Afleveringen

  • In this very special episode of Therapy Works, I have the pleasure of sitting down in-person with the remarkable Kirsty Young, a beloved figure in Scottish television and radio. Renowned for presenting the iconic show Desert Island Discs and her role in hosting prestigious events such as the Queen's jubilee and funeral, Kirsty brings a wealth of wisdom and insight to our conversation.
    Key Discussion Points:

    Childhood Influences: Kirsty opens up about the formative experiences of her childhood, shedding light on feelings of abandonment and inadequacy that have shaped her journey.

    Career Drive and Coping with Stress: We delve into Kirsty's innate drive for success and how she navigates high-stress periods, finding balance amidst the demands of her career.

    Embracing Imperfection: Kirsty shares her perspective on prioritising the present moment over the pursuit of perfection, finding joy in embracing life's imperfections and uncertainties.

    Confronting Anxiety and Vulnerability: With refreshing candour, Kirsty discusses her childhood battle with anxiety.

    Lessons in Growth: Through her own health journey, Kirsty offers profound insights into the power of self-compassion and acceptance. She emphasises the importance of embracing imperfection and finding liberation in simply being.


    Join us as Kirsty Young shares her journey of growth, resilience, and self-discovery, offering invaluable insights into embracing imperfection and finding strength in vulnerability.

    Resource Mentions:

    Rachel Yehuda: A notable figure in the field of psychology, known for her work on intergenerational trauma and the role of epigenetics. Please find her study here: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6127768/


    Highly Sensitive People Project: Explore this initiative dedicated to understanding and supporting highly sensitive individuals at HSPerson.com.

    On Being Podcast: Dive into thought-provoking discussions on spirituality, ethics, and humanity with the On Being podcast, available at OnBeing.org.

    Kirsty's Podcast: Immerse yourself in Kirsty's captivating voice and engaging conversations on her podcast, click the link below: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/young-again/id1708924395


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  • In this episode of "Agony Aunties," we’re responding to a listener's question about maintaining a relationship with their son's ex-girlfriend. While it’s understandable to want to maintain a connection with someone that you personally don’t have any issues with, and while we don’t know all of the ins and outs of the situation, what arises in us is the importance to be aware of the complexity of such dynamics post-breakup, to consider the son's feelings, and to be aware of the the potential for confusion on the ex's part.
    We’ll be expanding on these ideas in the episode, so give it a listen, and if you have any questions of your own, please send them in to [email protected].
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  • In this week’s episode, I’ll be delving into Petrina Barber's harrowing journey with cancer, diagnosed shortly after the birth of her son. Petrina shares the complexities of her battle, not just with the disease itself but also with the incurable condition that arose from her treatment, drastically impacting her and her family’s life. While Petrina lost a sense of autonomy over her body and acknowledges the profound losses it brought, she has been able to show such tremendous strength, and physically accomplish what no doctor thought possible. In doing so - she is redefining what is possible for people with stomas.

    Key Points Discussed:

    •⁠ ⁠The Initial Shock: Petrina's “perfect” life was upended with a cancer diagnosis at a young age, changing everything she knew and planned for her abd her family's future.
    •⁠ ⁠Treatment and its Aftermath: The severe side effects of cancer treatment led to the development of Pelvic Radiation Disease (PRD), significantly altering Petrina's life quality and leading to numerous medical emergencies.
    •⁠ ⁠Advocacy and Self-Care: Learning to advocate for herself and focusing on the quality of life became Petrina's priority, shifting from a survival mindset to one of living fully despite the circumstances. What Petrina has been able to achieve in the face of all of her health challenges, is incredibly impressive.
    •⁠ ⁠Strength and Resilience: Despite numerous challenges, Petrina's story is a testament to human resilience, the power of family support, and the importance of finding joy and purpose even in the face of life-altering adversity.

    Petrina's narrative is a touching reminder of the unpredictable nature of life, the strength found in vulnerability, and the power of hope and relentless love in navigating the most challenging moments. This episode illuminates the deep impact of health crises on personal identity, family dynamics, and the journey toward finding new meaning and strength amidst loss.

    This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self.
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  • For this week’s episode of the Therapy Works podcast, we released a very important conversation with Charles Spencer, where he opens up about his experience of childhood sexual abuse in boarding school. In this bonus episode, the three of us talk about our takeaways from that conversation, and what really resonated in us when we heard Charles’ story.
    Key Points Discussed:


    Complexity of Disclosure: They explore the difficulties victims face in disclosing abuse, especially sexual abuse, due to societal disbelief and the inherent shame tied to these experiences.


    Impact of Abuse on Identity and Relationships: The dialogue delves into the effects of abuse on self-perception, the struggle with shame, and the obstacles to forming intimate and trustworthy relationships.


    Navigating the Healing Process: The importance of therapy, acknowledging one’s experiences, and finding a narrative to differentiate the past from the present are emphasised as crucial steps towards recovery.


    The Role of Acknowledgment in Healing: The power of acknowledging harm done, either through direct conversation or letters, as a pivotal step for both victims and perpetrators towards addressing intergenerational trauma.


    For more information, please visit the National Child Traumatic Stress Network - https://www.nctsn.org
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  • In this episode, I’m speaking with Charles Spencer, who shares his traumatic experiences at a boarding school where he faced physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. Charles discusses the profound impact these childhood experiences have had on his life, the complex process of healing, and the importance of speaking out to help others.
    Key Points Discussed:


    Enduring Abuse: Charles recounts the harrowing abuse he endured during his time at a particularly abusive boarding school, including sexual abuse, and the lasting impact on his mental health.


    The Healing Journey: The conversation delves into Charles's extensive journey through therapy, including EMDR, and the role of writing his book as a form of therapy.


    Impact of Trauma: Charles reflects on how the trauma influenced his views on trust, relationships, and self-worth, emphasising the importance of working through past pain for personal growth.


    Advocacy for Change: Highlighting the importance of advocating for the protection of children and raising awareness about the long-term effects of abuse, Charles discusses his hope that his story will inspire others to seek help and speak out.


    This episode offers hope and solidarity to others who have experienced similar traumas. Charles Spencer's openness provides valuable insights into the complexities of healing from childhood abuse and underscores the power of vulnerability and truth in overcoming the shadows of the past.

    Buy Charles's book: https://amzn.eu/d/8KndO4s
    Follow Charles on X: @cspencer1508
    Follow Charles on Instagram: @charles.earl.spencer

    Watch the full podcast episode on Julia's Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCX3RmDaV8ZzsLuQzsi-4hAA

    A big thank you to our wonderful sponsor Window Fleur. Please head to their website and use the code THERAPYWORKS15 for 15% off your first order: https://windowfleur.com/

    Produced by Rutherford Productions
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  • For this week’s episode of Agony Aunties, we’re taking a bit of a different direction. While I do much prefer to answer your questions, and to connect with what’s alive in you, this week I’m going to share something that has happened to me. Namely, I am currently going through a series of health challenges. I broke my shoulder in a fall, and needed a couple of surgeries for it. On top of that, I have a rare condition called Ramsay Hunt Syndrome, the symptoms of which have flared up and paralysed half of my face, and this is affecting the way I look and speak. I thought it might be odd if I just appeared on video without explaining what happened, as I do look and sound different than before.

    However, while I do appreciate the kindness and support I have received from so many of you already, I don’t want the focus of my content to be on me and this situation I’m in. I’m very motivated by the work that I’m doing, by these talks that I’m having, and these stories that I’m sharing. And I also find great meaning in sharing this work with you, and in the community that we’re all developing. I am going to continue doing what I find most meaningful. Thank you. Next week we’ll get back to answering your questions again, so do please continue to send them in.
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  • In this insightful episode, I speak with Professor Tom Shakespeare, a distinguished figure in the fields of disability research and bioethics. Their conversation delves into the profound aspects of disability, societal perceptions, and the intrinsic value of diversity and acceptance in human connections. Tom, with his rich background and personal experiences, offers a unique perspective on living with disability and the universal challenges of human existence.

    Key Points Discussed:
    The Finite Nature of Life: Tom discusses the challenge of balancing a desire to achieve against the finite nature of life, highlighting the constant struggle to meet demands within limited time and the personal incidents that bring this reality into focus.

    Disability and Society: The dialogue explores the deep-rooted societal prejudices towards disability, emphasising the need for a shift in perception to recognise the common humanity and vulnerabilities shared by all, regardless of physical or mental differences.

    Embracing Limitations: We discuss the importance of acknowledging and embracing human limitations, framing disability within a broader context of human fragility and the societal barriers that exacerbate these challenges.

    The Power of Rest and Laughter: Tom shares personal strategies for managing life's pressures and pains, such as the rejuvenating power of napping and the therapeutic value of humour in facing adversity and fostering connection.

    This episode is a testament to the resilience, diversity, and unity of the human spirit. Tom's narrative is a reminder that our shared vulnerabilities and limitations are not weaknesses but are essential to our collective identity and humanity. It encourages us to embrace diversity, practice acceptance, and find joy and meaning in our shared human experience.

    Find Tom Shakespeare:
    https://farmerofthoughts.co.uk/biography/

    Find Julia Samuel:
    Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
    Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe

    Produced by Rutherford Productions


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  • In this episode of Agony Aunties, Julia, Emily and Sophie share insightful perspectives on the topic of "only children." Julia critiques the term itself, emphasising that it carries a derivative implication, suggesting that an only child is somehow insufficient. Emily adds that regardless of family configuration, there are both pros and cons, and having just one child can offer unique benefits, allowing the child to receive undivided attention and care. The conversation touches on the complexities of family structures and challenges the notion that only children face disadvantages.
    The discussion then shifts to supporting a teenager on the edge of friendship groups. Emily points out the natural fluctuations in teenage friendships and acknowledges the pain parents feel when they can't easily intervene. Sophie contributes from her own experience, urging parents to reflect on their own past and potential projections onto their children. The importance of understanding the difference between the parent's and the child's experiences is highlighted, emphasising open communication and shared vulnerability in navigating teenage friendships.
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  • In this emotionally charged episode, Henrietta opens up about her journey through permanent childlessness and shares the complexities of her grief. Henrietta describes how there isn't a singular reason for her childlessness – not meeting the right partner and the element of luck being 50% out of her control. She recalls making a promise to herself, keeping the door half-shut, and the heartbreak that then followed.

    Key Points Discussed:

    Confronting Sadness:
    Exploring the depths of her grief, Henrietta opens up about the sadness that accompanies the longing for children never conceived. The challenges of feeling alienated and misunderstood during the second year of her journey come to the forefront.

    Disenfranchised Grief:
    Henrietta sheds light on the disenfranchised grief experienced by childless individuals, where the loss remains invisible and delegitimized. She addresses the staggering statistic that one in five people faces this unacknowledged sorrow.

    Creating a Supportive Tribe:
    Discovering solace in a newfound community, Henrietta emphasises the significance of creating spaces for childless women to openly discuss their pain. She underscores the power of validation and the healing that can occur when individuals facing similar struggles come together.

    Existential Anguish:
    Henrietta bares her soul, sharing moments of anger and betrayal intertwined with the existential loneliness that accompanies childlessness. She articulates the ongoing struggle of holding onto the idea of having her own child.

    This episode serves as a powerful testament to the often silent grief of permanent childlessness. It provides a compassionate space for validation and understanding. Henrietta's story unfolds as a narrative of resilience and strength in the face of unseen struggles.


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  • In this episode, a listener seeks advice on parenting adult children. The Agony Aunties encourage active listening, allowing for diverse perspectives without necessarily agreeing. They suggest using feedback formats, like expressing what one hears, sees, feels, and relates, to avoid judgement. The conversation explores the importance of compromise, acknowledging emotional subtext in disagreements, and understanding the generational shift in parenting dynamics.
    They emphasise the evolving nature of the parent-adult child relationship, acknowledging the dance between letting go and remaining close. They reflect on the challenge of finding a balance between abandonment and enmeshment, offering insights into the worry that comes with children growing into adulthood. The episode concludes with wisdom on processing loss, accepting the evolving roles, and trusting adult children to navigate their lives while providing a supportive presence. If you're navigating the complexities of parenting adult children, this episode offers thoughtful guidance and relatable perspectives.
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  • In today's deeply moving conversation, I am honoured to be joined by the incredible Annabel Croft. Annabel graciously shares her poignant journey through the rapid and tragic loss of her husband to cancer. We delve into the realms of loss, love, and the indomitable spirit of hope that persists in the face of grief.

    In this episode, we discuss: 

    Sudden Diagnosis and Profound Journey: Annabel recounts the shocking moment they learned of her husband's terminal diagnosis, marking the beginning of a profound journey through grief and acceptance. She discusses the brutal reality of receiving such news, the swift progression of her husband's illness, and the emotional turmoil that ensued for her and her family.

    Brutal Delivery of News: We explore the brutal way in which healthcare practitioners handled their situation, making what's already devastating worse. We reflect on the lasting impact it has on individuals and families facing terminal illnesses.

    Strength in Vulnerability: Annabel's courage to be vulnerably open, allowing her emotions to be seen and felt, offers a beacon of understanding for anyone navigating the turbulent waters of loss.

    Therapeutic Power of Dance and Hope: The conversation highlights the importance of hope, the therapeutic power of dance in Annabel's life, and the significance of finding joy and meaning despite the presence of grief.

    Annabel's Reflections: Reflecting on her experience, Annabel's story serves as a testament to the strength found in vulnerability and the resilience of the human spirit. Though uniquely hers, it echoes universal truths of love's depth, the pain of loss, and the enduring quest for solace and understanding.

    As we share in Annabel's journey, let us remember the capacity of the human heart to heal, to find light amidst darkness, and to continue loving in the memory of those we've lost. 

    Annabel expresses her desire to support the work of a brilliant scientist, Isabella Cooper. For those interested, you can read more about Isabelle's work here: https://www.foreveryounggroup.com/about-us
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  • In this special episode of our Agony Aunties mini series, our wise trio – Emily, Sophie, and Julia – dive deep into the intricacies of love and relationships. The first question addresses the delicate balance of approaching a new relationship with both excitement and caution. Emily's candid response reminds us that every relationship comes with its share of risks, emphasising that the beauty of love lies in its unpredictability. She encourages embracing the vulnerability that comes with love rather than succumbing to the fear of potential hurt.
    Moving on to the challenge of maintaining the spark in long-term relationships, Sophie shares invaluable insights. Recognising the monotony that can set in, she suggests cultivating personal sources of joy and excitement. Whether it's engaging in a dance class or enjoying time with friends, maintaining an individual sense of fun and spontaneity can breathe life back into the relationship. The trio concludes with Julia addressing the difficult subject of grief around Valentine's Day. She emphasises the importance of acknowledging the pain, legitimising emotions, and seeking support, offering a compassionate approach for those navigating the complexities of love and loss. Tune in for a heartfelt episode filled with wisdom, laughter, and guidance on matters of the heart.

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  • In today's conversation, I am joined by Josiah Hartley, who generously shares the complexities of his struggle with depression, emphasising the pivotal importance of early recognition of signs and the transformative power of self-kindness and professional support. His story serves as a testament to vulnerability, resilience, and the gradual path to recovery, offering valuable insights for both individuals facing similar challenges and parents seeking to connect with their children going through depression or having suicidal thoughts.

    Key Discussion Points:

    Understanding Depression: Delving into the subtle onset of depression, Josiah recounts the critical moment when he shifted his perspective, recognising depression as a mental illness rather than a personal failure. This realisation became a turning point, steering him towards the path of recovery.

    The Role of Support: Josiah highlights the pivotal role of a trusted psychiatrist who guided him through the complexities of treatment, underscoring the transformative potential of compassionate professional care. This discussion emphasises the need for empathy in healthcare interactions and the profound impact it can have on a patient's journey.

    Daily Self-Care and Mindfulness: Emphasising the significance of self-care and mindfulness practices, Josiah shares how simple acts of kindness towards oneself played a foundational role in his healing process. From daily routines to mindful practices, these small but impactful steps collectively contributed to a profound improvement in his mental health.

    This episode stands as a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit, the importance of seeking help, and the possibility of leading a fulfilling life despite the challenges posed by mental illness.

    Read Josiah's book: https://amzn.eu/d/3O6nFAf

    For those seeking additional support, please see the below resources that were mentioned in the episode:

    Emily mentioned a PDF on DBT which you can view here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xR9c-LW8gK5RqJ-Src611kheCT-jNWky/view
    Charlie Waller Trust - https://www.charliewaller.org/
    Papyrus - https://www.papyrus-uk.org/
    Campaign Against Living Miserably - https://www.thecalmzone.net/

    A big thank you to our sponsor Brora who are offering Therapy Works listeners a fabulous 10% off on full-price pieces. Head to their website broraonline.com and use the code TW10 at checkout before the end of April.

    Find Julia Samuel:
    Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
    Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe

    Produced by Rutherford Productions
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  • In this heartfelt episode of Agony Aunties, the team addresses a poignant question from a listener who has recently lost their mother, with the added complication of a sister attempting to take control. Sophie sensitively navigates the complexities of grief, highlighting the common occurrence of competition among siblings when parents pass away. She delves into the intricacies of such dynamics, where the struggle for control often becomes a representation of love and value in the eyes of the departed parent. Julia adds a valuable perspective, emphasising the importance of surrendering the need for control and focusing on validating the significant relationship with the mother. The Agony Aunties also explore the grieving process in a difficult relationship, addressing a listener's question on how to honestly grieve its loss. Emily provides insights on allowing oneself to feel the range of emotions and the significance of being honest about the complexities of the relationship. Tune in for compassionate advice on navigating familial dynamics, grief, and the journey towards emotional honesty.
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  • To kick off Season 5, I am joined by Julia Bradbury, a best-selling author, TV presenter, and ardent advocate for nature, health, and hiking. Renowned for her passion for the outdoors, Julia has embarked on a transformative journey following her cancer diagnosis and surgery, dedicating herself to promoting healthy living and nature therapy. In this episode, Julia shares her inspiring story, emphasising the importance of investigating our default responses to adversity and finding purpose amid life's challenges. 

    In this episode we discuss:

    Emphasising Self-Compassion: Julia Bradbury underscores the importance of avoiding self-blame during challenging times and encourages listeners to explore their default responses to adversity.

    Navigating Medical Challenges: The episode delves into Julia Bradbury's journey with breast cancer and the emotional toll of a rigorous biopsy, shedding light on the intricacies of her medical experiences.

    Tarot Wisdom: She touches on the use of tarot cards, delving into their symbolism, including the snake representing change and medicine, as part of her exploration of diverse modalities.

    Action Over Stagnation: Julia Bradbury advocates for taking action in challenging situations, emphasising that proactive measures propel personal growth rather than becoming stuck.

    Purposeful Living Post-Cancer: The cancer journey offers Julia a renewed sense of purpose, paving the way for a life filled with positivity. 

    In this transformative episode, Julia Bradbury shares her resilient journey, inviting listeners to explore their responses to adversity, navigate medical challenges and ultimately find renewed purpose and balance in the tapestry of life.

    A big thank you to our sponsor Brora who are offering Therapy Works listeners a fabulous 10% off on full-price pieces. Head to their website broraonline.com and use the code TW10 at checkout before the end of April.

    Find Julia Bradbury:
    Book: Walk Yourself Happy
    Instagram: @juliabradbury

    Find Julia Samuel:
    Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
    Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe

    Produced by Rutherford Productions
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  • In this episode of Agony Aunties, Julia, Sophie, and Emily tackle a poignant question from a listener: How to deal with a narcissistic mother whose behaviour seems to be escalating with age.
    The conversation explores the challenge of dealing with someone who lacks insight into how their actions affect others. They discuss the emotional toll this behaviour takes on those in a relationship with a narcissist, highlighting the importance of recognising that the issue lies with the narcissist and not the individual experiencing the effects.
    They offer valuable insights on coping strategies for individuals dealing with a narcissistic parent, emphasising the significance of staying calm, taking a step back, and recognising that the behaviour is a reflection of the narcissist rather than a reflection of the individual.
    This episode serves as a compassionate and informative guide for anyone navigating the complexities of relationships with narcissistic individuals, offering practical advice and reassurance for those facing the challenges of a narcissistic parent.
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  • In this episode of Agony Aunties, the trio delves into the intricate realm of boundaries, addressing the following listener question:
    "This new stance of boundaries that have taken hold on social media. I'm in my 60s and my initial thought is that boundaries prevent mending, being vulnerable, listening and can be misused. Of course, natural normal boundaries are needed when one is suffering abuse. My instinct tells me people can use putting up boundaries as an excuse not to hear what others think and feel."
    Emily acknowledges concerns around the potential misuse of therapy language and defends the enduring value of boundaries. Sophie reframes boundaries as tools for safety, self-worth, and the ability to adapt based on perceived threats. Julia emphasises the transformative power of boundaries as a form of self-care, offering clear guidelines adaptable across diverse relationships and contexts. Together, they explore the delicate balance of setting boundaries to enhance well-being and nurture richer connections. Join Agony Aunties as they navigate life's challenges with wisdom and compassion.
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  • The Agony Aunties are back with a heartfelt episode delving into the complex world of sibling relationships.

    Question 1: Dealing with an Estranged Sibling:
    "How to deal with an estranged sibling who knows me and wants no contact?"
    The Agony Aunties dive into the delicate realm of estrangement, exploring the often unspoken feelings of shame and guilt experienced by those with distant siblings. They share insights on the importance of self-reflection, the potential for reconnection, and the empowerment that comes with keeping the possibility of a future relationship open.

    Question 2: Sibling Scapegoating and Pain:
    "My brother scapegoats me and causes me pain. Should I move away?"
    In response to a listener grappling with a sibling's harmful behaviour, the Agony Aunties explore the concept of being a scapegoat and the toll it takes on one's well-being. They offer guidance on stepping out of this role, establishing healthy boundaries, and discuss the liberating power of finding one's voice.

    The Agony Aunties leave listeners with actionable advice and a reminder that, even in the complexities of family dynamics, personal growth and healing are possible.

    This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self.
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  • Join Julia, Emily, and Sophie as they delve deep into the complexities of relationships, focusing on the intricate web of divorce and affairs. With compassionate hearts and keen insights, our Agony Aunties are here to offer guidance and support.

    The Agony Aunties answer the following questions:

    "My three kids are 19, 17 and 13 and they regularly ask their dad had an affair. The affair woman is now his wife and their stepmother."

    "My husband had an affair and he's left the family home. We have two young children. Can you give me tips to build my strength?"

    "I'm weathering divorce and an ex who moved on immediately. How do I rebuild my self-esteem?"

    As the episode concludes, Julia, Emily, and Sophie reiterate the importance of self-love, open communication, and seeking support during tumultuous times.
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  • In this special bonus episode of Therapy Works, we tackle a critical question many individuals grapple with: "How do I know when it's time to end therapy?". We navigate the complexities of concluding a therapeutic journey, discussing the nuanced factors that contribute to recognising the right time for transition. We explore scenarios where individuals may feel they've achieved specific goals or addressed particular challenges, as well as moments when unexpected issues arise, prompting a desire for continued therapeutic support. We emphasise the significance of mutual recognition between therapist and client, discussing the gradual reduction of sessions and the importance of fostering open communication throughout this process.
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