Afleveringen
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In this episode, I share a powerful clip from a recent coaching call where a client and I dive deep into this "I'll eventually give in" mentality. We discover that this persistent thought often stems from a younger, wounded part of ourselves that needs love and healing, not just a mindset shift.
We explore how doing this deeper inner healing work is not separate from the process of quitting pornography, but an essential part of finding lasting freedom. Learn why shaming yourself or relying on willpower alone won't lead to the change you seek, and how healing your inner wounds can make the journey so much easier.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/eventually-give-in
If youâre ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme
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I dive into the research behind thought suppression and explore why trying to fight off or ignore sexual thoughts can actually make them more intense and lead to out-of-control behavior. If you've struggled with thought suppression around sexuality, this episode will give you a new perspective.
Learn the research behind thought suppression, and why learning the skill of allowing versus suppression is vital for you to navigate unwanted sexual thoughts and feelings. I explain why acceptance, mindfulness and non-judgment are more effective tools and provide some practical tips you can start using today to
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/thought-suppression
If youâre ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme
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When we stop fearing and resisting our emotions, a whole new world of possibility opens up. Imagine being able to go after your biggest goals and dreams without being held back by the fear of failure, embarrassment, or rejection. Mastering the skill of feeling your feelings is the key to living an amazing life and overcoming pornography for good.
Discover the seven steps I teach my clients to help them process their emotions in a healthy way. By learning to name, locate, and relax into our feelings, we can start to see our emotions for what they really are: temporary vibrations in the body that don't have the power to hurt us, and that donât need to be distracted with pornography.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/stop-fearing-feelings-replay
If youâre ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme
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Hunter is our new coach and program ambassador at the Center for Overcoming Pornography. He facilitates our welcome calls, support group calls, and is generally the point of contact for anyone considering joining the program. His goal is to make sure everyone feels hopeful, connected, and knows what their next steps are, and heâs here today to share his story with you.
Join us this week as Hunter shares his own journey with pornography and how joining the program two years ago changed his life. We dive into the tragedy that is the shame he experienced keeping this a secret for years, how finally sharing his story with his family turned things around for him, and the concepts and tools that helped him the most.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/hunters-story
If youâre ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme
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Understanding the difference between head versus heart learning has been a crucial part of my own growth. The truth is, we donât find answers in our heads. We find them in our heart. And when we find the answers in our heart, we can create real change in our lives.
Tune in this week to discover the important differences between head and heart learning. I share my experience of shifting from learning with my head to learning from the heart, and youâll learn how to use heart learning to free yourself from pornography.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/heart-head-learning
If youâre ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme
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What is quitting porn really like and what has to change for you to be able to quit for good?
Tune in this week to hear from Gabe about whatâs really possible when you decide to quit porn and take action in pursuit of that goal. We discuss faith, shame, growth, and repentance, and Gabe shares the lessons heâs learned since deciding he wanted to quit viewing pornography.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/whats-possible-gabe
If youâre ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme
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Have you ever set a goal for yourself that felt impossible to achieve? Maybe you told yourself, âI'm never going to view porn again,â only to feel discouraged and ashamed when you couldn't live up to that standard.
Join me this week as I explore the concept of "dead people goals" and why theyâre harmful to your progress in overcoming pornography. I share examples of common dead people goals and show you how they can damage your relationship with yourself, and youâll also learn how to reframe your goals in a healthier, more achievable way.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/dead-people-goals
If youâre ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme
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Do you feel stuck in a cycle of trying to quit porn, only to slip up and feel like a failure? Have you tried willpower, counting days, and shame tactics, but nothing seems to work long-term? If so, you're not alone.
Join me this week to discover the five biggest mistakes people make when trying to quit pornography. Whether you've struggled for decades or are just starting your journey, youâll learn the tools and insights you need to finally break free and create the life you desire.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/5-biggest-mistakes
Register for my free live class, The New, Revolutionary Way to Quit Porn for Good, September 19, 2024. A shame-free, sex-positive methodology that is guaranteed to help you overcome pornography for good: https://centerforovercoming.com/freeliveclass
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Have you struggled to overcome pornography for years or even decades? Do you feel out of control, ashamed, and hopeless that you'll never be able to quit for good? If you resonate, todayâs powerful episode will show you what's truly possible when it comes to breaking free from your porn habit.
Tune in to hear the breakthroughs Sam experienced that allowed him to finally quit porn for good after 20 years of failed attempts. He shares how overcoming his porn habit improved every area of his life, from his marriage to his career, and his thoughts on the long-term impact of investing in yourself.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/whats-possible-sam-2
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This week, Iâm joined by Dr. Kersti Spjut, a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in sexual health and perfectionism. With years of experience running programs at BYU for people conflicted about their porn use, she brings a wealth of knowledge and practical strategies to help navigate the unique challenges that come with having ADHD while trying to change sexual behaviors.
Tune in this week as Kersti dives deep into the connection between ADHD and porn use. She offers her insights on the shame and stigma surrounding ADHD, why those with ADHD may be more drawn to the âstickinessâ of porn, and her top recommendations of interventions that have helped people with ADHD manage their porn use.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/adhd-porn-use-kersti-spjut
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One of the biggest misconceptions about having a porn habit is that if youâre experiencing unwanted pornography use, youâre lacking strength, willpower, or spirituality. This misleading belief is not only false but often leads to avoidance techniques I call Band-Aid solutions. In this episode, I show you how to stop relying on these quick fixes and how making tiny changes in the way you cope with emotions can change everything.
Discover what Band-Aid solutions can look like in practice and why they donât work long-term. Learn why buffering and numbing out prevents you from processing emotions in a healthy way, and how to stop the cycle of turning to porn every time life gets challenging so you can finally experience true freedom.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/no-more-band-aid-solutions
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To dive into abusive attitudes and behaviors, boundaries, and worthiness wounds, Iâm joined by Lindsay Poelman this week. Lindsay started as a betrayal trauma coach for women whose husbands view porn and is now a facilitator for Trauma-Informed coaches. Sheâs here to shed light on how worthiness wounds can contribute to abusive attitudes and behaviors, and what you can do to start the healing process.
Discover the emotional wounds that often contribute to abusive dynamics in relationships. Lindsay and I explore examples of how abusive attitudes and behaviors can manifest, why youâre more likely to exhibit abusive tendencies if you have deep worthiness wounds, and Lindsayâs brain hacks for setting boundaries and creating a sense of self-safety.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/abusive-attitudes-behaviors-lindsay-poelman
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To protect and provide is a beautiful energy that can be used for so much good in our world, regardless of gender. However, in the presence of worthiness wounds, these values can quickly turn toxic, and I show you how in this episode.
Hear what worthiness wounds are, why they hurt, and how they might be showing up for you if you identify with the value of protecting and providing. Learn how this role turns toxic if you havenât healed your worthiness wounds, why this conditioning is often enmeshed with toxic masculinity, and examples of how you can use this value of protecting and providing in healthy and honorable ways instead.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/worthiness-wounds-part-2-protect-provide
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The working backwards process is all about figuring out what youâre buffering from. The value lies in going further back than you might typically be used to, to get to the root of why you self-sabotaged. By uncovering the root cause of your self-sabotage, you unlock the keys to building lasting change.
I walk you through the keys to using the working backwards process effectively, and share an example from my own life of how I use this technique to understand myself better and replace self-judgment with self-compassion.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/working-backwards
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Letâs talk about shame-free commitment. Whether your goal is to quit viewing porn completely, view it a couple of times a week, or heal your sexual shame, the why behind it is an essential component of your journey to quitting porn.
Your feelings are the fuel for your quitting journey. I show you how to ditch the shame and focus on building shame-free commitments that empower you to live your best life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/shame-free
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If youâre currently on a journey towards quitting your pornography habit, chances are youâve experienced denial along the way. Denial is a defensive state where you might refuse to accept or look at the truth, and while this is a common human experience, shame and guilt often come along with it.
Learn a shame-free perspective on denial and examples of when denial shows up as a result of grief. Hear about the importance of noticing and feeling your sense of grief and how to find the peace and healing you desire.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/denial
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In this Worthiness Wounds series, Iâll be speaking specifically to men and the worthiness wounds Iâve observed. A worthiness wound is the wound of shame and never feeling good enough, believing you have to do or be something more to be worthy. Itâs not your fault if you resonate, but youâre the only one who can heal them, and Iâm showing you how.
Learn about the conditioning men receive that creates worthiness wounds and the types of results they produce. Hear why youâll continue to feel empty if youâre chasing external accomplishments as a way to heal, how these types of wounds create buffering activities, and why they hurt not only you but those you love most too.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/worthiness-wounds-part-1-the-conditioning
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If youâre learning new skills related to your porn use, theyâre changing your life, and youâre feeling the benefits, but other people donât get it, youâre not alone. Many people find themselves in situations where they feel relentlessly attacked by shame messages. While it might feel like itâs hindering your healing process, the truth is your power doesnât come from other people finally getting it.
Learn what to do when everyone around you takes a shame approach to porn. Iâm showing you how your peace and freedom come from not participating in these narratives, some ways you might choose to step out of the line of fire, and how, when you learn to do this, you can make a much bigger difference in your community.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/everyone-shame-approach
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Coach Kat is on the show this week to address the itâs-not-working mentality, where you feel stuck and like nothing has changed. Maybe it feels like youâve been doing the work for months, only to keep viewing porn. Perhaps this plateau is tempting you to give up, but the truth is the breakthrough youâre looking for is right around the corner.
Listen in this week as Coach Kat shows you how the itâs-not-working mentality might be showing up for you, and why you shouldnât give up at this point. Hear why the work youâre currently doing isnât going to waste, even if it feels like it, and how we know that the magic of change is inevitable if you donât give up on yourself.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/ask-a-coach-the-its-not-working-mentality
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This weekâs Ask a Coach question is one many of you can probably relate to: âDoes the shame I feel after slipping up and viewing porn ever really go away?â
While we can learn to move through shame in different and more useful ways, I donât know that itâs possible to completely get rid of it. The good news is that while shame will continue to show up for us, what we can do is start developing shame-resilience. Coach Jessica Farmer is here this week to shed light on what it means to become shame-resilient and how to start practicing this skill.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/ask-a-coach-become-shame-resilient
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