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Welcome to episode 16 of season 2 of the Woman Uncaged podcast! This week's episode was inspired by Linda's little "outburst" last week during a group gathering. At this point, some of us have simply had it and we are sick of having to be nice, caring, and compassionate about everything all the time!
We dive into:
- Why Linda and Laura were both proud of Linda for having the outburst in the first place!
- The gift and the peril of seeing underneath bad behavior
- How being nice is often baked into the job functions that women hold in society and the cost to their own wellbeing, as articulated by Arlie Russell Hochschild
- How people who take advantage will test you to see if you're willing to step up for yourself
- Laura's date where she was completely comfortable with her boundaries
- Our societal expectations that women are just going to "take it"
- The beneficial role of anger
- Laura's story of chasing a man down the street while barefoot!
- Linda's obsession with the goddess Artemis
- What happens when curiosity and compassion are not reciprocal in relationships
- A trend of women getting texts from men about wanting "post-election distraction"
Resources Mentioned:
- The Managed Heart: Commercialization of Human Feeling by Arlie Russell Hochschild
- Goddesses in Everywoman and Artemis: The Indomitable Spirit in Everwoman by Jean Shinoda Bolen, MD~Linda's website: https://singingbirdcoaching.com/ ~Laura's Monday Missives: https://goodwithmoney.substack.com/
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Welcome to episode 15, Season 2 of the Woman Uncaged Podcast.
We weren't sure we were up to recording an episode this week after the devastating news that we're facing another 4 years (more if he has his way) of Trump's attempt at tyranny. But we decided to go ahead and talk about how this is impacting us, and how angry we are at the idiotic misogynists who are gloating that "there will never be a woman president" and saying "your body, my choice."
Be warned, our language reflects our outrage. Listen with headphones if you have little ones around.
We mention this horrible, infuriating video: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DCDgEizuFmH/?igsh=Yjl1Mzllam04d2Jq
And this Jimmy Kimmel video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JxELubSgJg&t=26s (the monologue Laura referenced starts at 1 min. 39 secs)
Resources we talk about for good sources of information:
Heather Cox Richardson's fabulous, informative newsletter: https://heathercoxrichardson.substack.com/
Robert Reich's newsletter (he often puts out informative videos, as well: https://robertreich.substack.com/
Ultraviolet: https://weareultraviolet.org/
Please text us and let us know how you're doing, and if you have resources to share. We're in this together!~Linda's website: https://singingbirdcoaching.com/ ~Laura's Monday Missives: https://goodwithmoney.substack.com/
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Welcome to Episode 14 of the Woman Uncaged podcast! In this week's episode, we address the elephant in the room: the election happening in the U.S. on Tuesday. While we intended to focus on ways to care for ourselves and one another during challenging times, we also needed a space to rant and rave about how the cages appear to be strengthening and multiplying rather than dismantling.
We dive into...
- How many of us are struggling during this time and how the heck are we supposed to get through the next few days
- Why obsessively following the news isn't helping
- How we are seeing stress and anxiety with our clients
- How the United States can be an indicator of where tides are turning world wide
- Odessa, Texas' transgender bathroom bounty law
- Why this election is deeply personal
- The importance of figuring out ways to move forward and how that requires us to stay resourced
- How having a safe space to cry or rage is vital, as is claiming our joy
- The importance of sisterhood and relationship
- How misogyny is the undercurrent of many of our conversations on reproductive rights
- How the reality of abortion differs from the stories that are told
- Why the standard idea of caring for ourselves isn't enough; we need to care for and with one another
- The importance of getting in touch with your anger
Correction:
Linda misspoke. The party in Sweden she was referring to is actually called the Sweden Democrats.
Resources:
Erin in the Morning: https://www.erininthemorning.com/
ProPublica Article: https://www.propublica.org/article/josseli-barnica-death-miscarriage-texas-abortion-ban~Linda's website: https://singingbirdcoaching.com/ ~Laura's Monday Missives: https://goodwithmoney.substack.com/
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Welcome to the 13th episode of Season 2 of Woman Uncaged.
Today, we're talking about the struggle many of us (especially those of us with internet-based businesses or remote work) are having with balancing our online existence with our offline lives.
We dive into:
-how our lives moved online when the pandemic hit
-wondering whether being online so much truly serves us
-the balance of relationships online and offline
-not always choosing the convenient option
-asking what convenience costs us
-how knowing what we value helps us make our choices, which may not always be convenient
-how being in good girl patterns influences our ability to choose
-our opinions about how our online existence has influenced our abilities to be in deep relationship
-the freedoms online life affords us
-how to create bridges between the online and offline world
Life Reinvention Sessions with Linda and Laura:
If you'd like to nab one, visit:
https://lauragatesluptonmswcpc.as.me/lifereinvention (if there are no slots available, they've all been taken)~Linda's website: https://singingbirdcoaching.com/ ~Laura's Monday Missives: https://goodwithmoney.substack.com/
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Welcome to Episode 12, Season 2 of the Woman Uncaged podcast! Today we return to a favorite topic of ours: work and money-making and how they have taken on an outlandish importance in our modern lives.
In the episode, we dive into:
- An example of how regular work can support what matters in our lives without taking over our lives
- How things might look different if we treated money like firewood
- How the industrial revolution shifted how we approach work
- The way an 8-hour workday makes very little sense in most cases
- Making our jobs work for us rather than us simply working for them
- Examples of different ways of living and working that we don't typically hear about
- Resisting the pressure to make work the organizing principle of our lives
- Why Laura doesn't like money goals even though she's a money coach!
- Why both Laura and Linda fully support a liberal arts education
- How easy the cages are to jump into even when we don't consciously want to
- What we might get to reclaim as human beings, and what could we do with our time, if we were less consumed with work
- How difficult it is to know when we've done "enough" work, especially when we work for ourselves
- Building in and embracing seasonality in our production, work, and businesses
- Not only the external cages, but how we have internalized these societal voices
Resources:
Michael Neill
How to Be Idle: A Loafer's Manifesto by Tom Hodgkinson
Women Rowing North: Navigating Life's Currents and Flourishing as We Age by Mary Pipher
Redefining Rich: Achieving True Wealth with Small Business by Shannon Hayes
Life Reinvention Sessions:
If you'd like to nab one, visit:
https://lauragatesluptonmswcpc.as.me/lifereinvention~Linda's website: https://singingbirdcoaching.com/ ~Laura's Monday Missives: https://goodwithmoney.substack.com/
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Welcome to Woman Uncaged, Episode 11 of Season 2! Today we're talking about dreams, of the nocturnal variety.
We talk about cultivating a relationship with our dreams, our recurring dreams, and what our dreams mean in our waking lives.
Linda (aka the dream whisperer) shares how a dream and a Tarot card lead her to make a big life shift.
We share how our dreams shift over time, and why we find it important to write them down, while staying open to the magic and mystery they breathe into our lives as they help us to grow.
Linda describes how she proves to others in her dream that she is, in fact, dreaming.
This was a fun conversation. We hope you enjoy it, and we'd love to know: Do you dream regularly? Do you have a way of working with your dreams? Text us or email us and let us know your thoughts: [email protected].
If you'd like to hire Linda for a session to explore a dream, you can reach out to her at [email protected]. Tell her Laura sent you! ;-)
We have 1 session left! Book in today! We are offering THREE Life Reinvention Sessions! If you'd like to nab one, visit:
https://lauragatesluptonmswcpc.as.me/lifereinvention~Linda's website: https://singingbirdcoaching.com/ ~Laura's Monday Missives: https://goodwithmoney.substack.com/
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Welcome to episode 10, season 2 of the Woman Uncaged podcast! In this week's episode, Laura shares a major personal shift that she is undergoing. Seventeen weeks ago, Laura separated from her husband of 29 years and moved to a new city and state. This is a deep, honest, soulful, and beautiful conversation on reinvention and becoming more fully ourselves; you don't want to miss it.
We dive into...
- What it means to reinvent your life at midlife
- How Laura oriented after waking up to a totally new and different life
- What it's like to claim your life at midlife
- The importance of the transitional phase to hear your own voice
- One of the best decisions Laura made when landing in her new life
- The value of experimentation to find out what truly belongs to you
- The difference between UPHOLDING something and CLAIMING something
- The gift of Laura not having a car for the last many weeks
- What Laura would share with a woman on the cusp of a major life reinvention
- The choice between claiming one's own life or supporting someone else's and how freaking difficult that choice really is
- The ring ceremony that Laura and Linda did while Laura was visiting
We are offering THREE Life Reinvention Sessions! If you'd like to nab one, visit:
https://lauragatesluptonmswcpc.as.me/lifereinvention
And if you'd like to do a Dog Day Session with Linda, you can read more about it here: https://singingbirdcoaching.com/calling-all-dog-mamas/~Linda's website: https://singingbirdcoaching.com/ ~Laura's Monday Missives: https://goodwithmoney.substack.com/
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Welcome to episode 9, season 2 of the Woman Uncaged podcast! This week's episode was inspired by the book The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control by Katherine Morgan Schafler. This episode is especially for you uncaged women out there who have ever been called "perfectionists" (and not in a positive way) or who have struggled with letting go of this aspect of yourself. What if you didn't have to?
We dive into:
- What if perfectionism isn't an obstacle that we need to overcome?
- How men are rarely, if ever, called perfectionists in a derogatory way
- How perfectionism relates to exceptionalism and how our society tells women it's better to embrace being mediocre
- Maladaptive vs. adaptive perfectionism
- How perfectionism can be a strength, if we work with it
- What is needed for those who have experienced or seen their perfectionism as an obstacle to transform it into an ally?
- Setting intentions vs. goals and why we need both
- How society benefits from maintaining our focus on end goals and ignoring the pleasure of the process
- The 5 different types of perfectionism as identified by Ms. Schafler
- The importance of creating nourishing structures in our lives
- The problem of seeing maladaptive perfectionism as a immutable identity
- Why both Laura and I hate the idea of "how you do one thing is how you do everything"
- How Laura's new offering of Stop Hitting Snooze with Laura and Suze is perfect for perfectionists who struggle with starting or finishing new projects
Resources:
The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control by Katherine Morgan Schafler: https://www.amazon.com/Perfectionists-Guide-Losing-Control-Peace/dp/059332952X
Ira Glass: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91FQKciKfHI
Laura's New Offering:
Finisher: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1uF_cdWN_nrV2Crtk3ry6TOFaoyHQaeIXw6Etg0FWCoc/edit?usp=sharing~Linda's website: https://singingbirdcoaching.com/ ~Laura's Monday Missives: https://goodwithmoney.substack.com/
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Welcome to Episode 8 of Season 2 of the Woman Uncaged Podcast.
We talk about the lifestyle and aesthetic of #tradwife.
Why has it become so popular?
Why is this a choice that women are making?
What aspects are appealing?
What is the role of the patriarchy here?
We reference:
Trevor Noah's podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-trad-wife-paradox-with-anne-helen-petersen/id1710609544?i=1000666979786
Anne Helen Peterson's substack Culture Study: https://annehelen.substack.com/
The book: Myth of Normal by Gabor Mate.
How about you, dear listener? What do you think about #tradwife. Text us or email us and let us know your thoughts: [email protected].~Linda's website: https://singingbirdcoaching.com/ ~Laura's Monday Missives: https://goodwithmoney.substack.com/
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Welcome to Episode 7 of season 2 of the Woman Uncaged podcast! In this week's episode we have a very special guest joining us: The Nope Coach herself, Suzanne Culberg, speaking about how to create a truly uncaged business.
We dive into:
- When Suzanne felt like she lost the fun in her business and how she reclaimed it
- Why we leave the 9-5 only to work 24/7
- How getting busy with clients can lead us to us forgetting to market, creating seasons of feast or famine
- Going from a cog to CEO (Chief EVERYTHING Officer)
- Why it is imperative to know why you are going into business to begin with and remembering that throughout the journey
- How so much of coaching feels like it has become an MLM
- The nature of exchange and why we might want to question the modern dream of making boatloads of money by doing nothing
- Finding your own sustainable rhythm
- How work can easily start to fill all your hours as an entrepreneur and other traps we fall into
- The importance of finding right-fit clients and the perils of having an agenda for our clients
Books Mentioned:
Helen Luke, The Woman of Woman: Awakening the Perennial Feminine
Rob Bell, Where'd You Park Your Spaceship Series Book 2
Where to find out more about Suzanne:
Website: https://www.suzanneculberg.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@suzanneculberg~Linda's website: https://singingbirdcoaching.com/ ~Laura's Monday Missives: https://goodwithmoney.substack.com/
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Welcome to the Woman Uncaged Podcast Season 2, Episode 6!
Today we're talking about what makes for a well-lived life, which was inspired by the article "The Mondays We've Got Left" on We're all Getting Older, a substack Laura reads regularly, by Lou Blaser. You can read that article here: https://open.substack.com/pub/loublaser/p/how-many-mondays-left?r=blsi2&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web (Laura mistakenly referred to the source as "Oldster" which is another Substack she reads regularly.)
We refer to Jodi Wellman and her work. Her website is: https://fourthousandmondays.com/
We talk about:
-our own definitions of living wide and deep.
-Jodi's axes and where we fall
-what does it mean to be astonishingly alive and when have we felt that way?
-the role meaning making plays
-experiencing our lives fully
-the role of softness
-how we feel about the idea of counting our Mondays
-where does our feeling of vitality come from?
-the joy of recognizing glimmers
What are your thoughts? Are you meaningfully bored or astonishingly alive? Write to us, and tell us! We would love to hear. Text us at the link above, or email us here: [email protected].~Linda's website: https://singingbirdcoaching.com/ ~Laura's Monday Missives: https://goodwithmoney.substack.com/
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Welcome to episode 5, season 2 of the Woman Uncaged podcast! This week's episode was inspired by a song called Healing is Not My Purpose by Toni Jones (available via Spotify here: https://open.spotify.com/track/3YjTY55wEzj5PJXexonZPj?si=7b28501a392c49a3 )
"The healing should be in service to living." - Laura
In this episode, we explore:
- How our addiction to self-improvement leaves so much joy and life on the table
- Why so many of us get stuck in healing and how it is perpetuated in our culture
- How healing can be a distraction. What is it a distraction from, and in what way?
- Why it's not enough to talk about what we are shifting, we actually have to embody and experience it
- How small talk and inane conversation can be meaningful and connecting
- Letting go of needing everything to be a growth experience
- Why labels, personality tests, astrology etc. can be terribly constraining of our human experience
- The distraction of "why"
- Making friends with the continually unfolding journey and how this relates to healing and holding our potential lightly
The other song mentioned was Closer to Fine by Indigo Girls: https://open.spotify.com/track/7rKyITVLEwldhdXIy7P6Vw?si=67d976c78fec40fa~Linda's website: https://singingbirdcoaching.com/ ~Laura's Monday Missives: https://goodwithmoney.substack.com/
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Welcome to episode 4 of season 2!
The pressure to choose one area of focus, or one passion, can have a paralyzing effect, and therefore, become part of the patriarchal cage. In this episode we talk about what it means to be multipassionate, and why it's important to embrace your multipassionate self.
We explore:
-Why is purpose almost always tied up with what we do for work?
-Why is "what do you do?" the predominate question we ask others when we meet them? (and how do you answer that if you're multipassionate)
-Linda's experimentation with being an unapologetic Renaissance woman.
-What makes something a business vs. a non-business income stream.
-How our inner good girl interferes in our getting our need met in barter relationships.
-The gentle idea of titration vs. constantly throwing ourselves in the deep end.
The book Laura references is The 4 Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss.
Link to Monday Money Missive about asking for money that Linda references: https://goodwithmoney.substack.com/p/is-it-right-to-charge-someone-for.
What are your thoughts? Are you multi-passionate? How have you made it work for you? Write to us, and tell us! We would love to hear. Email us: [email protected].~Linda's website: https://singingbirdcoaching.com/ ~Laura's Monday Missives: https://goodwithmoney.substack.com/
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Welcome to Episode 3, Season 2 of the Woman Uncaged podcast! In this episode, Linda speaks with artist and coach Karen Light about Why Creativity Matters (beloved co-host Laura was on vacay while this episode was recorded!).
"Relaxation is the best friend of creativity." - Karen Light
Karen and Linda dive into:
- Creativity and how it often overlaps with being multi passionate
- How Karen defines creativity (hint: it includes, but goes beyond, art)
- Why Karen believes every creative act is a revolutionary act
- What do we receive as individuals and collectively from unleashing our creativity
- How we are enlarged through the PROCESS of creating
- The relationship between creativity and agency, and WHY creativity is crucial as we begin to move out of our Good Girl energy
- Why visuals can help us to dismantle our inner cages
- What if we came into the world naturally wanting to be creative and make art, but it is blocked over time
- Why creativity requires a sense of safety and how do we cultivate that for ourselves and others
- How creativity allows us to meet one another as human beings
- Why creativity isn't always "on" and how to recognize that and step back into a more creative space
Where to Find Karen:
Website: HowDoodle.com and make sure to sign up for the newsletter
LinkedIn : Karen Light
Resources Mentioned:David Whyte quote from Consolations: "What is worthy of a life's dedication does not want to be known by us in ways that diminish its actual sense of presence."
Karelian Lament Singing: https://www.yesmagazine.org/democracy/2017/05/16/how-an-ancient-singing-tradition-helps-people-cope-with-trauma-in-the-modern-world
~Linda's website: https://singingbirdcoaching.com/ ~Laura's Monday Missives: https://goodwithmoney.substack.com/
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Welcome to Episode 2, Season 2 of the Woman Uncaged Podcast! In today's episode we dive into the topic of relationships and are they as much work as we are led to believe?!
Topics and questions we discuss include...- What if relationships are not meant to be work, but rather the antidote to it?
- Laura's perspective as a former therapist (where many come to work on their relationships)
- Replacing "working" on our relationships with "cultivating" more joyous relationships, and how those two things feel different
- Tending our relationships and how life's seasons may shift what that looks like
- Finding rest in relationships that are working
- Why do women tend to speak about working on relationships more often than men?
- How do we grow nourishing relationships in our lives?
- Getting out of practice at this whole relationship thing during the pandemic!
- Relationships are inconvenient and perhaps they are supposed to be..
- Getting clear on what really matters to you and how that impacts your relationships
- A lack of community is not your fault, but it is your responsibility
Resources Mentioned:
Pulling the Thread with Elise Loehnen
Interview with Carol Gilligan: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2TNciETcalMFKKFETgRjKi?si=cccfb186dc844820
Interview with Niobe Way:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2SbfE8m0hJvMm4ODs9KYk0?si=a2e7731a799d4bd6Learn More About Blue Zones: https://www.bluezones.com/
Sign up for the Sistermind Roundtable here: https://sistermindroundtable.substack.com/. You won't be added to any business lists, and we keep our emails to a minimum.
~Linda's website: https://singingbirdcoaching.com/ ~Laura's Monday Missives: https://goodwithmoney.substack.com/
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in the midst of being bombarded by patriarchal messages like "women shouldn't be allowed to get an education until they've had two babies" and if you're a single woman, you have "no direct stake in the future" of the US, how do we cultivate and maintain our own unwavering self-belief and self-worth?
That's what we dive into in Season 2, Episode 1.
We talk about:
The two types of goals and how we can use one of them to cultivate and strengthen our self-belief.
How we can create conditions in which it's more likely that we're going to arrive at our outcome goals.
Why doing is an important component of mindset work.
How perfectionism gets in the way of creating, and can block us, and how important it is to allow your creations to suck (especially at the beginning).
Linda's recent experimentation with water color painting, and her revelation about enjoying the process.
Ira Glass's video "The Gap." (Google it- it's awesome!)
How identity and self-belief are intertwined.
Bringing relationships from Zoom into the real world, and the challenge of meeting people in real life.
How the unrelenting criticism of women makes all of this harder, and what we see as the antidote.
The Simone Biles documentary on Netflix, and how smiling and laughing impacts performance.
What are your thoughts? How do you nurture your self-belief? Write to us, and tell us! We would truly love to hear. Email us: [email protected].~Linda's website: https://singingbirdcoaching.com/ ~Laura's Monday Missives: https://goodwithmoney.substack.com/
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Welcome to the 23rd episode of Woman Uncaged with Linda Katz and Laura Gates-Lupton
For kids, fun is a priority and their main motivator. So where does that go? Why, as adults, does fun have be slotted into "left over" time? Where did the freedom, that our younger selves thought we'd have as adults, go?
What is worth doing just for you? With no need for a particular outcome?
How does striving for a specific end goal strip our lives of fun?
How do we create fun in our adult lives? What are the conditions that allow for fun and spontaneity?
How do we re-envision adulthood?
Linda mentions Bill Plotkin's book Wild Mind: A Field Guide to the Human Psyche.
While we take a break between this season and the next, we invite you to join us in being flowful! Let's all make more space for fun and please let us know what you did with that space. We would truly love to hear. Email us at [email protected].
Thanks for being with us for Season One. We'll be back in a few weeks with Season Two!~Linda's website: https://singingbirdcoaching.com/ ~Laura's Monday Missives: https://goodwithmoney.substack.com/
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Welcome to episode 22 of the Woman Uncaged Podcast!
We discuss:- Recent examples of the invisibility of women
- How women's invisibility impacts our physical wellness
- How patriarchy attempts to control women in myriad ways, including the how a bill was blocked that would protect access to contraception
- How certain people's opinions DO matter more depending on the issue
- Women and the medical system (the mystery of menopause, the success of female surgeons, and more!)
- The invisible and unconscious bias against women
- A hidden perk of being invisible to the patriarchal gaze
- The invitation to step into greater assertiveness as we age and why this can be so difficult
- How we are taught to be disempowered
- The stripping away of choice is a stripping away of power
Resources Mentioned:
Article by Lyz Lenz: https://lyz.substack.com/p/axis-of-snivel
And some actual info on the representation of women's issues in health research funding: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/underfunding-research-female-health-leaves-huge-money-mesk%C3%B3-md-phd/
As always, we'd love it if you would share your thoughts about this episode with us. You can email us at [email protected].
We love hearing from you!~Linda's website: https://singingbirdcoaching.com/ ~Laura's Monday Missives: https://goodwithmoney.substack.com/
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Welcome to episode 21 of the Woman Uncaged Podcast!
We discuss:- Linda shares how she has started bringing the energy of work into so many areas of her life (working on ourselves, our bodies, our pets, our kids, our relationships...so much work!)
- How a desired end state that we are trying to engineer our way towards can infuse life with that work energy
- How work can be addictive even when it leads to burnout and exhaustion
- Allowing play to spontaneously emerge from boredom
- How the drive to treat everything like work is both an inner cage and outer cage
- Wanting others to see us as hard workers
- Feeling like our time and money don't belong to us and how that restricts our sense of agency
- Our implicit expectations of life when we've been doing everything "right"
- Laura shares the Comfy Chair Exercise by Michael Neill and how she used it in her own life
- How the energy of work blocks not only play, but also intuition, connection, magic, and synchronicity
Resources Mentioned:
The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron
Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life by James Hollis
As always, we'd love it if you would share your thoughts about this episode with us. You can email us at [email protected].
We love hearing from you!~Linda's website: https://singingbirdcoaching.com/ ~Laura's Monday Missives: https://goodwithmoney.substack.com/
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Welcome to episode 20 of the Woman Uncaged Podcast!
We discuss:
-Is it a midlife crisis or a midlife questioning?
-How failing to listen to the deeper questions and the deeper yearnings, may move us into crisis mode or physical symptoms.
-How does the male version differ from the female version?
-What are the opportunities of this stage?
-And what are the questions?
-How stuff doesn't make up a life.
-The difference of grief as an emotion vs. grief as a story.
-Midlife as its own developmental phase.
-Looking for role models.
-The myth of fixed identity.
-How to ride the wave of change.
-Bringing some adventure into mature adulthood.
As always, we'd love it if you would share your thoughts about this episode with us. You can email us at [email protected].
We love hearing from you!
Linda's website: https://singingbirdcoaching.com/
Laura's Monday Money Missives: https://www.dearlaura.net/letters~Linda's website: https://singingbirdcoaching.com/ ~Laura's Monday Missives: https://goodwithmoney.substack.com/
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