Afgespeeld
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Episode 2: Today's topic walks the line between the mental idea of leadership versus the physical execution of leadership. I’m tempted to talk about the physical side of this topic, but season one is about the mental side.
I want to break everything down into the four-quadrant model, so we can get clarity before we put everything together and use it. In this episode, I’ll be talking about how leadership is different from just getting along and how it impacts the way we show up with our horses.
Show Notes
[00:54] The four square model is a really simple tool for breaking down complex problems.
[01:29] In this season, I'm focusing on the rider's mind.
[01:31] This episode is about the idea of leadership and how it is different from simply just getting along and how this idea impacts the way that we show up with her horses.
[01:48] The interesting thing about this topic is how it walks the line between the mental idea of leadership and the physical idea of leadership.
[02:22] Horses are hardwired to look for a leader. If they don't find a leader, they are compelled to step into that role.
[03:13] Some horses are more mild-mannered and some are more strong-willed.
[03:44] Jane shares an email about how her horse won't go around the ring.
[04:27] Natural horsemanship came out with the idea that horses have emotions. If we recognize these emotions, we can use them to change the horse.
[05:10] Some people have used this idea as an excuse to just "get along".
[06:06] There's nothing wrong with wanting a relationship with your horse.
[06:38] You can have an element of leadership in your relationship with your horse while still knowing them as who they are.
[07:28] Leadership is about actually taking the responsibility inside that relationship. You are responsible for your horses safety and what happens with your horse.
[08:03] An email from Amy about her new horse.
[09:46] Grandma's rules. Between human relationships, there is a distinct difference between what different adults will allow. If children can determine this, so can horses.
[11:12] Guilt can affect riders and what they are willing to ask for.
[13:12] If a horse's state of mind is going to impact the training a lot, we have to admit that some horses are more strong-willed.
[13:54] What is your first gut reaction when I say you need to be a better leader? Do you show up feeling guilty when you ask your horse to do something.
[14:40] Are you trying too hard to be perfect and not giving the horse any responsibility?
[15:50] Your challenge for the week is to write down one place where you have really great leadership skills and one place where you need to improve.
Links and Resources:
Natural Horsemanship
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Episode 1: Welcome to season one of the Stacy Westfall podcast. I'm Stacy Westfall, and I'll be teaching you why horses do what they do and action steps for creating clear confident communication with your horses. In this first season, I'll be discussing issues that frequently affect the way that riders think.
I use a tool called the four square model. The purpose of this model is to simplify complex problems and break them down into smaller actionable pieces. The four quadrants include the rider's mind, the rider's body, the horses mind, and the horse's body. Season one will focus on the rider’s mind. Today’s episode is about fear. I talk about how it is different than danger and some of the ways that it affects riders.
Show Notes
[00:34] Season one will be about issues that frequently affect the way riders think.
[00:47] One of the tools that I use is the four square model to simplify complex problems by breaking them down into smaller actionable pieces.
[01:05] The model is created with four quadrants which include the rider's mind, the rider's body, the horses mind, and the horse's body.
[01:43] This first season of the podcast will be focusing on the rider’s mind. Today, I'll be discussing fear and how it is different than danger and some of the ways that it affects riders.
[02:30] Fear is something that you experience in your mind. Danger means that you are actually in physical danger.
[02:59] Melanie writes in about having a fear of riding.
[03:51] Think about having fear and anxiety about riding.
[04:21] Fear in people's minds is frequently because there isn't a guaranteed outcome.
[05:08] There's no guarantee that your riding experience will always remain the same.
[06:11] Letting fear hold us down guarantees we won't achieve what we want.
[06:14] An email example about another horse owner not riding because of fear.
[07:18] If you really want to do something, don't let the fear of not having a guaranteed experience stop you. Otherwise, you are guaranteeing pain.
[08:57] Even when you have fear, you will live through it and at least you know you tried.
[09:45] One of the greatest ways to learn is by making mistakes.
[10:51] Other people are also experiencing fear.
[11:07] We literally teach our horses to face their fears, because we want them to know that not all fear equals danger. The same thing is true for you.
[11:34] What is one step you can take to face your fear?
[11:54] Sharing your fear in a comment can be one small step towards facing it.
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Episode 4: In episode 3, I talked about the three stages that riders go through in their horsemanship journey. I also discussed a little bit about responsibility. In today's part 2, I'm diving a little deeper into how I think responsibility and accountability fit into the three stages.
Show Notes
[01:04] I send out a weekly email and get a lot of feedback. I received some helpful feedback when it comes to explaining responsibility.
[01:21] The dreaming phase is when people enter owning horses and they just expect it to work. I called this my Disney phase.
[01:40] The learning phase is nuts and bolts. It's how things work.
[01:57] The balance face is when you can hold on to both ideas the dreaming and the learning. And move back and forth between the two.
[02:07] There is some resistance to responsibility in people who are unaware that they are afraid to give up the dreaming phase.
[02:21] Feedback from people who are afraid of being mean to their horses.
[03:39] You can have both phases at the same time.
[04:45] In the dreaming phase, the responsibility is always with the horse. People think things are magically going to work.
[05:07] When we move into the learning phase, the responsibility shifts over completely to the rider. The rider feels like they are 100% responsible for whatever happens.
[05:30] In the dreaming phase the horses have no accountability. They have us hoping, but if it doesn't work it just doesn't work.
[05:46] In the learning phase, we are responsible, but we're not sure what that means as far as holding the horse accountable.
[06:41] Natural push back from a horse makes people reluctant to set a boundary. People worry if their horse will still like them.
[07:10] Think about whether it's possible even in human relationships to have great accountability breed more trust.
[07:33] I know of a high school teacher who sets very high standards for their students. This teacher ended up being the most respected person there.
[07:48] Somewhere in the mix of responsibility and accountability, we breed this storm of respect.
[08:00] When you are working with your horse you are each 100% responsible.
[08:25] You will have to work out the consequences inside your relationship.
[08:58] Stand outside the pasture and watch and see how your horse reacts and what emotions they are going through.
[09:23] Horses that challenge lines are telling you something about who they are when you go to work with them.
[09:32] Stop and think about how you are interpreting the things that I am saying when I talk about the dreaming stage, the learning stage, and the balancing stage or when I bring up words like responsibility and accountability and respect. How do these words fit in with what you are experiencing with your horse?
