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So, some shithole country calling itself Brunei has decided gays need to be stuffed in a hole and beaten with large rocks until they die but what is “gay”? This prompts a lot of name-dropping as well as a discussion about jail, the SPLC, Jussie Smollet, trauma strains, Tina Tchen, black comedy, Kim Foxx, Costa Rica, and Sarah Silverman’s racist past.
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Before getting to our turgid mail bag (which is positively bursting at the seams) I want to take a moment to look closely at the imminent demise of the SPLC. My complaint is the reason that organization is falling apart. After going through it, they entire staff realized they were being led by the blind and promptly began firing everyone or forcing them to leave. Founder Morris Dees is out. President Richard Cohen is out. Head of legal Rhonda Brownstein is out. Uh, you’re welcome.
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1- BE CHEAP: Don’t go out with tons of people for a huge dinner. 2- TAKE ABUSE: You’re not going to make money for the first two years of doing a thing. Get over it. 3- BE FUNN: When courting a lady, focus on having a good time, not getting laid. 4- WEAR CLASSICS: If you’re not into fashion, stick to classics like Chuck Taylors. 5- DON’T FIGHT: If you need to get into a fight, keep it as short as possible. 6- DON’T EAT: Food is for pussies. 7- PARTY RIGHT: Follow the D.O.W.N.E.R. rules. 8- CLEAN YOUR ROOM: The road to improvement starts small. 9- QUIT PORN: Get off the couch. 10- FAMILY FIRST: Make good with your parents and siblings.
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In this extra special episode we go over ex NYT executive editor Jill Abramson’s terrible book, “Merchants of Truth: The Business of News and the Fight for Facts.” I only read the parts that were about Vice when I was there and I counted TWENTY, yes TWENTY major factual errors. Since completing the book, Abramson has gone on to do lots of press for it that includes defending the multiple examples of plagiarism and telling many more lies like the allegation Proud Boys are “white nationalist” and I was recently arrested for brawling alongside them.
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The Netflix series “After Life” is incredibly well written but I don’t think Gervais realizes how sad he makes childlessness and atheism look. Like Ricky, the protagonist has bucked tradition until nothing’s left but your wife and that means, once she’s gone, there’s nothing left. Kids, please learn from the lessons Ricky accidentally taught us: get married, make babies, and believe in God.
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After a lot of heavy politics, we decided to make this episode super funny and comedy oriented. The problem is, simply focussing on funny topics does not a funny podcast make. This ep is less amusing than any of the political ones which may be proof I’m just losing my sense of humor. This episode could be the first of a sad decline in my career as a professional amuser.
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After discussing how lame your ideas are when you’re asleep, we get into a hodge podge of topics including all these miserable comedians who tell us how to live our lives. Dude, you just had a nervous breakdown and your buddy tried to kill himself. Stop telling us how to live our lives. We also look at the death of comedy in general, Justin Trudeau’s prostitution scandal, Alex Jones on Joe Rogan, and a bunch of letters we’ve gotten recently in a new segment called “Scrotum” (mail bag).
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This one’s all about my vacation where I hung out with some of the fattest people in the entire world. Yikes! America we have a serious obesity epidemic and it appears to be getting worse. Why are you on a Rascal at Disney World? Because walking makes you tired? Yeah, that’s the point. Walking isn’t your enemy, the Rascal is.
Anyway, I took the family to Mets Spring Training in Port St. Lucie as well as Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, Universal Studios, Volcano Bay, and Island of Adventure in Orlando. It was pretty fun but I think being a New Yorker may have ruined my personality forever. -
Told ya so. Have we reached peak Clown World yet? We have rich black people who grew up white such as Cory Booker and Kamala Harris using a hate crime hoax to push through an anti-lynching bill. Is anyone pro-lynching? Isn’t it already illegal? At this point, we’ve gone so far, you just have to sit back and laugh.
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Today's podcast mostly revolves around how shitty stylists and wardrobe people in movies ruin everything. It ruined a great AC/DC song. It could've ruined Jaws. We move onto a Vice video of black conservatives and liberals talking to each other. The word retard is bad, right? Why can't people be ideologically opposed and still get along? PLEASE ANSWER THIS QUICK SURVEY!
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Today's episode is mostly covering the SPLC law suit. There's a few detours here and there-- but it's a pretty big thing. It'll get funnier soon, but for now your support would be greatly appreciated. Go to DefendGavin.com to donate whatever you can to help fund us take a stand against the SPLC.
PLEASE ANSWER THIS QUICK SURVEY!https://survey.libsyn.com/getoffmylawnpod
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The story of Jussie Smollett being gay-bashed by two racists in MAGA hats AND ski masks (how exactly does that work?) is one of the fishiest stories of the year. Was he being stalked and they finally decided to make their move? Why did they ask if he was that “f-—t Empire n——r”? Why do racists care so much about a show they’ve never seen? I’m not saying he’s lying but if this turns out to be a hoax, remember we were among the first to be dubious. However, if it’s true, Gavin commits to a humiliating ritual as an apology for showing skepticism. See inside for more.
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Today we get into the overkill FBI raid of Roger's home, the suspiciously convenient timing of CNN's reporter who staked out Roger's home due to his "instinct" and an hour later got the footage. SNL had Steve Martin portraying Roger, and it stunk. We also talk stories for kids, pirates, Anthony Cumia becoming one of NYC's "crazy people" and more.
PLEASE ANSWER THIS QUICK SURVEY!https://survey.libsyn.com/getoffmylawnpod
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Ann Coulter says that the only thing all these radical leftists groups have in common is their hatred for white men. I think it’s more specific than that. The far left rolls their eyes at old, white men and don’t really see them as a threat but they have a burning, irrational hatred for a very specific type of young man. They hate healthy, white, Christian, handsome, fit, upper middle class, college-aged men who are likely to be successful and end up happily married. On this podcast we call this archetype “Brad” and try to figure out why everyone hates him so much. Why did everyone run with this Catholic High School story about disrupting an indigenous ceremony? Why were the death threats so vitriolic? What’s with all the hate?
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