mon" he was doin the hand thing and everything"
Mariner pretends to be offended and jets
she smiles
Rutherford "i belong in the tubes"
she doesnt realize he did all that to be a bro
ferengi dude and Mariner chat
R looks at tube
"isnt it amazing?" she says looking at spce on her pad. R looks at tube. "its beautiful"
-
This is it! Our holiday special with the one and only Jayme Antrim! Back by popular demand, Terry Pratchett brings us Terry Pratchett's Hogfather, a dramatic retelling of his timeless classic. It's no notes today so things are a bit loose and all over the place, but it's a ton of fun and should make a delightful part of your holiday experience!
Happy holidays, everyone! May your season be as bright as Death's eyes!
Please join our Discord server and get to know the fam!
https://discord.gg/vtJnpkhd
Plugs
Jayme Antrim
Shattered Worlds RPG
Jeff's podcasts
Shattered Worlds RPG
Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?
Omniversal Escapades (Jeffâs livestreaming RPG show)
James Lark (composer, podcaster) wrote the theme song for the show Licensed for show use, copyright 2024
Hereâs James website for all his activities:
jameslark.co.uk
Recommendations
Krampus (2015)
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency
Possible show titles
Meat Nieces
One Dimensional Dudes
Bordered-Off Danger Showers
Medium Dave Fan Fiction
Humans Are the Hawk Tuah
Social Media
Jeff Richardson
@eljefetacoma on Facebook, Twitter, Bluesky, Instagram, and Mastadon
Jayme Antrim
Brandoff the Offbrand Gandalf on Youtube
Links
Ian Richardson
Christopher Lee
Dracula
Douglas Adams
Mort
Marc Warren
Doctor Who "Love and Monsters"
Yule Lads
The Vor Game
The X-Files
'Salem's Lot
Arthur Christmas
The Santa Clause
Piers Anthony
The Dresden Files
Xena: Warrior Princess
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Sailor Moon
Guards! Guards!
DJ Qualls
Star Trek: The Next Generation "Tuvix"
Paper Mario
Kua-Toa
Ghosts UK
Spock
King Kong
Tor Johnson
The Beast of Yucca Flats
Mystery Science Theater 3000
Ed Wood
Bebop and Rocksteady
Funny Games
Godzilla Minus One
Trick or Treat
-
It's Part 2 of our gigantic Dracula discussion! Special thanks to Jayme for bringing all this knowledge and enthusiasm!
Join our Discord community! Here's the link:
https://discord.gg/RBSQmeFt
Plugs
Jeff Richardson
Shattered Worlds RPG
Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?
Omniversal Escapades (Jeffâs livestreaming RPG show)
Jayme Antrim
Shattered Worlds RPG
James Lark (composer, podcaster) wrote the theme song. Licensed for show use, copyright 2024
Hereâs James website for all his activities:
jameslark.co.uk
Recommendations
Ravenous
Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat
Social Media
Jeff Richardson
@eljefetacoma on Facebook, Twitter, Bluesky, Instagram, and Mastadon
Jayme Antrim
Brandoff the Off-Brand Gandalf on Youtube
Possible show titles:
My Dude, This is Your Job
A Stake on a Steak
Mummies vs The Bronx
Dracula 2
The Stoker Necktie
Links
Hannibal
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
Salem's Lot
The Strange Case of the Alchemist's Daughter
The Bachelor
Kitchen Nightmares
Survivor
Vampires vs. The Bronx
John Carpenter's Vampires
Eyes Wide Shut
Helen Chandler
Bela Lugosi
what do you call an incel with a girlfriend?
Blade
Extended Notes
"for one who has not lived even a single lifetime, you are a wise man, Van Helsing."
Mr Mina was shocked
Harker said he looked like a wild animal
he looks outside, notices a wolf
VH explains that drac is a vamp and can turn into critters
"the strength of the vampire is that people will not believe in him."
Mina goes out walkin
finds CD, he wraps her up
Harkers says vamps are only in ghost stories
VH says some vamp lore, doesnt even worry about explaining it
he must have brought boxes of grave dirt
Renfield is eavesdropping
Renfield explains that Mina has been attacked, he thinks Harker should take her away
big bat arrives
renfield tries to apologize, warns him to escape
VH tells renfield to help
he says he cant
maid screams and runs over
miss mina is out there dead
renfield laughs all creepy like
maid passes out
renfield crawls over to her
is he gonna bite off a chunk?
Mina's still alive
VH says shes under his influence
"we must cope with it"
child crying
woman walking in dark woods
comedy intern reads paper
children describes beautiful lady in white who enticed them with chocolates, drew them into woods, and offered them chocolate
Mina saw Lucy outside after her death
Mina tried to speak to her until she realized she was dead
Lucy looked like animal, then ran into the dark
Mina asks them to save her soul
Harker says she wont die
she says dont kiss me anymore
she tells VH to make it clear to Jon
"its all over Jon. Our love, our life together."
Drac wills her
VH tells her to come inside
Harker blames VH for driving her crazy
he wants to take Mina away
VH has prepared the place to protect against Drac
she wants dad to keep Jon from leaving
nurse is ordered to keep windows shut and wolfsbane near Mina.
drac is at his coffin
three boxes of earth were deliverd to carfax abbey
VH tells Harker he cant take her or it will kill her
VH explains his occult knowledge - the only way to save her is to stake dracula
"you forget doctor that madmen have great strength."
Martin the panto orderly is shocked to learn R escaped again
Drac released him
"a red mist spread over the lawn
coming on like a flame of fire
and then he parted it
and then i could see that there were thousands of rats, with their eyes blazing red
like his, only smaller."
rats rats rats thousands millions of them all red blood, alp these will i give you if you will obey me."
daddy asks what hes meant to do
"that which had already been done"
"Dracula is in the house"!
"Van Helsing. Now that you have learned what you have learned, it would be well for you to return to your own country."
I prefer to remain and protect those whom you would destroy."
dracs blood flows through Minas veins, she will be immortal
Van Helsing promises to destroy carfax abbey and stake dracula
drac tries to summon VH, he resists but then starts to stumble forward. He regains control.
VH reaches for crucifix, drac hisses and runs off
Mina doesnt want the wolfsbane, says it stinks. she refused to stay put and went onto the terrace
Harker comes in and sees Mina all fresh as a daisy
Briggs wants her to come back in, she and JH wave her off
Mina is enticed by JHs neck
she claims to not dislike the night. she now says she loves it
Jh is trying to chase off a big bat
shes talking to it
JH is flummoxed
Mina is trying to mind control JH
shes moving in again
VH rushes in with cross
Mina tells him that drac fed her blood
Martin tries to shoot the bat
VH tells him to leave off
Martin the wacky orderly
"theyre all crazy but me and you. And sometimes i have my doubts about you."
Drac summons nurse briggs to the window
she takes down the wolfsbane
then lets him come in
VH and J follow Ren into abbey
Drac lures Mina there as well
Renfield is all stoked
he wants to serve
JH finds a grate and yells Mina
Renfield is scared, tries to run
Drac tells him to wait. he stands still
Drac approaches. Renfield whines
R whines while Drac chokes him and drops him down the stairs
he runs to basement with Mina
closes and locks the door
the boys rush in and find no one
they hunt around a bit
for some reason drac is asleep
(we havent seen any indication of dawn)
VH opens the other coffin, doesnt let JH see
sends him off for a rock
rips up the lid to make stakes
Jh comes back
VH says Minas not there
JH goes looking
Minas in corner wailing
they meet up and hug
"the daylight stopped him."
Harker walks her up the stairs to the sound of bells
wtf
"arent you coming with us?
not yet not presently"
"come, john" last line
so she hasnt yet been turned?
this movie is skimpy on the rules
is Mina now a daywalker?
-
In this one, Jayme Antrim swings by to discuss Dracula (1931). We have a terrific time, so good in fact that we decided to do a big fat two parter!
Check out our Discord community! Here's the link:
https://discord.gg/RBSQmeFt
Jeff's podcasts
Shattered Worlds RPG
Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?
Omniversal Escapades (Jeffâs livestreaming RPG show)
James Lark (composer, podcaster) wrote the theme song for the show Licensed for show use, copyright 2024
Hereâs James website for all his activities:
jameslark.co.uk
Jeff
@eljefetacoma on Facebook, Twitter, Bluesky, Instagram, and Mastadon
Jayme Antrim
Brandoff the Offbrand Gandalf on Youtube
Possible show titles:
Shouting Dracula
A Year of Dracula
Be a Hunky Dracula
Why is There a Bug Coffin, Guys?
Bag Baby
Brooklyn Slumlord Dracula
Chicken Blood Soup for the No-souled
Take That, Great Britain!
Recommendations
Fright Night remake Tennant, Farrell
Elvira's Haunted Hills
The Vor Game by Lois McMaster Bujold
Social Media
Links
Dracula: Dead and Loving It
Lost Boys
Monster Squad
Fright Night
Chris Sarandon
The Murders in the Rue Morgue
The Cask of Amantillado
Black Cat
Berenice
Monomania
Kingdom by the Sea
Thor
The Power Pack
Spider-Man
Amethyst
Superman
Myth Adventures
Discworld
The Dark Tower
Wizard and Glass
Dreamcatcher
War of the Worlds
Peter O'Toole
Bill Nighy
Doctor Sleep
Desperation
The Shining (film)
The Shining (TV movie)
Gerald's Game
It
True Detective: Season 1
King Me
Vampire Anthology with Jayme's Dracula story
Never Say Never Again
The Hammer Brothers from Super Mario Bros
(pic of Jayme as Dracula?)
âSalem's Lot (Book)
Swan Lake
Back to the Future
Nosferatu (1922)
London After Midnight
Emperor from Star Wars
What We Do in the Shadows
The X-Files
Supernatural
American Werewolf in London
Quest for Glory 4
1931 telephones
Orientalism
Bram Stoker's Dracula
Jerusalem Cricket
Elijah Wood
Metropolis
The Mummy
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari
Hammer Horror Dracula
Christopher Lee
Dungeons & Dragons
Karl Freund
Freund's 3 camera technique
I Love Lucy
pre-Nazi German film industry
Run Lola Run
Hays Code
The Dresden Files
Hannibal Lecter
Clamps from Futurama
Salem's Lot (2024)
Gary Oldman
Max Von Sydow
Sherlock Holmes
Spanish-Language Dracula
PIC: Nosferatu doing standup?
Demon Night
Fat cats with cigars
Munmun
Secret of Nimh
The Littles
Chip N' Dale's Rescue Rangers
Cats
British pronunciation
So I Murdered an Axe Murderer
Inglorious Basterds
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Ragtime by ER Doctorow (CORRECTION: nominated for Nebula but didn't win)
Hyperion
Extended Notes
pretty canyon painting
among the peaks bygone age
five passengers in coach
tourist lady reading from the book
local says tonight is bad news
nosferatu
to the virgin we pray
geese in the yard!
working people come out to see the coach
ladies hide behind windows
porter starts unloading all the luggage
this dude sounds American
he says not to take down his luggage
innkeeper wants him to wait
hes meeting another coach on Borgo pass at midnight
count draculus
count draculas name scares the hell out of these rubes
"no. you mustn't go there.
we people of the mountains believe that at the castle there are vampires, dracula and his wives, they take the form of wolves and bats. they leave their coffins at night and feed on the blood of the living."
fancy lad is unmoved, he is set on meeting the other coach
(this dude kind of reminds me of my brother - his bright-eyed desire to gain secret knowledge and meet interesting people)
innkeeper's wife gives him her crucifix
everyone is sad that hes going
foreboding clifftop castle
this crypt looks like state of decay
these shots are real arty, like a fellini joint
slow drac and his three spooky wives
we got us a real eye gore (is it Dracula? the implication in the book is that it was)
this dude has a real penetrating stare
spooky af
great fogslashdust effect as carriage rolls up the hill
wtf theres a bat over the horses and no driver
i dont think you could pay me to go through with this
this dude walks smoothly and silently
this dude has real elijah wood face
its mister renfield
every shot hes in makes him small and weak
its so 3D
real black lodge motherfucker right here
drac cant resist blood
but the crucifix freaks him out
renfield not looking too good
dracs fingers are so scary
renfields spooky smile after drac kills crew
renfield now at sewards sanitarium
drac lookin fly
cop whistles and pleather capes
drac mind controls lady at theater
introduces himself to rich moustacheman
his daugter Mina, miss lucy weston, and mina's husband Jonathan
drac compares his castle in transylvania to carfax abb
"to die, to be really dead. That must be glorious." mh: "oh but count dracula." dr: "there are far worse things awaiting man than death."
Lucy tells Mina shes hot for drac. Mina thinks she should chase someone normal
outside Westons place, drac hangs out like a creep
28:00 lucy in bed reading, bigass bat at the window. she doesnt notice it, drifts off. then bat enters and drac advanced with his scary claw fingies
he gets his face right up near lucys neck. so rapey
at seward sanitarium we see an auditorium where they examine Lucy's corpse.
"on the throat of each victim, the same two marks."
Martin the orderly chucks Renfields spider out the window. He is real weird about it
we see oldman doing experiences
gentlemen, we are dealing with the undead. yes nesferatu
professor tells mustache drac is def a vampire
renfield comes in, oldman tries to touch his hand. he recoils
"keep your filthy hands to yourself!"
someone thinks they heard a wolf
annnoying comedy orderly says
"ee thinks theyre owlin back at him! hes cryzy!"
Van Helsing shoves wolfsbane in Rs face, hes like
"you know too much to live Van Helsing"
Renfield doesnt want to do something to Mina but doesnt explain what it is
Drac enters Mina's room, makes the grimace and leans forward
Mina talks about her dream thing the next day
room full of mist
lamp "a tiny spark in the fog"
"And then i saw two red eyes starinf at me and a white livid face came down out of the mist"
Harker tells her it was a dream
"it seemed as if all the life had been drained out of me"
Harker gaslights her
Van Helsing taps in
Harker claims she's hiding something
"is there anything the matter with your throat"
van helsing checks her neck
consent means nothing in 1931 apparently
bite showed up the morning after
"what could have caused them, Doctor?" "Count Dracula." interesting mashup
Mina isnt afraid of Drac?
Drac recognizes Van Helsings name
Count claims to have told her vampire stories
Harkers seems jealous of dracs attention
Van Helsing realizes Drac has no reflection
Dad tells her to go to bed, she objects
Drac reiterates, she goes with no complaint
VH shows Harker the mirror. Hes stunned
Van Helsing asks drac to look at the mirror. Drac reacts with fury and knocks it away
are dracs afraid of seeing themselves? are they ashamed of having no reflection? does it remind them they have no soul?
-
[Editorâs note: Jeff said some things about George W. Bush that havenât necessarily been proven in court. We encourage you to read up on the issue to learn what has and hasnât been corroborated publicly.]
In this one, Sofia B returns to discuss chapters 3 thru 5 of The Vor Game by Lois McMaster Bujold. Miles gets in over his head and goes head to head with a dangerous superior.
Please join our Discord server and get to know the fam!
https://discord.gg/vtJnpkhd
Plugs
Check out Sofiaâs interview on Jeffâs other show, Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?:
https://awesomepodnw.libsyn.com/episode-149-saving-the-wetlands-ft-sofia-buhrgard
Jeff's podcasts
Shattered Worlds RPG
Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?
Omniversal Escapades (Jeffâs livestreaming RPG show)
James Lark (composer, podcaster) wrote the theme song for the show Licensed for show use, copyright 2024
Hereâs James website for all his activities:
jameslark.co.uk
Recommendation
Pantheon (tv series) - Based on the short story collection by Ken Liu
Anti-Recommendation
The Culture series by I.M. Banks
Social Media
None for Sofia R unless you're looking for traffic planning - if so hit us up and we'll connect you!
Jeff Richardson@eljefetacoma on Facebook, Bluesky, Instagram, and Mastadon
Shattered Worlds RPG
Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?
Omniversal Escapades (Jeffâs livestreaming RPG show)
Possible Show Titles
I Gotta Get a Cloak
Sinister Assistant
A Well-Known Sneaky Guy
The Other Empire
Links
Tulsi Gabbard
General Patton
Red Dwarf
General MacArthur
Natasha Winters from Spoil Me
Star Trek: Voyager
George W Bush and the Air National Guard
A Song of Ice and Fire
The Expanse
Bones McCoy
Battlestar Galactica
Lord of the Rings
what makes a novella?
The Body
Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption
Different Seasons
Philip K Dick
the new S.A. Corey novella
Extended Notes
chapter 3
1
he survived the cold
hes recovering in the infirmary
he fantasizes about what impsec would do to the motor pool guys
they hadnt meant to murder him so he lets it go
2
M asks if they treat a lot of frostbite
corpsman has to send him packing
3
do many people lose scat cats?
not too many
the commandant has been ripshit about it
he goes home and realizes he doesnt have the correct uniform since he lost his boots and trousers in the mud
he couldnt borrow from anyone because they wouldnt fit his unusual anatomy
4
"He cursed under his breath and shucked on his dress greens, complete with mirror-polished boots to the knees. At least the boots obviated the need for leg braces."
Miles thinks about how he failed to avoid the problem. He always seems committed to improving his behavior. Very ambitious
"Today, the general was aggressively dressed in black fatigues. At Metzovâs altitude in the hierarchy, this stylistic choice usually indicated a deliberate identification with The Fighting Man. The only concession to his rank was their pressed neatness. His decorations were stripped down to a mere modest three, all high combat commendations. Pseudo-modest; pruned of the surrounding foliage, they leapt to the eye. Mentally, Miles applauded, even envied, the effect. Metzov looked his part, the combat commander, absolutely, unconsciously natural."
5
Miles realizes hes fulfilling an embarrassing stereotype
a Vor lordling in riding boots
He thinks to himself: "I didnât design the damned boots. His father had once suggested that his staff officers must need them for riding hobbyhorses, high horses, and nightmares. Unable to think of a useful reply to the generalâs sally, Miles stood in dignified silence, chin lifted, parade rest. âSir.â"
6
Metzov goes in on poor Miles about his fanciness and failure
he finds out the permafrost zones were represented by blue on the maps which hed have known if hed read the regulations, which hed have done if his boss wasnt a total wreck
7
Metzov is being a real douche
"The authority lent Miles by his uniform barely balanced the deformities that made him a target of Barrayarâs historically grounded, intense genetic prejudices. A public humiliation that sapped that authority before men he must also command came very close to an act of sabotage. Deliberate, or unconscious?"
Miles references how he nearly wasnt born because of an attack during Vordarians Pretendership
8
Metzov thinks what they need is a fresh war every few years to toughen up the troops
Metzov says some sexist shit and Miles internally turns it around
Metzov lays out his punishment. He has to get with Lt Bonn and organize a work detail to lift the scatcat out
9
Metzov turns the screws, punishing Miles for damaging the station to save his life
Miles does not want to be insubordinate but also he has no respect for Metzov.
"'The damage I did to the weather station was not a stupid accident like the scat-cat, sir! It was necessary to my survival.â
General Metzov fixed him with a very cold eye. âMake that six hours a day, Ensign Vorkosigan.â
Miles spoke through his teeth, words jerked out as though by pliers. âWould you have preferred the interview youâd be having right now if Iâd permitted myself to freeze, sir?â"
Metzov is shooting daggers
10
Miles leaves the office and starts to unravel
he got too used to being around bigwigs
he doesnt know how to shut up and serve
Miles wonders if Metzov is political
11
M realizes that there could be myriad reasons why Metzov is a bust
Milo tells himself hes just gonna have to avoid Metzov
foreshadowing about Ahn and Metzov!
Bonn and Miles are stomping around, trying to find the scatcat
12
Miles learns that the ice forms under the bog, making it solidish ground unless it gets warm enough then it melts
""Midwinter, you could park a freight shuttle on this bog. Come summer, it thins out. It can thaw from seeming-solid to liquid in a few hours, when the temperature is just right, and back again.â
âI . . . think I found that out.â"
13
Bonn finds the scatcat with a probe
he signals the hovercab
hovercab flies over and sucks the thing out of the ice
14
Miles explains how he almost died
goes to look for his boots
only finds one
"Bonn frowned down at the ruined boot dangling from Milesâs hand. âYou could have been killed,â he said in a tone of realization."
15
Bonn finds it odd that Miles wont turn in Pattas from the motor pool
Miles explains the situation
16
he tells Bonn why he's here,
to earn his spot on the new ship
Miles jokes that Vor promises dont mean much
17
Bonn delivers Pattas and Olney to Miles in the morning
they get to work cleaning all the equipment that had been submerged
Miles heads off to work, musing how these two must be confused
18
next day he Olney and Pattas had culvert duty
he really got into it
19
Miles finds a plugged culvert with water pooling on one side
he realizes hes the only one narrow enough to get through the drain
20
he finds a corpse!
chapter 4
page 1
surgeon arrives
miles and crew close off one end of drain
surgeon determines he drowned, no signs of foul play
page 2
"Does this sort of thing happen often around here?â Miles inquired mildly.
The surgeon shot him a sour look. âI slab a few idiots every year. What dâyou expect, when you put five thousand kids between the ages of eighteen and twenty together on an island and tell âem to go play war? I admit, this one seems to have discovered a completely new method of slabbing himself. I guess you never see it all.â"
miles went in to search but found nothing but a handlight
original impressions suggest the guy was alone
Pattas is surprised Miles seems unimpressed by the mans body
page 3
Pattas asks if hes seen a body before
Miles thinks about it
"Miles hesitated. Events of three years ago flickered through his memory. The brief months heâd been caught in desperate combat far from home, having accidentally fallen in with a space mercenary force, was not a secret to be mentioned or even hinted at here. Regular Imperial troops despised mercenaries anyway, alive or dead. But the Tau Verde campaign had surely taught him the difference between practice and real, between war and war games, and that death had subtler vectors than direct touch. âBefore,â said Miles dampingly. âCouple of times.â"
later he gets a call from someone in Vorbarr Sultana
handsome Ivan is on the other end
he wanted to show Miles his new apartment
page 4
Miles used to live in the capitol, he finds it strange to see again
Ivan has a webcam you can turn around 360, shows Miles the room
he gets a wave of homesickness
Ivan has a new girlfriend
Ivan noticed Miles is soaked, asks what he's been doing
forensic plumbing
"howâs life in the infantry?â
âOh, great. Lazkowski Base is the real thing, yâknow.â Miles did not define what real thing. âNot a . . . warehouse for excess Vor lordlings like Imperial Headquarters.â"
Ivan explains how fun his job is, getting to see info from all over the empire
page 5
"Voices from another universe. At that, Vorbarr Sultana was only a couple of hours away by sub-orbital flight. In theory. Miles was obscurely comforted to be reminded that the whole planet hadnât shrunk to the lead-gray horizons of Kyril Island, even if his part of it seemed to have."
later he goes to the infirmary to talk to the surgeon
surgeon explains that the guy got stuck and died within thirty minutes. "death by misadventure"."
Miles asks why he doesnt want to know more
page 6
surgeon isnt interested. just death by stupidity, details irrelevant
Miles goes jogging
arrives at culverts
"The road was lonely, out by the empty practice fields. The sun crawled crabwise toward the horizon. Miles broke from a jog back to a walk, then to a slower walk. His leg-braces chafed, beneath his pants. One of these days very soon he would take the time to get the brittle long bones in his legs replaced with synthetics. At that, elective surgery might be a quasi-legitimate way to lever himself off Kyril Island, if things grew too desperate before his six months were up. It seemed like cheating, though."
he tries to figure out why the guy chose that particular culvert
he takes a slightly wider one and voila finds
7
a package taped to the roof
his mind races, thinking of the glory
"Pastries. A couple of dozen lisettes, a kind of miniature popover glazed and stuffed with candied fruit, made, traditionally, for the Midsummer Day celebration. Month-and-a-half-old stale pastries. What a cause to die for."
doc isnt impressed
"The surgeonâs only comment, when Miles caught up with him and explained his findings, was âYep. Death from stupidity, all right.â Absently, the man bit into a lisette and sniffed."
8
he see Lt Ahn off
Ahn leaves him with a cryptic warning
"he can be a funny kind of dangerous. dont ever really threaten him, huh?"
Ahn tells him not to risk pissing him off
9
Miles decides to look into Metzovs record
clearly something happened during the Komarr revolt that got him sent to Kyril Island
he comes to a redacted section and decides to call a contact with security clearance
its Ivan!
10
"Yeah, the old manâs stuck in committee. Nice little flapâa Barrayaran-registered freighter got itself impounded in the Hegen Hubâat Vervain Stationâfor suspicion of espionage.â
surely this wont end up having something to do with the story later
Ivan gets stopped by an impsec warning, explains how he cant get any data out
Miles tells him how he can make the two computers talk to each other, bypassing all security
11
Miles finds out Metzov probably killed a dude who killed a guard trying to escape
And there the info ended
Miles tries to get Ivan on board
"You,â said Ivan severely, âare career-poison. Never darken my vidplate again. Except at home, of course.â
12
5000 grubs arrive!
some grubs strted a fire lighting farts
Miles suggested they solve the problem by taking red bean stew off the menu
"Three months down, three to go. It was getting darker."
chapter 5
1
not the wahwah warning?
silence was baffling
some sort of accident in a toxic stores bunker
2
they join a big gang of folks at the bunker, including fire marshall and surgeon
surgeon tells them to take off everything and then decon
the bunker is full of fetaine
a terrible poison
barrels corroded over 20 years
3
Miles suggests using heat to melt the fetaine
fetaine affects reproduction
Miles busts out a full on weatherman bit
Bonn and the fire marshall plan the operation
Miles thinks about following them there
he cant risk mutating his sperm
he couldnt sleep so he's up
Metzov is in his office with Bonn
Miles steps in
Metzov says some ignorant shit
he says he isnt mad
the doc says the gear isnt good enough
5
Metzov is talking about shooting people who dont follow orders
Miles doesnt like what hes seeing
were gonna have a good old fashioned discipline parade
6
Metzov has a bunch of guys lined up
"the really old-fashioned discipline parades had involved lead-lined rubber hoses. How far back in Barrayaran history was Metzovâs mind rooted?"
Metzov explains why it was good to have multiple military branches so they could shoot each other
mutiny?!
"'Principle, sir, what principle? Itâs waste disposal,â Miles choked."
7
a bunch of grubs with nerve disruptors (which sound hella scary)
Miles thinks about how these kids arent trained enough for these weapons
Metzov orders the techs to strip
Miles thinks about how evil fetaine is and how screwy it is for barrayar to have made it
Bonn strips and joins the line
8
"No, no, no! Miles screamed inside his head. If you join them theyâll never back down. Theyâll know theyâre right. Bad mistake, bad . . . "
Metzov tells Miles to grab a gun or get gone.
someone gives Miles a disruptor
"He could leave. Could he leave?"
he realizes this is gonna be a massacre
he ponders the thorniness of the issue, how his dad taught about how to handle criminal orders
it was a powerful class
they called it Vorkosigan's Day
9
"For a lunatic moment Miles envisioned thumbing off the safety and shooting Metzov. And then what, shoot the grubs? He couldnât possibly get them all before they got him.
I could be the only soldier here under thirty whoâs ever killed an enemy before, in battle or out of it."
M realizes he has no choice. his career is toast, he knows hed be haunted by ghosts if he doesnt join the others
"He sat on the ground. Pulled off his gloves and boots. Let his parka fall, and his shirts. Trousers and thermal underwear atop the pile, and the nerve disruptor nested carefully on them. He stepped forward. His leg braces felt like icicles against his calves.
I hate passive resistance. I really, really hate it."
"What the hell do you think youâre doing, Ensign?â Metzov snarled as Miles limped past him.
âBreaking this up, sir,â Miles replied steadily"
Metzov calls him Vorkosigan, which could only stiffen his resolve. hes honorbound to do the right thing
10
Miles calls him Mad Metzov in his head
Miles explains the situation. If people learn what happened it would be bad for Metzov
"S-s-sorry, sir, but I see at least ten witnesses, behind those nerve disruptors.â
"You canât silence me. Living or dead, through my mouth or yoursâor theirsâI will testify.â"
11
Miles gives Metzov a win, explaining how it could benefit him
Metzov calls his dad a nasty name
Miles gets him to go for the deal
he sees the relief in Metzovs eyes
"It reminded him of that definition of his fatherâs. A weapon is a device for making your enemy change his mind. The mind was the first and final battleground; the stuff in between was just noise."
Bonn asks am i supposed to thank you for this?
"We got what we wanted, eh? Heâs going to plasma the fetaine on-site before the wind shifts in the morning. Nobody dies. Nobody gets their nuts curdled. We win. I think.â"
12
Bonn and Miles are cellmates
Bonn just confirmed that the bunker was melted
guards take Miles to base security
Impsec is there as Miles arrives
Miles signs some travel orders
13
Miles is stoked to see the impsec courier thinking hes there to help
Metzov comes in all pleased
says if a vor commits mutiny its treason
Miles realizes now that the big guy is his new jailer
"Overholt, read the name on the manâs badge, which Miles mentally redubbed Overkill. He had only to lift his arm to dangle Miles like a kitten."
14
theyre taking him to imperial hq
"The Imperial Security sub-orbital courier shuttle sat on the icy concrete like a bird of prey accidentally placed in a pigeon cote. Slick and black and deadly, it seemed to break the sound barrier just resting there."
Miles can smell the weather - conflicting emotions
-
In this one, Sofia B drops by to discuss traffic planning, terminators, and Jeff's favorite science fiction novel, The Vor Game by Lois McMaster Bujold.
Sofia will return soon to discuss The Vor Game, Chapters 3 thru 5 soon. Get in on the fun by sending your thoughts to: [email protected]
Please join our Discord server and get to know the fam!
https://discord.gg/vtJnpkhd
Check out Sofiaâs interview on Jeffâs other show, Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?:
https://awesomepodnw.libsyn.com/episode-149-saving-the-wetlands-ft-sofia-buhrgard
Jeff's podcasts
Shattered Worlds RPG
Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?
Omniversal Escapades (Jeffâs livestreaming RPG show)
James Lark (composer, podcaster) wrote the theme song for the show Licensed for show use, copyright 2024
Hereâs James website for all his activities:
jameslark.co.uk
Recommendations
The Lost Cause by Cory Doctorow
A Deadly Education and Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik
Social Media
None for Sofia R unless you're looking for traffic planning - if so hit us up and we'll connect you!
Jeff Richardson
@eljefetacoma on Facebook, Bluesky, Instagram, and Mastadon
Shattered Worlds RPG
Everything is Awesome with Jeff and ?
Omniversal Escapades (Jeffâs livestreaming RPG show)
Links
Dandelion Dynasty
Dune
The Mars Trilogy
The Expanse
The Dresden Files
Whiplash
Starship Enterprise
GI Jane
Iraq War
Abu Ghraib lady
Jessica Lynch
Meg Ryan movie pilot
Terminator 2: Judgment Day
The Terminator
Murmansk
Insomnia
Desperation
The Dark Tower
Extended Notes
chapter 1
page 1
plastic flimsie - apparently we're still using plastic centuries from now - hopefully its made of bamboo or hemp or something biodegradable
maybe their matter recyclers break them down so they dont sit in landfills
so we're in an empire
page 2
chief of impsec illyan who remembered everything
the emperor is young? if hes near military academy age thatd be 23 plus
Vorish types? whats that?
page 3
ship duty is the most sought after appointment
ive been interviewing my dad and he got ship duty, though he wasnt academy trained
"'So what have they done to you this time?â asked Plause, clearly prepared to offer congratulations or sympathy as indicated."
Ivans Miles's cousin? also Miles has physical handicaps. long description of what it was like being made taller
page 4
miles isnt built for infantry
Major Cecil has a sense of humor
page 5
miles insurbodination
"your most insidious chronic problem is in the area of . . . how shall I put this precisely . . . subordination. You argue too much.â
âNo, I donât,â Miles began indignantly, then shut his mouth."
page 6
Miles is a manipulator par excellence
if he keeps his nose clean and gets along with his officers and subordinates hell be recommended for ship duty on a shipnthat sounds a lot like the enterprise
page 7
"your saving grace. Mutant"
there are mutants in this story? and Miles is proving their worth?
"Weâre not trying to make it impossible, Ensign.â
Merely very difficult. âIâm glad to know that too. Sir.â Milesâs parting salute was almost subordinate."
page 8
"A couple of the black-clad men, watching him as he hopped down from the ramp, made remarks to each other in Barrayaran Greek, a minority dialect of Earth origin, thoroughly debased in the centuries of the Time of Isolation."
so we have greeks on a different planet who still speak greek, this isnt earth and were after something called the time of isolation
Miles can speak Greek but he plays it cool
its a mutant! lets talk disability and how folks treated disabled folks in the 90s
its horrible that you could be beaten to death in this society for being too different. also a good sign of Miles's character that he acknowledges his privilege. That sort of thing was much less common in the 90s
the vorkosigans own district? is that where they live or do they rule it? is Miles a prince?
"Yes, rank, social or military, had its uses. Miles meant to acquire all he could before he was done."
page 9
he chooses to walk rather than inconvenience the jerks
his disabiity sounds severe, having to wear braces and having trouble walking very far
his pride makes him hide his trouble
base is free of infantry until summer
page 10
the air inside is 98.6! who works here?
the meteorology officer is a drunk in his underwear
page 11
this is Lieutenant Anh
hes been in this terrible assignment for fifteen years
you have to wonder what he could have done to deserve that
he runs into a jogging sergeant maybe in the lobby
page 12
"Miles stood with his legs slightly apart, threw back his head, and stared up with equal force. The man seemed totally oblivious to Milesâs collar tabs. Exasperated, Miles snapped, âAre all the keepers on vacation, or is anybody actually running this bloody zoo?'"
"With a cold flare of his carved nostril, the Base Commander glared down at Miles and growled, âI run it, Ensign."
Chapter 2
page 1
Anh is awake, hungover, and breathing poorly
"Ha?â Ahn looked up, and returned his salute automatically. âWhat the devil are you, ah . . . Ensign?â
this dude lost an entire day
Miles seizes the chance to trick this dude into teaching him something
Anh looks him over ever so briefly and moves on
he names all the computers womens names
page 2
he tapes the procedural discs under each piece of gear
he names his coffee pot Georgette
Anh turns in a slow 360 to meditate (or maybe predict the weather?)
just past the shortest night of the year
in summer
must be the north pole?
"Kyril Island was an egg-shaped lump about seventy kilometers wide and one-hundred-sixty kilometers long, and over five hundred kilometers from the next land of any description. Lumpy and brown described most of it, both base and island."
nobody bothered with agricultural terraforming
so this is a thing now, making worlds more like earth
talking about bleakness
"To the near south, the leaden sea heaved, muting the sunâs best efforts at sparkle. To the far north a gray line marked the border of the tundra at a chain of dead volcanic mountains."
hed been in snow before but here the sea air seeps into his bones at every old break (which is many)
page 3
Anh is shocked to learn that Miles's dad is Lord Vorkosigan
Admiral Count, conqueror of Komarr, hero of Escobar, Lord Regent to the emperor
"I have seen him laugh in pure delight, standing on the dock at Vorkosigan Surleau and yelling instructions over the water, the morning I first sailed, dumped, and righted the skimmer by myself. I have seen him weep till his nose ran, more dead drunk than you were yesterday, Ahn, the night we got the word Major Duvallier was executed for espionage. I have seen him rage, so brick-red we feared for his heart, when the reports came in fully detailing the stupidities that led to the last riots in Solstice. I have seen him wandering around Vorkosigan House at dawn in his underwear, yawning and prodding my sleepy mother into helping him find two matching socks. Heâs not like anything, Ahn. Heâs the original.
âHe cares about Barrayar,â Miles said aloud at last, as the silence grew awkward. âHeâs . . . a hard act to follow.â
Miles think Ahn would be more prejudiced if he wasnt so stoked about his coming retirement
page 4
What is Vor?
"Iâm Vor,â said Miles impatiently. âI serve. Or at any rate, I try to. Wherever Iâm put. That was the deal.â
what are wah-wahs?
Miles doesnt mind beatings but he hates
practical jokes - same
explains ropes between buildings and how to fall without breaking bones
"...you must never let yourself get caught without your cold gear, or more than fifteen minutes away from a bunker. Thereâs bunkers all around the grubsâ practice fields out there.â Ahn waved his arm in that direction. He seemed quite serious, even earnest. âYou hear that siren, you run like hell for cover. The size you are, if you ever got picked up and blown into the sea, theyâd never find you again.'"
spoiler alert - good foreshadowing about the dangers and the bunkers
he wonders how Anh gets his numbers
page 5
"'Youâre not just making them up, are you?â said Miles in suspicion.
âNo!â said Ahn. âI hadnât thought about it, but . . . itâs the way the day smells, I guess.â He inhaled deeply, by way of demonstration."
theres no such thing as a smellometer
"When Ahn leaves, this island is going to experience an 11-to-21% drop in forecast accuracy. Theyâre going to notice."
page 6
Anh is trashed so Miles gets to work
more good foreshadowing
"Base personnel, Miles had been given to understand, had grown extremely tired of picking lost antigrav sleds out of the frigid sea. Not to mention their late drivers."
one of the ableist Greeks from earlier is at the motor pool when Miles gets there
page 7
Miles has to constantly preclvent himself from going off, but hes gotten good at it
"Concentrate on the task, not the bloody audience. Youâve always had an audience. Probably always will."
he realizes its gonna be a year or two before people respect him every time he goes to a new post
page 8
hes enjoying being alone for once
hes late so he decided to camp out for four hours til its light again
he parks where Pattas told him to park
on a video he saw a portapotty flying horizontally and decides he needs to weigh down his tent
page 9
to that end he attaches a chain from his tent to the scat cat
he reads, goes to sleep, then wakes up in darkness even though it should be bright out
hes experiencing carbon monoxide poisoning and is stuck in the muck, tent all squished up
"Miles shoved one finger against the thin cold plastic. It yielded slowly, like soft butter, and retained the dented impression. What the hell . . . ?"
hes underground, stuck in some sort of slow mud
page 10
he tells himself to relax
he thinks about the ice poking tube in the scat cat, then realizes the scat cat is pulling him down
he hs a terrible vision of people finding his gross body
he gets a rib from the tent and pokes it through a small gap in the zipper
"Heâd feared the black mud would pour in, drowning him at once, but it only crept in extrusive blobs, to fall with oozing plops. The comparison was obvious and repulsive. God, and I thought Iâd been in deep shit before."
he turns the heat tube off to put in his pocket and its pitch black
hes running out of time
page 11
he unzips his boots and undoes his belt buckle
he pulls in tons of mud to make room, then surges upward
"His legs slid out of his boots and pants, his hips sucked free, and he rolled away. He lay spread-eagled for maximum support on the treacherous surface, faceup to the gray swirling sky. His uniform jacket and long underwear were soaked with slime, and heâd lost one thermal sock, as well as both boots and his trousers.
It was sleeting."
later his colleagues find him freezing in the weather station, having busted a piece of equipment to use to signal Anh back in HQ. He's alive, but boy is he pissed
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