Afgespeeld
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When reading the lives of the saints, Orthodox Christians can encounter several temptations. One of these is doubt or unbelief, especially concerning events that happened many centuries ago. In the lives of saints we encounter supernatural wonders such as their endurance during martyrdom, their miracles, and their great ascetic achievements, and some find them hard to believe. The question arises: how does one overcome the temptation of doubt or unbelief when reading these marvellous lives?
In this talk, Father Kosmas explains that doubt or unbelief occurs because the faith of present-day Christians has become “weak and dried up.” He then uses the advice of saints and elders to show how to overcome the temptation of doubt or unbelief when reading the lives of the saints, and refers to the examples of ancient and contemporary saints.
The following questions are also discussed: when flying over Australia, what did St Paisios say about the absence of canonized saints there? Are there contemporary examples of saints revealing their relics as happened in ancient times? What does St Nicodemos the Athonite say to those who find it hard to believe that angels communed the desert ascetics of old? Have there been recent instances of such miracles as the warming of the frozen waters in the life of the Holy Forty Martyrs of Sebaste?
Other points covered in this talk include: how in his youth a great elder lost his faith, then returned to the Church through a book on the lives of the saints; some examples of saints whose parents often read them the lives of the saints; whether anathemas apply to the heterodox (those outside the Orthodox Church); and how some find it hard to believe that St Ephraim the Syrian, who knew no Greek, spoke fluent Greek to St Basil the Great.
Talk 81 duration: 4hrs 15mins
Chanting duration: 29mins (Canon to the Most Holy Theotokos "Quick to Hear")
Total duration: 4hrs 44mins
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This talk is a continuation of Talks 78 and 79. In the Orthodox Church there are many beliefs, customs, and traditions, but not all of these are essential for one’s salvation. The beliefs required of all Orthodox Christians are called dogmas. A few examples are the dogmas that Christ was both fully man and fully God, that the Virgin Mary is the Mother of God, and that the Holy Spirit is God. The question arises: is veneration of the saints and the belief that they pray for us a dogma of the Orthodox Church and therefore essential for every Christian?
In this talk, Father Kosmas states that the teaching on the veneration and intercessions of the saints is indeed an essential Christian dogma. He explains that mere acceptance of this teaching is not enough, and proceeds to give important practical advice on how to establish a proper view of and relationship with the saints.
The following questions are also discussed: why is it important to especially venerate the local and national saints of one’s country? Why did Saint John of San Francisco especially venerate Saint Herman of Alaska and Saint Peter the Aleut? Is it a sin for parents to provide their children with books and films on fantasy and falsehoods while ignoring the lives of the saints? Are the saints closer to those who venerate them, pray to them, and read their lives? Why does one Orthodox priest strongly recommend that adults today read the saints’ lives written for children? Is it permissible for Orthodox Christians to read the lives of Catholic saints and to pray to them?
Other points covered in this talk include: the importance of giving simplified lives of saints to one’s children and godchildren; how one should imitate the virtues and sanctity of the saints; how the saints’ intercessions before God help and protect us; the importance of using the lives and writings of the saints to illustrate spiritual concepts; the dangers of early school enrolment; more examples of saints who themselves read the lives of saints; how under Turkish rule the lives of saints encouraged Orthodox Christians to maintain their faith, and helped those who had fallen away to return to the Church; how parents will answer on the Day of Judgement for not teaching their children to read the lives of saints; and the wonderful and powerful simplified versions of the lives of New Martyr Elias and Saint Sebastian of Jackson and San Francisco.
Duration: 4hrs 14mins
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This talk is a continuation of Talk 78: “Why Do the Demons Tremble When We Read the Lives of the Saints?” For many years, few lives of saints were available in the English language, leaving the English-speaking Orthodox faithful without this soul-saving spiritual nourishment. Such is no longer the case, and we now have volumes of the lives of saints available in English. Nevertheless, the majority of Orthodox Christians are spiritually deprived because they read the lives of saints either rarely or not at all.
In this talk, Father Kosmas uses the teachings of various saints and elders to show the spiritual value of reading the lives of saints and to explain why they are considered the encyclopedia of Orthodoxy. He reads from a range of saints’ lives and emphasises that we should study them in order to apply aspects of their lives to our own spiritual life.
The following questions are also discussed: is it easy to confidently speak with the saints and to have our prayers answered? Why is there a greater emphasis on reading the lives of saints than on reading the Gospels? Why did the Roman Catholic Church remove many pre-schism saints from their calendar? How can Orthodox Christians overcome doubts and unbelief when reading about the great achievements and miracles in the lives of the saints? Can the lives of the saints help us understand more about ghosts and UFOs?
Other points covered in this talk include: how Saint John of San Francisco emphasised studying and commemorating the saints of one’s homeland; the importance of reading the lives of recent saints and elders; how many deceptions and heresies among Orthodox Christians today are due to neglecting the lives of the saints; how to resist sexual temptation by reading about saints who were tempted; how the disabled and sick can benefit from reading the lives of saints who suffered similarly; and why a woman saint who was being tortured felt pain, unlike many martyrs who reportedly felt no pain.
Duration: 4hrs 7mins
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Veneration of the saints and reading their lives is essential to the Christian way of life. Yet Protestants reject these customs, and accuse the Orthodox Church of placing more emphasis on the saints than on the Holy Bible—a view encountered even among some Orthodox Christians. What these people fail to realize is that the lives of the saints are the key to understanding the Holy Bible and to progressing spiritually.
In this talk, Father Kosmas uses the teachings of saints and elders to explain that the demons fear the lives of the saints because they teach us how to fulfil the Lord’s commandments. He describes how the lives of saints enlighten and transform those who read them, and emphasises that our Orthodox saints would themselves read the lives of the saints that lived before them.
The following questions are also discussed: can those who do not read the lives of the saints rightly be called “spiritual prunes”? What did one priest notice about his parishioners who read the lives of saints? What did St. Clement mean when he said, “Come to the saints, for they who unite themselves to them shall be made holy”? What did one holy bishop mean when he said, “In these lives the Gospel truth shines forth in examples”? Why do some priests urge parents not to send their children to heterodox schools? Why did a Serbian saint praise the Greek Orthodox?
Other points covered in this talk include: how the lives of saints can help us better understand the Antichrist, the number 666, and the end of the world; why some modern “Orthodox” theologians prefer to de-emphasise the lives of the saints; how St. Paisios referred to the lives of the saints as spiritual vitamins; how reading the lives of the saints is like learning another language; how as a university student St. John of San Francisco would read the lives of the saints instead of attending lectures and studying; and how possibly the greatest dogmatic theologian of the 20th century had the daily custom of bowing to every saint’s icon in his room.
Duration: 4hrs
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Considerable information is available today on raising children and on various parenting styles, leaving many Orthodox Christians confused as to which style to use when parenting their children. Some of this information is correct, but how are Orthodox parents to know what to accept or reject? There is a lot of Orthodox literature on monasticism and very little on the upbringing of children. What literature exists often does not cover many of the contemporary issues facing parents. For this reason it is important for parents to read the writings of the saints and elders that have lived in our times.
In this talk Father Kosmas uses the teachings of the contemporary elders Saints Paisios and Porphyrios to explain how parents who are over-protective, over-bearing or who pressure their children are actually traumatizing them. This abuse is so harmful that, according to the saints, it affects the emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual development of the children. Father Kosmas also shows that even the limited findings of psychologists and doctors agree with the simple but enlightened teachings of these saints.
The following questions are also discussed: what are parents to do when their children are disobedient? What did Saint Porphyrios say causes children to become lethargic, weak-willed and generally unsuccessful in life? How much freedom should children have? How does unstructured play and discovering the world help children develop? What did Saint Paisios mean when he advised mothers not to pressure their children but to pressure themselves when dealing with their children’s problems?
Other points covered in this talk include: the effects on children when their parents constantly want to do things for them; how hovering over children can suffocate them; the consequences of nagging parents; how religious parents often force their children in spiritual matters, causing them to leave the Church; and how parents who try to fix their children’s problems themselves end up doing more harm than good.
Duration: 3hrs 47mins
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It is becoming increasingly common for Orthodox clergymen to send believers with mental health issues, including children, to psychiatrists and psychologists for treatment. Moreover, many clergymen study and use psychology to help those with spiritual or mental health problems. As a result, many are left without healing because Divine Grace has been replaced by the human art of psychology.
In this talk Father Kosmas uses the teachings of the contemporary elders Saints Paisios and Porphyrios to explain how children are not only influenced by seeing the good and bad examples of their parents (something psychology agrees with), but also by the spiritual state of their parents (something psychology cannot comprehend and rejects). Father Kosmas emphasizes that parents can spiritually transmit to their children either their passions and sins or their good habits and virtues.
The following questions are also discussed: what was Saint Paisios’s attitude towards psychiatrists and psychologists? Are Christians allowed to take psychiatric medications? What is meant by “The best inheritance parents can give their children is their own spiritual life”? How do parents spiritually transmit either passions or virtues to their children? Can children be affected by their parents’ viewing of pornography and flirting on social media? Can parents harm their own children by the evil eye? Are children punished for the sins of their parents? How does a parent’s sin of abortion affect his or her other children?
Other points covered in this talk include: an example of how a daughter tormented her parents because of a secret sin they committed; how one’s good or evil thoughts can affect people and even physical objects; how a mother can transmit stress, anxiety and fear to her child without showing what she feels; an explanation of Saint Porphyrios’s teaching that “the sanctity of the parents saves the child”; and four circumstances in which Orthodox Christians are permitted to seek the help of psychiatrists and psychologists.
Duration: 4hrs
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In society today children are increasingly at risk of developing psychological and emotional problems, the effects of which can last long into adulthood. The question arises: why? The Church, doctors and psychologists all seem to agree that many of these problems are caused by trauma children experience in their mother’s womb and in the early years of their life. Unfortunately, many parents are unaware of what types of experiences are actually traumatic for their children.
In this talk Father Kosmas uses the teachings of the contemporary elders Saints Paisios and Porphyrios to outline a number of experiences that negatively affect children, to the point of developing serious psychological, physical and emotional problems. The saints also give valuable advice to parents on how to identify and avoid these problems.
The following questions are also discussed: what should parents do when children are rude and rebellious? What does St Paisios advise regarding spanking children? Can excessive reprimands hurt children psychologically? Why does St Paisios warn parents not to discipline their children before going to bed? What did St Porphyrios mean when he said of traumatized children, “The child grows up and develops, but deep down he does not change”? How can we help children to grow up strong and able to face life’s challenges? What are the different ways that parents transmit their own negative traits, habits and passions to their children? Can those who were damaged in childhood successfully marry and raise children? How does depression in children differ from depression in adults?
Other points covered in this talk include: how the first two years are critical for the child’s later development; a saint’s advice to parents whose children shout, break things, hit others and are generally very naughty; an explanation of what Fr Seraphim Rose meant when he said, “Few are those today who can clearly express their emotions and ideas and face them in a mature way”; and the question of whether sending children to childcare or to school at a young age can cause serious problems.
Duration: 3hrs 53mins
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Psychologists and doctors believe that the causes of mental and physical illnesses can be divided into three categories: 1. genetic factors (heredity); 2. prenatal factors (adverse events during pregnancy); 3. environmental factors after birth, including upbringing. The Orthodox Church has always known this but adds something even more important: the spiritual state of the parents before, during and after pregnancy and the child’s spiritual development. The Church has always emphasized the importance of giving children plenty of love, affection, guidance and attention to ensure their bodily, mental and spiritual health.
In this talk Father Kosmas uses the teachings of the contemporary elders Saints Paisios and Porphyrios to explain how important it is for children to feel love, acceptance, and affection from their parents. In this way they develop strength of character and grow strong in body, mind and soul.
The following questions are also discussed: why do some children of religious parents turn out well while others rebel? Why do children brought up in the same family turn out so differently? Why did St Porphyrios emphasize the importance of love, harmony and understanding between parents for the successful upbringing of children? Is there any hope for people whose parents made many mistakes during their upbringing? What should parents do upon realizing that they made serious mistakes in the upbringing of their children? Is there a link between minimal breastfeeding and anxiety and addiction?
Other points covered in this talk include: how a number of people are afraid to marry and have children because of the world’s many problems; a mother’s realization of how her marital problems during pregnancy affected her child’s psychological and emotional state; how breastfed children are less likely to develop ADHD and more likely to succeed in life; and the necessity of forming an emotional bond with one’s children in order to have a healthy relationship with them that lasts into adulthood.
Duration: 3hrs 47mins
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Education and psychology are continually offering new theories to parents and teachers on child development. One such theory, developed in the 1970’s, involves praising children to improve their self-esteem, confidence, motivation and performance in school. Followers of this “self-esteem movement” believe it produces children who will go on to form a better, more positive and productive society. Opponents of the movement, however, hold that praising children leads to psychological problems. Before this movement, praising children was not common in Western society, and there are cultures in which praising children is considered harmful. Who then is correct?
In this talk Father Kosmas uses the lives and teachings of various saints and elders to examine whether the self-esteem movement is compatible with Orthodoxy and whether it has had a positive or a negative effect on society. Furthermore, he helps parents and teachers understand that the teachings of the Church do not change, and that they should trust these teachings more than the ever-changing theories of the world.
The following questions are also discussed: why did the saints strongly desire to be ridiculed and abused? Is avoiding praise only for the saints? Why did Saint Paisios feel sick when people praised him? What did Saint Paisios say causes nervousness in children? What did Saint Porphyrios mean when he said that people accept lies about themselves as their daily nourishment? How can parents protect their children from becoming sick egotists? If humility unites us to God, what does egotism unite us to?
Other points covered in this talk include: an account of a mother who was responsible for her son’s sick sense of self-confidence; how parents encourage their children to believe untrue things about themselves; how Saint Porphyrios’ mother never praised him and how this affected him; why children today are left weak and drained of strength when their will is opposed; how today’s children continually seek praise and applause; and how Facebook can hinder progress in the spiritual life.
Duration: 4hrs
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Wherever one turns, one hears parents complaining and seeking advice about problems with their children—problems with their behaviour, their education, their mental health, and their faith. These problems usually begin in early childhood and increase during the teenage years, but they can also occur in adulthood. Parents find it difficult to deal with their children’s weaknesses, faults, and passions, and are at a loss for when and how to discipline their children.
In this talk Father Kosmas uses the teachings of various saints and elders to help parents navigate their most difficult task: the upbringing of children. He emphasizes that it is a great mistake for parents to seek advice either from no one or from people who have limited knowledge on this topic. Instead, they should turn to those who, enlightened by God, can give them the correct answers to the age-old question: how do we bring up our children? Father Kosmas also explains how it is that parents can know in theory much of what the saints and elders teach on raising children, yet continually fail to put these teachings into practice.
The following questions are also discussed: how do parents create monsters? What is the best way for parents to correct their children’s weaknesses and faults? Why is it wrong to expect perfection from children? Why did one spiritual father penance parents who complained about their children? How did the saints advise parents to reprimand their children? How do parents determine which of their children’s behaviours need correction and which do not? How did the saints explain why children become indifferent and unfeeling? Apart from prayer, what else is necessary in the upbringing of children? What should parents do when their children rebel? Should parents force their children to go to church?
Other points covered in this talk include: how parents who idolize their children damage them for life; parents who, blinded by irrational love and affection, refuse to see their children’s faults; why the first seven years of a child’s life are important for their future development; examples of mothers who were reluctant to discipline their children for fear of losing their favour; the importance of speaking the truth to one’s children; an explanation of Saint Porphyrios’ saying, “Words hammer at the ears”; and what parents should do before speaking to their children.
Duration: 4hrs
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This talk is a continuation of Talk 76: “Speak Less to Your Children, and More to God About Your Children!” Many Orthodox parents have a tendency not to ask for help when experiencing problems with their young and adult children. This may be either out of pride or because they simply do not realize that such help is available within the Church.
In this talk, Father Kosmas uses the teachings of various saints and elders to outline three ways in which parents can receive help with their children. The first is for parents to pray for their children. The second is for parents to ask clergy and monastics for prayers and advice. The third way is for parents to submit their children’s names for commemoration at 40 consecutive Divine Liturgies – usually at monasteries that serve Divine Liturgy every day.
The following questions are also discussed: how should parents react upon realizing their mistakes with their children? Why do many religious parents experience failure with their children? Why do many saints and elders emphasise the importance of a mother’s prayers? Why is it important for parents to keep in mind their children’s salvation when dealing with their problems? Should parents pray for God to send suffering to their rebellious children? Why do some struggling parents progress spiritually while others deteriorate? What can parents do when their children leave home prematurely?
Other points covered in this talk include: how God will judge today’s children leniently because of their difficult circumstances; Saint Ambrose of Optina’s advice to a mother whose son had become rebellious and an unbeliever; why only some monastics can give advice to parents; how Saint Paisios warned parents against being overanxious about their children; how parents should not coerce their children to do good; the story of a young man who complained to a priest that he wanted to fall with a woman but continually failed; and how Saint Porphyrios helped a mother whose son was staying out all night with bad company.
Duration: 4hrs
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For centuries the upbringing of children has been a topic of great concern for parents—a concern that is on the rise due to the negative influences of society and a minimal understanding by parents today of this most important task. Instead of turning to the Church for guidance, all too often Orthodox Christians look to psychologists, teachers, doctors, and the media. How are we to overcome this lack of understanding?
In this talk Father Kosmas uses the teachings of the contemporary elders Saints Paisios and Porphyrios to help parents with the challenges of raising children. These saints emphasize how an improper upbringing results in serious, long-term psychological problems and they give valuable advice on how to raise children that are psychologically and spiritually healthy.
The following questions are also discussed: who is more responsible for raising children—the father or the mother? What does Saint Paisios say about breastfeeding? Does the spiritual life of the parents affect the unborn child? What effect do harsh discipline and excessive reprimands have on children? Who is to blame when a child is disobedient and badly behaved? Why do many children develop a long-term aversion towards their parents? Why does Saint Porphyrios blame Christian parents for their adult children’s problems? Why did a married man become very sick each time he had contact with his parents?
Other points covered in this talk include: Saint Paisios’ view on working mothers; how parents must give their children as much time as possible; Saint Porphyrios’ explanation of how a child’s psychological state affects his relationships with others in adulthood; an explanation of why children and teenagers prefer to spend time in their rooms alone; how parents tend to blame others for their children’s behavioral and mental problems; why many adults avoid their parents, sometimes even secretly wishing their death; and Saint Porphyrios’ fearful explanation of why the souls of many children and adults are in constant danger of collapsing.
Duration: 3hrs 31mins
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Sexual relations are one of the most common areas of conflict in marriage, even for Orthodox Christians, and the resulting problems can even lead to divorce. Yet many in the Orthodox Church avoid any discussion of sexual relations, thinking they have nothing to do with the spiritual life. What they fail to realize is that the reverse is true: the Holy Fathers, elders, Holy Scripture and the canons of the Orthodox Church consider this topic extremely important, and offer the faithful a wealth of information and guidance. Being ignorant of this, in a desperate attempt to save their marriages many seek help from those who virtually always give advice contrary to God’s law.
In this talk Father Kosmas uses the Holy Scriptures, the canons, and the teachings of various saints and contemporary elders to answer many questions that Orthodox Christians have concerning sexual relations in marriage. He especially emphasizes that abstinence from sexual relations, whether for spiritual or other reasons, often leads to many serious problems, even adultery and divorce. In particular, Saint Paul states that undiscerning abstinence during fasting periods, instead of bringing benefit, can become a source of temptation.
The following questions are also discussed: why is it said that ‘Hell is full of proud people who have lived in virginity’? What days should a married couple abstain from sexual relations? How should couples fast and abstain from sexual relations when preparing for Holy Communion? Why were the Holy Fathers so concerned about married couples that abstained from relations for long periods of time? Breaking the food fast or breaking the marital fast: which does the Church consider more serious? In what ways can married people surpass the virtues of monastics?
Other points covered in this talk include: the great need for spouses to discuss and be considerate of each other’s sexual needs and weaknesses; Elder Paisios’ surprising attitude toward strict spiritual fathers; how the holy canons give a married couple (and not the spiritual father) the right to ‘judge for themselves’ with regard to sexual abstinence; Elder Paisios’ advice to couples when one spouse has a more moderate level of sexual desire than the other; how the Church penances those who fail to abstain from marital relations on fast days; and the urgent need for books and preaching on the topic of marriage.
Duration: 4hrs
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