Afleveringen
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Why do we become obsessed with people who don't want us back? Even when we know it will never work? Even when we know there's no convincing them? In this episode, we unpack the psychology behind unrequited love, limerence, longing, and the irresistible pull of unavailable people, including:
The neuroscience of craving, attraction, and obsession How intermittent reinforcement keeps us emotionally hooked Jacques Lacan's "object of desire" theory Why high achievers often struggle with unrequited love The role of limerence, fantasy, and idealisation The Zeigarnik Effect and our need for closure Practical strategies to finally move on and let go Creating your own closure when none is given Plus so so much moreIf you've ever found yourself unable to stop thinking about someone who doesn't feel the same way, this episode is for you. Together, we'll explore why it happens, what it reveals about us, and how to break free from the cycle
Watch on Netflix: HERE
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s
For business: [email protected]
The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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We all have something about our behaviour or our lives we really want to change. But every time we go to try, we find we lose motivation very quickly and end up back where we started with the behaviour still in tact. Whether it's quitting smoking, exercising more, wanting to eat healthier, sleep better, stop gossiping, be a better partner; bad habits usually all have the same psychology.
In today's episode we invited on Harvard-trained behavioural scientist & BCG Managing Director, Julia Dhar, to give us the step by step guide to changing bad habits. We talk about:
Where bad habits come from? Why bad habits stick? What's happening in our brain when we can't quit a bad habit? The 3 principles of behaviour change you need to know to change How to help OTHERS change when they don't want to? Why your approach to failing will determine if you're successful Plus much more!Happy listening!
Buy Julia's book here: How Change Really Works
Watch her TedTalk here: How to Disagree Productively
Watch on Netflix: HERE
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s
For business: [email protected]
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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Your hobbies may be just as important as your friendships in your 20s. But whilst you may dedicate 10-15 hours a week to your friends, most of us can go a week or two without actually performing our hobbies. Why is that, and what is the consequence?In today's episode we break down the psychology of why our hobbies are so important, including:
The debate around what makes a hobby How many hobbies do you actually need? How much time should you spend doing your hobbies? The Rule of Four for hobbies The psychological benefits The 3 major reasons we struggle to perform our hobbies How to find time, inspiration and motivation for your hobbies, and moreListen now if you want to make more of your leisure time!
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business: [email protected]
The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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We’re all familiar with the story of the boy who wouldn’t grow up: Peter Pan. But when someone displays similar traits in real life - issues with commitment, responsibilities, and adulting in general - they might be experiencing what’s referred to as Peter Pan Syndrome. In this episode, we break down the psychology of Peter Pan Syndrome, including why it happens, the frustration it causes those in its orbit, and how to learn to grow up - at last.
We unpack:
• The key characteristics of Peter Pan Syndrome
• Why being coddled or never disciplined as a child can lead to struggles with ‘adulting’
• How ‘Wendy Syndrome’ can act as an enabler for Peter Pan Syndrome
• What it feels like to date someone with Peter Pan Syndrome
• How to overcome Peter Pan SyndromeWatch on Netflix: HERE
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s
For business: [email protected]
Our favourite sources:
www.health.clevelandclinic.org/peter-pan-syndromehttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-do-life/201605/the-peter-pan-syndrome
https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.1006.8462&rep=rep1&type=pdf
The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Being your own harshest critic can feel productive, protective, even familiar, but over time, it becomes less of a motivator and more of a cage. In this episode, we explore the psychology of self-hatred - where it begins, how it becomes a deeply ingrained, and what it actually steals from us over time.
We explore:
• How early experiences shape the inner critic
• Why self-hatred can feel protective
• The myth of cruelty as a motivator
• The neural pattern of self-hatred
• The role of self sabotaging
• 6 practical tips to build a better relationship with yourselfWatch on Netflix: HERE
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s
For business: [email protected]
Our favourite sources:
https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.2044-8341.2011.02044.xhttps://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0146167211410246
https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fa0033904
The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Weed can be relaxing, funny, creative, and social - until it isn’t. In this episode, we look at what weed is actually doing in the brain, why it can calm one person and overwhelm another, and how it can change from something enjoyable into something we start leaning on for out emotional wellbeing.
We explore:
• What actually happens to our brains when we’re high
• What THC and CBD actually are, and how they differ
• Why weed can make some people anxious, hungry, or more creative
• When weed becomes less about fun and more about coping, avoidance, or escape
• How smoking can shape memory, motivation, and everyday connection
• The signs your relationship with weed might be changingWatch on Netflix: HERE
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s
For business: [email protected]
Our favourite sources:
https://hms.harvard.edu/news-events/publications-archive/brain/cannabis-brainhttps://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/nutrition-research-reviews/article/endocannabinoid-system-and-appetite-relevance-for-food-reward/30C65E719848770761B6BEA7D0C1E9CB
https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2829657
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/brb3.71102
The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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When we’re detached from our emotions, things can feel a little… flat. But though our brain might be trying to protect us from harm, emotionally detaching stops us from being able to appreciate the true richness of life. In this episode, we’ll unpack why emotional blunting occurs, the ways we might be avoiding our true emotions, and look at some ways to actually start to process your emotions.
We explore:
• Why we’re bad at feeling what we’re feeling
• The hidden strategies we use to push our emotions away
• How maladaptive coping mechanisms can cause us long-term harm
• Why most emotions are actually driven by fear
• How we can more effectively process our emotionsWatch on Netflix: HERE
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s
For business: [email protected]
Our favourite sources:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12916575/
https://positivepsychology.com/maladaptive-coping/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/basics/intellectualizationThe Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Endless studies show that the strength of our relationships is the biggest indicator for our happiness and wellbeing. So when we fall out with a friend, it can feel absolutely devastating, and leave us wondering how to repair and reconnect. In this episode, we explore why friendship break-ups can be more painful than romantic ones, how our ego gets in the way of reconnecting, and ways that we can rebuild a fractured friendship.
We explore:
• The different types of friendship fallouts
• Why avoiding conflict can actually be a form of control
• How to reach out after a conflict
• The importance of recognising when you do - and don’t - want to be friends again
• Why listening is often the best way to be heardWatch on Netflix: HERE
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s
For business: [email protected]
Our favourite sources:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11894851/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/tech-happy-life/202101/why-is-it-so-hard-admit-when-we-are-wrong
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8573342/
The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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In our 20s, we can feel intense pressure to be extraordinary, to stand head and shoulders above the pack, to thrive across all aspects of our life. But when we put pressure on ourselves to be extraordinary, we can fall victim to social comparison, lose sight of what we really want, and experience long-term feelings of inadequacy. In this episode, unpack where the pressure to be extraordinary comes from, and reframe our thinking towards a healthier, more balanced approach.
We explore:
• How social media creates an ‘artificial average’, making us feel inadequate
• Why being gifted as a child can lead to burnout as an adult
• The myth of linear success, and why taking a scenic route is just as worthy
• Why learned helplessness can make us stop trying at all
• How we can expand our definition of being ‘extraordinary’ into many areas
• Why our relationships, not our work achievements, are the biggest predictor of long-term happinessWatch on Netflix: HERE
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s
For business: [email protected]
Our favourite sources:
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2020/nov/05/under-pressure-why-athletes-choke
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KkKuTCFvzI
https://paulasanderson.com/2020/12/04/30-under-30-and-the-pressure-to-be-extraordinary/
The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Anxiety has a way of making ordinary moments feel life-or-death. A simple interaction can feel significant, a passing thought can spiral into catastrophe, and your body can react as if something is deeply wrong - even when rationally you know you’re probably okay. In this episode, we get into the neuroscience behind anxiety - why your brain becomes obsessed with certain thoughts, why false alarms feel so convincing, and what actually helps when you want to feel less trapped inside your own mind.
We explore:
• Why anxiety feels so intense and urgent
• Our physical and emotional reactions to anxiety
• The role of GABA and glutamate in anxiety
• Why trying to ‘stop thinking about it’ doesn’t work
• How avoidance perpetuates the anxious cycle
• Practical ways for living with an anxious brainHappy listening!
Watch on Netflix: HERE
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s
For business: [email protected]
Our favourite sources:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9559819/
https://www.nature.com/articles/nrn2555
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41386-022-01332-2
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S027273580000057X
The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Most people would know the term: dopamine. It's the world's most famous neurotransmitter, known for it's role in happiness and pleasure. What if I told you, most of us have it all wrong. In today's episode we break down the secret history and psychology of dopamine, including:
The controversy around it's discovery How it became known as the 'pleasure' hormone Why that's actually not true It's true role in movement, motivation and memory Myth-busting dopamine detoxes plus so much moreHappy listening!
Watch on Netflix: HERE
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s
For business: [email protected]
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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When we’re ‘in a funk’, we might feel that things just aren’t going right for us, we can’t catch a break, and that life generally feels pretty flat. What’s more, we can tend to look at the world through a negative lens - which makes things worse.
In this episode, we look at why we get stuck in a funk, how our approach to fix it can lead us astray, and how we can get ourselves out of one by honouring our soul needs, reconnecting with nature, and more.
We unpack:
• The key differences between being in a funk and clinical depression
• Why monotony and boredom keep us stuck
• The danger of telling yourself to just ‘snap out of it’
• The importance of honouring our ‘soul needs’
• What we can do to rewire our brain towards a brighter futureHappy listening!
Watch on Netflix: HERE
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s
For business: [email protected]
The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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It’s easy to believe that being liked by as many people as possible is a positive attribute. But when we chase this, we risk compromising our sense of identity, alienating ourselves from others, and being confused and burnt out by a string of inauthentic connections. In this episode, we examine what drives us to people please, acknowledge our need for human connection, and learn to recognise how to shift unhealthy patterns towards healthier, self-soothing ones.
We explore:
• What drives our need to belong
• The science behind why others don’t think about us as much as we imagine
• Why being a social chameleon can make others distrust you
• Why constant social monitoring is a waste of mental energy
• How we can reframe our thinking to recognise if we truly like someone, rather than just enjoy being likedWatch on Netflix: HERE
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s
For business: [email protected]
Our favourite sources:
https://unwantedlife.me/the-spotlight-effect-and-social-anxiety-all-eyes-on-mehttps://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/when-kids-call-the-shots/201702/how-wanting-to-be-liked-gets-you-rejected
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8405711/
The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Where did this myth that our frontal lobe develops at 25 actually come from? What does the death penalty and Leonardo DiCaprio have in common? You've probably seen TikToks, videos, tweets, memes, but what is the truth about brain maturity? That is what we're breaking down today, including:
Why brain development is a lot more complicated than a number The specific role of the frontal lobe The early 2000s research that defined how we see brain development Why our brain actually develops in spurts The good news for 20 somethingsHappy listening!
Watch on Netflix: HERE
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s
For business: [email protected]
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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TW: this episode includes discussions of eating disorders.
What happens when millions of people watch you grow up online? How do you navigate change, love and making mistakes in front of a massive audience? And how do you rediscover your creativity after creating content about your life, becomes your job? In today's episode we talk to one of the original YouTube 'it-girls', Arden Rose, about early fame, body image, art and her life lessons as she enters her 30s. We discuss:
How making YouTube videos at 14 turned into a full-time job The dark side of Hollywood and the entertainment industry The biggest opportunity she missed out on...and why Veganism, diet culture and self-esteem The path back to creativity Her greatest pieces of advice for people in their 20s PLUS SO MUCH MOREHappy listening!
Watch on Netflix: HERE
Follow Arden here: @ardenrose
Watch her YouTube HERE
More links below (sorry)
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s
For business: [email protected]
The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Why does it suddenly feel like everyone has a diagnosis? From ADHD and autism to anxiety, trauma, burnout, and depression - mental health language is everywhere right now. But are rates actually rising? Or are more people finally being seen after years of being overlooked, misread, or excluded from the stereotype? In this episode, we unpack the psychology, politics, and culture of diagnosis: how diagnostic criteria have changed, why context matters, what social media has done to this conversation, and the tension between labels as affirming, or oversimplified.
We explore:
• What the data actually says about rising diagnosis rates
• Why historically missed groups are being recognised more now
• The role of context in shaping our experiences
• The risk of pathologising ordinary human struggle
• When scepticism is useful - and why it should be aimed at systems, not individuals
• Why a label can still be meaningful, helpful, and nobody else’s businessWatch on Netflix: HERE
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s
For business: [email protected]
Our favourite sources:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7422602/
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4810039/
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11747871/
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10251666/
https://reference-global.com/article/10.58734/plc-2025-0009The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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It can feel like the world - and our future - has never been more precarious or frightening. It’s a very normal response to feel anxious about it - and in many ways, being concerned is just a sign that you’re alive, switched on, and care about the what’s going on around you. But what happens when this anxiety becomes overwhelming, and we’re consumed by worry about the future? In this episode, we unpack:
• Why we’re prone to anticipatory anxiety in our 20s
• The evolutionary reasons for catastrophic thinking
• Why long-term anxiety rewires our brain
• When it’s healthy - and not healthy - to worry
• How to rebrand anxiety as excitementHappy listening!
Watch on Netflix: HERE
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s
For business: [email protected]
Or favourite sources:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3086262/#:~:text=For%20some%20individuals%2C%20uncertainty%20about,%2C%20&%20Camerer%2C%202005https://theconversation.com/how-chronic-stress-changes-the-brain-and-what-you-can-do-to-reverse-the-damage-133194
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24364682/
The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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It’s not a hot take to say that most of us are incredibly addicted to our phones. But when our usage bleeds into full-blown ‘technoference’ - technology interference - there can be significant, harmful consequences. In this episode, we explore how phones can harm our friendships and romantic relationships, including:
• How phones are replacing in-person interaction
• Why we can't help but be addicted
• The impact of 'phone snubbing' on our loved ones
• How phones are killing our sex lives
• The ways we can break our habits and find our way back to intimacyHappy listening!
Watch on Netflix: HERE
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s
For business: [email protected]
Our favourite sources from this episode:
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jan/31/age-of-intimacy-famine-interact-with-phones-rather-than-loved-ones
www.ericpickersgill.com/Removed
https://www.sellcell.com/blog/phone-addiction-statistics-watch-out-your-phone-addiction-is-making-your-dating-sex-life-toxic/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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We are bombarded with ideas about how we should look, behave, and be. But instead of trying to constantly strive for the societal ideal, we can cut through the noise another way - and that’s by cultivating self-love. The funny thing is, psychology actually shows us that the more confident and self-loving we are, the more attractive we become. It’s a win-win… if we can get there. Today, we're going to talk about how loving ourselves makes us more attractive.
We unpack:
• The power of the mind-body link and self-esteem
• Why plastic surgery might not make us happy
• The damaging physical effects of negative self-talk
• How simple behavioural changes affect how others see us
• Why cultivating self-love is the greatest gift we can give ourselvesWatch on Netflix: HERE
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s
For business: [email protected]
The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Your 20s are sold to you as the “best years of your life” - which is hilarious, considering how many of us spend them underpaid, overthinking, heartbroken, living in transitional housing, and finding a new identity every 6 months. So what does it actually mean to ‘romanticise your 20s’? In this episode, we break down romanticising as a real psychological skill - how your brain constructs meaning, why attention shapes what feels like reality, and why building a coherent life story matters most when your life feels messy.
We explore:
• Why your attention changes your experience
• The neuroscience and cognition of meaning-making
• The role of emergent adulthood
• Why narrative psychology is so important
• Five grounded ways to romanticise your lifeWatch on Netflix: HERE
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s
For business: [email protected]
Our favourite sources:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4324396/
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224545.2025.2563539
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3045747/The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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