Afleveringen
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This week, Lucy is joined by Matt Christofaro - a Thrive Programme Coach based in America, who previously struggled with frequent panic attacks—especially in important work meetings and interviews. In this episode, Matt explains the underlying thinking styles and beliefs that were causing him to create such big emotions and also how he overcame it – what he needed to know and then do to rid himself of panic for good.
Despite how they feel, panic attacks don’t ‘happen to’ you. They are your response ‘to’ an event, situation, thought, feeling, urge, sensation. It is the work meeting, viewed through your own unique set of filters (your beliefs and thinking styles) that creates your experience of it — including whether or not you panic in certain situations. The key is understanding that panic isn’t some external force ‘attacking’ you (even though the name makes it sound that way)—you create it by how you respond ‘to’ the situation.
What you'll year in this podcast:
Why panic attacks feel random — but aren’t.Why some people stay calm under pressure while others spiral into panic.The common thinking styles and beliefs that create panic.Why trying to avoid the feelings actually keeps them alive.How your brain mistakes discomfort for danger.The simple mindset shift that stops panic from escalating.Top tips for the next time you’re panicking.Key takeaway:
Panic isn’t something that happens ‘to’ you — it’s an emotional overreaction to a perceived threat. Whilst you may not be able to control the situation, you absolutely can control the way you think and feel about it.
You don’t panic about making a cup of tea. Why? Because you feel powerful and skillful in that area of your life. You only create panic, stress and worry about situations you think in a powerless way about. It’s a thinking problem, rather than a work meeting problem.
Panic attacks feel unpredictable, but they’re not. Once you understand what’s really happening, you can break the cycle and take back control just like Matt and all the other people who have overcome panic attacks for good.
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This episode is all about changing the narrative around vaginismus. No more outdated advice, ineffective quick fixes, or feeling like you're the only one struggling. Instead, you'll gain a fresh, empowering perspective, practical strategies, and real success stories—proving that effective help does exist.
What is vaginismus?
Vaginismus is a condition that makes sexual penetration painful or impossible. Women who experience it often struggle with distress, embarrassment, shame, and frustration. The severity of symptoms varies—some women can tolerate insertion, albeit painfully, while others cannot insert anything at all. For many, even the thought of penetration triggers anxiety.
Meet Cara Mason
Cara Mason is a Vaginismus Coach, author and the creator of the Vaginismus-Free Programme. With over 25 years of experience, she fully understands the challenges women face and, more importantly, what’s required in order for women to achieve comfortable penetration.
What You'll hear in this podcast
• The main cause of Vaginismus – It’s not what you think, and it’s not scary or complicated!
• Myth-Busting – Did you know that your vaginal muscles are not spasming? There’s no evidence for it.
• Understanding the root cause – Vaginismus is often NOT caused by sexual trauma; Its nearly always something simpler and not sinister.
• Why many common vaginismus treatments fail – Treatments that focus only on the physical symptom are ignoring the crucial role of the mind.
• The first steps to take for comfortable penetration – Learn how to process positive penetration experiences so they truly count in your recovery.
• How to make progress with insertion – it’s the small steps that lead to bigger wins• Is it harder to overcome vaginismus if you’ve had it for longer
• Why vaginismus is actually a GOOD symptom to overcome!
• Why many women believe it’s hard to overcome vaginismus
The Vaginismus-Free Programme
The Vaginismus-Free Programme is a step-by-step, life-changing programme that empowers women to reconnect with their bodies and regain control. Since vaginismus manifests physically but is driven by mindset, this programme takes a full mind-body approach to healing.
You'll learn why your body responds as it does and have all the tools you need to achieve comfortable penetration. Followed correctly, this programme can help you overcome vaginismus in just 8-12 weeks.
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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In this week’s episode, Lucy Wood is joined by Rob Kelly – creator of The Thrive Programme – to talk about coping skills.
Feeling able to cope with life’s ups and downs is arguably the most important thing in your life. Since the absence of feeling able to cope is the main driver of anxieties, worries, fears, stress, depression, poor self-esteem and so on.
During this episode, Lucy and Rob explain what coping skills are, how you learned them (or didn’t learn them), how anyone can build them, and why everyone should build them.
Your experience of any situation is determined by one thing: how powerful you feel.
When you feel powerful, in control and able to cope, you don’t create anxious or stressful thoughts, you don’t lose sleep or overthink it – quite the opposite – you know you can do it so you’re feeling calm and relaxed about it.
When you feel powerless – you doubt your ability to cope – and this lack of belief in your capabilities fuels anxious, fearful, worrisome, stressful thoughts, feelings, sensations and behaviours. And it’s these uncomfortable feelings that further strengthen your belief.
So the absence of feeling powerful in your ability to cope is the root cause of any anxiety, fears, avoidance behaviours you might see on the surface.
This is great news, because it’s just a belief.
So how do you build coping skills?
1. Understand that it isn’t the situation that is ‘making you’ scared or anxious, but the beliefs you hold about it / your capabilities.
It’s not the spider that is ‘making you’ terrified - it can’t – it doesn’t have that power over how you feel. Only you do. Your limiting belief about your ability to stay calm when you see a spider is the cause of how you think, feel and react in that situation. So taking responsibility for how you think and make yourself feel is the first step.
2. With that understanding, gently find ways to get outside your zone.
Make a list of situations you would rather avoid because you don’t like feeling those uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, sensations. Gradually start facing them. Expect to feel uncomfortable – that’s the point! You are learning to tolerate uncomfortable thoughts and feelings without running away. Every time you face something (obviously we’re talking about discomfort here, not danger…) rather than run away, you build coping skills.
3. Process it well
Make sure you tell yourself well done. You faced something hard. You got yourself through. You put effort into tolerating those uncomfortable thoughts and feelings and the more you do it, the easier it will feel.
The more you learn to cope in each and every situation, the stronger your belief and skillset and the easier your life will be.
