Afleveringen
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Dr. Margaret will focus today on questions and answers that listeners have sent her by either voicemail or email.
First topic for today: Is anorexia back "in" as beautiful?
Second: Why could you be allowing your mom (with borderline traits) to occupy such emotional space in your life?
And third: If I'm openly sad when my son is getting ready to leave home, am I unintentionally setting him up to feel guilty?
I so appreciate it when either listeners to the podcast or readers on my website comment to me, leave me a Speakpipe voicemail, or send in an email!
So thank you to any and all of you who've sent in questions and comments. Keep them coming!
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Discover how to interpret the Enneagram in this episode of SelfWork! It's a personality test that's been around for decades. How is it different from other personality scales and what has made it so popular for so many years?
Our expert speaker is Courtney Smith, who's a coach, group facilitator, and consultant who works with individuals and Fortune 500 companies to achieve change. She is a renowned practitioner of the Enneagram personality system, which she teaches alongside other personal development tools. She is the coauthor with Elise Loehnen of Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness. Courtney's newsletter is What We're Really Up To.
Order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.
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Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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In this SelfWork episode, Dr. Margaret interviews an expert on medical and mental trauma of chronic illness - Amy Kurtz.
194 million Americans–more than 76 percent of the population–are living with chronic illness. Many eventually stabilize, but what happens when the body heals and you still don’t feel safe inside it?
Patient advocate and health coach Amy Kurtz knows this gap in our healthcare system firsthand. Having gone to 36 doctors, she was already exhausted from that decades-long effort. Finally hearing the diagnosis of late-stage neurological Lyme disease with co-infections, and getting the right treatment, her labs may have improved.
But as her body began to stabilize, the fear didn’t fade. She lived in constant anticipation that her health would collapse again at any moment. It was her husband who finally named what she couldn’t: the illness may have receded, but the trauma hadn’t.
What emerged from that conversation is her book that came out this week - BUT YOU LOOK FINE (Balance, June 9), an earnest guide to get through the dark tunnel of what she calls Medical Trauma Brain: the lingering imprint of illness that doesn’t disappear just because the diagnosis improves.
Order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.
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Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!
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This week we’re sharing a special episode from our friends at How To!, the 2026 Ambie Award-nominated “Best Personal Growth Podcast” that’s back with a new host and new topics to fuel your curiosity.
Each week on How To!, award-winning journalist Mike Pesca tackles a listener’s question – on topics ranging from travel and finance to health and relationships – with help from world-class experts who actually know what they're talking about. Think of it as eavesdropping on someone else's therapy session, without the co-pay or awkward silence.
And today, we’re sharing their recent episode “How To Take Psychedelics for Your Mental Health” where Mike interviews psychiatrist Dr. Will Van der Veer, a psychedelic researcher, and Myq Kaplan who has taken psychedelics for his mental health and other reasons. I love this episode because you get to hear a bunch of personal experiences of medical psychedelics and learn more about this emerging treatment for mental health conditions.
And for more interviews like this, make sure to follow How To! on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. And tell them we sent you.
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Dr. Margaret focuses today on the vital importance of what’s termed “cultural humility” as she responds to a listener voicemail, pointing out that as she’s a white person, her advice comes from a place of privilege in the US.
Do you have to have walked in someone else’s shoes, carried the same load as they have, lived a life very similar to theirs – to truly understand them? Or to offer something helpful to them?
I received a very open and honest voicemail this week that addresses this question. What follows is also a discussion of the difference between cultural competence and cultural humility.
Order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.
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Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!
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It’s a little hard to describe Paul Gilmartin.
He's worked as a stand-up comic. He makes furniture. And he's a maternal abuse survivor.
To add to that, he was one of the first hosts of the TBS show Dinner and A Movie. In fact, he hosted that show for years – and people still recognize him when he’s out and about!
But his life has moved in many directions.
Since 2011 however, he’s been the host of the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast – where he interviews all kinds of people – occasionally a mental health professional. And he encourages folks on the podcast to be as honest as they’re ready to be – about things that many have a struggle with revealing.
I was honored to be on his podcast a few months ago. Paul’s demeanor is such that you find yourself talking to him like no one’s listening… which of course they will eventually be doing just that. He creates a safe space to do that within – and I found it quite a forgiving and emotionally supportive space. Something that makes his podcast unique is that he encourages his listeners to fill out anonymous surveys so he knows what exactly they’re going through – and no holes are barred as far as subject matter. And that’s where his conversations go – into territory that holds shame or fear for many.
You can perhaps tell I’m a huge advocate for his work.
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Emotional martyrdom. What is it? And where does it come from? That's today's SelfWork episode.
Recently, I got a comment on the questionnaire blogpost on perfectly hidden depression - from a woman whose every word convinced me that there are too many people in the world who believe it's their job to keep everyone around them happy.
So today we're going to look at what's termed emotional martyrdom. This could be you or someone you're in a relationship with. It can sound like, "It's my job to keep everyone happy, whether or not I am happy myself." Or, "Don't worry about me, I'm fine." Or, "I'm not hungry. Y'all go on and eat what's there and I'll see what's left."
Emotional martyrdom can be insidious, as it often masquerades as altruism but leads to neglecting one's own needs and happiness.
The listener email involves a woman who was overly enmeshed with her own mom. She felt guilt for leaving in seeing other members of the family becoming enmeshed. But she also realized she might be repeating the same pattern, and asks the question, "Should she overcompensate or work on things slowly?"
ORDER The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.
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Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!
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Today we're focusing on the psychological side of plastic surgery. This interview with renowned plastic surgeon Dr. Rady Rahban answers all your questions about the psychological side of choosing both reconstructive and plastic surgery. Understanding the motivations and emotional impacts of such decisions is crucial for anyone considering these procedures. The intersection of psychology and plastic surgery reveals much about our societal standards of beauty and self-acceptance.
Order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.
Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.
Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!
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Today we’ll focus on what it means to be a licensed mental health professional. How are coaches and influencers different from licensed mental health professionals? And how has the rise of therapists themselves online affected the social media culture, while unlicensed influencers are offering mental health advice?
We'll focus on five major concerns of the online presence (and often persistence) of online 'therapists', be they the licensed kind, coaches, or unlicensed influencers, including the impact of licensed mental health professionals.
Our listener voicemail is from a listener who herself has been diagnosed with BPD – and how she’s struggling with her adult child not being in her life.
Order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.
Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.
Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!
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(Note: We are focusing on sexual assault in this episode of SelfWork. If you have a history of sexual assault, please listen with care.)
Today we're going to introduce you to the concept of restorative justice. Our guest today is Marlee Liss. You may not have heard of her, unless you closely follow what's happening in the justice system concerning sexual assault.
But her voice is a strong one. As difficult and life-changing as her rape was for her, she describes the process of restorative justice as being equally healing and satisfying.
Order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.
Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.
Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!
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Grit. What is it? How do you develop it? And how is it important for battling mental illness? And what role does it play in both outer success and inner victory?
These are the questions we're going to answer today on SelfWork.
Here's leading author Angela Duckworth 's definition of grit, described in her Ted talk.
"Grit is passion and perseverance for very long-term goals. Grit is having stamina. Grit is sticking with your future, day in, day out, not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years, and working really hard to make that future a reality. Grit is living life like it's a marathon, not a sprint."
Order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.
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Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!
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In this episode, Dr. Margaret talks with Dr. Tara Cousineau about perfectionism and "befriending your inner critic."
My guest today, Dr. Tara Cousineau, is an expert on perfectionism's treatment. She's a clinical psychologist, as well as a yogi and mom. And she's a staff psychologist at Harvard's Counseling and Mental Health Services. There are certainly a lot of perfectionists there. She's written a book, which I read cover to cover -The Perfectionist’s Dilemma: Learn the Art of Self-Compassion and Become a Happy Achiever. And it's wonderful.
Order my new The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.
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Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!
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Today we're focusing on finding emotional stability and calm through self-love. Not narcissism – not grandiosity or some kind of over-the-top shouting to the world how great you are. But what exactly self-love is and what it can lead to is our focus. That's self-agency - the ability to act and to feel empowered to do so.
Even though we live in a world that repeatedly suggests you can’t be happy or feel valuable if you don’t have a partner, or followers, or live in a certain neighborhood or wear certain clothes or be thin – or countless other things that we’re supposed to chase to prove our worth – if you love yourself – that’s internal. That’s not dependent on anyone or anything but you.
Order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.
Publishes April 1st!
Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.
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In this episode, Dr. Margaret gives her best advice about enmeshment, Anne Burrell’s suicide, and perfectly hidden depression to those that have reached out to her in the past few months.
This episode is kind of a grab bag; one comment from a woman who loved Anne Burrell (as a response to a piece I wrote about her), another from a young man in an arranged marriage whose mother is harsh and who he feels very controlled by.
Then I’m also bringing in some comments from the TEDx on perfectly hidden depression – they’re so relatable and hit to the core of the message.
And... my new workbook was published on April 1st and is now available to you! If your drive is driving you, if you have to keep people from sensing that you may struggle, if you're someone who keeps tight emotional control always... this workbook may be for you!
By the way...Send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
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Friendships are vital for your sense of well-being.
When you know that you have people that you can count on to be there for you when you need them, who you feel solidly connected to. that knowledge can offer a kind of grounding that's unshakeable.
Dr. Margaret invites Marisa Franco to SelfWork to discuss how she discovered this for herself, how friendships have provided her with steady caring and acceptance, and how she uses the science of attachment to help you understand how to create and keep friendships in your life.
Pre-order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.
Publishes April 1st! Pre-orders matter!
Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.
Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!
Our Sponsors:
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Choosing a career is one thing. However, knowing if it's the right choice for you or if you need to consider other alternatives? That can be more difficult.
In this enlightening episode, Dr. Margaret speaks with Ashley Stahl, the author of the best-selling book, You Turn: Get Unstuck, Discover Your Direction, Design Your Dream Career . They delve deep into the complexities of career choices and the transformative journey of discovering your true calling - one that more exactly fits with your core values. Throughout this conversation, listeners will gain invaluable insights on how to navigate these choices effectively and achieve outcomes that bring joy and fulfillment.
Pre-order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.
Publishes April 1st! Pre-orders matter!
Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.
Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!
Our Sponsors:
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Note: In this episode, Dr. Margaret talks with Penny Gray, who lost her husband to suicide. Please read/listen carefully. Here are international numbers of suicide hotlines.
Suicide is hard for all, and horrific for others. Why? Because someone they loved died by suicide, and they were absolutely shocked.
Not that suicide isn't always extremely hard on those that loved the person who took their own life. But when you suspect nothing... the emotions that come are hard to understand and accept.
Whether you're a parent, a wife, a friend, a partner - the question of why they couldn't tell you what they were going through can haunt you.
Maybe the concept of perfectly hidden depression can help.
Pre-order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.
Publishes April 1st! Pre-orders matter!
Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.
Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!
Our Sponsors:
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Bipolar disorder can be very difficult to diagnose. But that pales in comparison to what it can be like to live with and manage.
This week, Dr. Margaret Rutherford is republishing her interview with Terri Cheney who writes about her own battle with bipolar disorder. Sometimes she's won that battle. But not every time. And she talks about mixed episodes, which are harder to understand and certainly harder to live through.
Pre-order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.
Publishes April 1st! Pre-orders matter!
Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.
Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!
Our Sponsors:
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Autism is a diagnosis that's feared by parents whose beloved child's development seems off.
Dr. Theresa Lyons, a scientist and autism parent and expert, has lived this life. She and Dr. Margaret discuss what it was like, how she coped, and the professional and personal advice she has to offer.
Dr. Lyons own words on discovering the autism diagnosis..."I knew something was wrong with my daughter. I just had this intuition. This knowing. That things just weren’t going right. My daughter was developing but there was just something not right. I had a nagging feeling and everyone kept telling me to ignore it and that everything’s fine but I ignored myself and that’s what I get really mad about."
Pre-order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.
Publishes April 1st! Pre-orders matter!
Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.
Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!
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Self-blame - when it happens way too much - can be paralyzing.
Five paralyzing consequences of self-blame... You were blamed as a child so it's become part of your own punishing self-critic which can lead to self-sabotage.You were manipulated or are being abused and you take the blame to "keep the peace" and become submissive.You take the blame for something that's happened to you in order to irrationally regain some sense of control.You're perfectionistic and are constantly looking for even the smallest of mistakes that your inner critic pounces on to shame and blame you.You need affirmation so you take blame that doesn't belong to you as a way of getting that kind of attention.Advertisers Links:Click HERE for the NEXT GEN offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your new subscription
Pre-order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.
Publishes April 1st! Pre-orders matter!
Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.
Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!
Our Sponsors:
* Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands - Laat meer zien
