Afleveringen
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“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel” Maya Angelou
How you make people feel is a big responsibility as a leader. While you cannot control how others perceive and receive you, you can control how you attempt to engage and lead in positive, supportive, and authentic ways.
The way you engage with the people you lead - from saying hello to delegating tasks to providing feedback to saying “Thank you” - matters.
When I was in high school I was lucky enough to have a job where my very first boss, Karen, looked me in the eye and greeted me with a big smile every single day when I arrived at work. She made me feel important and like my contributions were significant even though my work was easily the least significant in the company.
I loved working for Karen. I always knew where I stood with her. I knew I was doing a good job supporting her and the team. And, I knew she would let me know if I needed to course correct in a fumbly moment. I loved making her job just a little bit easier.
I had several bosses who followed Karen who made me feel small, insignificant, and even invisible at times. I had no desire to prove myself to these leaders. In fact, sometimes I looked forward to brushing them off the same way they did me. I knew they didn’t deserve the best parts of me, so they didn’t get them.
Great leaders' interactions with those whom they lead are consistently additive, meaning they add value to their day and their work.
In this episode, I share the story of Karen vs Ross, my first two bosses who could not have been more opposite in their leadership. In hearing about these two vastly different leadership experiences, I think you will see how the smallest moments of leadership, like saying “Hi!”, can have a big impact on your leadership legacy.
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessleadership.com/sponsor
Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected].
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In a culture that values and rewards outward confidence and assertive communication, it’s not surprising that extroverts tend to rise to the top as leaders more predominantly than introverts. Extroverts are commonly outgoing, charismatic, and less socially inhibited than introverts in group settings. While this may sound grand if you were born an extrovert, the downside to extroversion is that extroverts can take up so much space, they don’t leave space for others. As leaders, extroverts can be dismissive of introverts and miss significant opportunities to pass the mic, open the floor to other voices, and allow others to feel seen, heard, and valued.
In this episode, I dig into some of the risks associated with extroverted leadership, from overbearing communication to lackluster listening skills to overlooking others to general impatience in team environments.
I promise I’m not here to judge you. If you’re an extroverted leader who might be the loudest one in the room sometimes, know that I stand beside you. Sometimes I am you. Together, we can take our gifts and make them work for ourselves and for others. This will likely take some self-awareness and honing new skills. But, if you want to be an inclusive leader who holds space for everyone in the room, this is your job.
As your self-awareness grows, you will likely realize that you have so many valuable lessons to learn from your introverted counterparts. Introverts often have the sage wisdom that you can’t quite harness in high-stress moments. They are keen observers who see things you and I don’t see. And, their ideas and opinions are often exactly the missing pieces you’ve been looking for - if you just get quiet enough to let them speak.
Extroverted leaders can be more inclusive of introverts by adopting strategies that create space for different work styles, encourage diverse contributions, and foster a more balanced team dynamic. In this episode, I talk through specific strategies to foster safety and trust in order to create spaces where extroverts and introverts can communicate and thrive side by side.
As extroverted leaders, we have a lot to say. But our ideas are not better and are not more important. Let’s make sure we are holding space for all voices so we may all benefit from everyone’s gifts.
Link mentioned:
Join my September Influence & Ignite Retreat for small business owners: shamelessmom.com/retreat
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessleadership.com/sponsor
Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected].
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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The difference in self-assurance between men and women, particularly in professional settings, is called the confidence gap. This gap describes how, despite equal or even greater competence, women tend to underestimate their abilities and hesitate to pursue leadership roles, promotions, or high-stakes opportunities compared to men.
In this powerful episode, I dive into the challenges women in leadership face when it comes to building and maintaining confidence. I examine how gender bias, social conditioning, and systemic barriers contribute to the confidence gap that impacts women leaders at every level.
A few of the reasons women leaders struggle with confidence:
Gender Bias and Social Conditioning: Women are often subjected to cultural expectations and stereotypes that create unrealistic standards. This societal pressure fosters doubt, insecurity, and a lack of confidence in leadership roles.
The Social Constructs of Imposter Syndrome and Perfectionism: Many women leaders struggle with worthiness, feeling as if they don’t deserve their success. Perfectionism compounds this, leading to a constant sense of inadequacy.
Lack of Representation and Support: The scarcity of women in leadership positions results in fewer mentorship and sponsorship opportunities, leaving women feeling isolated and unsupported.
Microaggressions: Everyday words, actions, and undermining behaviors perpetrated by those with more power than you that may seem minor, but over time, reflect an abusive environment that greatly erodes the confidence and well-being of women leaders.
Confidence doesn’t have to remain elusive. Together, we will unpack gender bias, social conditioning, and societal constructs that undermine women’s confidence while also exploring actionable strategies to overcome these obstacles. You will walk away from this episode ready to find a strong network of women leaders, take steps to own the confidence that is your birthright and practice new communication skills that allow you to not only shine more brightly but also feel more bright as you shine in your various roles in work and life.
Link mentioned:
Join my September Influence & Ignite Retreat for small business owners: shamelessmom.com/retreat
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessleadership/sponsor
Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected].
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Building a powerful and intentional personal leadership brand is essential to your leadership legacy. Whether you're an emerging leader or a leader looking to refine your current leadership style, this episode will give you actionable steps to create a personal leadership brand that aligns with your core values and allows you to make greater ripples of impact as you lead. We explore the following key questions to help guide your journey:
What do you want to be known for as a leader?
What legacy are you intentionally building right now?
What are your current personal and leadership values, and how are you incorporating them into your work?
Here are 5 steps you can work through to build your personal leadership brand:
Identify the values you want to embody and uphold as a leader
Reflect on the values that matter most to you and how you want to embody them as a leader. These values will form the foundation of your personal leadership brand.
Determine how these values make you stand out as a leader
Understand how your unique values overlap with your strengths, talents, and gifts to differentiate you from other leaders.
Conduct a values assessment
Check in on how you are currently leading with your values and determine where there is room for growth to incorporate your values into your leadership in ways that allow your personal leadership brand to shine.
Take small steps to embody these values
Start making intentional choices that reflect the leader you want to be. Small, consistent actions over time build trust, likeability, and credibility. This is how you build your leadership capital over time.
Practice pausing in high-stress moments
In times of pressure, take a breath and a pause to reflect on how you want to show up. In this pause, you have the chance to recall your values and make a decision through the lens of your values instead of high emotions.
By taking the time to define what you stand for and practicing the embodiment of these values, you can craft a personal leadership brand that reflects your true identity and creates a lasting legacy.
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessleadership.com/sponsor
Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected].
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Today is the day! The first episode of Shameless Leadership is LIVE. I couldn’t be more excited!
In this first episode of Shameless Leadership, I dig into one of my very favorite topics: why women need to take up more space. This is a topic I have been passionate about for a long time now. In fact, you’ve likely heard me rant about it before. It feels like the perfect topic to kick off this new show for women leaders.
Recent data overwhelmingly tells us that the number of women in leadership still doesn’t come close to representing the number of women in society.
According to Leanin.org’s Women in the Workplace 2023 Report:
Women represent roughly 1 in 4 C-suite leaders, and women of color just 1 in 16.
Progress for early-career Black women remains the furthest out of reach. In 2023, for every 100 men promoted from entry-level to manager positions, only 54 Black women were promoted. After rising to 82 in 2020 and 96 in 2021, the promotion rate for Black women to manager has fallen back to lower than it was in 2019.
Because of our “broken rung” system (described in this episode), in a typical company, men end up holding 60% of manager-level positions, while women hold just 40%. As a result, there are fewer women to be promoted to director, and the number of women decreases at every subsequent level.
The impact of “microaggressions” experienced at work by women or any other marginalized group are anything but “micro”. In fact, they have a macro effect long term.
If women are to occupy more leadership roles, we must start intentionally taking up more space. We must demand more space. In this episode, I share how women are socialized to shrink our bodies, hold back our ideas and opinions, and play small in all aspects of our lives. From there, I dig into specific steps you can take to start taking up more space and stop accepting without question the leadership, thoughts, and opinions of those who have more power than you (ie: men).
If you’re ready to take up more space, use your voice in new ways, and take a seat at any table, this episode is for you.
Links Mentioned:
Join my September Influence & Ignite Retreat for small business owners: shamelessmom.com/retreat
Article: Leanin.org Women in the Workplace 2023
Learn about my speaking, training, and coaching: saradean.com
Connect with me on LinkedIn: saradean.com/linkedin
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: Shameless Leadership Sponsor
Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected].
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
If you’ve caught the last few episodes of the show, you know that change is upon us. It's not a goodbye change, but a level-up change. We are growing and evolving - together. All that we have learned together over the last 8.5 years has led us to this moment where we are stepping into a new podcast identity. This is so exciting!
As we celebrate episode 900 (omg - 900!!!), we are also celebrating the transition of this little podcast-that-could from The Shameless Mom Academy to Shameless Leadership. This is the last episode you will hear in this feed that begins with “Welcome to the Shameless Mom Academy…”
Come next week, you will see a new episode in this feed with a new title, Shameless Leadership. Taking everything we have learned together over the last 8.5 years, we are elevating our knowledge, gifts, and confidence to have bigger conversations for women leaders (at al levels). These conversations will be about everything from shutting down your inner critic and imposter syndrome to overcoming perfectionism to using your voice in new ways to advocate for yourself, your ideas, and other folks carrying marginalized identities. Each week on Shameless Leadership, you'll hear practical tips, effective strategies, and inspiring stories that will enhance your leadership skills and broaden your perspective to help you become a more confident, intentional, inclusive, and empathetic leader.
Shameless Leadership is for women, gender minorities, and allies who want to create spaces where people who have not had the advantage of a male identity can rise, lead, and thrive.
The mission of Shameless Leadership is to be a community of people of all genders who believe everyone deserves to feel seen, heard, held, valued, and supported. Our mission is to help you foster these feelings within your own circles of influence so you can build trust, psychological safety, and a culture of belonging in all the places you take up space.
This is a show by women for everyone. If you have been listening to the SMA for the last few years, months, or weeks, this is still a place for you to learn, grow, and connect. I could not be more honored to continue to be in your ear. And, I’m so excited about our future together.
Link mentioned:
Join my September Influence & Ignite Retreat for small business owners: shamelessmom.com/retreat
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor
Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected].
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
When I started thinking about the final interview for the SMA before we rebrand the show as Shameless Leadership, I knew I wanted to do something special. It occurred to me that it could be fun to have someone turn the mic on me and ask me about the show over the last 8 years. Once I had this idea, I knew Laura Cathcart Robbins, my dear friend and a friend of the show, was the perfect person to turn the mic on me!
In this episode, Laura takes us behind the scenes of the last 8 years of the Shameless Mom Academy. We talk about my original vision for the show and how it evolved over time. She asked me about (hard) lessons learned, the biggest gifts of the show, and why this podcast pivot makes so much sense right now.
I can’t wait for you to hear a little about the ongoings of the show that you haven’t had the chance to “see” over the last 8.5 years. And, I’m thrilled to give you some sneak peeks into what is coming down the pipeline (so much greatness!!)
Links mentioned:
Join my September Influence & Ignite Retreat for small business owners: shamelessmom.com/retreat
Connect with Laura Cathcart Robbins: lauracathcartrobbins.com
Laura’s Podcast: The Only One in the Room
Laura’s Book: Stash: My Life in Hiding
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor
Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected].
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
There are some exciting changes in store for the future of The Shameless Mom Academy and this episode is where you can get all the dirty deets!
Over the last 8.5 years, I have grown so much. And, YOU have grown so much right alongside me.
About a year ago, I had an idea for a bit of a new direction for the show that would allow us to continue to grow together. My skills, talents, and expertise have evolved dramatically over the last 8.5 years and I know yours have too. I want to make sure that I continue to create content that provides the most optimal learning experience for you. I want to meet you where you are at. We are all in a different place than we were even a couple of years ago, so a refreshed sense of direction makes a lot of sense right now.
With that, there are a few things that will change for the show after we release episode 900. Rest assured, there are also quite a few things that are staying the same. BUT, I don’t want you to be totally confused when you tune into episode 901 - like, “What is even happening here?!?” Spoiler alert, the show is getting a new name. You’ll want to know that before episode 901 lands in your feed!
In this episode, I share why the show is evolving, what is changing (yes, I’ll share the new name!), what is not changing, and what I’ve learned over the last 8.5 years that may potentially have a deep impact on you.
This episode is not to be missed!
Link mentioned:
Join my September Influence & Ignite Retreat for small business owners: shamelessmom.com/retreat
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor
Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected].
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Jill Castle is one of the nation’s premier childhood nutrition experts. She is the founder and CEO of The Nourished Child®, a nutrition education website and podcast for parents. She is the author of 6 books that support children’s health and nutrition, including her newest book, Kids Thrive at Every Size. Known for her ability to blend current research, practical application, and common sense, Jill believes that children can thrive at every size. With her paradigm-shifting, whole-child approach, she inspires parents, healthcare professionals, and organizations that serve children and families to think differently about young people’s health and well-being.
Jill is a sought-after speaker, advisor, and media contributor. She serves as an expert reviewer for Parents.com, and has been featured as a guest expert in CNN, The Washington Post, The New York Times, Forbes, Newsweek, and Time, to name a few.
Jill is also a Shameless Mom to four adult-ish children and lives in Massachusetts with her husband. I’m lucky enough to call Jill a friend. When she shared her concept for this book with me, I knew I had to share her work with you all. We have dedicated a number of episodes to talking about women, body image, and Diet Culture. But, we haven’t talked as much about kids, body image, and Diet Culture. It is time for this conversation and Jill is the best person to talk about it with.
Listen in to hear Jill share:
A sneak peek into what it’s like parenting 4 young adults
Common worries for parents of children who have larger or smaller sized bodies and what might surprise you about your child’s size
The Fix-Size model vs Embrace-Size model of approaching your child’s body size
How growing up with a smaller or larger body makes life more challenging for kids today
The significant difference between feeding and eating and how you might be helicopter feeding your child(ren)
The impact of family culture beyond food & nutrition when raising a healthy child
The reality that most kids experience body dissatisfaction across all genders, all sizes - and starting as early as age 3
Links Mentioned:
Join my September Influence & Ignite Retreat for small business owners: shamelessmom.com/retreat
Get the Book: Pre-order Kids Thrive at Every Size and get Jill’s pre-order bonuses!
Connect with Jill: thenourishedchild.com
Hire Jill to speak of consult: jillcastle.com
Jill on IG: @i.am.pediRD
Jill on FB: facebook.com/thenourishedchild
Jill on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/jillcastle
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Tiffany Cagwin is a Certified Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner, Board Certified Holistic Health Practitioner, Hypnotherapist, and Yoga Teacher. She is an experienced executive leader and transformational coach who has a passion for helping others thrive by guiding them to shift their mindset, take action toward goals, and embrace self-care. Tiffany is passionate about healing excess stress, fatigue, and pain that many mothers experience. She is an explorer at heart, who has a never-ending curiosity for learning new things and expanding her education.
When Tiffany approached me to talk about chronic energy shortages and the implications for mothers especially, I was all in. I think this is a topic that we need to be talking about and is not currently getting the exposure it needs. If you find yourself experiencing chronic fatigue, struggling with energy management, or always feeling depleted, this episode is for you.
Listen in to hear Tiffany share:
The key reasons we are seeing more people suffer from chronic fatigue and large energy shortages
The most common causes of chronic fatigue for working moms
Your two biggest opportunities to optimize health each day
How to distinguish between feeling tired and chronic fatigue
Time-efficient, energy-boosting habits and how to integrate them
How to advocate for your own energy needs in personal and professional environments
Links mentioned:
Attend my Influence & Ignite Retreat for Women Business Owners: shamelessmom.com/retreat
Connect with Tiffany: https://tiffanycagwin.com/
Tiffany on LinkedIn
Tiffany on IG
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We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor
Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
As you prepare for motherhood, you think about things like what color to paint the nursery, which car seat is the safest, and what your birth plan should include. You carefully pick out cute tiny clothes, booties, and hats while you dream about sweet snuggles and that first baby smile. You likely don’t think about the mental load of motherhood. You don’t consider how much your brain will have to expand, compartmentalize, and carry. Shortly after that sweet baby arrives, you feel the intensity and demands of your daily life balloon in ways you never imagined. This continues for years; decades, actually. If you feel like you're carrying a heavy load all the time, you are. The mental load of motherhood is immense. Over time, you become numb to it. You don’t realize you're chronically tired, overwhelmed, anxious, and emotionally drained because it feels normal. This is motherhood.That feeling of not recognizing yourself, forgetting who you were before kids, and not knowing who you'll be when the kids no longer need you? It's normal.The whiplash from rapidly switching roles from mom to professional, family project manager, and community caregiver that leaves your head spinning? Also normal.The constant trade-offs that cost you time, energy, and joy? Also normal.I’m not saying this to make you feel worse—only to point out that this is pretty much a universal experience of motherhood. You are not alone.What if acknowledging all this helped you see how much you are carrying, while also recognizing that change is necessary - and possible?In this episode, we explore four ways to navigate the mental load of motherhood, helping you find more mental ease, joy, and comfort in your daily life.Link mentioned:Attend my Influence & Ignite Retreat for Women Business Owners: shamelessmom.com/retreatWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsorInterested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected] more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Sienna Lytle, a dedicated Diversity, Inclusion, and Belonging (DI&B) leader and practitioner, has a passion that lies in helping individuals and organizations create environments where everyone feels valued and empowered. She believes embracing diversity isn’t just the right thing to do; it’s a catalyst for innovation and growth.With 15 years of experience in consulting operations and multiple DEI certifications, Sienna has had the privilege of collaborating with amazing humans on various teams to foster inclusive cultures. As a Black woman late-diagnosed with ADHD and autism, Sienna is also shifting a lot of her work into researching and advocating for neurodiversity in the workplace. Sienna lives in a transracial, blended family with her husband Jamie and their three teenage sons in Wisconsin where she loves enjoying the outdoors, cooking restaurant-worthy meals for her friends, and anything related to Beyonce.Listen in to Sienna share:The intersection of white supremacy, capitalism, and our current corporate landscape The significance of honoring historical markers and organizational memories to keep us accountable to consistently moving forwardHer identity as a Black cisgender mom and bonus mom to three sons, a wife, a member of a multi-racial family, and an autistic person with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) and ADHDHow she discovered her autism diagnosis in recent yearsHow she sees the worldview around autism expandingHow systems of inclusion for neurodiversity make navigating the world better for everyoneThe importance of clarity, patience, and grace when creating inclusive systemsLinks mentioned:Attend my Influence & Ignite Retreat for Women Business Owners: shamelessmom.com/retreatConnect with Sienna: siennalytle.comWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsorInterested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected] more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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I have to tread lightly here, lest I offend my Swiftie listeners! This episode is the only one in which I’ve spoken about Taylor Swift. Generally speaking, I feel wholly unqualified to speak about her, as I recognize I don’t know nearly as much about her as most of her rabid fans do. However, as someone who has watched her sweep the globe in one fell swoop over the last 18 months, I find her fascinating to watch and learn from.
As I have watched people share experiences from the Eras Tour on social media, I started thinking about Taylor’s impact over the course of decades, or eras. I’ve seen many outfits and costumes representing her various eras. This got me thinking - what about my eras? What about your eras? What era are you in? What era are you coming from? And, which era are you heading toward?
If we take a moment to characterize the era we are in, it seems we may be able to influence who we are in this current moment as well as who we are becoming. This feels powerful. In this episode, we talk about the importance of knowing what era you’re in, what you want to release in this era, what you want to embrace in this era, and what this era says about who you are becoming.
Link mentioned:
Attend my Influence & Ignite Retreat for Women Business Owners: shamelessmom.com/retreat
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor
Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Leah Neaderthal is a Shameless Mom of 2 littles, a stroke survivor, a sales coach for women consultants, and the founder of Smart Gets Paid. In her program, The Academy, she teaches women how to get more of the right consulting clients and get paid more for every consulting contract.
She’s also the host of The Smart Gets Paid podcast, where listeners go behind the scenes into her actual calls with clients where Leah is tackling their biggest sales challenges, and they can learn sales strategies they can use in their businesses.
Before starting Smart Gets Paid, Leah built, grew, and sold three businesses. Learn more about Leah at smartgetspaid.com.
Listen in to hear Leah share:
Her experience of having a stroke at age 36
Her major life lessons on time management that came with becoming a mother
How motherhood helped her overcome some Type A habits
How to use small amounts of time (just a few minutes) to take care of yourself and your body
Why women are so uncomfortable with selling and advocating for ourselves
What “bro marketing is” and how to avoid it when you’re promoting your services or your ideas at work
How women embracing sales helps us train people how to treat women on a larger scale
Links mentioned:
Attend my Influence & Ignite Retreat for Women Business Owners: shamelessmom.com/retreat
Connect with Leah: https://www.smartgetspaid.com/
Leah’s Podcast: Smart Gets Paid
Leah on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leahtn/
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor
Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Today’s episode is an episode from almost two years ago where I talk about collective trauma and growth mindset. As I listened back to this episode recently, I was quick to realize the collective trauma we were experiencing two years ago as we clawed our way out of Covid still hasn’t been healed. From where I’m sitting, people are still suffering in tremendous ways and as we approach what many consider to be the most disappointing and disheartening election season of our lives, the sense of instability and insecurity across the US cannot be overstated.
Given the state of the US and the world, I thought it would be helpful and supportive to revisit this episode so we can continue to move forward and see potential in our day-to-day lives, in spite of all the things we cannot control.
An article on collective trauma in Psychology Today states that collective trauma “can change the entire fabric of a community… In fact, collective trauma can impact relationships, alter policies and governmental processes, alter the way the society functions, and even change its social norms.”
Once we acknowledge that we are experiencing this and have been for years now, we can see how our mindsets have shifted to match this arduous cultural moment in history. In fact, it stands to reason that we have quite possibly (and very understandably) shifted our default mindset to a fixed mindset framework, instead of a growth mindset framework. Best-selling author, Carol Dweck, provides fantastic guidance around this terminology and topic.
In this Greatest Hits episode, we explore why you might be defaulting to fixed mindset, how it’s limiting you, and how to shift out of it to see more opportunities, potential & possibilities in your life - instead of defaulting to seeing obstacles & roadblocks. This isn’t to say the obstacles aren’t real. Things are hard. But let’s uncover how to hold space for two truths:
Things are hard.
You are resourceful and resilient and can make great things happen in your life.
Links mentioned:
Attend my Influence & Ignite Retreat for Women Business Owners: shamelessmom.com/retreat
Psychology Today article: What is Collective Trauma?
Book: Mindset by Carol Dweck
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor
Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
La’Kita Williams is the founder and principal strategist of CoCreate Work, a workplace culture consultancy guiding businesses to systems-level changes that result in measurable successes and true inclusivity.
As a certified professional coach with a Masters in Social Work and 20+ years of experience, La’Kita is passionate about helping leaders perform the deep work of personal transformation, which is a critical element for organizational transformation. She firmly believes culture is not separate from strategy — it IS strategy. She has done culture-building work with organizations from small businesses to Fortune 500 companies. La’Kita has been quoted in several national outlets including The New York Times and written for Harvard Business Review.
While I love and admire everything La’Kita is doing professionally, I really wanted to talk to her on a more personal level for this conversation. I’m grateful she was willing to dive in and go deep with this conversation!
Listen to hear La’Kita share:
How a health crisis in the middle of the pandemic upended her life and resulted in her diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis
How her diagnosis impacted her 4 children who were ages 10-20 years old at the time of her diagnosis
The changes she had to make with her relationship with ambition as a result of her diagnosis
How she uses Spoon Theory to manage her energy daily
Her advice to other leaders or folks who are managing chronic illnesses, including what pieces and resources to get in place to protect yourself at work
What needs to happen systemically to provide protection for people with chronic illnesses so that disclosing chronic illness isn’t putting someone at risk of losing their job
The critical importance of flexible schedules and WFH flexibility across all organizations and industries who claim to be creating accessible, inclusive workplaces and communities
What her company, Co-Create, does to create a great culture in the organizations they partner with
Her vision of the future of leadership
Links mentioned:
Connect with La’Kita and her work: cocreatework.com
La'Kita's Instagram
La'Kita's LinkedIn
CoCreate Work Instagram
CoCreate Work LinkedIn
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor
Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]
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So, what is personal agency?
According to Shaun Gallagher and his work on philosophical conceptions of the self, personal agency refers to, “the sense that I am the one who is causing or generating an action.” This means that a person with a sense of agency perceives themselves as the subject influencing their own actions and life circumstances.
A couple of years ago, I had the chance to do a three-day Trauma-Informed Practice Intensive for Coaches and Leaders. One of the things we kept coming back to over the course of these three days was making sure we, as coaches and leaders, are creating spaces that allow our clients a strong sense of agency.
As we dug into this from various angles and examined it through the lens of trauma, I got more and more curious and started doing my own research on the side. I know, super nerd alert. I love geeking out on this stuff. While I won’t bore you with the super coachy stuff, I do want to share with you the juicy parts that I know have the potential to benefit you right away.
One of the best parts of my job is providing you with tools to see your own power and your own ability to make choices that serve you. I want you to feel confident in your own sense of self and sense of agency that guides your decision-making and action-taking.
In this Greatest Hits episode, I dig into:
What personal agency is and what it can mean for you
Why is a sense of agency important
6 ways to develop your sense of agency
It is my hope that developing your sense of agency will give you clarity and discernment around who you are and who you are becoming, and that, in turn, will impact how you show up and have impact in the world.
Links mentioned:
Trudi Lebron: trudilebron.com
Article: https://www.mindful.org/seven-ways-to-develop-personal-agency/
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Heather Boorman-Morris, LCSW lives a life of truth-telling, compassion, and curiosity. She dedicates her professional work to advocate for individual and systemic wellness, and does so through her writing, speaking, and outpatient therapy practice specializing in trauma and neurodiversity. After awakening to the truth that she had been living in an abusive relationship for two decades, Heather expanded her advocacy work to challenge society’s inaccurate conceptions of who gets abused and what abusers look like.
Her latest book, A Thousand Paper Cuts, brings readers inside the mind, heart, and experiences of a victim of covert narcissistic abuse. With raw vulnerability, Heather shares her story, from love bombing to devaluing to freedom, highlighting the destructiveness an abuser can have without ever raising his fist.
Over the last few years, different forms of narcissism and abuse in the form of coercive control have come on my radar. This kind of abuse is among the most dangerous forms of abuse because of how long it takes victims to realize they are being abused. I know people who have experienced this form of abuse in their marriages and in family relationships such as mother/daughter relationships. Because these kinds of abusers are so charming and charismatic to the outside world, their victims often feel they will not be believed if they share their abuse. And so they keep quiet for years, if not decades.
When Heather reached out to me to talk about her experience in getting out of a marriage where she was the victim of what I now know is called covert narcissistic abuse as well as her professional experience as a therapist uncovering the data around this kind of abuse, I immediately said yes. This conversation is so important. It is very likely that you know someone enduring a relationship with a covert narcissist.
Listen in to hear Heather share:
How narcissism personality disorder exists on a spectrum and the difference between overt and covert narcissism
How she got involved in a relationship with a narcissist and what the coercive control looked like from the very beginning of their relationship
What narcissists are looking for when they seek out partners
How she recognized 19 years into her marriage that she was in an abusive relationship
The vulnerability and massive fear of engaging her family and friends to help her see how she had been gaslit over the years
How she finally got out of her marriage
Her decision to write about her story
What someone can do if they think they are in an abusive relationship with a narc/covert abuser
Links mentioned:
Get information about my September Influence & Ignite Retreat for Women Business Owners: shamelessmom.com/retreat
Connect with Heather: www.heatherboormanmorris.com
Book: A Thousand Paper Cuts
Podcast with Heather and Antwan: www.startingstronger.com
Heather’s Podcast: www.thefringybit.com
Heather on Facebook
Instagram:@ startingstrongerpodcast and @thefringybit
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor
Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]
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Two years ago, I did my first triathlon in 18 years. It was an incredible experience - one that I seriously considered postponing for another year. Life was hectic in the summer of 2022 and we were traveling for part of the summer. I knew my training would be imperfect and somewhat cobbled together. I had to choose between making this a 12-month goal or a two month (very imperfect) goal. I opted for the latter.
Whether you're working toward a new goal or returning to an old one, I encourage you to reflect on how you're approaching your goal. Your perspective and approach will significantly influence your experience and outcomes.
When I competed in triathlons 18-22 years ago, it was a tremendous amount of work and stress. Much of the training felt like a grind, and the entire process was constantly intense.
At the age of 46, and having been away from the sport for so long, you might expect that the intensity and stress would return when I started training again. However, that was not the case.
This time, I was very intentional about my approach to this goal. By focusing on enjoying the journey, I was able to savor every moment of training and every second of race day. This shift in perspective made a profound difference in my experience.
In this Greatest Hits episode, I talk you through how you can make a scary goal more approachable and less scary so you can give yourself permission to go after what you want without the weight of fear, doubt, and perfectionism holding you back for the entire journey.
Link mentioned:
Get information about my September Influence & Ignite Retreat for Women Business Owners: shamelessmom.com/retreat
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor
Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]
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Featured in leading publications like CEO Magazine and Luxury Lifestyle Magazine, Kevin Loeffler (they/themme) is the Founder and CEO of Finally Kevin!, an inspirational Gender Identity speaker, and author of the upcoming book, "Finally Kevin” (Spring 2025). Kevin's unique journey allows audiences of all generations to understand what gender identity is and, just as importantly, what it is not. Kevin empowers parents and community leaders, regardless of age or background, with the knowledge necessary to increase authentic allyship skills for their gender-diverse loved ones. For almost 50 years, Kevin lived as the person they thought their parents, wives, children, and employers wanted them to be, never daring to be their authentic selves in front of any of them. Their heartwarming story of choosing to live as their transparent self by announcing their gender identity to the world at the age of 63 has landed them numerous media and speaking opportunities.
I was introduced to Kevin by friend of the SMA and past guest of the show, Elena Joy Thurston. While Kevin and I recorded this episode a few months ago, I saved it to release during Pride Month because it feels like the perfect closing to this special month. Happy Pride to all our LGBTQIA+ community members. We love you and want you to be 100% you 100% of the time.
Listen in to hear Kevin share:
How Kevin became Finally Kevin! and what their transformation as a non-binary person has looked like
What led them to start to live their femme tendencies out loud after 50 years
The interconnectedness between shame and addiction in Kevin’s life
The difference between gender identity and sexual orientation
The beauty and power of being able to finally “get out of bed free”
What life feels like to finally be Kevin after 50 years of stifling Kevin
How LinkedIn became the safe place for Kevin to begin to own their identity publicly
Links mentioned:
Kevin’s Programs and Resources: Finallykevin.com
Kevin on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevinmloeffler
Kevin on FB: https://www.facebook.com/kmloeffler/
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor
Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]
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