Afleveringen
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They do. They work 7% more than single men, but how does that impact their marriages? In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss how capitalism screws, well, all of us. All genders, in every sphere.
Topics We Cover:
Married men working more, and why the answer is almost always their wivesOverwork as a tool of oppression—not ambitionThe second shift, the leisure entitlement gap, and who really gets to restWhat Denmark is doing better (spoiler: it’s everything)The disillusionment of “equal partnerships” in a broken systemThe lie of corporate loyalty and the emotional fallout of trying to do it allReferenced Research & Sources:
Richmond Federal Reserve study on married men’s work hoursGender Equity Institute article on overwork and gender gapsOECD stats on Danish work-life balanceWe Grow the World TogetherDiscussions of When We Care, Soul, and Rage Against the Machine (yes, really)Upcoming:
Join us Thursday the 27th for Time to Read! We’re discussing We Grow the World Together—no reading required to attend, just vibes and snacks. 🖤 Register hereConnect With Us:
We’ve moved to Substack! Come rage + rest with us there: timetolean.substack.comShare your thoughts on this episode or come vent about the system in our inbox.Follow us on IG @timetoleanpodDisclaimer: This episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for medical, legal, or therapeutic advice. Just two tired women with microphones and degrees yelling into the void (lovingly).
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Ever wonder what happens when the person keeping everything together… falls apart? Spoiler: it’s not good. This week, we’re diving into the unpaid, undervalued, and often invisible labor of caregiving—who does it, who’s burning out, and why society pretends it's not happening until it’s too late. From Gene Hackman & Betsy Arakawa’s story to Bruce Willis’s wife Emma Hemming Willis calling out caregiving burnout, we break down the brutal reality of care work. Also: why home health workers make less than fast food employees, why women are expected to handle it all, and why we’re all one crisis away from disaster. Oh, and The Sims somehow makes an appearance. You’re welcome.
💬 In This Episode, We Cover:✔️ The caregiving crisis—why it’s invisible until it’s a full-blown emergency
✔️ Who’s checking in on the people keeping us alive? (Spoiler: no one)
✔️ The disgusting wages home health workers are paid (Louisiana: $8.76/hr. What??)
✔️ How COVID normalized exhaustion, burnout, and pretending to be okay
✔️ Why men “don’t need” care… or do they just refuse to admit it?
✔️ Does hyper-individualism kill us faster? Let’s discuss.
Mentioned in this Episode:Bruce Willis’s Wife on Caregiving Burnout: The Guardian
Gene Hackman & Betsy Arakawa Case: New York Times
Home Health Worker Pay in the U.S.: PHI National Report
Women Leaving the Workforce in 2020: Brookings Study
Jessica Slice’s Book on Disability & Caregiving: Unfit Parent, Available for Pre-Order! Find it here
Dr. Han Ren on Moral Dissonance in Care Work: Instagram
Mia Birdsong’s Book on Community & Care: How We Show Up – Get it here
Support the Pod & Join the Community!Join our Patreon! Get bonus episodes, extra resources, and our book club → patreon.com/timetoleanpod
Follow us on Instagram: @timetoleanpod
DM us your thoughts, rants, or caregiving horror stories. We read them all!
Reminder: If you know someone who’s always holding everything together—check on them today. Seriously.
🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing in this episode should be taken as medical, mental health, or legal advice. Time to Lean is not a replacement for therapy, professional medical treatment, or individualized support. If you're struggling, please reach out to a licensed professional. 🚨
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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What factors help you to decide how hard or simple a household task is? Ellie Windle, CEO and founder of Persist, set out to answer that very question. In this episode, Laura and Crystal interview Ellie about the factors that led to Persist's creation, and reflect on the myriad of ways it has helped to make the invisible labor of the household, visible and valuable.
Persist's Website Take the FREE CareLoad assessment and/or use the code DANGER30 for 30% off!
Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod
Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod
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Domestic Violence Resources
Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)
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We know this probably isn't your most burning question, but did you see this video of him last week? Laura and Crystal discuss the double standard of Elon's public displays of fatherhood, and the tokenism of his pro-natal movement. Y'all, we're tired.
Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod
Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod
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Domestic Violence Resources
Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)
Get bonus content on PatreonHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Laura and Crystal discuss an NPR article that caused quite a stir this week by focusing on men's health while women's rights and freedoms continue to be a target of the current presidential administration. Is it fair? Let's get into it!
Mentioned in this Episode:
New Economy Coalition
Man Box Study
NPR: Men Die Younger Than Women
Miss Diagnosis: A Systemic Review of ADHD in Women
Want to discuss this week's episode with us? Join our Patreon!
Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod
Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod
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Domestic Violence Resources
Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)
Get bonus content on PatreonHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Is there such a thing as "The One?" Is there such a thing as "choosing well" when it comes to a partner, or are we always looking to trade up to a "better model?" Laura and Crystal discuss a quote from Dean Spade's new book, "Love in a F*cked Up World."
Resources discussed in this episode:
We Grow the World Together
Becoming Kin
Emergent Strategies
Love in a F*cked Up World
Tribal Justice on PBS
Restorative Justice
Join our Patreon!
Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod
Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod
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Domestic Violence Resources
Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)
Get bonus content on PatreonHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss recent viral videos that beg the question: When exactly does weaponized incompetence turn into emotional abuse? Is it always emotional abuse?
Resources from this Episode:
Fresh Starts Registry
TheHotline.Org
Power and Control Wheel
Cycle of Abuse Wheel
Join our Patreon!
Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod
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Domestic Violence Resources
Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)
Get bonus content on PatreonHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Ever wonder if your standard for your partner is too high? Too low? Just right? In this episode, Laura and Crystal explore relationship dynamics when special circumstances like chronic illness and mental health are involved. How can a partnership like this be equitable in the domestic labor arena? Can it? Listen and tell us what you think!
Get the "Check Yourself: Guide to Understanding & Supporting Your Own Behavior" resource here!
Join our Patreon!
Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!
Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod
Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod
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Domestic Violence Resources
Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)
Get bonus content on PatreonHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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In this weeks episode Laura and Crystal read a message from a follower and explore the idea of “if they wanted to they would.” We also give some of our thoughts on how to self-reflect to find solutions that work for us.
Get the "Check Yourself: Guide to Understanding & Supporting Your Own Behavior" resource here!
Statistics on Queerness and Neurodivergence
Stardust Cycle Tracker App
The Birds, Bees, and the Elephant in The Room by Rachel Coler Mullhulland
Join our Patreon!
Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!
Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod
Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod
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Domestic Violence Resources
Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)
Get bonus content on PatreonHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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In this episode, we discuss a viral video of a stand-up comedian, whose punchline is how incompetent dads are. We're not laughing.
Join our Patreon!
Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!
Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod
Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod
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Domestic Violence Resources
Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)
Get bonus content on PatreonHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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In this episode of Time to Lean, we share a wild story about a woman who had a three-year-old dropped into the seat next to her on a flight—without a word from the parents. 😳 This unbelievable situation had us thinking about the intense pressures of parenting in public spaces like airplanes. We dive into the anxiety of trying to "prepare for anything," the mental load we carry as parents, and how societal expectations shape the way we navigate these moments. We also explore the implications of neglecting child safety and how weaponized incompetence shows up in unexpected ways. Buckle up for this one—it’s a ride!
Here's the link to the original video!
Join our Patreon!
Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!
Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod
Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod
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Domestic Violence Resources
Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)
Get bonus content on PatreonHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the complexities of family dynamics, particularly in the context of a viral gender reveal and the emotional labor involved in navigating relationships. They explore the concept of the 'mama's boy' dynamic, the importance of setting boundaries, and the cultural contexts that influence these interactions. The conversation also touches on the emotional toll of familial expectations and the need for self-awareness in managing relationships, especially during the holiday season.
Mentioned on this episode:
Link to the original video!
Join our Patreon!
Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!
Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod
Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod
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Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt
Domestic Violence Resources
Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)
Get bonus content on PatreonHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Laura and Crystal discuss a viral video that ironically covers not only the Nag Paradox but also the double-standard myth that working outside the home should make a partner exempt from working inside the home with the other partner.
Mentioned on this episode:
Link to the original video!
Join our Patreon!
Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!
Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod
Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod
Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat
Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt
Domestic Violence Resources
Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)
Get bonus content on PatreonHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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You know the phrase "Happy Wife, Happy Life?" Well in this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss a refreshing take on this tired saying by creator @livunderthestairs. They discuss how it can be reframed more equitably, emphasizing shared responsibilities and emotional labor in relationships.
Mentioned on this episode:
Link to the original video!
The Tragedy of Heterosexuality
Join our Patreon!
Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!
Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod
Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod
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Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt
Domestic Violence Resources
Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)
Get bonus content on PatreonHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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On this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the viral Ballerina Farm Time's Article. We delve into the unequal division of labor, the pressure on mothers to prioritize their kids and role as mom above all else, and the lack of autonomy and self-care for mothers.
Mentioned on this episode:
The viral Time's article on Ballerina Farm
Marie Claire's Article on the Evie Cover
All Fours by Miranda July
Sara Peterson's Article Re: Ballerina Farm
Join our Patreon!
Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here!
Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod
Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod
Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat
Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt
Domestic Violence Resources
Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)
Get bonus content on PatreonHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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We have a listener-submitted question! Queen of Group Projects wants to know if she should feel bad for wanting her partner to do his own tasks ON HIS OWN, rather than together. Crystal and Laura discuss the purpose of delegating tasks, the benefits of alone time, and how to connect outside of the mundane day-to-day!
For resources and SO MUCH MORE; Join our Patreon!
Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod
Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod
Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat
Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt
Domestic Violence Resources
Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)
Get bonus content on PatreonHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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This week's episode has us grappled with some conflicted feelings. We discuss an AITA where someone asks if they're being a jerk by not helping their partner who says they're overwhelmed by the holiday tasks - the same tasks the original poster handled on their own for years. Scratch your head and spiral out along with us.
**Oops, you may notice this week's episode had the wrong audio on it! SORRY ABOUT THAT! - Laura
You can find the resources we mention here: On our Patreon!
For AD FREE episodes, resources and SO MUCH MORE; Join our Patreon!
Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod
Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod
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Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt
Domestic Violence Resources
Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)
Get bonus content on PatreonHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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In this episode, we explore a viral video featuring a woman who always says she wants to relax, yet when the moment finally comes, she can’t help but get up and keep doing something around the house. We talk through the relatable feeling of never truly switching off, especially for women who feel that even their downtime at home has to be “productive.” Join us as we spiral through the compulsion to stay busy and how deeply it’s tied to societal expectations.
For AD FREE episodes, resources and SO MUCH MORE; Join our Patreon!
Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod
Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod
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Domestic Violence Resources
Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)
We <3 Data! Find some of the research we cited below!
https://dornsife.usc.edu/news/stories/moms-cognitive-burden-chores/
Gaps in free time
The cognitive load!
Time Use Data
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A very special episode, post-election. What now?
Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline
What Are My Values? Free Worksheet from Us
Fresh Starts Registry
Fresh Starts Experts (if you're in need of a financial advisor or therapist or anyone to walk you through next steps)
Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod
Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod
Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat
Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt
Domestic Violence Resources
Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)
Get bonus content on PatreonHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod
Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod
Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat
Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt
Domestic Violence Resources
Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)
Resources Mentioned This Episode:
DBT Assertiveness Scripts: https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DBT-IE-4-Assertiveness-Scripts-and-Interpersonal-Rights-compressed.pdf
DBT Boundaries Worksheet: https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DBT-IE-8-Interpersonal-Boundaries-compressed.pdf
DBT What Are Interpersonal Boundaries?: https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/interpersonal-effectiveness/interpersonal-boundaries/
Gottman Four Horsemen and Antidotes: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-the-antidotes/
DBT TIPP: https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/distress-tolerance/tipp/
Distress Tolerance STOPP: https://www.hey.nhs.uk/wp/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/OHC_STOPP.pdf
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