Afleveringen

  • How to Calm Down When You're Emotionally Overwhelmed

    How to Calm Down When You're Emotionally Overwhelmed

    · How To Love Yourself No Matter What

    Emotional overwhelm can feel like a full-body shutdown - racing thoughts, physical tension, and an overwhelming urge to escape. When these intense feelings take over, it's not because we're broken or dramatic. Our nervous system is simply doing its job, without proper context for the modern world.

    As a coach, I see clients trapped in stress responses they can't seem to escape from. Whether it manifests as panic attacks, procrastination, or people-pleasing, these automatic reactions stem from our nervous system's attempt to keep us safe. Through my own experience with emotional overwhelm and working with countless clients, I've discovered that the key isn't trying to think our way out - it's learning to regulate our nervous system.

    In this episode, I share three accessible ways to calm your nervous system using your senses, movement, and nature. These tools aren't about perfection - they're about building emotional safety one small step at a time.

    Get full show notes, transcript and more information here: amandahess.ca/264

    Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

    Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

    Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

  • Why Feeling “Too Much and Not Enough” Is Actually Your Superpower

    Why Feeling “Too Much and Not Enough” Is Actually Your Superpower

    · How To Love Yourself No Matter What

    One extremely common experience among sensitive women is the exhausting push-pull of feeling simultaneously being "too much" and "not enough." Through my own journey and experiences coaching others, I've witnessed how this internal conflict affects our relationships, self-worth, and ability to show up authentically.

    In this episode, I share my perspective on why intensity and emotional depth shouldn't be viewed as flaws that need fixing, but rather as unique gifts that make us who we are. This mindset shift is crucial for those of us who've spent years trying to dial down our natural enthusiasm or mask our true selves to fit others' expectations.

    Find the full show notes, resources, transcript, and more information from this episode here: https://amandahess.ca/263

    Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

    Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

    Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

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  • Introducing: How to Love Yourself No Matter What

    Introducing: How to Love Yourself No Matter What

    · How To Love Yourself No Matter What

    Are you an emotionally intense woman who’s ever felt like you’re just too much—or maybe not enough? On this podcast, I help you break free from shame, overwhelm, and the pressure to fit into someone else’s boxes.

    I’m Amanda Hess, trauma-informed life coach, and each week we dive into building self-trust, setting authentic boundaries, and embracing who you truly are beyond labels. It’s time to create emotional safety and reclaim your identity—without trying to fix yourself.

    Follow now, and learn how to start loving yourself, no matter what!

    Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

    Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

    Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

  • Why Being Easygoing Doesn't Make You a Better Person

    Why Being Easygoing Doesn't Make You a Better Person

    · How To Love Yourself No Matter What

    "I feel guilty after speaking up for myself." "They probably think I'm a b*tch." "I should have said that nicer."

    Do these thoughts sound familiar to you? The guilt you feel after stating what you want isn't random or your fault - it's systematic conditioning.

    In this episode, I'm breaking down why we feel this pressure to be "easygoing," where the guilt comes from when we advocate for ourselves, and how to build emotional resilience. I'll show you why feeling bad about having needs doesn't mean you're doing something wrong - it means you're unlearning something harmful. The path to genuine happiness isn't through being more accommodating; it's through authentic self-expression and the willingness to take up space.

    Find the full show notes and transcript for this episode here: amandahess.ca/262

    Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

    Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

    Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

  • Saying No Without Guilt: Unlearning the Good Girl Narrative

    Saying No Without Guilt: Unlearning the Good Girl Narrative

    · How To Love Yourself No Matter What

    Are you constantly smiling and nodding when you really want to scream "No!"? I've been there, too. That feeling of saying yes when your body and mind are begging you to decline is a symptom of something deeper – the good girl narrative that's been ingrained in us since childhood.

    The cost of living as a good girl is enormous. We chase external validation, overfunction in every area of life, and end up burnt out, resentful, and disconnected from our authentic selves. But there is a way out, and in this week's episode, I share it with you. Tune in to learn how you can break free from this exhausting pattern and reclaim your joy, peace, and fulfillment.

    You can find the transcript, full show notes, and more information here: amandahess.ca/saying-no-without-guilt/

    Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

    Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

    Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

  • How to Stop Feeling Responsible for Everyone: A Guide for the Exhausted ‘Strong One

    How to Stop Feeling Responsible for Everyone: A Guide for the Exhausted ‘Strong One

    · How To Love Yourself No Matter What

    Welcome to the How to Love Yourself No Matter What podcast with Amanda Hess. In this episode, Amanda dives deep into a topic so many of us struggle with: feeling responsible for everyone around us. If you’re the person everyone relies on, the peacekeeper holding it all together, or someone who’s secretly exhausted but scared to stop, this episode is for you.

    Drawing from her personal experiences and work as a certified life coach, Amanda unpacks why so many women feel trapped by the belief that they must be the strong one, and how this thinking leads to burnout, resentment, and the loss of self. She explores both societal and personal conditioning that teaches women to prioritize everyone else’s needs above their own and gets candid about the physical, emotional, and mental toll this takes.

    But Amanda doesn’t stop there—she offers practical strategies for breaking this cycle, including the power of tiny acts of self-care, regulating your nervous system, emotional processing, and the radical act of putting yourself at the top of your own list. If you’re ready to set healthier boundaries, stop overfunctioning, and reclaim your sense of self, tune in and join Amanda as she shares the tools and mindset shifts you need to let go of what was never yours to carry.

    Let’s get started on the path to freedom, fulfillment, and self-love—one small shift at a time.

    Timestamps:

    00:00 "The Burden of Being Strong"

    03:48 "Conditioned to Prioritize Others' Needs"

    07:04 Balancing Parenthood, Career, and Life

    12:13 The Anxiety of Unwarranted Responsibility

    15:34 Fear of Setting Boundaries

    19:21 Begin Processing Personal Emotions

    24:09 "Prioritize Personal Boundaries, Self-Care"

    25:08 "Embrace Change for Personal Fulfillment"

    30:03 "Free Week: Let Go & Transform"

    Get 1 week absolutely FREE in the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership. Go HERE: joinamanda.ca

    Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

    Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

    Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

  • Understanding and Healing From Rejection Sensitivity

    Understanding and Healing From Rejection Sensitivity

    · How To Love Yourself No Matter What

    If you’ve ever felt like you just can’t handle rejection, this episode is for you. Amanda Hess dives deep into rejection sensitivity—what it is, where it comes from, and how it affects the way we think and feel, especially for those who are neurodivergent or have experienced trauma.

    Key Takeaways:

    What is rejection sensitivity?
    Amanda discusses how rejection sensitivity is the tendency to feel real or perceived rejection more intensely than others, leading to heightened emotions, misreading social cues, and sometimes overreacting to neutral interactions.

    Why are some people more sensitive?
    Neurodivergence, trauma, and constant invalidation can train us to expect rejection, often resulting in masking behaviors and self-doubt.

    How does it show up?
    Rejection sensitivity can ebb and flow depending on emotional capacity—think stress levels, sleep, confidence, and life events. When we’re vulnerable, small rejections can feel overwhelming and lead to negative thought spirals.

    Recognizing emotional bias:
    Amanda explains the difference between “clean pain” (the immediate feeling) and “dirty pain” (the stories we tell ourselves about what rejection means), and how the latter keeps us stuck.

    Regulating your response:
    Instead of trying to avoid or tolerate rejection, Amanda encourages listeners to grow their capacity for it. This means grounding yourself, breathing, and reminding yourself that rejection is just a feeling, not a confirmation of unworthiness.

    A personal example:
    Amanda shares a story about navigating tense conversations in her son’s basketball team group chat and how perspective can change emotional reactions.

    Practical advice:
    If rejection sensitivity is getting in your way, try to pause, notice your thought patterns, and ask yourself what else could be true. Focus on expanding your tolerance rather than avoiding difficult feelings.

    Join the conversation:
    Amanda offers support through her coaching membership, with live coaching calls, daily written coaching, and a private podcast. If you need more personalized help, you can book a free consultation.

    Connect:

    Join the membership: joinamanda.ca

    Book a free call: amandahess.ca/bookacall

    If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review—it helps the podcast grow and reach more women like you!

    Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

    Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

    Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

  • Chasing Calm? Start with Emotional Safety Instead

    Chasing Calm? Start with Emotional Safety Instead

    · How To Love Yourself No Matter What

    We say we want peace, but what we really need is emotional safety—the ability to be with ourselves, feel any emotion, and know we can handle it.

    This 18-minute episode dives into a truth that’s often overlooked in the self-help world. Peace isn’t about having a quiet life—it’s about having a strong inner world.

    🧠 Timestamps & Key Takeaways:

    00:00 – 01:45
    📍 Why “peace” isn’t what you think it is
    Amanda shares how this episode—originally recorded for private clients—turns into a universal message. The most common client request? “I just want peace.” But what does that really mean?

    01:46 – 04:40
    📍 Peace vs. Emotional Safety
    Peace is a feeling, not a destination. It’s unique to everyone and often fleeting. Amanda explains how emotional safety—knowing you can handle any emotion—is what actually creates sustainable peace.

    04:41 – 07:30
    📍 What you're really asking for when you say “peace”
    You’re probably trying to escape the overthinking, the mental tug-of-war. Amanda reframes this as a call for quieting the mind through emotional safety—not resisting your emotions, but allowing them.

    07:31 – 10:30
    📍 How to recognize and work with difficult emotions like loneliness
    Using vivid metaphors (like the fluttering bird in your chest), Amanda explains how to stop resisting emotions like loneliness and instead become curious about what they’re telling you.

    10:31 – 13:00
    📍 Creating emotional safety starts with nervous system regulation
    Peace isn’t found in a bubble bath—it’s in a plan. Amanda gets real about regulating your nervous system throughoutyour day, not just when it’s convenient.

    13:01 – 15:00
    📍 Allowing emotions in your body—not thinking your way out
    Self-help often tries to logic away emotions. Amanda explains why feeling them in your body is more powerful, and shares what anxiety feels like for her—plus how she softens it.

    15:01 – 16:30
    📍 Rewriting the story in your mind
    You don’t have to stay stuck in “I can’t” or “I’m too busy.” Amanda shows how to start shifting your inner dialogue to one that supports your growth.

    16:31 – 18:00
    📍 Nobody’s coming to save you—and that’s good news
    You are your own hero. Amanda wraps up with a powerful message about self-responsibility, self-trust, and building the life you actually want.

    👋 Ready to take this work deeper?
    đŸ”č Try my membership FREE for a week: joinamanda.ca
    đŸ”č Book a free discovery call: amandahess.ca

    And if this episode spoke to you, leave a review. It helps this podcast grow—and it helps more women hear the message they’ve been waiting for.

    Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

    Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

    Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

  • Burnout, Rewritten: What’s Really Draining You—and a Kinder Way Back

    Burnout, Rewritten: What’s Really Draining You—and a Kinder Way Back

    · How To Love Yourself No Matter What

    Burnout isn’t just being tired or overwhelmed—it’s what happens when your nervous system is totally tapped out. This episode is a wake-up call and a reframe. I break down what burnout really is, what it’s not, and how to start healing without adding more pressure to your already packed plate.

    [00:00–01:25]
    📍 Let's reframe burnout
    I kick things off by calling out the biggest misunderstanding about burnout: we think it’s situational, but the truth is deeper. Burnout is when your nervous system says, “I’m done.” It's not weakness—it's a stress overload.

    [01:26–03:20]
    đŸ”„ Burnout vs. "nervous breakdown"
    I talk about how burnout used to be labeled a nervous breakdown, and why that language matters. It’s about capacity, not capability. Burnout is your body's way of saying something's not working.

    [03:21–05:10]
    đŸš« People-pleasing & the cost of “playing nice”
    If you’re saying yes when you want to say no, avoiding boundaries, and putting everyone else first, this is your burnout blueprint. I walk through how saying “yes” at the expense of yourself leads to emotional depletion.

    [05:11–07:45]
    đŸŒȘ The real burnout trigger: a fried nervous system
    What looks like anxiety, panic, and sleeplessness often comes down to nervous system dysregulation. I compare it to skipping flossing—eventually the buildup causes pain. We need daily emotional hygiene.

    [07:46–09:35]
    💡 How to start regulating your nervous system
    This isn’t about meditating more or walking it off. I explain how real nervous system regulation is consistent, intentional, and doable. I share the first tool you can try today: my 5-minute reset (and how to get it).

    [09:36–11:20]
    ⚖ Capacity & emotion: how to hold more
    Think about how you feel after vacation vs. after a sleepless night. Emotional capacity changes, and we can build it intentionally. This section is about how we make allowing emotion easier.

    [11:21–13:00]
    🧠 Thoughts, beliefs & the mental load
    Burnout isn’t just emotional—there’s a mental component too. I talk about how the belief that you’re responsible for everything and everyone fuels burnout and why it’s time to challenge that.

    [13:01–15:00]
    💬 Where to start & how I can help
    I wrap with two options for going deeper: book a discovery call with me at amandahess.ca or join my Love Yourself No Matter What membership for free at joinamanda.ca. Plus, how to reach me for the free 5-minute reset.

    Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

    Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

    Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

  • Put Yourself First—Guilt-Free (Conversation with LT Dixon)

    Put Yourself First—Guilt-Free (Conversation with LT Dixon)

    · How To Love Yourself No Matter What

    This episode is more than a conversation—it’s a reclamation.

    LT Dixon joins me to share a deeply personal, powerful journey of healing, self-discovery, and radical self-love. From surviving abuse to raising five kids as a single mom, LT didn't just rebuild her life—she reinvented her identity.

    Together, we explore what it actually means to put yourself first without guilt, why so many women feel resistance to loving themselves, and how to start operating from a completely new paradigm—where self-love isn’t optional, it’s foundational.

    You’ll walk away with tangible wisdom, loving truth bombs, and a fresh perspective on what it means to be love, lead with love, and build a life from the inside out.

    Whether you’re at the start of your healing journey or deep in the process of remembering who you are—you’ll find resonance here.

    ⏱ Episode Timestamps:

    0:00 – Welcome + introducing my first guest in this self-love series
    2:15 – LT’s story: healing from abuse and rediscovering herself
    6:45 – “It started with a cup of coffee”: the smallest act of self-love that changed everything
    10:30 – The moment she said, “This can’t be my life”—and why that question matters
    14:55 – How to ask, ‘Where am I?’ and why this is the most powerful place to begin
    19:30 – Redefining love on your own terms: acceptance, appreciation, no judgment
    24:10 – LT’s “me, we, them” framework and how it transformed her family
    29:50 – What to do when you feel resistance to loving yourself
    33:40 – Setting boundaries without guilt—and how it’s a form of love
    37:20 – Why healing isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being honest
    41:10 – Final takeaways + where to find LT online

    🔗 Connect with LT Dixon:

    đŸ“± TikTok: @getyourshifttogether
    SM: IG: L.T. Dixon

    Connect with Amanda:
    Get a FREE week inside the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership:
    https://amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself
    TT/IG/FB @theamandahess

    Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

    Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

    Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

  • Feeling Invisible? Healing the Hurt of Not Being Heard

    Feeling Invisible? Healing the Hurt of Not Being Heard

    · How To Love Yourself No Matter What

    Ever feel like nobody truly sees you or hears you—like you’re speaking, but it’s not landing? In this episode, I’m sharing a personal story that cracked this experience wide open for me. If you’re neurodivergent, highly sensitive, or just someone who’s been labeled as “too much,” this is going to resonate deeply. We’ll explore what it actually means to feel unseen and unheard, why this is such a common experience (especially for women like us), and how to begin rewriting that story from the inside out.

    🧠 Here’s what we cover:

    [00:00] – Welcome & why this topic matters
    [01:30] – A real-life moment with my husband that brought up deep feelings of being unheard
    [04:15] – How I reacted (and what I used to do before I had the tools I do now)
    [07:00] – The shame spiral that used to follow, and why I don’t go there anymore
    [09:20] – Why neurodivergent women are often misunderstood and mislabeled
    [11:40] – A poolside story with my dad’s wife that triggered old beliefs and shame
    [14:30] – How hiding parts of ourselves contributes to feeling invisible
    [16:50] – Why you have to see yourself before anyone else can
    [18:40] – What it means to be your own ride or die
    [20:00] – How to build connection, support, and belonging—on your terms
    [22:10] – The two ways to work with me if you’re ready to finally feel seen and heard

    đŸ’„ Ready to feel truly seen and heard in your life?

    → Book a 1:1 consult with me here: https://amandahess.ca
    → Join my membership and start your FREE week here: https://joinamanda.ca

    You deserve to take up space. Let’s do this together. 💛

    Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

    Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

    Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

  • When Hope Feels Scary: Gentle Steps to Trusting It Again

    When Hope Feels Scary: Gentle Steps to Trusting It Again

    · How To Love Yourself No Matter What
    Episode Summary:

    Do you ever find yourself holding back from feeling hope—because deep down, you're afraid of being disappointed, let down, or even embarrassed? You're not alone. In this episode, we explore how learning to build emotional capacity for hope is essential to living a life that feels meaningful, connected, and aligned with who you really are.

    You'll learn why hope isn't just a feel-good emotion—it’s a vital ingredient for mental and emotional wellbeing. If you're sensitive, neurodivergent, or simply someone who’s been hurt before, hope can feel risky. But avoiding it? That leads to a life that gets smaller and less satisfying over time. This episode will show you a new way.

    We’ll walk through a clear 3-step process for expanding your emotional capacity so that you can open yourself back up to dreaming, desiring, and pursuing the things that actually matter to you. You’ll leave with practical tools, journaling prompts, and a challenge to help you reconnect with possibility—on your own terms.

    ⏱ Timestamps & What You’ll Learn:

    [0:00 - 3:00] – Why This Matters More Than Ever
    A powerful reminder of what’s possible when you allow yourself to feel hope—and what’s at stake when you don’t.

    [3:01 - 6:50] – Why Hope Feels Unsafe for So Many Women
    Understand the hidden ways you’ve been taught to shut down your dreams and why hope can feel like a risk rather than a resource.

    [6:51 - 10:00] – The “Realism” Trap & How It Shrinks Your Life
    Explore how being “realistic” often becomes code for “settling”—and how to know if you’ve fallen into that trap.

    [10:01 - 14:15] – What Happens When You Avoid Hope
    Discover the quiet cost of choosing safety over possibility and how it shows up in your relationships, career, and self-worth.

    [14:16 - 18:30] – The Behaviors That Numb Hope—and Why They Don’t Work
    From resentment to numbing to self-sabotage, we unpack the habits that develop when you shut out hope—and how to shift them.

    [18:31 - 22:00] – What Emotional Capacity Really Is (And Why You Need It)
    Learn what it means to actually build your emotional capacity—not just tolerate more stress—and how this changes everything.

    [22:01 - 27:00] – The 3-Step Framework for Building Capacity for Hope

    Regulate your nervous system

    Allow emotions (instead of avoiding them)

    Shift your thought patterns with powerful questions
    You'll get concrete tools and journaling prompts to start implementing today.

    [27:01 - 29:00] – How Avoiding Pain Also Blocks Joy
    Understand how protecting yourself from difficult emotions is also limiting your ability to feel joy, connection, and satisfaction.

    [29:01 - End] – Your Next Step: Practice Hope, On Purpose
    Take on a simple challenge to practice hopeful thinking in the next 24 hours—and learn how you can get deeper support, totally free, through the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership. Head to joinamanda.ca to try it out with no strings attached.

    Let me know if you’d like this turned into a blog post, an email, or a caption too—I’ve got you.

    Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

    Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

    Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

  • Making Peace with the Past Version of You

    Making Peace with the Past Version of You

    · How To Love Yourself No Matter What

    In this episode, I thoughtfully explore the importance of making peace with our past selves as a key element of self-love and personal growth. Through my own personal experiences and insights, I share how embracing compassion toward past versions of ourselves, rather than judging or rejecting them, allows for genuine healing and deeper self-understanding. Recognizing our past selves as doing their best with the knowledge and resources they had at the time helps free us from lingering regret or shame. Ultimately, cultivating this understanding creates a more authentic, peaceful, and fulfilling life.

    Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

    Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

    Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

  • Self Love Isn’t a Vacation Destination

    Self Love Isn’t a Vacation Destination

    · How To Love Yourself No Matter What

    Even in paradise, self-judgment can follow us. In this short and honest episode, I share insights I’m having while in Hawaii—about why being somewhere beautiful doesn’t automatically make self love easier, and how we often carry our inner critic with us no matter where we go. I talk about what real self love looks like, how to practice it in everyday moments, and why your circumstances are never the key to your happiness.

    🕒 Episode Breakdown:

    [00:00] – Welcome from Hawaii + the surprising truth about not always feeling good in beautiful places[01:30] – Why paradise doesn’t fix self-judgment or negative self-talk[02:20] – Self love is a choice you make in the moment—not something that comes from the outside[03:40] – Real examples from my own life: body image, nervous system, and family tension[05:10] – The myth that self-criticism creates accountability or growth[06:15] – What practicing real-time self love actually looks like[07:20] – Emotions don’t last forever: how to ride the wave instead of resisting it[08:00] – Why your brain comes with you—whether it's to Hawaii, weight loss, or success[08:40] – An invitation to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership

    ✹ If this episode resonated with you, click HERE to learn more about my brand new membership, or come chat with me on Instagram or TikTok @theamandahess.

    Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

    Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

    Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

  • Meeting Your Emotional Needs as a Sensitive or Neurodivergent Woman

    Meeting Your Emotional Needs as a Sensitive or Neurodivergent Woman

    · How To Love Yourself No Matter What

    In this episode, I dive into the challenges of meeting your emotional needs as a sensitive or neurodivergent woman. If you’ve ever felt unseen, misunderstood, or emotionally drained from constantly giving without receiving, this conversation is for you. I share my own journey with masking, people-pleasing, and emotional exhaustion—and why so many of us struggle to get our needs met. You’ll learn how to recognize, advocate for, and meet your own emotional needs in a way that fosters emotional empowerment rather than resentment. This episode is about stepping into self-acceptance, setting boundaries, and creating the emotional safety you deserve.

    If you're ready for deeper support, join my Love Yourself No Matter What membership for weekly coaching, a private daily podcast, and community support at Amanda-Hess.myKajabi.com/loveyourself . And if you need personalized coaching, book a free consult at amandahess.ca/bookacall.

    Detailed Episode Breakdown:

    [0:00 - 2:30] Introduction & Why This Matters

    Why so many sensitive and neurodivergent women struggle to have their emotional needs met.If you feel like you’re constantly giving without receiving, you are not alone.

    [2:30 - 7:45] Why Emotional Needs Often Go Unmet

    The impact of masking and people-pleasing.How ignoring your needs leads to exhaustion, resentment, and disconnection.My personal experiences with discovering my own emotional needs and the consequences of suppressing them.

    [7:45 - 12:30] The Root Causes of Emotional Struggles

    Masking & People-Pleasing: Why saying yes when you mean no makes it harder for people to meet your needs.Emotional Intensity & Deep Processing: The stress response cycle (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) and how it impacts emotional regulation.Sensory Overload: How our modern world bombards us with too much information, leading to burnout.

    [12:30 - 16:45] Identifying Your Core Emotional Needs

    The difference between emotional wants and emotional needs (and why understanding this is so important).The four core emotional needs:Feeling seen and understood (not just tolerated).Deep and meaningful connections.Emotional safety and acceptance.Balancing predictability with freedom and spontaneity.Reflection prompts to help you identify where your emotional needs are not being met.

    [16:45 - 22:00] How to Start Meeting Your Own Emotional Needs

    The first step: Grounding yourself and regulating your nervous system.Sensory-friendly self-care strategies to help you reset and feel safe in your body.How I plan to create emotional safety for myself while on my upcoming family trip to Hawaii.

    [22:00 - 27:15] The Importance of Finding the Right Community

    If you feel misunderstood, it may be time to expand your social circle rather than expecting others to change.How to find like-minded people online and in-person.Why deep conversations are essential for emotional fulfillment.

    [27:15 - 31:00] Asking for Help & Setting Boundaries Without Guilt

    Overcoming the fear of being a burden.How to approach conversations about your needs without resentment.Scripts for clearly communicating your needs in a way that invites support rather than resistance.

    [31:00 - 34:00] How to Set Healthy Boundaries & Accept Support

    Boundaries aren’t about controlling others—they’re about protecting yourself.Learning to accept support from the right people instead of assuming no one wants to help.How to tolerate the discomfort of disappointing others when necessary.

    [34:00 - 36:00] Final Thoughts & Next Steps

    Journaling prompt: What emotional needs have I been neglecting, and what’s one small way I can meet them this week?CTA #1: Join the Love Yourself No Matter What membership for weekly coaching, daily written coaching, and access to my private podcast at Amanda-Hess.myKajabi.com/loveyourself CTA #2: If you need personalized support, book a free consult at amandahess.ca/bookacall so we can create a plan to help you feel more emotionally fulfilled.

    Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

    Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

    Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

  • 250. Stop Running Your Life Like It's Fast Food

    250. Stop Running Your Life Like It's Fast Food

    · How To Love Yourself No Matter What

    We live in a world that constantly prioritizes convenience—fast food, quick fixes, and instant results. But what happens when we take that same approach to our own lives? In this episode, I dive into how we’ve been conditioned to prioritize efficiency over true self-investment and why that’s holding us back from real growth, joy, and fulfillment. If you’ve ever struggled with feeling like an “inconvenience” or putting yourself last, this episode is for you.

    Episode Breakdown:

    🕒 [0:00 - 2:30] | The Lightbulb Moment

    How this topic came to me while driving home from spin class.The realization: We’ve been trained to think of ourselves as “convenient” or “inconvenient.”The connection between convenience culture and how we treat ourselves.

    🕒 [2:30 - 6:00] | The Fast Food Analogy 🍔

    Why we can’t build a strong, fulfilling life using a “fast food” approach.The difference between cheap, quick fixes vs. meaningful, long-term investments.The impact of always choosing the easiest, lowest-cost option—whether with time, money, or energy.

    🕒 [6:00 - 9:30] | The Convenience of Input vs. The Inconvenience of Output

    We often choose what’s easy and efficient (the “fast food” input).But that leads to long-term dissatisfaction, burnout, and lack of fulfillment.The cycle of cutting corners and why it never leads to real happiness.

    🕒 [9:30 - 12:00] | Time Audit: How Much Are You Really Investing in Yourself?

    A quick self-check: How much time do you spend purely on YOU (not for work, family, or others)?Why most women answer less than an hour per week—or even zero.The hidden consequences of constantly deprioritizing yourself.

    🕒 [12:00 - 15:30] | Money Audit: Are You Always Looking for the Cheapest Option?

    A second self-check: How much money have you spent only on yourself in the past year?Why we spend so much on family, homes, and responsibilities but almost nothing on ourselves.The real cost of only buying things for ourselves if they’re on sale.

    🕒 [15:30 - 18:00] | The House vs. Fast Food Comparison 🏡

    When you buy a house, do you pick the absolute cheapest one with poor materials and bad insulation? No!Yet, we do this with ourselves—choosing “cheap” solutions instead of quality investments.What would happen if you built yourself the way you build a home—thoughtfully, intentionally, with care?

    🕒 [18:00 - 20:30] | The Power of Real Self-Investment

    How investing in yourself expands your capacity—to handle stress, relationships, work, and life.Why the belief that “investing in myself takes away from others” is a LIE.How my personal coaching and self-development investments have made me better in all areas of life.

    🕒 [20:30 - 23:00] | Stop Looking for the Quickest Fix

    The obsession with shortcuts and why they often lead to more frustration.The importance of consistency over speed.Why the “slow, nourishing” approach is the one that actually works.

    🕒 [23:00 - 25:00] | Final Thoughts + Action Steps

    How to start making better investments in yourself—with time and money.The first step: Start with nervous system regulation (grab my free 5-minute reset at joinamanda.ca).A reminder: You deserve more than the clearance section of life.

    🎧 Ready to stop treating yourself like fast food? Listen now!

    ✹ P.S. Don’t forget to subscribe & leave a review!

    Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

    Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

    Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

  • 249. Soft Strength (Let's Talk About Being A Karen)

    249. Soft Strength (Let's Talk About Being A Karen)

    · How To Love Yourself No Matter What

    In this episode, I explore the concept of soft strength—a way to hold boundaries, advocate for yourself, and navigate difficult situations without aggression or emotional dysregulation. Too often, women are labeled as “too much” when they stand up for themselves or “people pleasers” when they don’t. But there’s a middle ground: a way to be strong without force, and firm without anger. I share personal experiences, client insights, and practical strategies to help you step into your power while staying true to yourself.

    Timestamps & Key Takeaways:

    [00:00 - 02:00] Introduction

    How the idea of soft strength came up in my coaching and content creation processStrength doesn’t always have to be aggressive—there are different ways to embody it

    [02:01 - 05:30] The Stigma Around Women’s Strength

    The world often labels strong women as “Karens” or “bitches,” making it harder to advocate for ourselvesThere is nothing wrong with being assertive, but there’s also power in a softer approachThe balance between pushing through and holding space for yourself

    [05:31 - 09:45] Advocating for Yourself Without Emotional Dysregulation

    Strength is not about demanding or yelling—it’s about clarity and self-trustHow to hold firm boundaries without feeling the need to justify or explain yourselfThe power of approaching boundaries from a place of calm, rather than anger

    [09:46 - 14:30] Boundaries in Difficult Relationships

    How boundaries often come up in co-parenting, breakups, and family dynamicsThe difference between setting a boundary from a place of anger vs. a place of self-respectWhy boundaries aren’t about controlling the other person, but about how you will respond

    [14:31 - 17:50] Giving People Back Their Own Feelings

    The tendency to take responsibility for other people’s emotionsWhy we try to “fix” people’s feelings and how it disconnects us instead of bringing us closerHow to shift from emotional responsibility hoarding to true, open support

    [17:51 - 21:30] The Power of Soft Strength in Real-Life Situations

    Personal story: Navigating my mother’s illness and seeing how people tried to “fix” the griefThe difference between holding space for someone versus trying to change their experienceThe kind of support that truly makes a difference in hard times

    [21:31 - 23:00] Final Thoughts & Next Steps

    Soft strength is about showing up as the version of yourself that you want to beHow to journal on where you can embrace soft strength in your lifeInvitation to book a free consult for 1:1 coaching: amandahess.ca/bookacall

    Love this episode? Don’t forget to leave a review! Your support helps more women find this podcast and step into their own power. 💜

    Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

    Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

    Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

  • 248. Walking Each other Home: Dismantling The Good Girl Narrative With Feminist Life Coach Maggie Reyes

    248. Walking Each other Home: Dismantling The Good Girl Narrative With Feminist Life Coach Maggie Reyes

    · How To Love Yourself No Matter What

    In this episode, I sit down with my first-ever life coach, Maggie Reyes, a feminist marriage coach and the author of The Questions for Couples Journal. We dive deep into the social conditioning that shapes women’s lives—how we are raised to be “good” by constantly serving others, often at the expense of our own desires and well-being.

    Maggie shares her insights on navigating the discomfort of wanting more for yourself, creating safety in self-discovery, and finding balance in relationships without losing yourself. We also explore how small shifts in perspective can lead to big changes in how you experience your life.

    If you've ever felt stuck in over-functioning, struggling to put yourself on your own priority list, this conversation is for you.

    Connect with Maggie:

    đŸ”č Listen to The Marriage Life Coach Podcast

    đŸ”č Visit MaggieReyes.com

    Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review! Your support helps more people find these transformative conversations.

    [00:00 - 02:30] | Introduction

    Welcome to the podcast!Introduction of special guest Maggie Reyes, a feminist marriage coach and author of The Questions for Couples Journal.Amanda shares that Maggie was her first life coach and how her marketing spoke directly to her experience as a Type A woman married to a Type B man.Maggie expresses her excitement to be on the show.[02:31 - 07:45] | The Journey of Coaching & Walking Each Other HomeMaggie and Amanda reminisce about their coaching journey together.Discussion of the Ram Dass quote: “We’re all walking each other home.”How coaching is about support rather than hierarchy.The power of having someone truly on your side.[07:46 - 13:30] | The Role of Safety in Coaching & FeminismThe importance of safety in transformation.How therapy provides safety (Stephen Porges’ quote: “Safety is the treatment”), and how in coaching, presence is the most powerful tool.The misconception that feminism is about hating men—it’s actually about equality.How patriarchal structures affect both men and women.[13:31 - 19:15] | The ‘Good Girl’ Narrative & Performative OvergivingWomen are raised to be performative in their goodness—doing what is considered "right" rather than what is right for them.The societal pressure to put others first and suppress personal desires.The idea of being selfish when prioritizing oneself.Real-life examples of how this manifests (e.g., feeling guilty about skipping a family barbecue).[19:16 - 25:00] | Resentment & Overextension: How It Builds & Why It’s a Red FlagWomen over-functioning, over-committing, and then experiencing resentment.The concept of low-grade annoyance—a warning sign that needs attention.How burnout sneaks up when you always “do unto others” but never do unto yourself.The social conditioning behind why women struggle to say no.[25:01 - 31:00] | Learning to Want Again: The Importance of Small DesiresWomen often lose touch with their own desires.The practice of reconnecting with small wants (e.g., picking a TV show, choosing breakfast).Amanda’s example: Wanting to be a singer on The Voice—allowing yourself to dream without judgment.Maggie’s personal example: Wanting lemonade at Gloria Estefan’s house![31:01 - 36:45] | Practical Steps: Reclaiming Time & Making Space for YourselfReframing your identity beyond just being a mom or wife.“What if you had a third child—and that child was you?” (A great way to think about self-care.)Learning to recognize red flags of overgiving.Starting with small changes—reducing unnecessary commitments instead of drastic life overhauls.[36:46 - 42:00] | Handling Resistance & Discomfort from OthersWhen you start setting boundaries, expect pushback.How to navigate disappointment from family, kids, or partners.Viewing parenting differently: Kids learn resilience by experiencing disappointment.The role of safety when stepping into your power—why taking small steps matters.[42:01 - 46:00] | Final Thoughts & Where to Find MaggieRecap of the biggest takeaways:Noticing performative behaviors.Prioritizing yourself without guilt.Understanding feminism as empowerment, not opposition to men.Amanda thanks Maggie for the conversation.Maggie shares how to connect with her:Listen to The Marriage Life Coach PodcastVisit MaggieReyes.comEncouragement for listeners to reflect on what they truly want.

    Maggie Reyes is a Master Certified Life Coach and Modern Marriage Mentor who specializes in helping driven, ambitious women create their best marriages, without waiting for their partners to change or adding more work to their lives.

    She is the creator of The Marriage MBA Program, a 6 month mentorship in creating a successful marriage using principles from positive psychology, cognitive science and simple coaching tools that you can learn today and apply tomorrow.

    Maggie is the author of the best selling Questions for Couples Journal which has over 3,000 4 star ratings on Amazon.

    And she is the host of the The Marriage Life Coach Podcast which is consistently ranked among the top 2 percent podcasts out of over 2 million podcasts tracked by ListenNotes.

    When she isn’t teaching or coaching she loves obsessing over Formula 1 Racing, Bridgerton, reading fan fiction, sexy romance novels and watching superhero movies and Mexican Rom Coms with her hubby.

    If you want to learn how to stop doing the things that poison the love in a relationship and start doing the things that make love stronger, you can find the tools to create your best marriage at MaggieReyes.com.

    Links

    https://maggiereyes.com/

    https://maggiereyes.com/podcast/

    https://www.instagram.com/themaggiereyes/

    Maggie Reyes

    Life Coach + Marriage Mentor

    www.MaggieReyes.com

    To listen to The Marriage Life Coach Podcast Click Here.

    Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

    Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

    Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

  • 247. Reclaiming Your Wants: Breaking Free from Burnout & People-Pleasing

    247. Reclaiming Your Wants: Breaking Free from Burnout & People-Pleasing

    · How To Love Yourself No Matter What

    Are you feeling stuck in a cycle of burnout, constantly giving and never taking time for yourself? In this episode, I dive into the concept of *wanting*—why so many of us, especially women, lose touch with our own desires and how to reclaim them.

    We’ve been taught that being the “good girl” means putting everyone else first, but at what cost? I explore the impact of this mindset, the necessity of rest, and how learning to prioritize yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential.

    I also share insights from my own life, from skating as an adult to teaching spin class, and what they reveal about growth, failure, and nervous system regulation. Plus, I give you a sneak peek into next week’s episode, where we’ll talk even more about breaking free from outdated expectations.

    ✹ **Follow me on Instagram (@theamandahess) and TikTok for more insights.** Ready for deeper support? Book a free discovery call at [amandahess.ca](http://amandahess.ca).

    đŸ”č **(00:00) – Welcome & Life Updates**

    I’m getting ready for a trip to Puerto Rico for a business mastermind and reflecting on how exciting (and exhausting) travel can be.

    đŸ”č **(02:15) – Why So Many of Us Stop Wanting**

    As we move through life, we often stop prioritizing what *we* want. Instead, we live in a performative way, following the expectations placed upon us.

    đŸ”č **(05:30) – The Epidemic of Burnout & Over-Giving**

    Women are taught to give endlessly—our time, energy, and love. But where does that leave *us*? If you’re feeling exhausted, it’s time to take a step back and reassess.

    đŸ”č **(08:10) – The Role of Nervous System Regulation in Change**

    Figuring out what you want requires stepping outside of your comfort zone, which can be unsettling. That’s why nervous system regulation is *key* to making lasting shifts.

    đŸ”č **(11:20) – A Client’s Story: The Travel Trailer vs. The Boat**

    A powerful real-life example of how we unconsciously say no to ourselves in order to accommodate others—and how that can slowly erode our sense of self.

    đŸ”č **(14:35) – Why You Need Intentional Time for Yourself**

    You can’t figure out what you want by cramming self-care into the cracks of your day. Intentional time is essential to reconnecting with yourself.

    đŸ”č **(17:10) – The Finish Line Myth: You’re Already Enough**

    We often think we’ll be “enough” once we achieve certain milestones. But what if the real goal is realizing *you’re already enough* just as you are?

    đŸ”č **(19:45) – Sneak Peek: My Conversation with Maggie Reyes**

    Next week, I’ll be sharing a conversation with my former marriage coach, Maggie Reyes. She shares a game-changing mindset shift: treating yourself as if you were one of your kids—prioritizing *your* needs just as much as you prioritize theirs.

    đŸ”č **(21:00) – Final Thoughts & Next Steps**

    What would it take for you to prioritize yourself today? If you’re feeling stuck, coaching might be the next step. DM me on Instagram (@theamandahess) or book a free discovery call at [amandahess.ca](http://amandahess.ca).

    ---

    🎧 **Subscribe & Follow**

    💡 Instagram: [@theamandahess](https://www.instagram.com/theamandahess)

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    📌 **Save this episode** if you need to hear this message again—and make sure to tune in next week for my conversation with Maggie Reyes!

    ---

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  • 246. Coaching, Therapy, and the Path to Real Change

    246. Coaching, Therapy, and the Path to Real Change

    · How To Love Yourself No Matter What

    In this episode, I’m breaking down the key differences between coaching and therapy—a topic that often confuses people. While both provide emotional support, they serve very different purposes. Coaching is action-oriented, focused on shifting your mindset, regulating emotions, and taking steps toward real change, whereas therapy tends to focus more on deep emotional processing and past traumas.

    If you’ve ever wondered whether coaching is right for you or how it differs from therapy, this episode will give you the clarity you need!

    đŸ”č Want to experience coaching firsthand? Join my upcoming masterclass for just $10 at joinamanda.ca.

    Timestamps:

    [00:00] - Introduction

    Why I felt called to record this episode.The common misunderstanding between coaching and therapy.

    [02:15] - Why People Seek Coaching & How It Compares to Therapy

    Many women come to coaching feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or emotionally dysregulated.Coaching is not cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), though they have some overlaps.

    [05:30] - What Coaching Looks Like in Practice

    The first step in coaching is creating emotional safety.I help clients regulate their nervous system so they can start thinking more clearly.Simple tools like breathwork, movement, sensory engagement, and scheduling self-care.

    [09:45] - The Shift from Emotional Regulation to Thought Work

    Coaching helps you change how you think—not just what you think.We begin questioning deeply ingrained beliefs that are keeping you stuck.The difference between coaching and therapy: coaching is solution-focused and actionable.

    [14:00] - How Social Conditioning Holds Women Back

    Many of us have been taught to prioritize others’ needs over our own.People-pleasing, overworking, and feeling like life is a performance rather than something you truly live.How coaching helps you break free from these patterns and create a life that feels aligned.

    [18:30] - Why Questioning Your Thoughts Is the Key to Transformation

    Most of us believe our thoughts are absolute truths, but they’re just perspectives.When we start questioning what we think is “right” or “necessary,” we unlock real change.Coaching teaches you to reshape your mindset so you can take control of your life.

    [22:00] - Closing Thoughts & Next Steps

    The power of coaching in shifting your mindset and daily experience.Want to dive deeper? Join my upcoming masterclass for just $10 at joinamanda.ca.Connect with me on Instagram & TikTok (@TheAmandaHess) or book a free consult at amandahess.ca/bookacall.

    Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

    Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

    Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

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