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In this particularly raunchy episode, we discuss the sexual habits of “queers” as well as the rampant STDs sweeping the country and how to deal with them. We also cover roasting marshmallows (related to STDs), soakers, and of course, not making it to the bathroom on time. This is a really gross episode.
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Peter Gabriel sucks and of course, Ryan likes him because he has the worst musical taste in the entire state of NY. We gave some very helpful boxing tips and talked about the two times Gavin’s wife wanted to kill him.
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Robert Crumb is clearly one of the greatest artists of all time. The people coming after him and having him removed from museums are buzzkills who don’t get the joke. As usual, they are basing their witch hunt on someone else’s opinion of his work and not his body of work itself. This is always the case with these people. Anyway, we also talk about guns, mass shootings, and tricking kids into thinking Joe Dirt is the new Avengers movie.
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I start out talking about how productive you can be and if it’s predetermined. I also ask if taking drugs like Adderall can change that amount which gets me on a tangent about being introduced to the drug by Johnny Knoxville and what it was like hanging out with the Jackass dudes. It was fun because they’r’e fun. There’s a moral there and it’s simple: Don’t do drugs. OK maybe do some but know you’re just borrowing from tomorrow’s productivity.
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My life is far from perfect. I’ve made a lot of mistakes. This podcast is more a, “Do as I say not as I do” kind of thing. This extra-long ep tells you how to do everything right from birth, childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, marriage, parenthood, and retirement. Short version: try to make your life the 1980s.
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Wherein we discuss motorcycle problems and several near death experiences on the highway. We also tear through the news and confront the media’s blind spot when it comes to the war on Christianity. Turns out the victims in Sri Lanka were more than just “Easter worshippers.” Boxing and stealing stories also comes up and then we settle into the mail bag for a good bout of Ryan bashing.
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We start out this epsiode with a look at boxing and how getting over your fear of being punched comes in handy when riding a motorcycle. This brings us to discussions about combing garageland with your BS detector and how dishonest we all are when it comes to reading the news as a big pile of corny rumors. You don’t care about Lori Loughlin cheating to get her daughter into college. You just want the beautiful people to suffer. You don’t really think the Mueller report is a smoking gun. You just want Trump to lose. We also get deep into some cocaine stories that takes us from Costa Rica to a $30m yacht off the coast of Somalia. It’s a wild ride so take your helmet off and let’s go!
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When we were kids we played cops and robbers. More kids wanted to be cops than robbers but today, I doubt anyone wants to be a cop. Paperwork and constant scrutiny has ruined the profession. We send them into the shittiest part of the city and then get made when they don’t act like aristocrats. It’s made today’s cops suicidal but it’s also made sure tomorrow’s cops are just pussies and nerds. We also attack the mail bag.
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Though this episode appears to be a wandering mess, there is an important thread throughout which is: We need to be more responsible for ourselves and stop relying on others to solve our problems. Don’t call AAA. Don’t call the cops. Don’t wait for someone to come fix your flat tire. Bribe a tow truck to do it off the books. We also answer letters about child rape in the Catholic church, dads who go to Disneyland alone, bad marriages, and farting.
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We try to figure out why certain men believe airing out your feet after a shower will prevent toe fungus. It won’t. You’re being duped. Then we talk about the SPLC suit and how many ridiculous lies it includes such as Proud Boys yelling, “He was a f-ing foreigner!” Finally, we dive into the mail bag and use many of the letters as a spring board to bigger, deeper, more scarier conversations.
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Before tearing into the male bag, we discuss how gay I am for men (outside of the sexual connotations, obviously). Men are portrayed as sexist dirtbags who see women as human garbage but then you meet us and we’re basically sweeties. This leads to a discussion on boxing, the Proud Boys, hate crimes, gay bashing, apprenticeships, and of course making new guy friends.
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Today's episode is mostly covering the SPLC law suit. There's a few detours here and there-- but it's a pretty big thing. It'll get funnier soon, but for now your support would be greatly appreciated. Go to DefendGavin.com to donate whatever you can to help fund us take a stand against the SPLC.
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This one’s a mini podcast where we announce that we fixed the glitches in the previous podcast (the tits one). We can’t announce this on social media because I’ve been banned from every platform there is. This leaves us no choice but to make announcements here - as separate podcasts. Anyway, it’s fixed. I miss you. Bye.
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In this episode we question everything. Why tits? Why not? Was Gary Coleman killed by his ex-wife Shannon Price? Was Elliot Smith killed by his girlfriend Jennifer Chiba? After all the murder talk, we cleanse the palette with a foray into the UK show Undateables which features mentally handicapped singles trying to navigate the dating scene. We are particularly infatuated with Daniel and his hit album “The Songs of Gigs.” It’s Daniel Johnston meets Jonathan Richman meets that indie UK band "Art Brut".
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So, some shithole country calling itself Brunei has decided gays need to be stuffed in a hole and beaten with large rocks until they die but what is “gay”? This prompts a lot of name-dropping as well as a discussion about jail, the SPLC, Jussie Smollet, trauma strains, Tina Tchen, black comedy, Kim Foxx, Costa Rica, and Sarah Silverman’s racist past.
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1- BE CHEAP: Don’t go out with tons of people for a huge dinner. 2- TAKE ABUSE: You’re not going to make money for the first two years of doing a thing. Get over it. 3- BE FUNN: When courting a lady, focus on having a good time, not getting laid. 4- WEAR CLASSICS: If you’re not into fashion, stick to classics like Chuck Taylors. 5- DON’T FIGHT: If you need to get into a fight, keep it as short as possible. 6- DON’T EAT: Food is for pussies. 7- PARTY RIGHT: Follow the D.O.W.N.E.R. rules. 8- CLEAN YOUR ROOM: The road to improvement starts small. 9- QUIT PORN: Get off the couch. 10- FAMILY FIRST: Make good with your parents and siblings.
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In this in depth discussion on homosexuality we get deep inside what it’s like to be gay. It’s all conjecture but we determine that the worst part is 14-18 if you live in an anti-gay environment but after moving to the big city it must be awesome. Unfortunately, it can’t be too wonderful once you get super old and nobody wants you. That makes us feel bad.
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Ryan Katsu Rivera and I just got back from skiing with the family in Okemo. No. that’s not a hospital for Irish cancer patients. It’s a ski hill that’s one of the best family-friendly ski resorts in the North East. Why don’t we revere that more? Why don’t we think of the risks and hard work businessmen put in to a project when we go to a ski hill or a water park or even a building? I think our apathy towards entrepreneurs comes from a general malaise towards men’s accomplishments in general. In an effort to appease feminists we have castrated men and made them into pussies.
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In this extra special episode we go over ex NYT executive editor Jill Abramson’s terrible book, “Merchants of Truth: The Business of News and the Fight for Facts.” I only read the parts that were about Vice when I was there and I counted TWENTY, yes TWENTY major factual errors. Since completing the book, Abramson has gone on to do lots of press for it that includes defending the multiple examples of plagiarism and telling many more lies like the allegation Proud Boys are “white nationalist” and I was recently arrested for brawling alongside them.
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