Afleveringen
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Hope and mental health. They seem quite linked, but what helps them both to dance together well?
I recently had a picture pop into my head. It was a headstone, in a cemetery, and engraved into the old tired stone was the name of the deceased ā Hope.
Not a personās name, but more the concept of hope. That things might get better.
Hope had died, was buried, was gone, and had left the building.
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You need better boundaries. How many have said this to you? How about a better knowing of yourself first? #boundaries
Better boundaries come from the inside out
Three types of boundaries
1. Imposed boundaries.
2. Adopted boundaries.
3. Internalised Owned boundaries.
Read this post https://turningthepage.co.nz/better-boundaries/
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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I want to stir you up. Not to stir up anger or trouble. Actually, quite the opposite, but to love and good works.
So often I hear in people a tiredness, a lethargy, even a complete deadness to something that sits resident within their souls.
Maybe they have been put down, criticised, mocked, or ignored. They might have shared something deep, but it wasnāt listened to well.
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We carry so much load, but what if we were unburdened? Perhaps the donkey might learn to dance light and free.
It's an image that tells a story.
The story of a heavy laden down camel carrying a load of straw and the little proverb 'the final straw that broke the camel's back'
It's the load. The burden. It's the feather.
The weight, awkwardness, and struggle that eventually takes one out.
What are you carrying?
What weighs upon your thinking and bends upon your back?
Read this post https://turningthepage.co.nz/unburdened-from-what-has-been/
šļøāšØļø About Barry Pearman https://turningthepage.co.nz/about-barry-pearman/
Posts about Forgiveness https://turningthepage.co.nz/forgiveness-and-mental-health/
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We all have problems, but we can over-personalise them. But the problem is the problem. The problem is not the person.
Read this post https://turningthepage.co.nz/the-problem-is-the-problem-not-the-person/
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Do you find it easier to slide in your thinking to the negative than to the good?
I need help and I think you do too.
Not so much to keep focusing on the positive, but to keep focused on truth ā Godās truth, how God sees everything.
How you talk about God is how you talk about everything.
I need help to balance my brain with a kind of grounded God reality that keeps me running true and straight.
Not too much negative that might drag me away and under waves of despair.
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We have obvious problems, but real problems, the ones that drive us to unwell ness, can only be resolved by deep soul work. What's going on underneath?
We have problems. Every one reading this will have multiple problems.
I just got news from a family member that the biopsies came back negative for cancer. A huge problem has been resolved. Relief floods my soul.
Some problems are obvious. I need food for dinner, a home to live in, a job. I need a friend who won't use and abuse me. I need security.
They are very real problems.
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Youāve got nothing left. An empty love tank, weightless and vulnerable. But you want love. Who and what will fill the need?
The water tank was empty. I opened up the lid on the tank and immediately I could smell the residue of silt lying on the bottom of the tank.
No rain had entered the tank for weeks and slowly the water had drained out until now it was empty. Any water in the tank was dirty, putrid, and vile.
I have talked with people who are like this water tank. They have drained their life, emptied their love tank out for the sake of othersā needs, and now there is an emptiness. Often there is a bitterness, resentment and a feeling of being used.
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We like to be self-reliant, but at times we need help, so we need a rescue plan. I got stuck in the mud a few days ago.
I had been driving my small truck in the countryside and decided to do a u-turn. I crossed over the road and on to the soil and I got stuck in the mud. I hadnāt realised that it was so wet and mucky.
I instantly stopped, as I knew that if I kept trying to get out, I would just dig myself in further.
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Our brains can keep reminding us. āMy Sin is Ever Before Meā writes the poet, but what if we had a purifier?
Read more here
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Iāve got too much going on in my life, but I want to keep my life simple, so I discard the complex.
Heās a fictional character and I like the freedom he has.
His name is Jack reacher and is the creation of Lee Child.
Jack Reacher has the life of a nomad. He wanders from town to town and solves problems, generally with a lot of violence. That part is not what Iām keen on, but there is something unique about his life.
Itās extremely simple.
He travels mostly by hitchhiking, and all he carries is an ATM Card and a toothbrush.
Thatās all.
If he needs new clothes, he buys them. He doesnāt carry a bag or even a cell phone.
He is free from all the possessions that we would normally call essential. His possessions donāt own him.
Sounds good doesnāt it? Maybe, but he doesnāt have a spouse, girlfriend, kids or relational commitments.
Itās a simple life, which has an appeal, but itās a life of a loner.
Does this appeal to something in you?
Is there something within you that would love to walk away from the complexity of stuff?
Iāve shifted house three times in the last three years and I have got rid of a lot of things. Trailer loads.
Itās freeing. Itās liberating to cut your life down to the minimum.
I donāt think I will ever get to the āJack Reacherā phase, although I wouldnāt mind trying it for a few weeks to see what it would be like.
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Being caught in a trap was felt by the poet who wrote āThe Snares of Death Encompassed Meā, but they had a way out.
I was recently watching one of those āsurvivalā reality T.V. shows where people are thrown into the wilderness and they have to survive.
The show was called āAloneā and was in Tasmania, Australia.
To survive, they had to catch their own food and build their own shelter, etc.
One contestant decided to try to catch a Pademelon which is like a tiny kangaroo.
So he made a snare trap
A snare trap is basically a rope noose that, when an animal passes through, it triggers the rope to tighten quickly around the animal and it is caught and canāt escape.
The hunter can then come and kill the animal.
But imagine the sense of being trapped by a rope. A rope that has grabbed you and you canāt get free. The more you struggle, the tighter it gets.
It might even be a net, and you are knotted into the mesh of the net.
Your heart is thumping. Youāve lost control and freedom.
Enter a poet who has been in that place.
read more here
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I need wisdom ointment, but so much ointment contains flies. Wisdom that comes from above, wisdom that is pure and holy.
I was visiting a friend the other day, and she noticed I had some eczema on my hand. It had been there a few days and was slightly irritated and red. She offered to rub some ointment into the skin. I gladly accepted.
Touch is a wonderful thing, especially when it regards a skin disease. She gently worked in the ointment and I could feel the pain ease away. I almost teared up because someone had noticed, cared and offered ointment and love.
I checked out the tube of ointment she had taken a small dab of ointment from. Looking over the ingredients, I noticed that there were no dead flies in the mix.
There were no āflies in the ointmentā as such.
Itās a funny litt
le saying, but I think it comes from the wisdom writings of Ecclesiastes.
Dead flies make the perfumerās ointment give off a foul odour;so a little folly outweighs wisdom and honour. Ecclesiastes 10:1
The eczema is no longer there, but maybe the touch and the offering of wisdom to pain remains.
So I wrote a poem!
Read more here
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We all have painful experiences in life, but redeemed pain is more impressive than removed pain. What good can be found within in our pain?
Sometimes I am given a gift voucher.
It has no value tangibly in itself. It is but a piece of plastic the size of a credit card.
The value lies within what has been loaded onto it. Some kind person has placed a dollar value into its electronic magnetic memory (donāt ask me how this works).
Then, if I remember that I have this card and the money on it, I can go to a store and āredeemā the value of what has been placed on this card.
I can exchange the card and receive back something good.
We donāt use the word āredeemā very much but it comes from the two words re- ābackā + emere ābuyā.
Redeem means to ābuy backā.
I present the card and the shop owner buys it back to the value placed on the card.
I would like to suggest you have a card in our purse or wallet and on it contains all the painful experiences you have had.
Ouch, for some this card would have a lot of weight to it. A lot of energy, grief, pain, loss, anger, resentment, bitterness, etc is locked up in that card.
That card is heavy and you carry it around with you everywhere you go.
It eats away at us. It changes us. The thinking patterns in our brain are trained by this burden.
What can be done with the energy of this pain?
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We all have pain and we want the pain to stop, but the pain is telling us something. What if we could identify the pain and stop the suicide slide?
Itās pain and we want it to stop.
It could be physical pain from body ailments, but it could also be pain coming from traumas past and present. Grief, loss, anger, loneliness, the daily stress load of life that causes us to slump. Itās pain.
Recently I learned something about pain.
For the past year, Iāve had a sore back. I would take panadol at night to help me sleep. I also went to a physiotherapist and did exercises. All of which helped a little, but not completely.
I was living was in a rented cottage on a farm. I had been living and working there for quite a while. But then I got the news in April 2023 that it would be sold.
So many unknowns.
read more here
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The practices of your week and day may drain your life, but what practices restore your soul?
āOh, thatās so good for the soulā
Sometimes I hear people say that. Sometimes I say it myself.
Itās that moment when you feel a restoring of something drained out of you. You feel like your energy tank has been topped up.
Often, this comes as a result of a practice or an activity that you do.
Practice ā something you regularly do. An activity, habit, or custom.
What are some practices that restore the soul?
What do you do that helps restore your inner life?
Read the post here
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Life and activity can drain our mental health, but there are places to restore. Take notice and soak in them.
There is a place I want to go to. The gardens are beautiful. Full of colour all year round. Fruit trees are full of ripe fruit ready to be eaten.
There are beaches sparkling with shells and sand. Fish swim in the sea and there are waves perfect for surfing. The sunrises and sunsets are magical. Soft tender hues changing every minute.
The food that is provided is tasty, nutritious, and good. Large tables for abundant parties but also little tables for intimate connections.
The beds provided are perfect to sink into and you fall into a deep, secure sleep.
Soft music and perfumes fill the air.
Your favourite people are there too. Friends, family, soulmates, all enjoying the dance.
A place to restore the soul.
Read more here
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Some people can help you restore. Some you need to put out of the room. What are six qualities of people that restore the soul?
Life can give you a battering at times, but there are some people that seem to be able to come alongside and help you restore.
I didnāt need advice or problem solving. I didnāt want someone to tell me āIt will be alright.ā
I simply needed someone to be there.
To be a strand of the community nest that I was in.
I have lots of people in my life. Most are helpful and supportive. Some I have some firm boundaries around because they can be quite hurtful.
But there are some people that, in my darkest moments, when my cup of life has drained out, are the ones that will come and empower me to restore.
In this series about restoring the soul, I suggest that there are three āPāsā needed to restore the soul. The first of these is people.
Read more here
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The soul can get completely drained, but what restores the soul? What can bring it back to life? People, places, and practices.
Life can be draining. Too much going or too much has gone on. Now it feels like the energy tank is on āEā. Empty, Exhausted and not Enough.
You have nothing in reserve and you know that tomorrow will probably be the same.
This has become a pattern.
You give and give. You know you canāt give out of an empty cup, but it feels like the smallest of droplets in the cup are being absorbed away by someone elseās tissue paper.
read more here
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Are you scared to receive? To receive might just undo a carefully constructed sense of being in control, but little drops of love open the rustiest of doors.
I know someone who is very generous to me. In fact, this website and my ability to get content out is only possible due to their technical wisdom and support.
He has a very generous lifestyle.
But what is it like to receive when you know you know that you canāt respond in like fashion?
We live in a very transactional world.
You do this for me and so I must do that for youYou work so many hours and so here is the financial compensation for the giving of that energy.You do the crime; you do the timeYou made your bed now you have to sleep on itItās justice and retribution, not mercy and graceBlack and WhiteIn or outWe like it that way because we like straight lines. Fairness, balance, correctness, energy out, energy in.
And then someone says āI love youā and you have no words to respond.
Read this further here Sign up for my weekly email full of help for your Mental Health, Faith and Spiritual Formation. FOLLOW ME!Email me: [email protected]: https://turningthepage.co.nz/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/turningthepage1atatimeTwitter: https://twitter.com/barrypearmanInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/barry_pearman/Podcast https://turningthepage.co.nz/podcast-listen-mental-health/Support Turning the Page with a Donation https://turningthepage.co.nz/give/
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