Afleveringen
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After a breakup, the first voice that shows up isn't kind. It skips right past "they weren't right for you" and goes straight to "you weren't enough, and this is somehow all your fault." In this episode, we're looking at why that voice sounds so sure of itself, where it actually learned its lines, and what happens when you stop arguing with it and just let the grief be what it is.
Free resources + Attachment Style Quiz: youreclaimedproject.com
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In this episode, we talk about what actually helps when you’re trying to leave a trauma bond — and why leaving can feel so emotionally brutal, even when you know the relationship is hurting you.
We look at why trauma bonds can feel like withdrawal, how the cycle of harm and relief keeps you attached, why you may still miss the person who hurt you, and why rebuilding safety, self-respect, and a life outside the bond matters so much in recovery.
If you’ve ever known logically that a relationship was wrong for you, but still felt grief, panic, longing, guilt, or fear when trying to leave, this episode will help you understand what’s happening — and what actually begins to help.
Free Resources
Attachment Style Quiz
https://youreclaimedproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/
Calm Down Toolkit
https://youreclaimedproject.com/calm-down-toolkit/
About the show
You, Reclaimed is where we talk about how to take our lives back from the lasting effects of childhood trauma, anxiety, and emotional dysregulation—so we can finally live on our own terms.
Disclaimer
I’m not a therapist or medical professional. The information shared here is for educational purposes only and is based on personal experience and research. It’s not a substitute for therapy, medical advice, or professional treatment. If you’re in crisis or need immediate support, please contact a licensed mental health provider or emergency services in your area.
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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In this episode, we talk about limerence and what happens when potential becomes the whole relationship.
Sometimes in limerence, the strongest bond is not with the relationship you actually have. It is with the potential of what the relationship could become.
The potential of this person becoming clear. The potential of them becoming consistent, emotionally available, devoted, or finally ready to choose you. The potential of the connection turning into something real.
And because the connection lives mostly in what could be, potential itself can start to feel like the bond.
We look at how limerence can attach you to possibility more than reality, why not knowing someone well can leave so much room for projection, and why chemistry, eye contact, and a powerful sense of recognition are not the same as truly knowing a person.
We also talk about the blank canvas effect: how your mind fills in the missing parts with what you hope is true, and how the imagined version of someone can stay alive when reality has not had enough contact with it yet.
Because at some point, the question becomes: are you attached to the person as they are, or to the potential of who they might become?
Chapters
00:00 Potential Becomes the Bond
03:58 The Blank Canvas Effect
07:22 Being Projected Onto
10:58 When Potential Meets RealityFree Resources
Attachment Style Quiz
https://youreclaimedproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/Calm Down Toolkit
https://youreclaimedproject.com/calm-down-toolkit/Q&A Inbox
Submit a question for a future episode:
https://youreclaimedproject.com/ask/About the show
You, Reclaimed is where we talk about how to take our lives back from the lasting effects of childhood trauma, anxiety, and emotional dysregulation—so we can finally live on our own terms.Disclaimer
I’m not a therapist or medical professional. The information shared here is for educational purposes only and is based on personal experience and research. It’s not a substitute for therapy, medical advice, or professional treatment. If you’re in crisis or need immediate support, please contact a licensed mental health provider or emergency services in your area. -
In this episode, we talk about limerence and what happens when waiting becomes the whole relationship.
Sometimes in limerence, the connection is not really built through real intimacy, consistency, or time spent together. It starts living in the waiting itself.
Waiting for them to be clear, to reveal themselves. Waiting for them to choose you, explain themselves, become consistent, or turn your connection into something real.
And because something is happening emotionally inside of you all the time, it can feel like something is happening between you. But in real life, there may not be enough relationship there to hold all of that emotion.
We look at how the relationship can move into your imagination, why waiting can become the bond itself, how hope starts replacing intimacy, and how loyalty to the fantasy can become a way of avoiding your own life.
Because at some point, the question becomes: are you waiting for a relationship to begin, or has the waiting become the relationship?
Chapters
00:00 Limerence: when waiting becomes the relationship
02:06 The relationship moves into your imagination
04:01 Waiting becomes the bond itself
06:42 When hope replaces intimacy
08:13 When loyalty becomes avoidance
10:25 Are you waiting for something real?
Free Resources
Attachment Style Quiz
https://youreclaimedproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/
Calm Down Toolkit
https://youreclaimedproject.com/calm-down-toolkit/
Q&A Inbox
Submit a question for a future episode:
https://youreclaimedproject.com/ask/
About the show
You, Reclaimed is where we talk about how to take our lives back from the lasting effects of childhood trauma, anxiety, and emotional dysregulation—so we can finally live on our own terms.
Disclaimer
I’m not a therapist or medical professional. The information shared here is for educational purposes only and is based on personal experience and research. It’s not a substitute for therapy, medical advice, or professional treatment. If you’re in crisis or need immediate support, please contact a licensed mental health provider or emergency services in your area.
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In this episode, we talk about why some relationships feel so confusing — and why that confusion is not always just a normal part of love.
Some relationships are confusing because we’re human. We misunderstand each other, have awkward conversations, hit rough patches, and need time to learn how to love each other well.
But other relationships are confusing because the whole premise of the relationship doesn’t really make sense.
We look at the kinds of relationships that can look like love from the inside: the relationship that takes several pages to explain, the fantasy relationship that mostly lives in your head, the relationship where you keep defending someone’s bad behavior, the connection with chemistry but no real-life compatibility, and the relationship where effort has turned into never-ending work.
Because not everything that has love in it becomes a good, loving relationship. And good love, while never perfect, is usually simpler in its basic structure.
Chapters
00:00 Some Relationships Are Confusing for a Reason
02:30 The Relationship That Takes Pages to Explain
04:19 The Fantasy Balloon Relationship
06:37 When You Become Their Defense Attorney
08:52 Chemistry Without Real Compatibility
10:44 When Effort Becomes Never-Ending Work
14:10 Good Love Is Usually Simpler
Free Resources
Attachment Style Quiz https://youreclaimedproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/
Calm Down Toolkit https://youreclaimedproject.com/calm-down-toolkit/
About the show
You, Reclaimed is where we talk about how to take our lives back from the lasting effects of childhood trauma, anxiety, and emotional dysregulation—so we can finally live on our own terms.
Disclaimer
I’m not a therapist or medical professional. The information shared here is for educational purposes only and is based on personal experience and research. It’s not a substitute for therapy, medical advice, or professional treatment. If you’re in crisis or need immediate support, please contact a licensed mental health provider or emergency services in your area.
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In this episode, we talk about why you didn’t get this obsessed with just anyone. We look at why certain people trigger limerence while others don’t — nothing to do with destiny, but rather, because they activate something specific in you.
We explore how unconscious attraction works through projection, Jungian archetypes, and familiar emotional patterns from early relationships. If this person felt unusually magnetic, this episode will help you understand why they stood out, what they may have been reflecting back to you, and why limerence is often less about the person and more about the pattern they activated in you.
Chapters
00:00 Intro
01:38 Is it Them, or is it You?
02:03 Jungian Archetypes – The Anima and Animus
05:35 Familiar Dynamics – Dad, is that You?
Free Resources
Attachment Style Quiz https://youreclaimedproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/
Calm Down Toolkit https://youreclaimedproject.com/calm-down-toolkit/
About the show
You, Reclaimed is where we talk about how to take our lives back from the lasting effects of childhood trauma, anxiety, and emotional dysregulation—so we can finally live on our own terms.
Disclaimer
I’m not a therapist or medical professional. The information shared here is for educational purposes only and is based on personal experience and research. It’s not a substitute for therapy, medical advice, or professional treatment. If you’re in crisis or need immediate support, please contact a licensed mental health provider or emergency services in your area.
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In this episode, we talk about what actually breaks the limerence spell when you’re stuck obsessing over someone who gave you very little — or someone you wanted a real connection with, but never fully had. We look at why limerence doesn’t live in reality so much as in fantasy, uncertainty, and the stories your brain builds to fill in the blanks.
We also explore why time alone usually doesn’t break the obsession, why closure isn’t always the answer, and why the thing that starts to dissolve limerence is often much simpler and less complicated: the truth. If you’re still caught in the loop of hope, longing, and over-interpretation, this episode will help you start separating fantasy from facts so you can begin to let go.
Chapters00:00 Intro01:15 Limerence Lives in Fantasy, Not in Facts03:55 The Uncertainty06:55 So What Actually Breaks the Spell?10:20 Start Saying It Out Loud13:38 Real Love Can’t Grow in Mystery
Free ResourcesAttachment Style Quiz https://youreclaimedproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/
Calm Down Toolkit https://youreclaimedproject.com/calm-down-toolkit/
About the showYou, Reclaimed is where we talk about how to take our lives back from the lasting effects of childhood trauma, anxiety, and emotional dysregulation—so we can finally live on our own terms.
DisclaimerI’m not a therapist or medical professional. The information shared here is for educational purposes only and is based on personal experience and research. It’s not a substitute for therapy, medical advice, or professional treatment. If you’re in crisis or need immediate support, please contact a licensed mental health provider or emergency services in your area.
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In this episode, we talk about why the fantasy of being chosen can feel so powerful in limerence, especially when the other person is emotionally ambiguous or hasn’t fully chosen you. We look at how rejection, intermittent validation, ego, and hope can keep the attachment alive — and what begins to break the cycle.
If your limerence is unrequited, stuck in the “almost” stage, or built on mixed signals, this episode will help you understand what’s actually keeping you hooked — and how to start letting go.
Chapters
00:00 Intro
02:01 Why Being Chosen Feels So Powerful
03:36 Why Rejection Can Make It Worse
06:46 The Ego’s Role
10:38 The Hope Loop
12:54 How to Break It
Free Resources Attachment Style Quiz https://youreclaimedproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/
Calm Down Toolkit https://youreclaimedproject.com/calm-down-toolkit/
About the show
You, Reclaimed is where we talk about how to take our lives back from the lasting effects of childhood trauma, anxiety, and emotional dysregulation—so we can finally live on our own terms.
Disclaimer
I’m not a therapist or medical professional. The information shared here is for educational purposes only and is based on personal experience and research. It’s not a substitute for therapy, medical advice, or professional treatment. If you’re in crisis or need immediate support, please contact a licensed mental health provider or emergency services in your area.
