Afleveringen
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When things don’t go our way in life, its easy to get caught up in self-doubt and become our very own harshest critic. We wonder why we let something happen or why we keep doing this particular thing. Many times we are often saying, why were you being who you are but a friend recently said something brilliant that made me realize that what I needed to do was not be overly critical of myself but rather do a slight perspective shift. This is what I did recently and like magic, instantly, any negative self talk ceased to exist. Listen in if you get annoyed with your “faults” to see how you can see them differently and how you can realize the upside.
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This concept of you experiencing the world as you are is a hard one to grasp unless you have experimented with it. We all have different voices in our head and often times on auto-pilot we listen to the one rooted in fear without even realizing it. In this episode, I share a big realization I had around why we gravitate towards the voice rooted in fear and how to gently encourage yourself to listen to the one rooted in love and compassion instead. How you see someone or a situation can completely change depending on the lens you choose. Obviously if this were easy to do, everyone would do it. Its not easy but I was blown away by this simple method that Gary Zukav enlightened me with and guess what, it works! Check out this episode to learn what this is.
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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What does “being happy” really mean? How do you answer that question? Have you ever answered that question with a “but” or hesitated before answering? You’re not alone - most people do. I realized recently that we tend to hesitate because we aren’t quite sure how to measure it. Is it the big moments like time with friends or family, playing with your kids, being on vacation? In this episode I unpack how these big moments are actually not the right way to measure whether you are happy, and how you can tap into the real answer for you. There is no wrong answer to this question because even a “no” helps us in an unexpected way which I dive into. Listen in to unpack a question that is commonly asked but explained enough.
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At some point or another, I think we all have experienced our mind going down the “what if” path - what if that didn’t happen, what if I said this instead, etc. It is normal but it doesn’t have to be something we deal with all the time. This weekend something unexpected happened that inspired a conversation with my kids about the “what if” trap our mind can sometimes get caught up in and why we should train our mind to stop it and how. It took me down memory lane when I remember getting caught up in this trap and how over the years I stopped falling for that trap. Do you every get caught up in the “what if” trap? You are definitely not alone. Tune in this week as I unpack the “what if” trap we all have experienced at one point or another.
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Consuming information is one thing but putting it to use and embodying what you learn is a whole other thing. How can you tell whether you are actually growing from the things you are experiencing or learning? I stumbled across something recently that helped me see I had reached a certain level of growth that I hadn’t before. It had to do with how I reacted when I knew I was being misunderstood by a group of people. Listen in as I share my experience and how I used my reaction as a litmus test of whether I was growing in the right direction or not.
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Do you think those who judge & are negative but don’t say it out loud are better than people who keep it to themselves? I think there is a huge misconception around this that I clear up in this episode. I’m learning to appreciate the people who are real even if it comes off as rude, blunt, not polished. We often judge and dismiss because it isn’t often comfortable to be around it and quite honestly, we aren’t used to it because more people hide those parts of themselves than show them. I’m at stage in my life where I don’t want to waste time deciphering who you are. Just show me so we can both make the best decision for us and then move on. Listen in as I find a new found appreciation for people who may make us cringe but also don’t make us wonder about who they are.
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I don’t care which side of the fence you are, the truth is there is A LOT of outside noise right now. Outside noise that can provide input for our own lives is one thing but outside noise that we have no control over and can’t change, can make us feel helpless and frustrated. This episode isn’t a “let me show you how I did it” but rather a reminder for myself as I noticed myself getting “off track” by all the outside noise. Outside noise takes our focus away from the things in front of us so tune in to this episode, if you, like myself, want to snap out of it and bring your focus back to the things you can actually control and influence for the better.
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Somewhere along the way, many of us decided we had to be nice no matter what and that it comes before everything else. Being 'nice' was the badge of honor for being a good person, being liked, showing that you are evolved and awakened. And yes on the surface this all makes sense but not when we are doing it at the expense of being our authentic selves. Modern day self help and spirituality has led us astray from what the true end goal is, and we are sacrificing the real end goal just so we can be “nice and kind” to get external validation and praise. In this episode, I unpack why so many of us have it backwards and why it is important to lead with authenticity over being nice.
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Hard moments in our life can feel like a disruption to our happy, positive, upbeat lives but life was never designed for your comfort, it had a greater purpose, and if we stray away from the purpose of life, it has built in systems in place to help jolt us back onto the right path. How cool is that? But it takes some effort and practice to be able to spot these moments in our life, especially if we don’t know how to or that something like this even exists. In this episode, I share why I get goosebumps just thinking about how life has always had my back and nudged me in the right direction when I am astray. Listen in to spot these moments in your life so you can take full advantage of life’s nudges.
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The obvious answer would be, yes you have to deal with the hard, uncomfortable things that come to you in your life but what does “deal with it” mean? Many do and will avoid, deny, dismiss instead of going through it. I’ve done it many times as well. The thing we don’t realize is that there is a consequence to doing this. If true authentic, strength could be built by avoiding, denying, dismissing then no one would ever deal with hard things in any other way. Having handled hard moments both ways myself, I can tell you there is a difference and only one way creates true strength, growth and authenticity. In this episode, I talk about why and what I have noticed as I have experimented with both methods in my life.
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The irony of perfectionism is that we chase it because we want people to accept us, like us, be impressed by us BUT in reality chasing perfectionism makes people feel less connected to us. How often do we love people because of how perfect they are? Rarely - and yet, we strive to be perfect. In this episode, I dive into when perfectionism becomes an issue and how it is truly perceived by others even though it helps us feel protected. Perfectionism also robs us of the true purpose of our being here on this planet and the experiences it gives us every single day. Listen in as I dive into all things perfectionism.
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Whether we realize it or not we sometimes pick and choose the parts of our life we want to show up for and put in the hard work for. For some parts - we might be intimidated by what needs to be done, we may not know how to tackle, we might be uncomfortable with the situation, so we avoid it. Purpose isn’t about achieving money and career goals - its about tackling what life is throwing at you at any given moment because you trust that that is what you are meant to tackle in that moment. You can also avoid your purpose by you avoiding the hard and uncomfortable things in your life. People go their entire lifetimes not showing up for the hard parts of life but I learned recently that when you show up fully - for the good, the bad, the ugly - something amazing happens. In this episode I dive into why its so important to show up and put in the work in all aspects of your life, especially the ones you are avoiding and make you uncomfortable.
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I recently noticed that our idea of who we are at this very moment may not be fully based in reality. Why is this? There is who we think we are, who we are in this moment and who we want to be. All 3 of these things are not always aligned. We are often transitioning between the old us and the new us. What happens to our idea of who we are during these periods? Spiritual teachings say “know who you are” but I realized this could be misleading. In this episode, I dive into all of this and how better understanding what “know who you are” means can actually help you actually better know who you are, and ways that have helped me.
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Through my own experiences and hearing from many others recently, I realized that many people are being called to take a closer look at things they have been doing on autopilot for many years. Things that they dismissed, shoved under the rug and ignored, were now staring them in the face, forcing them to address it. People are being challenged to question their old ways of doing things. I felt this shift within me over the last few months and it has been hard and painful but the reward is moving closer to who you are, being more of your authentic self, having your outer world be more aligned with who you are. These are incredible things but can feel really hard and lonely. I share my own experience and journey around this in this episode. I hope it makes you feel understood and heard, and less alone in whatever journey you may be going through as we all kick off this new year.
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Is it possible that we might be missing the point of being human if we do not allow ourselves to feel deeply? Why do we stop ourselves or judge ourselves when we feel things deep within our being? I wonder if the message that we shouldn’t live in our feelings long enough to cause suffering somehow turned into not feeling at all, being stoic at all times, being even keel at all times. Some of the most wonderful humans I know, feel big ! Why is that? I unpack all of this and how I realized that it was never about not feeling deeply, I just needed to reframe what it meant to feel deeply.
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These days “values” has become a word like many others that we sometimes casually and carelessly throw around. I recently realized its a lot easier to recite what our values are, than to defend them, speak up for them, walk away because of them. There are people who simply talk about values and then those who integrate them into how they live their life. In this episode, I talk about this realization I had and what I started observing in my own life and around me. It’s easier to bend the rules as far as your values go then to be a stickler about them but in an experiment I did, I realized that there is a surprising outcome to sticking to your values despite the discomfort and fears. Listen in as I unpack the complexities of "values."
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It’s so easy to feel insignificant in this gigantic planet of 8 billion people but I don’t think we would if we truly understand the collective energy that is at play in the universe. It may sound overwhelming or out of reach to think of a collective energy but in this episode, I break down what that means for me and how I realized there was such a thing as collective energy that I am actively contributing to every single day of my life, making my life a significant part of the world. In this episode, I give a different perspective on what changing the world means. Listen in to see why what you do every day of your life - the choices, the actions, the focus, the words, the thoughts, matters more than you know.
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Everything our mind spews out isn’t always true. Sometimes its simply to soothe us and make us feel better. It’s goal isn’t always to feed you accurate information but to rather make you feel better. In doing so, sometimes we become judgmental and critical of others when the relationship changes or when people don’t include us. Rather than accepting that maybe the season for this relationship has ended, we feel the need to justify the why. I noticed this in myself and others recently and wanted to unpack it. I wanted to get to a place where I didn’t live in the judgment phase or even skipped it at times. Relationships ebb and flow throughout our life so learning to deal with them with grace and love is always something that will come in handy. Check this episode out where I unpack the how!
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One of the biggest challenges in relationships tends to be that they are not behaving in the way we expect. The question we fail to ask is - did their behavior change from the past or is it the same? Where did our expectations of them come from? Changing others is rarely the solution because, as we all have probably experienced, its not an easy thing to do. So what do you do in this situation? Complaining about it year after year is exhausting and, honestly, pointless. When I took a minute to change the focus from them to myself, I realized where I was going wrong in my way of thinking. And when I figured out the shift I needed to make in my mindset, the frustration and disappointment dissipated. It's that transformative and instant. Check this episode out as I share my own journey and discoveries around this topic.
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I recently did two of the most physically strenuous things I have ever done in my life and of course, I had a lot of realizations and unpacking that I wanted to share with you. From why you should do things outside of your comfort zone to the bonding that happens when you do hard things together to what true character means and so much more. You may not care about hiking for 15 hours like I did but the realizations are applicable to whatever speaks to you. It taught me and reminded me of a lot of life lessons and I am hooked on getting outside of my comfort zone more and more - you dont know what you dont know until you do it. So many parts of us want us to stay in the comfort zone but something incredible happens when you tap into a part of you, you didn’t realize was there.
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