Afleveringen

  • S1E37 Unraveling Shelli

    S1E37 Unraveling Shelli

    · Unraveling Me

    S1 E37 Unraveling Shelli - Shelli’s story is about surviving childhood without the care every child deserves, doing the hard work to become healthy, and learning that patience is sometimes part of protection. Shelli spent much of her childhood raising herself. She grew up with a mother who could be magnetic and beautiful to the outside world, but emotionally unavailable and rejecting at home. Her brothers were much older, her raising father was largely absent, and Shelli learned early that comfort, affection, and safety were not things she could count on from the adults around her. Throughout her life, people repeatedly asked Shelli if she was part of an ethnicity she did not believe she was so she took an Ancestry test expecting only ethnicity answers. Instead, she opened her matches and saw her mother—and a man she had never met before.


    (Content warning: This episode contains discussion of childhood neglect, emotional abuse, abandonment, attempted self-abortion, and sexual harassment/exposure)


    SHOW NOTES

    In this deeply honest and layered conversation, Kara and Shelli discuss:


    Growing up with emotional neglect and “quiet abuse”The lifelong impact of being unwanted, unseen, and left to raise yourselfBeing a fatherless daughter and growing up without a stable parental bondHow painful truths can sometimes bring validation and clarityWhy slowing down before first contact can matterThe brutality of waiting for a response from genetic familyThe emotional complexity of joining a family system already in motion when you’ve never really had a family system of your ownBoundaries, patience, therapy, and refusing to accept less than she deserve

    Her reunion is still new, but it has already given her something she once could not imagine: emotionally available people who are kind, curious, and willing to make room. This episode is a powerful reminder that truth can hurt and heal at the same time. And sometimes the right people finally show up and say: you belong here.


    Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.


    At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.


    For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S1E36 Unraveling Steve & Becky

    S1E36 Unraveling Steve & Becky

    · Unraveling Me

    S1 E36 Unraveling Steve & Becky - Steve and Becky’s story is raw, funny, painful, and almost unbelievable—except it is true and documented. Their book, DNA Did Not Anticipate, takes readers even deeper into the twists, losses, discoveries, and moments of healing that followed Steve’s DNA surprise. It is part memoir, part mystery, and part roadmap for anyone trying to make sense of a truth they never saw coming. Steve thought he was taking a DNA test to explore the Native American ancestry he had always been told was part of his story. Instead, his results revealed a first cousin in Prince Edward Island, Canada, a match that made no sense with his Kentucky-based family history.


    What followed was a life-is-stranger-than-fiction unraveling. With the help of his wife Becky, a part-time genealogist, Steve began uncovering hidden family secrets, a father he never knew, and pieces of his mother’s past that completely changed how he understood his own story.


    SHOW NOTES

    In this conversation, Kara, Steve, and Becky discuss:

    Taking a DNA test to search for Native American ancestryDiscovering people who did not fit in your known family treeThe moment we realize we’re not who we thought we wereHow a spouse’s support can be key in processing a DNA surpriseSeeing himself reflected in a picture of your father for the first timeThe shock, grief, anger, shame, and eventual peace from an NPEHow DNA surprises ripple through spouses, children, siblings, and extended familyRewriting how you look at familyWriting their book, DNA Did Not Anticipate

    This episode is about family, marriage, loss, humor, identity, and the kind of truth that leaves people saying, “You can’t make this stuff up.”


    Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.


    At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.


    For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.



    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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  • S1E35 Unraveling Michelle S

    S1E35 Unraveling Michelle S

    · Unraveling Me

    S1 E 35 Unraveling Micelle S - Michelle’s story is layered, funny, honest, and full of hard-earned wisdom. She shows us that adoption is not a single event, but something that shapes a person across a lifetime—in identity, relationships, parenting, advocacy, and healing. Michelle grew up knowing she was adopted, and by many measures, she had what people often call a “good adoption.” She was loved, cared for, and raised by parents who told her the truth from the beginning. But as Michelle’s story reminds us, even a good adoption does not erase the trauma of separation, the ache of missing genetic mirrors, or the lifelong work of figuring out where you belong.


    A Baby Scoop Era adoptee, Michelle was five days old when she was brought home by her raising parents. Adoption was known in her family, but not always easy to talk about. Beneath the surface, Michelle carried a deep fear of hurting or disappointing the parents who raised her, especially her mother, whose own unresolved grief shaped much of Michelle’s experience.


    SHOW NOTES

    In this conversation, Kara and Michelle discuss:

    Growing up adopted while sensing there were still emotional limits around the topicWhat it means to have a “good adoption” and still be deeply affected by adoptionFeeling othered in childhood, even in small everyday momentsThe pressure to protect a raising parent’s feelingsMeeting her husband, who was also adopted, and building a family togetherThe experience of genetic mirroring when their first child was bornHolding relationships with genetic family while managing fear, obligation, and guiltAdvocating for adoptee rights and helping change law around original birth certificatesChild welfare reform, Safe Haven baby boxes, and the need for child-centered policy

    This episode is about reunion, boundaries, genetic identity, and the courage it takes to stop carrying emotions that were never yours to manage. It is also a reminder that love and loss can exist in the same story, and that truth becomes easier to hold when we finally make room for all of it.


    Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.


    At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.


    For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.



    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S1E34 Unraveling Jennie

    S1E34 Unraveling Jennie

    · Unraveling Me

    S1 E34 Unraveling Jennie - Jennie’s story is about more than a DNA test. It is about secrecy, loyalty, medical truth, sibling connection, and the complicated grief of realizing that the people who loved you also kept something essential from you. Jennie took a DNA test because she wanted to know more about her father’s side of the family. Her dad had died of cancer when she was 23, and with her mother’s genealogy already carefully documented, Jennie hoped 23andMe would help fill in the missing pieces. But when her results came back, Jennie found multiple half-siblings she did not recognize. What began as curiosity quickly became a life-changing discovery.


    SHOW NOTES

    In this conversation, Kara and Jennie discuss:

    Taking a DNA test for ancestry and discovering unexpected half-siblingsHer mother’s warning not to test and the missed chance to tell the truth firstRe-examining childhood memories, family photos, and old questions through a new lensThe grief of realizing her dad chose to be her father, but never got to share that truth openlyThe medical consequences of being given incorrect family health historyReaching out to a donor who refuses contactBuilding relationships with donor-conceived siblings and finding genetic mirroring later in lifeTalking openly with her own children so secrecy stops with this generation

    Jennie's story reminds us that there is nothing shameful about donor conception. The harm comes from silence. And sometimes healing begins when one generation finally decides: the secret stops here.


    Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.


    At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.


    For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.



    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S1E33 Unraveling Joesph & Charity

    S1E33 Unraveling Joesph & Charity

    · Unraveling Me

    S1E33 Unraveling Joseph & Charity - Charity spent most of her life believing a painful story about her origins. Raised by her maternal grandparents after the death of her mother, she endured a childhood marked by abuse, silence, and the belief that searching for her father would only uncover more pain. For years, she was told she was conceived through violence and taught not to ask questions. After becoming a mother herself, Charity decided she no longer wanted fear, secrecy, and generational trauma passed down to her own children. A DNA test—and the courage to finally open the results—led her to Joseph.


    What followed was not the story she had been told.


    SHOW NOTES

    In this deeply emotional and hopeful conversation, Kara, Charity, and Joseph discuss:

    Growing up under the weight of family secrecy and emotional manipulationThe impact of childhood abuse, silence, and being taught not to searchUsing DNA testing, genealogy groups, and DNAngels to uncover the truthJoseph learning decades later that he had a daughterNavigating reunion while honoring existing family relationshipsThe importance of grace, patience, and moving slowly through reunionGenetic mirroring, shared traits, and finally seeing yourself reflected in someone elseBreaking cycles of silence and trauma for the next generation

    Charity and Joseph’s story is about far more than finding family. It is about reclaiming truth after years of fear, learning to trust connection after surviving harm, and choosing healing over bitterness. Their reunion is honest, imperfect, hopeful, and deeply human. Together, they remind us that family stories are often more complicated than we are told and that sometimes the truth waiting on the other side is far gentler than the fear that kept us from searching.


    Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.


    At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.


    For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S1E32 Unraveling Melody

    S1E32 Unraveling Melody

    · Unraveling Me

    S1 E32 Melody: Melody took a DNA test for one reason: to search for the younger brother she had not seen since childhood who’d been relinquished to adoption. Instead, her results revealed a truth she never expected.ï»ż Raised African American, Melody opened her DNA results and found close white relatives, no close matches on her mother’s side, and an ethnicity estimate that made no sense with the family story she had always known. What began as a search for her brother became a search for herself.


    SHOW NOTES

    In this thoughtful and layered conversation, Kara and Melody discuss:

    Losing her birth certificate father as a child and being raised by a beloved great-auntDiscovering close white DNA matches and realizing her father was not her genetic fatherBuilding mirror trees and doing months of genetic genealogy researchFinding her genetic father and connecting with several half-siblingsThe complexity of being raised Black and learning her genetic father was whiteNavigating race, belonging, politics, and acceptance within a new familySeeking medical history and answers without wanting anything materialThe ache of never fully knowing how her parents’ relationship began

    Melody’s story is about more than a DNA surprise. It is about race, identity, family stories, and the complicated work of integrating a truth that changes how you understand your past. Her journey reminds us that knowing where we come from matters not because DNA tells the whole story, but because missing pieces shape how we see ourselves, our families, and our place in the world.


    Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.


    At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.


    For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S1E31 Unraveling Dr. Syb

    S1E31 Unraveling Dr. Syb

    · Unraveling Me

    S1E31 Unraveling Dr. Syb: Dr. Syb spent 42 years feeling like something didn’t fit. Then, at a family funeral, a cousin confirmed what her body, spirit, and intuition had long known: she had been adopted. Born during the Baby Scoop Era and raised in a same-race domestic adoption, Dr. Syb grew up in a loving family—but one built around a secret she was expected to carry quietly once the truth came out. For seven years, she did not search, trying to protect the mother who raised her. Eventually, she realized the truth belonged to her too.


    SHOW NOTES

    In this conversation, Kara and Dr. Syb discuss:

    Learning she was adopted through a family commentThe emotional impact of being lied to for decadesBaby Scoop Era adoption and same-race adoption in the Black communityAmended birth certificates and the legal fiction adoptees are forced to useSearching for and finding both genetic familiesThe grief of finding graves instead of living parentsRelationship, attachment, and abandonment wounds after adoptionThe power of names, voice, and reclaiming authorship of your own storyHow friends and family can support someone after a life-changing discovery

    This episode reminds us that secrets do not disappear when people take them to the grave. They leave others to sort through the pieces. And sometimes healing begins when we finally say: this is my story to tell.


    Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.


    At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.


    For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S1E30 Unraveling Nick

    S1E30 Unraveling Nick

    · Unraveling Me

    S1 E 30 Unraveling Nick Nick was supposed to receive a DNA test for his birthday, but his parents asked that the gift be delayed. The next day, they sat him down and told him the results might reveal something unexpected. What followed led Nick to a truth he never imagined. 


    Through both his book Inconceivably Connected and the "Inconceivably Connected Podcast", Nick has transformed his own discovery into a platform for connection and truth-telling. This episode reminds us that even life-altering truths can also be invitations: to understand ourselves more fully, to connect more honestly, and to realize that identity is often far more expansive than we were first told.


    Kara and Nick explore identity, genetic mirroring, family, and what happens when the story you believed about yourself suddenly shifts beneath your feet. 


    SHOW NOTES

    In this episode, Kara and Nick discuss:

    Learning he was donor-conceived the day after his 36th birthday How his parents’ honesty before the DNA test changed his discovery experience Discovering 14 half-siblings The surreal experience of seeing himself reflected in strangers Nature vs. nurture and the power of genetic mirroring Navigating new sibling relationships and redefining family Why his father who raised him remains the hero of his story 

    Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.


    At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.


    For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S1E29 Unraveling Monica H

    S1E29 Unraveling Monica H

    · Unraveling Me

    S1 E 29 Unraveling Monica H Monica was adopted as an infant and raised in Alaska rough-and-tumble 1970s oil boom in a home where much was left unbroken. From early on, she learned to navigate instability, dysfunction, and sexual, emotional, and physical abuse – without the language or support to make sense of it. At 15 after experiencing a sexual assault, Monica became pregnant and was pressured to relinquish her daughter. That loss followed her everywhere, shaping how she understood herself, her relationships, and her place in the world. And then she did the work to understand what happened, reclaim her story, and begin choosing herself.

    (Content warning: This episode contains discussion of child abuse, sexual abuse, and sexual assault.)

    SHOW NOTES

    In this conversation, Kara and Monica discuss:

    Growing up adopted and navigating identity without clear rootsA home shaped by dysfunction, addiction, and silenceDiscovering her MĂ©tis identityThe lasting impact of that loss across her lifeThe emotional complexity of reunion with her genetic family as well as with her daughterBoundaries, self-worth, and learning to choose herself

    Monica shares her story with directness and honesty, naming both what she lived through and what it has taken to keep going. There are no easy resolutions—just the reality of carrying loss, making meaning of it, and continuing forward.


    Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.


    At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.


    For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S1E28 Unraveling Maria

    S1E28 Unraveling Maria

    · Unraveling Me

    S1 E28 Unraveling Maria In this wide-ranging and deeply insightful conversation, Kara and Maria explore what happens when personal discovery intersects with law, ethics, culture, and belonging. Maria was 53 years old, standing in her kitchen, when a DNA test result upended everything she thought she knew about her identity.

    Raised in a deeply Catholic family, with a Filipino immigrant mother and an Irish American father, Maria’s life had always felt coherent, until a test revealed she was half Ashkenazi Jewish.


    SHOW NOTES

    Kara and Maria discuss:

    Receiving unexpected DNA results and the immediate unraveling that followedConfronting parental secrecy and navigating a mother unwilling to engageThe search for, and eventual relationship with, her genetic fatherHow late discovery reshapes identity, faith, and cultural belongingThe legal and ethical risks of consumer DNA testing, including privacy and insurance concernsMisattributed parentage and the broader policy gaps affecting NPEs, adoptees, and donor-conceived peopleSobriety, trauma, and the importance of support when facing life-altering truthsThe tension between truth-telling and protecting family secrets

    Maria brings both personal vulnerability and professional insight as an attorney, offering a perspective that goes beyond individual story into systemic impact. Her experience led her to write Before and After the DNA Test, a comprehensive guide to the legal, medical, and ethical realities many people never consider before “spitting in a tube.”


    Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.


    At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.


    For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S1E27 Unraveling Aaron & Jess

    S1E27 Unraveling Aaron & Jess

    · Unraveling Me

    S1 E27 Unraveling Aaron & Jess In this thoughtful and often funny conversation, Kara, Aaron, and Jess explore what happened when a long-abstract donor relationship became real—and how that reality slowly reshaped all of their lives. What begins as a donor-conception story becomes something much more unexpected: a conversation about the many ways family can take shape. Years after choosing an unknown donor because it felt like the safest legal and emotional choice, Jess’s daughter took a DNA test to learn more about her ancestry and found Aaron right away. What followed was not just a new connection for a donor-conceived child, but the beginning of an evolving relationship between two adults trying to navigate unfamiliar terrain with care, curiosity, and respect.


    SHOW NOTES

    Kara, Aaron, and Jess discuss:

    Why choose an unknown donor in the first placeWhat donor conception looked like in the early 2000s, before photos, social media, and widespread DNA testingAaron’s decision to take a DNA testA child’s experience of donor discovery when the truth was never hiddenHow Jess and Aaron built trust while following her daughter’s leadThe emotional complexity of genetics, parenting, and belonging

    This episode challenges old assumptions about what makes a parent, what makes a family, and how connection can grow when honesty is there from the beginning. Aaron and Jess show that while genetics matter, relationships matter too, and neither has to cancel out the other. Their story is a reminder that sometimes the families we build do not fit familiar templates, but can still be rooted in care, respect, and love.


    Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.


    At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.


    For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S1E26 Unraveling Amanda

    S1E26 Unraveling Amanda

    · Unraveling Me

    S1 E25 - Unraveling Amanda - Amanda speaks with honesty, perspective, and compassion—for herself, her parents, and the complexity of the choices made long before she had a voice in them. In this thoughtful and deeply reflective conversation, Kara and Amanda explore what it means to carry a truth for years, sometimes quietly, sometimes in pieces, and what it takes to finally live openly inside it.


    Amanda’s story begins before DNA testing was widely available. At 20 years old, when her father asked her to take a paternity test and quietly revealed he had always had doubts about her paternity. What followed was not just a confirmation of truth, but the beginning of a decades-long journey through identity, secrecy, connection, and ultimately, self-acceptance.


    SHOW NOTES

    Kara and Amanda discuss:

    Discovering the truth before the era of direct-to-consumer DNA testingHow honesty strengthened her relationship with her raising fatherConfronting parental secrecy, shame, and long-held silenceSearching for, and ultimately connecting with, her genetic fatherNavigating expanded family dynamics, including siblings and stepfamilyThe emotional toll of living “two lives” and the turning point toward opennessGrief not just for loss, but for lost time and missed opportunities

    Amanda's story reminds us that The Truth doesn’t always arrive all at once. Sometimes it unfolds over years. Finding the courage to live openly within it can be its own kind of healing.


    Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.


    At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.


    For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S1E25 Unraveling Lisa

    S1E25 Unraveling Lisa

    · Unraveling Me

    S1 E25 - Unraveling Lisa - Lisa took a DNA test out of curiosity: something light, something fun. But when her results came back, they didn’t just surprise her. They unraveled everything she thought she knew about who she was. In this conversation, Lisa shares how a single test led her to uncover donor conception, connect with a half-brother, and rethink the meaning of family, culture, and self. Raised in a fully Ashkenazi Jewish family, Lisa was confronted with results that made no sense—until they did. What followed was not just a search for answers, but a profound reckoning with identity, belonging, and truth. Through it all, she brings humor, honesty, and a deep sense of compassion for everyone involved, including her mother.


    SHOW NOTES

    Kara and Lisa discuss:

    Taking a DNA test “for fun” and discovering unexpected resultsGrowing up with a strong cultural identity—and having it suddenly questionedThe confusion of early DNA matches and making sense of new relationshipsNavigating donor conception and the reality of medical practices in earlier generationsThe emotional complexity of truth, love, and protecting family relationshipsTurning pain into storytelling through her feature comedy One Big Happy Family

    Lisa’s story holds both weight and lightness. It captures the disorientation of late discovery, but also the perspective that comes with time—how something once devastating can eventually be transformed into art. By turning her experience into One Big Happy Family, Lisa found a way to share her difficult truth with humor, heart, and humanity.


    Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.


    At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.


    For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S1E24 Unraveling Monica

    S1E24 Unraveling Monica

    · Unraveling Me

    S1 E24 Unraveling Monica B - In this powerful and deeply human conversation, Kara and Monica explore how meaning can emerge even from the most chaotic beginnings. Monica’s story begins with a series of events so unlikely they almost feel fictional—until they lead to a life-altering truth. After her father’s sudden death, Monica found herself entangled in an unbelievable web with the FBI, her family farm, and an international cartel. What followed was a cascade of events and a DNA test gifted before a trip to Scotland, a stroke with no clear family history, and a genetic diagnosis that didn’t match what she knew about her lineage. Piece by piece, her story unraveled. And eventually, the truth became undeniable.


    SHOW NOTES:

    Kara and Monica discuss:

    The chain of unexpected events that led to her discoveryA medical diagnosis that revealed a hidden genetic truthThe emotional complexity of loving both a raising father and a genetic oneThe role of timing, coincidence, and resilience in identity discoveryNavigating grief, gratitude, and belonging all at once

    Monica speaks with honesty, perspective, and remarkable grace. Even in the face of loss, shock, and disorientation, she chooses curiosity over bitterness—and connection over certainty. Her story is a reminder that life doesn’t always unfold in a straight line. Sometimes truth arrives through a series of unexpected turns—and when it does, it has the power to reshape not just where we come from, but how we move forward.


    Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.


    At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.


    For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S1E23 Unraveling Donna

    S1E23 Unraveling Donna

    · Unraveling Me

    S1 E23 - Unraveling Donna - In this powerful conversation, Kara and Donna explore what it means to survive a traumatic upbringing, uncover a hidden genetic story, and rebuild a life rooted in truth. Donna speaks with honesty, grit, and hard-won clarity. She does not soften the truth of what she lived through, but she also makes space for joy, connection, and healing. Her story is a reminder that truth can be painful—but it can also be liberating. And sometimes, finding out where you come from is part of finally understanding how you survived.


    (Content warning: This episode contains discussion of child abuse, sexual abuse, and suicide.)


    SHOW NOTES:

    Donna’s story is one of survival, truth, and the long shadow of childhood trauma. Raised in a deeply abusive and chaotic home, Donna grew up knowing something didn’t fit. That sense of being “different” stayed with her long before she had the language—or the evidence—to understand why. After finding the courage to leave home as a teenager, Donna began the long process of healing and rebuilding her life. But the question of where she came from never fully left her. When she eventually took a DNA test, the results didn’t just provide answers—they revealed an entirely new reality.


    Kara and Donna discuss:

    Growing up in an abusive home and finding a way out as a teenagerThe lasting impact of childhood trauma and the work of healingDiscovering she was donor-conceived after years of searching for answersThe shock of unexpected DNA results and finding a large network of siblingsNavigating connection, rejection, and the complexities of genetic familyWhy regulation and accountability in the fertility industry matter

    Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.


    At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.


    For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S1E22 Unraveling Randi, Kirk & Athena

    S1E22 Unraveling Randi, Kirk & Athena

    · Unraveling Me

    S1 E22 - Unraveling Kirk and Randi - In this episode, Randi and Kirk share their deeply human, nonlinear journey of welcoming Kirk’s newly discovered daughter, Athena, into their family. What began as a destabilizing revelation became an ongoing process of reckoning, repair, growth, and choice.


    At its heart, this episode is about commitment—the kind that says: we will face this together. We will make room. We will grow. Because sometimes family isn’t defined by how it begins, but by how people choose to show up when everything changes. This story is not tidy. It is layered, evolving, and real.


    SHOW NOTES

    When truth arrives unexpectedly, it rarely unfolds in a straight line. There were hard conversations. There were moments of grief and disorientation. There were questions about loyalty, identity, and what family really means. And alongside all of it, there was intention.


    Randi’s strength is not loud, but it is steady—marked by tenacity, empathy, and a willingness to sit inside discomfort without shutting down. Kirk’s willingness to grow in real time, to hold complexity, and to lead with love even when it would be easier to retreat is equally powerful.

    Together, they show what it looks like to stay engaged when life gets complicated.


    In this episode, Kara, Randi, and Kirk discuss:

    The emotional shock of unexpected parentageWhat it takes to expand a family after trust is shakenNavigating loyalty, grief, and new relationships simultaneouslyThe courage required to support one another through identity shiftsChoosing connection over defensiveness

    Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.


    At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.


    For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S1E21 Unraveling Diana

    S1E21 Unraveling Diana

    · Unraveling Me

    S1 E21 - Unraveling Diana - Diana speaks candidly about identity, secrecy, and the emotional toll of discovering that official records cannot always be trusted. Her journey spans continents, generations, and legal gray zones. And yet, through genealogy work, writing her book Connected: Finding My Truth, and helping others uncover hidden histories, Diana has transformed her pain into purpose.


    Diana grew up believing her origins were clear. Raised in a modern Orthodox Jewish home, she built her identity around faith, family, and tradition. Even when she didn’t quite look like her parents, there was always a photograph ready to explain it away. But a slip of the tongue from a family friend changed everything.


    SHOW NOTES

    What followed was not a simple adoption story. It was a layered, cross-border unraveling. In this powerful and complex conversation, Kara and Diana explore what it means to chase truth when the truth keeps shifting.

    Finding the truth in multiple different birth certificates, each with conflicting informationThe reality of baby brokers and the “baby scoop era”How coercion forced Diana to step back from her search and reunion for 15 yearsWrestling with faith, conversion, and maternal lineage within JudaismLiving with unanswered questions and choosing peace anyway

    Her story reminds us that truth is not always neat. It does not always come with paperwork. And sometimes the unraveling is lifelong. But seeking it anyway? That is courage.


    Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.


    At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.


    For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S1E20 Unraveling Angie

    S1E20 Unraveling Angie

    · Unraveling Me

    S1 E20 - Unraveling Angie - In this candid and emotionally layered conversation, Kara and Angie explore what it means to live between bravery and fear, loyalty and longing, compassion and grief. Angie was a seasoned mental health therapist, international wellness presenter, and expert in stress management when she did the very thing she tells her clients not to do—she ignored the truth. After taking a 23andMe test and discovering she was 49% Ashkenazi Jewish, something that made no sense given her family story, Angie quietly deleted the app and buried the results. For years, she chose hope over certainty (it felt safer that way). But during the pandemic, a call from her sister changed everything. DNA results confirmed what Angie had tried to dismiss: she was not fully genetically related to the family who raised her.


    SHOW NOTES

    In This Episode, Kara and Angie discuss:

    Suppressing shocking DNA results and why even therapists avoid their own painProtecting her mother’s legacy while naming the cost of secrecyThe complexity of loving a parent and feeling betrayed at the same timeSearching for her genetic father years after discoveryBeing rejected by DNA matches and finding the courage to keep goingThe various ways we can reach out to new family and when just showing up is an optionHolding fear and hope in the same breath

    Angie speaks with deep compassion for everyone involved: her mother, her sisters, even the family she has yet to meet. As a wellness professional, she understands that emotions aren’t binary. Two things can be true at once. Love and grief. Loyalty and betrayal. Fear and courage. Her story is about finally choosing truth over silence and deciding that uncertainty is still better than never knowing.


    Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.


    At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.


    For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S1E19 Unraveling Linda

    S1E19 Unraveling Linda

    · Unraveling Me

    S1 E 19 - Unraveling Linda Linda speaks candidly about fear, obligation, guilt, and the slow unraveling required to rebuild a life rooted in truth. Her story is about reclaiming agency after manipulation, breaking generational silence, and choosing to breathe again after everything falls apart. This episode is a testament to resilience, discernment, and the courage it takes to say: My story belongs to me.


    SHOW NOTES

    Linda always knew she was adopted. What she didn’t know was how deeply secrecy, emotional neglect, and unspoken shame would shape her identity—and how fiercely she would one day fight to reclaim it.


    At 24 years old, desperate to know her origins, Linda did something few would dare: she broke into the adoption agency to retrieve her own records. That night became a pivot point—a declaration that her story belonged to her. But accessing the truth was only the beginning.


    In this powerful and layered conversation, Kara and Linda explore the long arc of identity, trauma, manipulation, and healing. Kara and Linda discuss:

    Growing up in an alcoholic, authoritarian household where adoption was never openly acknowledgedBeing treated as a “blank slate” and expected to erase her historyThe danger of power imbalances in therapy—and surviving a deeply abusive therapeutic relationshipIsolation, grooming, and the long road back to autonomyRebuilding identity through sobriety, somatic healing, research, and educationWhy “good therapy” matters—and how to protect yourself when seeking helpThe ongoing process of integration and self-trust

    Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.


    At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.


    For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S1E18 Unraveling Andrea

    S1E18 Unraveling Andrea

    · Unraveling Me

    Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.


    At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.


    For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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